Name: Close Encounters of the Yellow Belly | Ep 84 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2021-09-27T16:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Close Encounters of the Yellow Belly | Ep 84 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Close Encounters of the Yellow Belly | Ep 84 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-27. Transcript available.

Close Encounters of the Yellow Belly | Ep 84 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
you two are something we're bad friends number one hello hello number two i
have a secret from
about you but i i'm afraid my client told me not to tell you but i i it's itching
you have
a secret for me oh from you i have to keep a secret from you tell me but let's
go to him first
introduce our guest again who's here okay well we got this guy right here
right um he got a little too much love last time it was so much just it drove
me bring doc back
so are you performing yeah are you really he's haha cafe is that
are you being a mean weenie yeah that's all they go you know i mean where is he
performing
how about this how about this wherever there's a coffee shop with a stage
yeah yeah he's on jefferson and venice
are you still directing planes at van nuys telling jokes doc is the man doc is
back we love doc to
death and by the way i see you're performing on friday at the laugh factory why
don't you bring doc
i'm performing tonight oh tonight yeah then bring doc tonight i can't just
bring this little guy famous
bobby lee super superstar famous bobby the biggest name on the flyer can't
bring somebody to do first
of all can i just say this interesting i'm on the outs there why because last
night i found out
something very interesting what is this the secret you were going to tell me no
okay i'm like i can't
look at him tell you wait why do we need to blank it out is that why no i think
you should be very
upset i would be upset yeah tell me but can we do the laugh factory first fine
all right
so um yesterday there i was supposed to be there last night okay i'm you know i
called and i go i
can't make it i think we got a birthday cake on stage for you oh and joe coy
and all these people showed
up i'm like i can't i can't go right why why can't you go because i i was at a
two michelin star
sushi restaurant two's not enough for me i don't know you're a three man i'm a
three so i get but
when you slum you do two when i'm roughing it yeah yeah you're when you're roughing
it have you ever
been to a michelin star restaurant no do you know what that is no i don't even
love that yeah yeah
it's good yeah michelle you know michelin the tire company yeah the car tire
company they also
rate restaurants internationally believe that or not what the because back in
the 19 like early
back in the day they were more like prestigious i guess they were the only tire
they're still very
prestigious in the sense you know michelin has like a tire on your honda right
but they also make
very very high-end tires for like f1 and indie for like high-end cars okay so
they were a
prestigious very wealthy company and they they had this side branch of doing uh
rating restaurants
kind of like guinness book of world records is guinness the beer company what
yeah so you know
that in france same thing in france is probably like 15 like two or three stars
how many how many
michelin star restaurants are in france look that up because honestly probably
30 maybe 30 or 40.
wait a minute so michelin owns these restaurants no no no they what they do is
they if you get a star
one star it's like this restaurant hovers above any other plain restaurant you
go to correct you're
right okay two stars it's like you're gonna drop a grand a lot look at 57 new
starred restaurants in
france yeah yeah 600 638 restaurants in france including 57 new ones holy 638
restaurants have
michelin stars yeah it's quite quality that's insane though so what's the
difference between michelin
and yelp oh oh man i need to hire a man jefferson and sawtelle at 9 30 tonight
no you know what for real though it's just it's snooty it's like fancy snooty
oh it's just for
high-end people no you can you could go i could go yeah yeah yeah we would have
to we would have to
take you there yeah that would be that would be that's the right answer you
could go though okay
yeah yeah and i feel like miss you miss your bobby lee we uh you and andrew we've
uh happy to have
you there is a little black man outside trying to get in he ordered the um
french fries
so my point is so a michelin star restaurant so last time i went to a two-star
there's one on
la cienega yes and um it cost a lot how much per person 400. jesus christ and
you don't even drink
booze no see because i when i drink alcohol and if i go to any fancy restaurant
it's another
fuck load of money because you're drinking two drinks each drink is like 40
bucks but just it's
also a two and a half hour event yes it's an it's a night out so yeah you don't
do this all this is
like it's like a dance or something or is it just what just eat it what do you
see what do you see
is it dancing are people singing and dancing yes no it's not a black there's a
show
yeah i mean i saw a black funeral once on tv or whatever it's the most some guy
did a
fucking somersault crying into the casket no toward the casket though like a he
tumbled toward it
it was amazing okay yeah yeah but why do you guys get so anyway well you know
this is why we
this is very emotional people this is very not 2021 what we're doing what is
not what is it we have
a very stereotypical telling jokes that are like we've been doing this since
the beginning i know
i understand that maybe let's move on so anyway the michelin star restaurant
you want to stop having
fun on the show there's a one called cali on melrose i've been to twice yeah it's
really good but
we should take you to one i'm being real no we should we should take him to cali
or one of these
ones like bestia in downtown is it michelin i love i like i've been in four
seasons is that the same
no but they have but they do have very high-end chefs so i didn't pay either eric
griffin and them
well jarod paid so jarod paid yeah let's make eric pay for this let's take ep
and make eric pay
yeah yeah eric will pay for this yeah he should program okay because for being
on this program let's
go back to the laugh factory so i'm in trouble there what did you do so i call
and they go i can't make
it wait time out yeah the michelin star restaurant you went there with whom my
brother you just you
and steve yeah yeah and steve my boy what did he get what are you doing there
steve it's it's it's
one of those sushi restaurants where you can't order oh oh you went to uh park
no no no we went on
la ciena gets the park's on a michelin star restaurant sushi park is i don't
know but anyway um
is it yeah it is you're talking about above joe's pizza no sushi park that's
that's michelle oh yeah
all right my bad but that one there's no menu either okay so how do you go on
the web michelin
website to find this yeah when you're ordering tires yeah right you click on i
want to get two
sets of snow tires and snow crab i'm just trying to educate myself no you know
what we love it that's
why we love you you're right actually actually by the way yeah yes he's right
you can go to the
michelin website to find out the restaurants that are on the michelin exactly
you can so yes you can
you can't make reservations or look at probably menus and stuff yeah look pete
look it up i mean
you know what you might be more right than you think okay and we laugh for no
reason we laugh for
no reason we're laughing in your face but like michelin what's the fanciest
restaurant you've been to
uh in here in the california yeah no give us nevada first
delaware let's go from east coast delaware on i've been to uh four seasons that's
it that's nice
that's nice yeah okay so look michelin guide has they've got like look you can
scroll down you can
see uh the restaurants that they've got on they have hotel ratings and all
sorts of stuff yeah
discover the michelin guide restaurant selection so there you go you can look
it up right there on
the website so why don't you say why don't you talk back to bobby for laughing
at you about that
he's an asshole more than that give him something more than that well you know
it ain't worth it he's
not even worth the energy right now oh wow all right all right i'm the one that
called you to get on
this podcast i've been i've been to michelin in japan by the way yeah which one
uh it was called uh
sai sai sai was it good was it how much was it too much how much was it i don't
i'm embarrassed about
that i just said you're proud of it i'm embarrassed i'm not a bear i'm
embarrassed too you have to say
because i said 400 of pop bobby you've been out of the country before too what's
wrong
hey man this is you know i've been i'll tell you where i've been in the world
okay okay i've been
to tokyo korea right i've been to south africa lond england yeah france yeah
germany oh australia
germany is my favorite you love that yeah yeah yeah also yeah i can like wear
the outfit yeah do you
still have that jacket yeah i do oh yeah mexico i've been to honduras honduras
canada obviously
what else where else have i been i've been um the philippines obviously the philippines
yeah hold
on my mom's calling okay mom you're on the bad friends podcast with me and bobby
and our special
guest doc say hi miss santino how come hey mom how come you didn't call me back
the four times that i
called you today i'm calling you now yeah but i was going through a tough time
all day today i called you
crying from the mcdonald's drive-thru this morning you didn't call me back that's
funny
i love you i'll call you after the show bye i love you yeah bye so yes i've
been out of the country
oh wow have you tijuana this guy's like what'd you do in tijuana you're a
classic other than buy
chicklets what did you do down there yeah yeah me and the comic named cisco we
did a show
oh i know i love cisco yeah yeah yeah so we just went over there to get some
tacos
oh so you were in san diego doing a show yeah and we walked across the border
tacos
yeah yeah yeah brown tacos yeah just regular brown tacos on a street or in a
restaurant it was in a
hotel street yeah it's the street tacos yeah we went to a restaurant over there
he went to have tacos
the four seasons in tijuana no we were just walking blocks too tacos in c he
met they met two tacos at
a bar yeah and they had tacos at a hotel i see that's what they did that's what
they did yeah yeah
what did you do down there tacos yeah yeah right right anyway he walked around
so can i go back to the
laugh factory now what happened yes so in the background i was talking to enrique
the manager in the
background i hear great great dude i love him is trying to flip that place
around hard he also
after the pan used to work for him for the improvs too when he worked there i
loved him
so i hear in the background the son of a bitch this god we're calling you know
me him about you it's
jamie masada in the background about you yeah and i go what the is he rambling
about and then jamie
comes on you broke my foot you broke his foot yes when two years ago wait what
yeah
how i broke his foot doing what so i was at the laugh factory before the
pandemic
and i had a good set and i was like jumping around in the lobby i see it right
now right and he goes
you calm down calm down right and i walked up and what are you gonna do right i
started hopping right
and it slammed down on my foot on his foot and you broke his foot and he goes
he was drunk so he goes
he's like screamed he goes and i thought he was kidding around like not exaggerating
he goes buddy
buddy i think you had something wrong wrong and i'll see you later you broke it
i go to the store
he's 90 years old i know so i go see you later right yeah and then he never
called me one time
for years should we call him what should we call him yeah let's see what he
says by the way you know
you know what i used to do to jamie uh masada people that don't know jamie's
the owner of the laugh
factory really sweet guy he i used to complain that they weren't paying us
enough yeah so i'm not
kidding because you know he would he takes money by the door for tickets and
seats yeah for the booth
yeah so i'm 