Name: Magical Asian Shin Lim | Ep 89 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2021-11-01T16:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Magical Asian Shin Lim | Ep 89 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Magical Asian Shin Lim | Ep 89 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-01. Transcript available.

Magical Asian Shin Lim | Ep 89 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
well you two are something we're bad friends do you know what jordan this is
yeah 94. no okay
this is just throughout a year actually this might that's this actually no no
this is this is
wait this is it's the number four so it's like well it's the four but it's got
to be
and also it's got to be 89. okay here's another point though but he wasn't too
far off all right
here's another point though yeah who gives a people like us do urbans yeah oh
you're an urban
yeah yeah no all right i thought you were midwest you're more urban chicago
chicago what the
there are suburbs in chicago yeah but chicago is a city we're urbans oh you're
in a sub
well no okay i'm urban's is san diego city no san diego is a big suburb
even downtown san diego isn't downtown it's a convention center
and it's it's like frat row that's all that is it's like drunk frat row that
san diego is not a real
city wow is that where you're from bobby yeah yeah yeah well i kind of knew
well then you already knew
that man so why would you ask that man sometimes i second guess my san diego is
a big town i love san
diego but it's not a city okay it's just a bunch of suburbs blended together
correct okay
is la a city yes yeah yeah but it's a lot of little cities yeah but it's still
because santa
monica is it's totally different from downtown totally echo park that it's like
too many little
cities we have a better is there a part that's like strictly named los angeles
yeah the center
of the city but also but not really like if you said if somebody goes i live in
los angeles you'd say
where but is our skid row better than your skid row in chicago yeah chicago's a
way tougher city
than this place our skid row is crazy here the murder rate in chicago is the
best we're the best
in the country no one kills more than us i don't know dude you you actually don't
know yeah yeah yeah
i can base it on the riots right when you guys had a riot in chicago right back
in the 60s right
yeah 92. i mean in terms of riots we had one of the best riots on planet earth
i know but that's
so long ago now what is this guy he's what is it what are you doing detroit
right d down d down
you know what i'm saying number two in the murder rate come on buddy you don't
feel that hey duck duck
this is not a sitcom is this the current is this the current murder rate let me
see go up where is
this from cities with the most murders in 2021 yeah let's see what we got here
detroit number four
yes st louis we went down chicago's 10. where's la not on the map oh it's not
on the map but can i
tell you something not mass shootings most shoot oh this is always good to mass
shootings yeah murder
map oh look at that i love the murder map can we not this is a good all right
you know what let's i'll
settle the argument right chicago is way more violence in a more terrible place
hey oh yeah okay
all right good right detroit's a bad st louis then baltimore yeah baltimore
would be yeah
birmingham yeah birmingham yeah detroit there you are dude shout out to detroit
detroit yeah we got
in a while baton baton baton la rouge isn't that where uh theo's from new orleans
right next door
casey mo memphis 10 cleveland richmond wow keep going keep going miami gardens
wash dc north charleston
peoria oh peoria illinois holy oh man even the asians get shot up there right
look at them look at that
grieving family what is that say yeah wait wait hold on real quick let's look
at this photo real quick
right yeah whoever died is that you guys is that someone you know no that's not
rudy crying right
there but just listen and that's you that's you if you were a lawyer that's you
consoling
yeah that's rudy crying that's you whoever died right yeah the guy in the right
didn't care as much
did not he's just like why are you crying so hard i think that's that deal yeah
yeah he didn't like
him yeah and he cheated on you 50 times and the dad is just reading the dad's
just yeah yeah he's
reading his grocery list this is i feel so bad because we don't this could be
the most horrific thing
yeah yeah yeah yeah and we're making fun of it but give reference to it it just
says
yeah yeah yeah give me a reference yeah but that kind of grieving happier we're
doing death stuff
i know you you went there i saw it was hurting all right let's talk about jeez
you know what here's
we go here we go right here's we go here's we go right because we have a
magical asian coming
we have the most magical asian coming that we've ever had have you do you like
magic three of them
in here okay it's gonna be you think that jules and i are magical no they're
regular asian we're
regular agents well you're talking about just asians in general magical but huh
you're talking about
asians in general yeah but there'll be three asians and two black guys it'll be
kind of balanced
it's so let's go positive and don't say that again do you think if i do if i do
if i do blackface on
this show do you think it would be bad i you know what i don't think it would
be if i do blackface
no that's a good point don't do that should i not do blackface wait tell me why
i shouldn't do it
because uh is it funny no it's is it funny to see a red-headed guy in blackface
red hair blackface
never seen it but you know it's still but to america it's still a white dude
to the hood come on you from the hood you know they still like the white dude
hey the black dude
sitting next to the white dude with the black face then i'll be yeah you start
a whole right
all right i'll do it i'll do it say no more let's go positive now yeah i
propose something yeah
let's just let's i've always want let's create a kid show okay right i think
that right i think we
have this perfect dynamic to create the best kid show in the world we can
create we can create mass
like little puppets right it can be in the street a grove whatever you know i
mean a grove
i don't know you know how the sesame street's on a street oh we're on an avenue
or a boulevard
yeah but let's create something different was on a boulevard sesame street was
on street how about
an island maybe like some sort of island what is it called it's called oh it
can't be turtle how
about this the tops of turtle island that's where the kids are yes the adults
are in the bottoms yeah
yeah but the kids yeah so if you look at that poster right this is the bottom
that's the bottom
of the turtle island and this looks like a kid show yeah right so maybe we'll
create a kid show
called the tops of turtle island right and it's a magical saturday morning kid
show yeah right obviously
he's the lead he's not just the lead you know he could play a kid
okay yeah yeah yeah i think that you could play the kids
right i don't think anyone shaved the mustache and i think bingo we're there
okay right yeah you could
yeah and what do we call you uh um because you know in sesame street they had
the there was a black
guy in it right the guy that would the bald-headed black guy that would walk
through the streets lavar
burton what was his name no it wasn't lavar burton who was it i don't know i
don't know his name
shell silverstein no that was a man y'all watch sesame street that much no that's
an author that's an
author bro oh okay wait man there he is there he is there he is so oh yeah yeah
yeah what you should
know this guy's name man he's like one of your guys he's one of your guys yeah
yeah yeah his name is
roscoe eddie murphy i know but when it comes to kids but it should be yeah yeah
yeah you should know
his name this is either this is either keenan from snl in costume yeah or steve
harvey's brother
the black muppets what oh there's black there's black muppets now that's what i'm
talking about
they were on sesame street no they're new they got shot oh yeah yeah that's
some uh they did get
they got shot that's some bm right yeah yeah crack but that's good
is that what it's supposed to be i'm kidding oh okay all right i'm just saying
the dupe two
new black muppets on sesame street one's a lawyer right well i mean he's he's
he disobeys the law
right that's for sure yeah put that back up it looks so fancy just click it in
you see the
now it's broken apart yeah yeah yeah rudy rudy since you're young you're the
youngest one here
what are the what are the names of the black muppets from sesame street i've
never watched
sesame street or okay let's let's start let's i watch barney okay yeah me too
yeah me too man
rudy since you're the youngest one in here what are the names of the black you
must know what are the
names of the black muppets from sesame street yeah the father is those are
brothers there's no
they're lovers they're lovers for sure they're lovers oh the one on the right
yeah his name
carl carl carl very good okay nice hanson carl hanson carl hanson never met a
black guy named
with the last name hanson have you carl though carl's a good one what about the
guy on the left
yeah left is darl darl darl daryl you mean no darl oh darl so carl and darl carl
and darl
all right carl and darl hey they're lovers yeah they're lovers right okay so it
are the tops of
turtle island let's create there's always an opening theme song carl right oh
right so i so we're
opening right so i'm gonna do a lot line from the new theme song yep happiness
on top of turtle island
welcome all my friends and everybody we love you
there's only a couple of black people here so everybody feels safe hey rudy
yeah we love them
so much bobby and here we go and we're gonna present carl hanson
then you come you come up i'm welcome yeah yeah yeah you're carl i thought he
said he was gonna be
carl no you're carl who gives a okay all right and now you come up and greet
the kids oh hey this is
the morning new show yeah yeah hey my little kiddies hey carl i love y'all once
again you love me
do you love us yeah we are yeah what do we learn today what do we learn today
carl today we're gonna
learn how to just love each other and make sandwiches oh we're not gonna learn
about the
alphabets or numerical numbers or anything about ethics well you gotta eat
first right energy we gotta
learn science and we're very inquisitive kids carl i have a question go ahead
buddy how come your skin
is different than mine well good question that's real because the atomic
structure of our atom
builds you to make you look like me wait a minute it makes me look like me and
make you look like you
oh wow because my dad says it's because um we're better than you wow what is it
what does your dad
say uh my dad say that uh your dad is racist that's a new word kids i got a
question yeah i'm
timothy hey timothy hey i'm seven okay nice to meet you timothy do you know oj
i don't know him but
i know of him yeah tell me about him i don't know anything because we didn't
learn about him
in the history books in that school oj broke football records that's it all
right now
i have another question okay your turn you don't have no more questions seven
year old
what you got um do you know bill cosby yes yes we do who is he who is what did
he do okay well
they're the company called jello right yeah yeah we love jello and they had
pudding pops yeah good
time yeah what did he do with the pudding pops well the pudding pops he sucked
on them like everybody
else you know eats so he didn't stick it in no that's okay okay i don't know
where you're going
but i'm gonna cut you off seven year old because you can get little kids can
say the darndest things
why do some people not like michael jackson we are getting good we are going
for the celebrities huh
let's not say well probably uh because uh he was a good moonwalker you know and
he was uh he was very
famous and you know people like this it's a thing called haters in this world
and we're not haters
right boys and girls no now on the chiron haters that's what the topic of the
show haters yeah and
then now you talk about haters haters haters kids are those who don't like you
when