Name: Rudy & Fancy's Betrayal | Ep 91 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2021-11-15T17:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy & Fancy's Betrayal | Ep 91 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy & Fancy's Betrayal | Ep 91 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-15. Transcript available.

Rudy & Fancy's Betrayal | Ep 91 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots
white dude and an asian dude you two are disgusting
you two are something we're bad friends happy birthday to jules juliana
why do you have to steal the show why do you have to steal the show you can't
just
it can't just be a group thing wait wait stop this is plural bad friends i know
bad friends plural can i make can i make a comment before may i make a comment
real quick
of course it's good to see you number one great to see you had a great time in
mexico with you
i had you know what's so funny yeah the best time i had in mexico was with you
um not on stage okay
we'll talk about in a second right but the third thing if you ever talk to me
like that again i'm
gonna rip your eyes out all right so um i wasn't trying to be steel focus right
i just you know i've
heard you know i get nauseous when i hear the same song over and over again
okay so i try to make
it my own all right let's do it let's do the black version of happy birthday oh
yeah let's do it you
you know the black version happy birthday no no no no the white version is
happy the black version
is happy birthday to look see like doctor oh happy birthday to you happy
birthday jules yeah
you see what i'm saying you feel like bobby yeah and fancy got a cake
oh from porto's favorite okay wait stop stop one last thing could i complain
about one last thing
what's that beautiful cake i love portos right but when i just can i just say
something when i get my
cake can i just when i get my cake right i get it from the vons no we got her a
porto's cake i know
when i get a cake because she's important she's a beautiful young you go
straight to like some sort of
like gas station yeah right aka or cvs where they're not a bakery all right
they're pharmacy we got your
cake i get those cakes she gets the cheapest for you i said the cheapest we got
you we didn't even get
you vons we got you john's i know i know we got you john yeah and the guy the
guy who made the the
who did the did like the naming on it the spelling he had cerebral palsy he
like couldn't do it right
i was dead serious all right so um i'm like your gift is in the mail
what is it how many times stop for a second how many times have i told you that
the gift is in
the mail and the mail always comes and i get you a gift um just one time one
time how about this
bob you said you were going to get me a gift for my birthday which was i forgot
yeah i forgot it
and you said it was in the mail you lied you said the exact same phrase i went
on for the light but
can i say this i'm going through a hard time it was a month ago my birthday i
know
i apologize my guess what the next one
i might not make it i'm gonna make it what i'm gonna make it i know but if you
do make it
all right let me say this yeah two things one we had so much fun in mexico jules
i'm
sad you weren't there because you would have loved it uh and the second show
was actually great
first show was bad second show was great and two so wait and two yeah right
behind you we got a tops
of turtle island amazing and i think it's one of the coolest things i've ever
seen can you guys see
that on camera yep it's our kid show oh yeah it's so cool yeah this is great
top of turtle island and
today's the word is haters and our special guest is black magic doc that's you
black magic doc why does rudy have
hair on her face because she well that's something we wanted to talk to her
about yeah yeah honestly
she has like hair on her face yeah she's well we're all muppet we're all muppet
yeah but there's no
hair here this is what normal why my muppet look like emmanuel lewis you look
like a manual you
100 look like a man yeah that's what it is yeah okay well i guess so well this
this you're too thin
here yeah yeah you know what i mean so if it went this way you know what i mean
like but there's not
enough you know yeah canvas it's just too thin all right so first of all i want
to give rudy my gift
gifts because i got you multiple gifts and the receipts at the bottom in case
you want to take any
of it back i am never included on all of this no problem i'm so excited i went
shopping just for you
because i saw it i said what really is rudy rudy and look what i got you show
the camera show the
camera what is it a black barbie ocean barbie oh it's a barbie that's it's she's
brown from a part
of the ocean how'd you find ocean barbie i ordered ocean barbie for real there's
an ocean one that's
ocean barbie is she dead in the water is that she's she's like on here oh okay
and what is that look
at that a mini little waffle maker that's cute oh yeah and the last thing is
something very just
cool it's tiny in there it's just uh it's a girl thing it's a girl thing it's a
jade stone roller
to make your to keep your face young what because 20 is pushing it a lot of has
one well they're dope
and you keep them in the fridge and it feels good on your skin no they're great
yeah yeah um can i have
yeah i mean you're fine you're black yeah yeah yeah old old uh old red bones
over here so look so
check this out ocean barbie she's it literally says on the back she swam here
she swam here and
it's non-descript over where she came from but look it's a doll line from
recycled ocean-bound
plastic so she was cleaning up plastics while she came here wow isn't that cool
so all the lighters i
feed the dolphins they get made into barbies yeah yeah okay so when people are
like don't litter
in the ocean you're like yeah right we get barbies out of it right i feel like
keep littering is how
i feel that's how i feel about it a hundred percent yeah i'm telling
you to keep littering a little bit but what race is this you think so on the
packaging for some reason
i need to know the race but look what it says on the back what does it say look
what it says what
it says made from recycled ocean that part no scan here for more hey what hey
yeah this is where you
make up a joke can we do it again can i see yeah you know what it says it says
mixed race barbie it
said uh unlike most mixed race barbies this time the dad is white and the mom
is black i love it when
that happens that's what it says the dad is bill burr the dad is either bill
burr robert denaro or uh
gary owen or gary owen for sure gary owen i don't even know who he's dating but
for sure gary owen yeah
so do you like ocean barbie i love it awesome but you like the waffle maker you
like the waffle
maker the most yeah that is you make me a waffle saturday morning or what maybe
oh throw some shade
throw some shade how was hawaii island girl it was good yeah yeah you had fun
in the sun yeah but i
wanted to go to mexico yeah we wanted to be there and by the way you know your
room they paid for a
room for her and everything no and you know what i found out she got the ocean
view i'm not kidding
yeah yeah you got a ocean view room we got the jungle view and no one was in
her room i said can
i switch and they were like no it's for it's for a woman's it's for a female
room yeah i never saw nikki
all week nikki was there for one night oh she was she was there for one i saw
her when she got in
with andrew and then they took off she sang taylor swift and went home but we're
really
appreciative of the people that came out that was really cool it was so much
fun i took a lot of
photos and hugged a lot of people and it was a real um you know people they
would have recognized
you too doc doc they would have loved it yeah they would have loved it and um i
i really believe
rudy i mean jules that you we saved you from a traumatic experience big time
that first show was
traumatic it was it was bad it was chaos but it's okay it's okay no you know
what you know what we're
warriors we're warriors and we stormed right through no we try we well first of
all afterwards the tent
afterwards yeah i have never seen you so sad i mean there was one point where i
was just kind of let
it was hot so i'm just laying there sweating and just figuring out what the
just happened
yeah and i look over to andrew and andrew looked like yeah i had my i had my
head straight down and my
hands on my knees with his hands down like this in between my legs like but it
wasn't like a thinking
man it was more like i killed myself man i killed myself man yeah i mean like
it looked so sad i was
very depressed and i looked at him i go you all right man and you go i'm not i'm
not yeah we let them
down i kept saying we definitely i felt how did y'all figure y'all let them
down what happened just
because we're professionals okay doc the equipment was broken oh it wasn't and
they tried to railroad
us yeah that's right right and we survived we survived right and then in saturday
when we did the
show again right we made sure that that was not going to happen again and it
didn't happen and it
didn't happen it was amazing okay so i'm going to tell you something we
preserved my little man
right my little brown man i love your face buddy right yeah don't you and you
know i love james
baldwin do you love him what does that have to do with that i like james baldwin
too yeah yeah
i like black magic for his name yeah black yeah black magic is amazing i like a
little black hole
a little black hole for me it's a fantasy it's yeah it's not like a sexual
thing it's at all
okay it's more like you know let's just put it this way we don't have to cut
this out oh no all right
we won't but and i honestly i'm going to do this do it and god and if you die
it would be so sad
but if you did okay right right i would go straight to the mortuary okay before
they cremated them
okay and i would go just save the the hole oh the tush not that i don't want
the cheeks just the sleeve
no just the yeah the ring the sleeve is that what you call it well the ring
with the sleeve i don't
want the sleeve just the ring wow yeah yeah i would have said sleeve right i
just want the calamari
part right and they're going to be like well that's weird we'll just we know
because we cremated it
with the rest no i go no cut it out like a pumpkin like carve it out carve it
out like a pumpkin right
is there any way to dry it out so that like oh my god no let's be real okay
yeah i'm being very
real to you hey i'm comfortable they're like dry out now an anal rectum muscle
i go i'll you know
what just give it to me i'll do it at home pete is searching can you dry out an
anus an anus and save
right now you might ask why yeah that was most people right were you asking
yourself why because
i saw your face a little confused right okay it's number one a ring right right
probably will probably go
around probably tight ring cock ring yeah you think pinky pinky you're let me
see you can get it in
there you know how you know you know how they do um rings on sets or whatever
they go they give you
that little the measure the measure right so you're you think the pinky or you
think thumb he's thumb
what i'm whoa that's crazy that's crazy that's you you're double thumb i'm
double you're double thumb
yeah okay double thumb you know what yours is if they did that i thought i was
and i went to a science
class and i put it out and i go what do you think this is and i had it a little
in a little jar
i think the audience that's an elephant's like that's how big it is blue whale
and i'm gonna be
no no blue whale i don't know why i think don't die don't die fyi yeah don't
don't die yeah you know
life is what it is and i'm all right but do you think they would do that or no
i think money buys
everything if you if you go in waving money how much money is you have to ask
the family if i'm gone
family how much family do you have left oh i got a bunch of people in detroit
yeah but we're here
also you have all your the bitches too don't forget don't forget the 20 000
bitches that'll be okay yeah but let's get it let's get an update on your
bitches
can we get some a bitch update
welcome back to kcal evening news we're going to throw it live to doc in the
streets with a
bitch update what up doc hey man sam