Name: Bobby Cries & Rudy Becomes Jules | Ep 99 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2022-01-17T17:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Cries & Rudy Becomes Jules | Ep 99 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Cries & Rudy Becomes Jules | Ep 99 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-17. Transcript available.

Bobby Cries & Rudy Becomes Jules | Ep 99 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
you two are something we're bad friends eric griffin and i ate pizza last night
no i know
you guys ate pizza but then after you ate pizza he ate again with us no no he
had two gigantic
slices of pepperoni and jalapeno pizza and then i go you want more oh no man
good and you didn't
finish yours and he finished yours he finished then mine i know he told me that
well he did yeah
and i go he then he did a yawn yeah well he got oh he went oh i'm so full i'm
so full time right
i go where you going he goes i'm going home yeah he didn't go home he went to
get more tacos well
because i brought up kevin hart last night do you know that you know kevin came
to the store yeah i
heard so i brought up kevin then he was at the like he was at the laugh factor
because spencer wanted me
to go say hi to him at the laugh factor i didn't go and then they showed up the
store at the store i also
i brought him on and the crowd thought i was kidding because he didn't get on
stage for three
minutes i stood with the curtain open for three minutes that's hilarious so
people were laughing
because i kept going like this they thought it was really funny they thought oh
wait somebody got
bumped yeah who got bumped well lisa trigger never showed up no she was
cancelled oh she did yeah
and then it's a couple of gone and then and then yeah and steven fury steven he
got bumped yeah yeah
funny guy though you know what he said in you know what he said in the green
room to kevin hart
did you hear this this is really funny what's it what does steven viewer say
steven goes uh you
don't have a arena you can go play or no did he really swear to god he is so so
funny i love that
dude's so funny but he said it like kind of like i i wasn't right he said it
again to me chris spencer
was like it was very funny yeah but he i guess he said he was like so you don't
uh there's no
there's no scotia bank you can't go do the united center or the right the
crypto.com isn't open
tonight and then he went on and but so so griff stayed watched kevin's set yeah
and then came
outside i was outside with with fahim and aristotle aristotle's in town uh he
told me not to tell you
he told me not to tell you why did he tell you know what that's really weird i'm
gonna call it right
now but he did say don't tell does he hate me i don't think he hates you i don't
know if he likes
you but that's not good but those are two different things i know but i'd
rather be
one or the other i don't want to be in the middle i don't know being in the
middle is kind of fun i
don't like it now you shake it up a little bit no because i then i have to like
prove myself how
about this do you love do you do you like her or hate her rudy i love rudy i
know but you don't
like her i hate her see yeah i hate her so you love her but you hate her yeah
yeah okay i see how
that works all right let's call stott and see why he didn't pick up yeah he's
gonna go hey i'm on
snl now don't put me on the he's been acting real i know i could like like he's
a hot shot i'm gonna
say something i'm gonna ask him something
i watched the beatles documentary by the way it was amazing
i gotta force her to do it your calling oh frick him she's yoko to us 100 oh
she's yoko there's a
scene there's a yoga to everyone there's a scene where they're do you know who
the beatles are
yeah but i don't understand who yoko is bring up a picture of yoko ono yoko ono
literally destroyed
the beatles no he she didn't she made it better oh really her singing is
amazing
come on so yoko ono right there yoko married john lennon yeah and forced uh the
beatles to literally
shatter they were already shattering a bit he said i gotta call you back so he'll
call us back
he's talking to his high-powered agent now dude ever since he went to new york
yeah he's been
different yeah he's he smokes a pipe now oh my god he walks fifth avenue and
smokes a pipe like
moriardi moriardi moriardi moriardi look at moriardi moriardi he's getting a
little too famous yeah a
little too big um no but here's what happens so they explain explain um yoko ono
to her and what yoko
really is so yoko was a an artist yeah he was a street artist from japan
correct she met john in
new york i believe and at some he wandered into some you know means exhibition
somewhere in the
village i'm sure yeah yeah and they met and um she knew who he was but she was
really confident
i think she's i think she's just eclectic is a good word yeah so she did she
probably didn't care
she didn't care so anyway they start dating and she starts showing up at
rehearsals she's everywhere
kind of like you are you yeah to us and then she started giving notes now you
know if the beatles
were if the beatles were let me ask you something if the beatles were like in
their on their first album
yeah that's one thing even still i didn't see it but they had already done
revolver rubber soul i mean
just sergeant pepper i mean they had done everything everything already yeah
like right they were the
beatles at now cut to they have four or five hit records she's in the i don't
like that
not good ball ball ball you don't sing now right john he does triple harmony
right ringo go take nap
right so ring goes has to take a nap and i don't even know where the what's the
other guy's name
george yeah yeah yeah oh george she doesn't know who he is she doesn't even
know who george who
george which one i met you've met him a thousand times he's right he's right
there oh you're george
yeah i'm right here yeah what do you do george what i write the music the i
know how
insane but that's who she was yeah she didn't care and so now you're george and
these guys like
you're in there's a scene where she's reading a newspaper in the middle of
their
shit like a full-on she doesn't give a give a she's with the beatles yeah
imagine you're
sit okay you know what this is to you imagine you start dating one of the guys
in uh what's
the group that you love wonder one direction and you're giving one direction
notes on song
and you're just them off the whole time you're like you're getting harry styles
now
right no give her someone else no you can't get here you can't get here who's
the fifth guy bring up
the guys is there a fifth guy let's see which one jules dude you can't get you
know you're not you're
not leading women yeah yeah you're nuts dude all right bring up the boys no no
i'll pick slow
down i'll fucking slow down left to right can you name them name the boys left
yeah yeah can you zoom
it in i want to know nile that white one okay okay nile zane louis liam harry nile
is left zane louis
liam harry yeah all right so i say i say liam liam is in the the
the the the the the green the green shirt shirt yeah even you yes yeah but what's
what's the brown
one's name that's zane that's zane zane maybe the brown one see the brown one
would look at her
and go i should i should be with you yeah but i can do better yeah he could do
better and i think
he'd leave you for liam or not like the brown one would spit on you the other
whites wouldn't
well the other whites would hit you they would hit you but not spit on you that's
correct yeah because
can i just have harry no you cannot have harry you can't have harry that's
insane i think that
you can get that guy we have harry we have harry yeah yeah okay louis louis in
the middle
no you don't get louis i know that one you don't get that one no you don't get
he's second in command
no which was the ringo which was the ringo of the group i feel like it's the
guy you named yeah you
got the green shirt what's his name again leo yeah you're first and what's his
last name pain he's
yours that's yours he's yours right you can have him by the way now you're we've
already you and i do
have we you and i are sharing harry right right okay but but just for reference
but honestly yeah he
has two tattoos right the upper body says yeah as right and the bottom body
says bl all right so
always remember my territory i know i i'm waist down i'll respect that all
right you respect mine right
and not when i'm in there when i'm in there we're not doing this game it's not
gay it's not sexual or
no it's just buddy stuff can you share no do you share anything with us ever my
food when when when
tacos yeah you're cold you're cold the fucking prop taco bell fucking that's
been here for three
weeks proper bell that you brought up a bell you want us to eat that shit still
you have to share
no anyway you get fucking what i don't know can you remember his name ever pain
pain
you get him so listen here's the deal they did two albums you're not coming in
right they're international superstars you're in the recording studio right
right now we're let's say
now we're one direction we're playing right yeah yeah and then you have to stop
us and correct us
okay all right if you want if you want to be my midnight girl you will always
be my midnight girl
um excuse me sorry yeah um bobby what yeah can you um make your voice a little
bit louder and make it
more um pleasant oh all right sound guy he wants it more louder and pleasant
let's go again one two
three go do you want to be sorry sorry my bad that's okay i didn't say scream
she didn't say scream whose is this calm down it's okay no i'm uh i'm zane i'm
zane oh you're zane yeah
all right all right do you want to be my midnight girl do you want to be my
midnight girl um
you want andrew to sing it zane zane sing it yeah i should have been niall he's
irish yeah yeah not
more lively though you you look angry all the time
imagine imagine i would quit i would have quit that's how the that's how the
album imagine came
that's where the song imagine oh yeah yeah imagine because she was giving notes
and they looked at
each other like can you imagine yeah yeah that we're gonna take notes from this
i know uh okay i'll
sing all right here we go do you want to be my midnight girl do you want to be
my midnight girl
that's better all right i better than me so i'm the lead now yeah can i get one
more shot
okay yeah do you want to be my midnight girl do you want to be my midnight girl
that's pretty good
no still not good enough i get exactly what do you do i want niall to lead oh
oh yeah and now
so what does she do what has she already figured out about what she just pitting
two people against
each other what did she already figure out about what she did to the beatles
exactly yeah yeah she
put a wedge in between these that's exactly what she did that's you don't even
know and you know
exactly what you want to do it so she wedged between the group members they
started to resent each
other therein lies the end of the beatles right so and then you know what you
probably also do is
what's the her boyfriend is who liam liam when liam's not around she says
compliments yeah she goes
up she goes up to other people she goes up to you i think you know you're cute
too you know if i hadn't
met liam you have nice yeah yeah nice yeah and they're like what the maybe some
of them buy it
they get they get a little hard oh i have a nice yeah i have a nice butt and
then that's another wedge and
when they get hard and i walk in and she goes he's hard what happened he's hard
right extra sabotage
right so liam walks back in yeah right yeah well liam's going to the bathroom
let's just start from
before let's start from before right i was like baby i'm gonna go to the
bathroom that's good all right
bye i leave now you say your compliment to him
niall i love your voice so much oh cool thanks um your biceps oh thanks a lot
your biceps are really
good oh really yeah i've been working on them yeah thanks a lot great wonderful
oh the bathroom was
nice oh i've got a boner he has a boner no no no she oh my god because of me no
no no he got a boner
because of you he flirted he flirted with you no i'm finished no i'm finished
no you red
no yeah yeah see what happens wow exactly how it happened very 