Name: We Rented Out Six Flags | Ep 109 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2022-03-28T16:00:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Rented Out Six Flags | Ep 109 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Rented Out Six Flags | Ep 109 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-28. Transcript available.

We Rented Out Six Flags | Ep 109 | Bad Friends

today we are at where are we bob we're at magic mountain we're at magic
mountain six flags because
rudy wanted to go right right rudy rudy yeah are you excited no why no
once you're locked in you're just no way you're gonna be fine you're gonna be
totally fine and
guess what only what do we say like four or five people a year fall out of the
rides or they died
we're part of that but they also said that it's that the deaths are over for
this year they've
already all the people that died on roller coasters already died this year also
because you're on a
roller coaster you get to heaven faster if you have a heart attack you get to
heaven faster yeah so when
you show up to heaven you're like one year you're gonna throw up all over this
ride what does this
say don't eat cheese rolls before going on so we're going to the right place
we want to pay for the teacher and this insurance
so
so
so
the most it was the most fun that was scary that was so scary oh okay
it was fun though right it was kind of fun yeah yeah yeah i told you i don't
like when you're
doing i know but you still it's fine
dude my beanie fell off and i caught it in the air yeah i caught my benny beanie
in the air so then i had
to do a one-armed thing i heard the loudest screams from your cart was it you
yeah yeah yeah oh my god
when it goes upside down and you go you didn't love that oh my god it was so
fun that was so much
where did you go where did you go now which one do we go to now don't try to be
here
oh
oh
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots
look at this i have to fucking hold it look at we paid what did we pay 90 grand
for this thing
look at it dude look at this watch great yeah i know what the fuck this is what
do we pay these
guys a bunch of money and i was like hey man it's not their fucking fault man
yes it is ultima is the
worst in terms of products it's like ghetto stuff can't tell you this is great
oh great this is
great it was carlos's revenge yeah did carlos do this carlos's revenge no i
mean look at this thing
that looks great watch watch this will fall like the mics it'll it'll just
start to go like if your
attitude right now is like no i'm in a good mood um what a day we had i won a
big tiger today i'm so
excited at six flags and all it took was for me to ride five roller coasters
back to back to back to
back to back well i like to talk about and they gave me a tiger right there
next to rudy jewels and
i'd like to name it because it's my tiger and i want to name it noodles noodles
the bengal tiger
all right i'm really into truthisms and i'm oh trithums trism trithums and for
me i have proof
we have right proof right that i won that tiger i'll tell you what happened we're
at matching
mountain today we'll talk about it but um and you know how they have those
games that you can play
is that what they call carnival carnival games let's see it right here carney
games carney games
let's take a look this out you have to throw this is me first try i've never
done this before
right this was unreal unreal look at this here look at this right here oh la
dodgers here i come look
at how excited i am you have no idea what you just did no because i think i
have to do it again
look at me i'm like a child i can't pause it here's the thing yeah bob had no
idea bob thought you have
to hit it you must have to hit it twice right did you think that rudy or do you
think if you hit it
down once you get a prize hit once you get a prize okay because bobby was like
not impressed he
thought you gotta this must be a fluke well no because i've never won anything
ever what do you
mean you won my heart the first time in terms of like carnival games well i've
been to del mar fair
i've been doing so many different carnivals i'm a carnival guy you're a carny
yeah yeah i'm a carny
without the meth i know sometimes with them yeah sometimes with them and then
yeah and um i never
won anything and and also the cameras are on and i'm with man mr man the man
man you no oh because
during the rides you're like my dick's too big for these rides we'll get into
later time out we'll get
into later we'll get into later that your dick is too big for these rides some
of them yeah there
was a couple of black dudes i saw they were fine but both of them came off the
ride like this oh
man that shit hurt yeah so um it was incredible what you did i was and i was
like and but the guy
was stunned yeah so he looked right at me he's like i have to go to the
warehouse now and get the
fucking thing there's an old guy named michael there he is right there let's
show if let's show
a little of them so michael we said
he couldn't believe it oh didn't get it down sad did not get it down
it yeah but michael
michael uh this dude he he was so confused that wang came up and did something
who's wang
you you know in his no no who's where i'm speaking as michael oh all right
right old man white guy
michael was like that you don't look at him he's like wrong angle you know hey
wong you ain't gonna
do nothing over here no check this out our connection he was a prospector
okay and back in the day right he worked with chinese people for the railroads
that's right
right so that's we have that connection going so he's like i'll build you i'll
build you some railroads
chinese man yeah you got dynamite detail go ahead dynamite
so you like him rudy look at how entertained rudy is right there in the
background let's
pinch and zoom that out just out of it yeah let's get me the out of here but
time out let's let's get
away from this let me say first of all congrats that was amazing and we won and
what's the name of the
tiger i don't know um noodles it is no noodles it is dumpling does it have to
be asian well you're
asian and it's a bengal tiger because i'm korean bibimbap bibimbap bibimbap bibimbap
so that's bibimbap all right you've had that before haven't you yeah it's like
rice in a bowl
with oh so i'm going to i'm going to tell people how magical today was now let's
cut to a couple of
years ago three years ago right jules and her um family fancy what what fancy
you don't know her mom
you don't yeah her mom is um you can fart on her face and it's fine and she
likes i've done it
before and she likes it okay so we take these you know to um to disneyland
right and they're too
scared to go on space mountain oh my god it's not even a real it's not even a
ride does it go upside
down pete would know no it doesn't go upside down it just goes straight and and
sometimes it goes a
little bit yeah a little bit it's like walking down a hill going up a hill yeah
you could do that
hiking it's barely hiking right and then we went to a california dream and is
that what it's called
california adventures all right you're an american citizen i'm gonna let you
talk to me that way okay
yeah so um they refuse to go on the guardians of galaxy ride it's too scary for
them is it i don't
like the draw so i was really scared boy oh boy did you get drops today kiddo
so then two days ago i just
decide you know because there was a poo scandal so at our house there was a
piece of poo in the living
room i looked at jules and i said clean it she goes you clean it and we did a
stalemate and it was there
for days and whose poo was it mine that's why she didn't want to clean it it
was my poo no it was one
of my dog's poos i think stubbo could it be stubbo probably stubbo and i picked
it up eventually it was
hard as a rock it was stunk like a motherfucker and um how many days how many
days had passed before
the poop probably three days yeah that pretty seems yeah yeah and i thought i'm
gonna punish her so i go
we're going to magic mountain and and when i said that it was almost as if you
said i said to her pick
up this machine gun you're going to ukraine and it was that her face she was in
i couldn't sleep last
night yeah i slept like at 4am wait why because you were so excited you're
scared scared and so we
made a we made an agreement we said um you have to go at least three rides
right not only did jules
go on three rides she went on four rides four rides we all went only on four
rides and we got the
the fuck out of there did we do four or five we did x2 tatsu viper riddler riddler
that's it right
that's it four rides we did four fucking rides but we did but by the way
because we had the fast pass
we did four rides in like what three hours yeah three hours unbelievable timing
not only did you do
that you did it like a brave of a pro absolute profession and i am so proud of
you i really am let's
give it up for rudy jules let me ask you something jules would you go back
again yeah i'd go back again
you had fun yeah i had fun after the first one okay the first one we did to be
fair bobby bobby and i
did put her on the what is that scariest most intense ride you go upside down
and backwards yeah and
and it swings it swings so it rotates over itself yeah it was it's called x2 x2
x2
sponsored by mountain dew mountain jews x2 yeah and you did that are you a jew
jump on x2
yeah and then we would do i thought the scary was tatsu yeah tatsu this is tatsu
tatsu like the ramen
yeah and this is one of my favorite little little little look at her little
legs are shaking look at
her little rainbow oh that i love panic they hang you up like a piece of
clothing yeah yeah they put you
away away like a shirt in a closet and look at that dude look at it here we go
unnatural honestly yeah
that was the ride bobby said this when we got off you'll agree i bet it was the
one where if an
accident didn't happen did happen it would happen on that ride like it felt
like the the thing that was
holding you in was just just your shoulders well you're you're facing planet
earth yeah you're facing
planet earth beautiful it's beautiful right but not when you're way above it i
mean you know i love
that stuff because i'm a weirdo i know but so when you think if this just detaches
your life is over
imagine if this just clack clack just click just a little too two clack clacks
two clack clacks you're
dead yeah especially the skinny one my sister my little sister said to me yeah
my sister and her
best friend came with us and my sister turned to me and she said this is this
is not going to come
undone right right she got real nervous and i and i said no i promise you it
won't yeah but then there
was a moment in my mind that i thought that's going to be so shitty if she dies
and i promised her
yeah it wouldn't if i said i promise you i love you you're my sister and then
it does and she dies
well that do i tell my parents would i say something i'm going to tell your
parents that
he promised her he promised that she wasn't gonna die she died so you have a
really bad son
bad if she would have died i would have to face her family but you said this
and we talked about
this at the park imagine the rudy bad friend's funeral would be so fun we throw
a party are you
gonna go to the philippines we would have it here i'm not going to that we're
not going to the
philippines but i why why why what what i was born in the philippines yeah but
you live here now
this is the real life this is real this is that's your pre-life you know
because no that's that's
before you started to get to live yeah you weren't living there i want my ashes
to be thrown on the
ocean no we have an ocean right here we have a lake in the philippines let me
tell you something
we throw it hard enough in the pacific ocean it'll get to the philippines
eventually or a river
right that will eventually get into the ocean i got it what we'll spread some
of your ashes here
in california for us we'll put the rest in a little bottle or something and put
it on a boat
to the philippines it'll get there they'll get to do whatever they want with it
but we won't be a part
of it so you'll get there i also would probably relapse i'll relapse and do a
keith richards
i'll mix your ashes with some cocaine and snort it and snort it what okay so
that you're inside me
and that's not weird is that wei