Name: Bobby Has Night Sweats and Brad Pitt Fever Dreams | Ep 110 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2022-04-04T17:17:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Has Night Sweats and Brad Pitt Fever Dreams | Ep 110 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Has Night Sweats and Brad Pitt Fever Dreams | Ep 110 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-04. Transcript available.

Bobby Has Night Sweats and Brad Pitt Fever Dreams | Ep 110 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an asian dude
you two are
disgusting you two are something we're bad friends you know where i am right
now man who are you dog
covid 19 bomb you leave 2022 wuhan dog what's up from the streets of san diego
powerway california
what's up what's up the titans are in the house dog are we gonna keep our mask
on the whole time
rudy no keep your mask off dog yo don't be like herman cain dog herman cain
dude what are you
gonna do rudy you're gonna keep it on i mean i have immunity for like four
months since i got
covid last i know but i don't know about you you can't get it from that
distance dog says who
since fauci brah you know how crazy it is how annoying you and the kalilah were
during the
the whole pandemic you guys were so fucking annoying yeah about fucking
everything yeah yeah yeah and
then now it's like yeah go do the podcast when you got covid it's insane bro i
was working brah what
is this bullshit accent that you've got sorry i'm back all right there i have
covid man tell
everybody tell everybody what's going are we rolling yet or no yeah he was
rolling man and we're
gonna keep all that in dude dude i'm super sick right now man i'm not myself
how stupid is this
that we're doing this episode while you're like this but we waited all week
dude i got first of
all number one dude dude let me talk to you bro yeah i'm listening i'm right
here shaka oh are you
shaka guy now because you bought a house in hawaii shaka dude does everybody
know this have we
talked about this that you guys bought a house in hawaii aloha how big is the
house it's a condo dog
wakaliki wakaliki what the fuck is this thing that you're doing right i'm sorry
man
be you i'm sorry he was listening to tupac and emina oh this is when you do
your rap days
this is when you do your rap days i get influenced by the music i listen to man
all right we'll get okay get it out of your system no get it out of your system
give me be the rap guy
that you want to be go sup sup what's up
i'm good i'm good that's it that's enough so you're not going to be able to do
it then no
i thought for sure you would no so what happened was i was doing um tiger belly
last week or
whatever and gilbert he comes in right he's like doesn't he gives everyone
covid me and kalyla
and dude i was so sick man monday tuesday wednesday i just don't even remember
it it was
a fucking blur bro did you take monoclonal antibodies
well trump took it you know you told me he called bobby called me for the fans
at home
bobby called me and said i want to do the thing that trump did
oh bob you just kicked that camera oh hold on
oh
oopsie
oopsie daisy
i'm sorry dude i haven't left the house in a week
no i know but yeah i know and i'm sick so it's like
i'm just happy that you're sick and we're together
yeah i don't even i think this is a great idea take your mask off
absolutely fucking not fuck you what is your aggro fucking attitude right now
dude because you got
covid and you're dancing around and thinking who cares i know you're still
going out and fucking
around with covid aren't you no no i can't like tonight we were supposed to do
the goddamn comedy
i have to go right did we not i had to cancel that i canceled all week i'd also
had a show at the improv
tonight had to cancel that yeah right i canceled all week bro so no i haven't
been going out have i
been going out no yeah like i fucking believe her this is the fucking first
time yo dog
how come you're just getting into hip-hop now so you're so late it's so late
and you're getting
into hip-hop that's do you know any do you like you know tyler the creator just
won another grammy
for album of the year it was great have you heard that album no what's it
called i don't know i just
said no man you heard it who are you talking to you're talking to who are you
talking to who are you
talking to man i don't like when you challenge me man you're not a good friend
dude i'll tell you
why i'll tell you why because you got you were so free free fiddly diddly you
were so friddly diddly
when the pandemic goes up no i wasn't yeah you're golfing you're hanging out
with your fucking white
friends you're golfing you can be outside you could you could golf you're
hanging out with your white
friends doing fantasy football bullshit at bars i wasn't i don't do fantasy
whatever watching the game
whatever that game is outside we watch it outside whatever you got it right dog
yeah and you know
what i didn't subject i didn't do i didn't subject you to it dude it's we had
to put out a fucking
podcast this is our business right so i'm going and we have to get it done by
tonight we're doing it
so how the fuck are we gonna do it fancy fancy i didn't want to do it i'm
fucking sick i know but
you're doing a great job oh god did you get a fever yeah man i got the whole
thing dude i got night
shivers i started sweating oh my god i had fucking dreams about um do you have
fever dreams
yeah i had a dream about brad pitt and he was just like i'm a big fan of your
comedy and i gave him a
hug and i just started following around this fucking um party and stuff and
then i ran into dove davidov
i knew it was him because he has cross eyes he does and i saw him from a party
i go that's guy
white guy it looks like a fucking you know those pinheads yeah from the fucking
circus back in the day
yeah that's what dove davidov looks like to me and i go what's up and he said
what's up and then um
that's it that was a dream i'm gonna take my jacket off are you on steroids you're
so fucking antsy it's
crazy no i haven't been what the fuck man let's be real dude what's going on i'm
just so upset that
you have covid i know i know what is going on you i feel like you're
criticizing everything i'm saying
every move i'm making every move you make every step you take every single day
every time i pray
bobby i am gay i'm gay okay i wanted to come out and tell you i'm okay you're
okay rudy how's the
house been with with all these covid patients dude don't do that what's up why
are you coughing out
just coughing your shirt if you're gonna cough this is such a bad idea to do
this episode no it's not
it's going great he's coughing out loud it's going it's going great whose mic
is that docs that'll be
good yeah yeah oh man bob you all got me sick again yeah when he comes back he's
gonna be sick how's
it been at the covid ward house when i found out about it i was kind of happy
that they got it yes
because i was a little happy too because it's what you'd get for talking to
everyone else right
yeah isn't that nice air high five but bobby has been really dramatic oh no in
what way you
ungrateful bitch don't don't we're not doing that today you ungrateful in what
way come
on that i just have to do everything because he keeps um making excuses that he's
so sick he can't
move he can't do anything yeah to do all of it that's right so listen yeah i
want to tell you
how happy i am that you've graduated to like a car guy now do you want to tell
everybody what you did
this week and what i helped you do come on so here's the deal i have never had
a nice car
ever correct right i've always had priuses ask anyone at the comedy store
parking lot guys
for the last 30 years i've just the hood is off the windows broken they're
always worth about five
grand ten grand max max right and um i liked it i smoked in it i in my car like
literally
shit yeah right ip i put burritos all over the place pepperonis all kinds of
stuff and um i always
just used a car just to transport me from one place to another you know how
cars do sure they
transport you yeah the minimal the minimal you just want here to here it doesn't
everything else
doesn't matter but i quit smoking and i look at your fancy cars and i went man
i should give myself a you know a nice thing so i bought it i bought a an audi
sportsback a5 standard
um but i matted it we got it matted black matted and tinted the windows looks
pretty dope it looks
real nice so sexy sexy and now do you feel a little bit more special do i
looked like when i was driving
today pretty fucking special yeah a lot of people were looking at the car they
look at it yeah well she got
coffee and i stood outside my car and leaned against it like james dean oh wow
james dean does and i
crossed my legs like this so you lean and cross your legs and i pretended i had
a cigarette i was
gonna say do we can we get you candy cigarettes maybe yeah yeah and i was and
and this kid from t-mobile
came up and he goes that's still around huh i don't know what even what t-mobile
is is that
it's like pet boys did it's a cell phone oh it is oh i have no idea the only
person that we know that
has it is eric griffin yeah literally are you being real yeah that's just
because cricket went out of
business um shut up tito yeah so um then i asked you who you know that could
mad it and you said um i said
this guy i got the guy and he's amazing he's incredible he really is amazing
his place the
place looks really nice i mean if you look around there's like old like rolls
royces he's fixing up
and porsches so that's that that i got him from tommy segura segura gave me his
information because
he's done all his cars for him oh wow and he was like anything you need this
guy can do literally
anything yeah yeah he's hand rebuilt cars they'll rebuild them from nothing
yeah he's my guy for life
isn't that wild to think that so we have no skill like that we have zero skills
outside of being
funny you have more skills outside of being name any skill you have outside of
funny go i can tell
you the difference between good sunflower seeds and bad sunflower seeds i'll
tell you how do you know
what's the giveaway it's the christmas of the shell right what the nut tastes
like you know what i mean
sometimes the nut is chewy that's not good it's stale you like you like you
like hard nuts
i love i've had if you're going to be in my mouth so i know nuts more than you
do what does a ball
taste like if you put a man's testicle in your mouth it's like a dried squid oh
okay yeah they
take a dried squid dip it in water right kind of like that texture don't look
at her you better not
know what balls in your mouth you know what happened to her she was on a date
when last week just let me
finish she went on a date i'm not gonna say his name he's cute none of the guys
that she hangs out
with that she dates right what does that mean why do you why'd you do this
because dating to me implies that he's trying to woo her and court her and go
to movies and
dinners there's a couple of dudes she dates that's not that what does that mean
rudy explain it that
we just
fuck i don't like i don't like it either it's so disgusting as your tito okay
as your as
papa santino i just we're not going to talk about anymore just tell me you're
being safe yes okay that's
all i want to know you never raw dog no okay i try to say it's so nice i was
like are you being
responsible he's like do you ever get smashed out raw dick okay you get raw
dick down so but
none of these guys knows who she lives with what she does any of it some of
them have to know no they
don't you're saying not one guy you've been on a date with knows that you're on
the show no but so
this is the fun how do you meet them online there's no way they don't look at
your instagram
i have another instagram so she she has two right her regular one which has no
followers and a bad
friend the bad friend rudy has a hundred thousand but she doesn't tell people
about that she's ashamed
of it are you really ashamed of the show i just don't want them to know because
i don't want i don't
know it's weird you're like proud of this thing that we built i am i just don't
want them to know
immediately so anyway that is that's shame she's ashamed of mom and dad she is
all right go ahead
so anyway what so this kid doesn't know i have any so they're at in and out
right yeah chick-fil-a
chick-fil-a and um sorry so good so good what sa