Name: Pregnancy Scare & Texas Lovin' | Ep 111 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2022-04-11T16:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pregnancy Scare & Texas Lovin' | Ep 111 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pregnancy Scare & Texas Lovin' | Ep 111 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-11. Transcript available.

Pregnancy Scare & Texas Lovin' | Ep 111 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are
disgusting well you two are something we're bad friends deep in the heart of texas
you know the whole song please don't shoot me the stars shine bright if you're
big at night
deep in the heart of texas bro i'm telling you right now that 50th anniversary
comedy store it was good
to see you last night by the way it was really fun well they couldn't he couldn't
have been there
they were we were partying in the parking lot oh yeah yeah well he was there
because i took a photo
with him so you know did you go no yeah you were dude i took a photo with you
last night man you
did let me see this photo bobby what's up willie tyler hello doc you didn't say
anything
you said that look you're that look like that magical black look that you have
why didn't you
say anything to bobby you know bobby so well yeah yeah why were you sitting on
his lap that was the
weird part i tell you something doc yeah you look you came in here doc the
first thing he said when
you guys weren't here he goes man i gotta lose some weight you know i'm fat
this picture you look
so thin yeah overnight what you have in and out what happened last night okay
it was good to see
you last night man it was really a pleasure well the reason i'm wearing my
cowboy hat is because
we're going to texas this week and i'm excited we're going to be in austin and
we're going to
and i'm going to be in dallas and i've got black bart has a hat for that's a
hat for black bar
a little hat for black bar over there man god damn i love hats and i got one
for doc willis
there you go doc i so appreciate you and i got a gun here no no no no no no no
man and rudy jewels
look at that you got a little what you're doing around here red you got a
little dude you're right
what you're doing right does it shoot don't i don't think it's loaded oh but
don't keep doing
it don't try yeah yeah yeah and then look on andre has hey he's got oh oh two
black mouth
wow wow you're not going to be able to wear the headphones on the top of that
yeah well i'm
keeping my hat on i like it why you don't be black part i like head i like
headphones all right put on
the headphones then yeah i think we look good in our cowboy hats yeah hi rude
hi to andrew how's it
going i'm good you feel good yeah i've never been to texas you really wait wait
what states have you
been in in the united states um just here you're california california well you've
never been you
know hawaii is a part of the oh yeah hawaii yeah so you went to hawaii here new
york never never
i want to go to new york wait you let's see let's take her to new york you went
to washington oh yeah
wait a minute didn't you go to another place together did you go to arizona
with him no he's
never that was just you and your brother yeah so you've only been to hawaii washington
california
let's name off the places that you want to go to because we can make it happen
let's go make it
happen yeah we're going to go to texas this week what's what's something to do
in texas oh got a lot
there's a lot to do there's a lot you can ramble can we go to strip club you
want to go to a strip
club yeah do you want to go should we go to titty bar in austin yeah wait why
couldn't we go we can
take her a booby bar no but it's it's a it's a uh look at that we can go to palazio
gentlemen's
club or oh the bear cabaret in austin i heard that's a good one yeah look and
look at the review
for the bear look at what it says go up felt like a nightclub with a cool vibe
rather than a strip club
i like cool vibes i love nightclub so that's cool and then uh ecstasy cabaret
austin says sucks to
say it but ecstasy is a slumbag strip joint now that's the one that's where we're
gonna shoot
together yeah that's where we want to go well you know texas was a place where
i would purposely back
in the day when i was single would want to go to at least dallas and houston
because i used to go to
a place called treasures that's in dallas right houston oh and there was a
place in dallas called baby
dolls oh baby doll oh i love it but now are there doll other little tiny dolls
in the room all over
the room yeah it's an american girl store you know i love america there's baby
dolls grab a drink with
the 60 saloon ladies check out our new kitchen daily buffet friday hey dude
that's that you know
that's the best part about strip clubs people go just for the food yeah they're
known to have the
best buffets roast beef the roast beef during the day yeah at a strip club and
ham two big big big
ham yeah yeah but why do you want to eat when there's like women what do you
mean what do you
want to eat when there's women you're a woman i eat we eat in front of you yeah
yeah yeah all the time
that's weird why is it weird we've been to jersey mike's together right yeah
why would it be weird to
eat at a strip club why do you think that's strange like being full and like no
but will you know they
the girls can't eat no you don't feed them you don't feed them it's not a zoo
no you don't it's not a
petting zoo like like fucking meat at them she thinks you like turn you like
turn a dial a piece
of chicken falls out you just throw it at them yeah yeah the reason why you eat
at strip club because
usually a woman's vagina it's like wine it's like wine right so if you're
having like um a fish
right it depends on what kind of vagina it is sometimes it's two fishes don't
make a good meal
that's exactly right right so sometimes like you'll have a fish and you look at
the vagina and it's like
it's got like a a nutty you know a nutty you're deep nutty you know what i mean
what do you mean i don't know explain what what i explain no it's got an oaky
oh yeah yeah nutty
nutty oaky yeah yeah how are the how are the tannins the tannins are beautiful
they're
yeah yeah and it's like sometimes you use cheese sometimes they have the cheese
a lot of yeah yeah a
lot of you well we're going to take you to strip club not drinking today huh
doc well you know
i i'll tell you yeah tell me you know you you just got a rehab right so i was
saying to myself
well he's being mindful i just felt like like i was putting pressure on you
coming in and drinking
that's why he was getting on me drink drink wasn't his big problem it was yeah
dick it was yeah yeah
he would get drunk on your dick i had a problem with so it didn't it didn't
bother you at all when
i was drinking no do you have something in your back you're goddamn right
i don't care about you though that's why it doesn't bother me if you're smoking
weed in here
it'd be blue that'd be weird oh okay yeah yeah but drink up all right dog i
just wanted to get
some validation yeah all right so i need to tell bobby this while you while you
get your look your
flask on i get it i get a text message this morning yeah i want to read it to
you tell me this
doesn't sound a little distressed okay from who from this from uh black magic
okay no no no dog
dog the text message you said here listen to this he goes hey tino are you
available to talk anytime
soon because i need to tell you something very very two varies yeah important
yeah i'm at work lunch
break right now till 11 30 then i'm back at work at 3 30. when you hear very i
need to talk to you
something very very important was that yesterday today this morning so
immediately my brain goes to
is doc okay did something happen uh-huh right tell him what you told me i call
him immediately go doc
are you all right first thing's out of my mouth doc are you okay what'd you say
i told him well look
man i had was telling them that they i read some ufo shit so you know he's on
some he's on some ufo
you just made this yes that's it he sent me this what did i say it says you
might be an alien baby bobby
oh that's it number one no and then you go which is rude don't ever call me
baby bobby again
hey hey yeah baby bobby new nickname baby bobby all right ufos left radiation
burns and unaccounted
unaccounted for pregnancies new pentagon report claims yeah the pentagon report
claim you will
show that we'll show the article you and my brother should get together yeah
dude he he he he called he's
at work on his lunch break telling me about these articles you're panicked yeah
because i was going
on and i was trying to see what the news different news sightings was talking
about right yeah so i
went on youtube and then so you know there's a war in ukraine i mean there are
other things you can
anyway okay no but you're on earth bobby yeah it's about to go down hey man
hold up something is
popping off so when i watched the news clippings they didn't mention the pregnancies
and i go what but
they remember they mentioned the right you know the radiation burns one of the
two was mentioned
uh-huh yeah so i said what the yeah so i go in and under the comments somebody
asked where can you
get the paperwork so i was like oh let me show them where they can get the
paperwork so the
website to the defense intelligence so he goes on dia he goes on the defense
intelligence website
and i copy paste it and i put it under the comments so i said okay i'm waiting
for somebody
the response and then it deletes it this is on a what you you posted this on
facebook on youtube on
youtube this is on youtube on youtube yep under the fox san francisco station
that's where they
showed it right so they deleted it honestly that's where i get all my news for
real all my news no
i'm about to say man this is the article i thought i was connected with you so
this guy sees the article
about the prick but the but the pregnancies the on account of our pregnancies
yeah they disappear
from the defense intelligence agency's website it's gone okay we have this link
look this was the
link for the dia yeah if you scroll down it used to say it right at the bottom
okay right there i have
a theory and wait time out though okay go ahead and i said well to him i go
that's crazy doc
but are you okay honestly i was like are you okay because he called he's at
work i'm thinking he's
on spice like he's freaking out at work about aliens right i'm like he's smoke
he's smoking something
oh so the initial text was i have something very very very important very very
two varies
because i wanted to talk about it on a thing so i didn't want to get in trouble
but that text reads
like hey man something happened doesn't it personally if i said rudy something's
very very important
that's what you're saying what's going on yeah okay that's very very important
is this okay i
have cancer that's very very very very right yeah very important is i got in a
car accident or you
killed someone or you killed yeah very very various that's three various is
that three various or two
various yeah that's two various what's three various i have very very very andres
uh he texted me
something's very very very important i know yeah he's dismembered someone he
needs me to hide the
bodies right yeah killing someone is fine but dismembering that's very very
very important
yeah okay so that's the very very important so that's number one that's it you
know so don't do
that again don't do that again hey i didn't know i worried with you my bad but
i was scared in the
moment you worried me because because and you're also in a panic on the phone
call dude i wish i
recorded the phone call yeah he was he was he was like not you know and they
hiding it from us i don't
know what they be hiding but man it came down on the website and i was like doc
what who's hiding what
from you he's like the pregnancies tino are gone yeah okay do you have a theory
yeah no i think
he's out of his mind yeah number one you're out of your mind don't do this you
know what you are
you're very very very out of your mind dia says sorry no search result for
practice all right listen
here's a theory all right all right i'm working for the government right for
that website right right
i bring my cousin larry because he's in town right cousin larry you know he
jus