Name: The Rock's Oscar | Ep 123 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2022-07-05T16:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Rock's Oscar | Ep 123 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Rock's Oscar | Ep 123 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-05. Transcript available.

The Rock's Oscar | Ep 123 | Bad Friends

Hey guys, the Moment House live episode we did is only around for a couple more
days.
A couple more days. You can go to momenthouse.com slash bad friends,
momenthouse.com slash bad friends. You can see the live episode we did.
And look on, look the review. People loved it.
It was amazing.
It's one of our best episodes of all time.
Thousands and thousands of people loved it.
If you don't watch it now, can they watch it again?
If you watched it originally, you can replay it as many times because if you
buy it, you can rewatch it.
Yeah.
And it's only available for a couple more days. I think maybe till the end of
the week.
Yeah.
But go to momenthouse.com slash bad friends.
The link is in the description below.
Watch the live so we can do more of those lives because we had so much fun.
Doc, doc, we're going to give you a vaccine so you don't get sick anymore, doc.
Oh, my mom's here.
How much do you sell a gram of crackful?
Don't come up, mashisaw. Don't come up, mashisaw. Don't come up, mashisaw. Don't
come up, mashisaw. Don't come up, mashisaw. You two are bad friends. Who are
these two idiots?
I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad
friends.
Announcement. Welcome to another episode of Bad Friends. We had a schedule. You
know, we have a schedule. We book, you know, people that do our podcast, it's
kind of like, not a big deal, but you know.
It's a big deal.
It's a big deal.
Yeah, it's a big deal.
You know, we give them a platform, right? We don't have a lot of people come on.
Speaking of a guy that definitely needs platforms.
Right. Figuratively.
Literally.
Yeah.
Doc Willis decided once again to not show up.
He's booked today, 10 minutes before we're shooting. He's sick, not with COVID,
but with a mysterious illness.
Because Fancy, what did he say?
Allegedly, he ate something.
Bad.
So we took him to a fancy restaurant. This is who Doc Willis is. In San Diego,
like a steakhouse.
High-end steakhouse.
10 steakhouse, right?
Yes. On the same night that of my show where he did 35 minutes.
Exactly.
When he was supposed to do 10.
Maybe seven.
Five-end.
Seven minutes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we just found out that he snuck away from the steakhouse and went to 7-Eleven
and got
their taquitos.
Taquitos.
Taquitos.
Right. And those are like 45 cents.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Meanwhile, we bought him an $85 steak.
$85 T-bone steak.
Right. So he's sick with stomach flu or something.
Yeah. No. So he says.
He eats terribly.
Do you believe it? Do you believe that he's sick?
I, well.
Because I got to tell you something.
Oh, come on, Drew. You know I'm sick.
He's alcohol poisoning sick.
Yeah. Oh, from wine.
Yeah. Yeah.
Let's see if he's got to say something for himself.
Let's get mad. Be mad.
Let's drill him.
All right. You call him now. Now you call him. Now if you call him consecutively,
now
he'll know like something's up.
Okay. I know, but if he picks up with me, would you be mad or not?
Yeah. You got to drill him. Oh, would I be upset that he picked up for you?
Yeah.
No, because he's probably not wanting to answer, but then he sees if we both
called, he thinks
something's going on.
Okay. Here we go.
Well, let's leave him a message. A harsh one.
Okay. Good. Yeah.
But I feel like I'm going to go hard and then you're going to back off.
No, I'm not.
And it's going to make me look like an asshole.
No, I'm not. I'm going to go hard too.
But you want me to open though?
Yes.
You're calling.
Okay.
What's up, fam?
Leave a voicemail.
Here's Doc Willis. Just leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as
possible.
You know, Doc, a couple of years ago when I was doing this podcast with Andrew,
I thought,
you know what, dude? You popped into my head. I'm like, I'm going to help this
fucking guy
out, man. I'm going to put him on my popular fucking podcast and I want to
resurrect or whatever.
You know what I mean?
And we've done you a fucking favor, dude.
We put you on our podcast and your family.
And let me say something to you, man.
You fucking betray us, bro.
Bro, when we book you, right?
Please fucking show up, man.
You would show up to Amazon or whatever that fucking warehouse that you fucking
work at.
You would show up for like your fucking fat, fat pussy, right?
What?
You know, right?
You would show up to a liquor store if they were going to close at two in the
fucking morning,
dude.
What?
Your little tummy hurts, bro.
You fucking fuck ass face.
Hey, buddy.
I hope you're getting better.
Get well soon.
We'll see you soon.
Love you, bro.
I mean, we gave it to him.
We hammered that guy.
I'm telling you, we gave that guy something to think about, bro.
Let me tell you something.
Dude, that was not a joke.
He's going to remember that now for the rest of the time.
I have to call him back now.
What are you talking about?
I have to call him back now.
No, we hammered him.
No, no, no.
You didn't.
I look like an asshole.
No, no, no.
You said that you would fucking do it with me.
Dude, you were beating him up.
And then I came in at the end.
Oh, good cop, bad cop.
Yes.
No.
Yeah, yeah.
Because we're not police officers.
Isn't that crime?
Well, they defunded us.
But I got to tell you, we manhandled him right there.
No, no, no.
This was like, he was Rodney King.
I was the guy hitting him, right?
And you're at the fucking-
I drove back to the station.
Yeah, you're back at the station.
I was already at the station.
Narking on us.
Well, because I was like, what they're doing is wrong.
I don't like what's going on out there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I got to call him back.
That's fucking bullshit, dude.
Oh, you want me to hammer him now?
Yeah, hammer him.
Okay.
I'm going to give it to him now.
He's going to answer on this at this point.
No, I'm just going to apologize.
You don't have to hammer him.
No, we should hammer him again.
No, no.
Because you're going to open it?
You want-
No, you go ahead and do what you have to do.
Do what you think is right.
I don't know why you think you need to call him back.
I think we got-
No, I know because the thing is, I sound like an asshole.
No, you don't.
I think he's going to feel literally bad about it.
He's probably going to watch the episode and know that you're just teasing.
But you should leave a heartfelt, real message.
Hammer him up top?
No, no.
I already hammered.
You reached Doc Willis.
I leave a message and I'll get back to you.
We're going to be so sad if we find out he's dying.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, I'm sorry.
You know, that was a little too far.
I hope your little belly feels better.
And, you know, if you need anything, I'm busy, but I can suggest Pepto-Bismol,
Imodium AD.
Call me.
If you need anything, you can call me.
And Andrew wants to say something.
You're fired.
Get better, Doc Willis.
We hope he's better.
The guys literally had COVID more times than I thought you could get COVID.
Yeah.
I didn't think you could get it more than four times.
I'm not joking.
I've never even heard that.
I read an article about that.
I don't think you can.
How many times?
What's the max amount of time somebody's gotten COVID for real?
Yeah.
Because honestly, I bet you the ceiling is like three and they're like, after
that, you didn't get it again.
Yeah.
You can get COVID up to, what?
People have.
Yeah.
Multiple times.
Yeah.
What's the most times people have gotten COVID?
What's the most, the most somebody's gotten COVID?
I just, I was on the phone with Joe DeRosa.
He, he.
43.
43 is not real.
That's not real.
That's not real.
Somebody said positive 43 times.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
But yeah, that's not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that's still a lot.
Dave.
That's a lot of positivity.
He's driving this.
Look at him.
And he's still smiling.
He lost an eye because of it.
Yeah.
Look at him.
Poor guy.
Yeah.
Go down a little bit and let me see what it says there.
Dave 72 is a driving instructor and a musician who spent the last 10 months
with an active
coronavirus infection visiting hospitals seven times.
His immune system was vulnerable to the virus after leukemia diagnosis and chemothecrate.
So he's sick.
This is sad.
This is sad.
So he just had, he just tested 72 times in one gigantic COVID.
I think he just did it like, he probably did like 41 day and then 32 the other
day.
Right.
He just kept testing over and over.
Oh my God.
Bobby Lee.
Bobby Lee.
What?
Top Gun.
You saw it?
Let, let me say this.
Top Gun.
Yeah.
Not kidding.
The best movie I've seen.
Action movie I've seen in years.
In years.
I told you, right?
No, I know.
But dude.
It's so good.
No, beyond.
Yeah.
And Miles Teller.
Fucking amazing.
You're cemented forever as one of the best actors to ever live.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The kid is done.
He did it.
Yeah.
He could quit now and be fine.
And after Fantastic Four Stick.
I mean, he was in Fantastic Four Stick.
One of the worst movies.
Yeah.
But what else would he even was good?
Whiplash.
Phenomenal.
Amazing.
Guy hit it out of the park.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very talented guy.
But yeah.
Top Gun was, Top Gun was so good.
Yeah.
That I'm not kidding.
I did this during some of the performances.
Yeah.
Get him!
Shoot him!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude, it was the dog fights.
I was just so locked in.
Because you know, I always go to the fancy one.
So I do the chair thing.
Me too.
Right.
I go to the chair and I go lean back, right?
For Top Gun, I didn't lean it back.
You lean forward.
And I was leaning forward like this.
The whole time.
Yeah.
That's so dope.
And if Tom Cruise's dick was right here, dude.
Yeah, I would have sucked it.
Did he?
What is this?
I want to be a Scientologist.
What are you doing?
Why are we playing this in the middle of a thing?
Hold on.
Hold on.
Oh, fancy.
Can we do this conversation and you do the clip?
Fancy is on the same.
He is going to get fired.
Yeah.
What is going on with you guys?
All right.
I don't know.
No, let me say this.
Tom Cruise, I am dead serious.
I will join Scientology.
I will join Scientology.
Did he do a welcome thing in your movie?
Yes.
And it made me smile.
Yeah.
And we all cheered.
The theater literally cheered.
I've never seen that before.
Well, hello, I'm Tom Cruise.
He goes, hey.
Hey.
We did this for you.
This is all for you.
And I got to tell you.
And I went, me?
Everyone clapped.
Right?
I went, me.
Me.
Tom Cruise, me.
Yeah, for me.
Everyone clapped in the theater.
Literally.
People were like, yeah, Tom.
Yeah.
He's the last movie star.
He's the last.
He's one of the last movies.
He's the last action star.
Sorry.
He is the last action star.
Because if Daniel Craig is done with Dub 7, then that's it.
Yeah.
He really is the last one.
Because The Rock doesn't count anymore.
The Rock is bigger than, he's like a, I don't know.
He's like Amazon.
He's too big now.
The Rock is the biggest.
He's a movie star.
But not an action star anymore.
He's an action star.
No, because now when you see The Rock in action movies,
they're always kitschy.
Like Dark Shazam or whatever that movie is.
Yeah, they're always kitschy.
What's that called?
Dark Shazam.
Black Adam.
What?
Black Adam.
Oh, sorry.
That was the alternative name for Black Adam was Dark Shazam.
I literally thought it was Dark Shazam.
The studio was like, should we call it Dark Shazam?
Yeah.
Is that what's called Black Adam?
This is the problem.
This is the problem.
Yeah, yeah.
I had a friend growing up named Black Adam.
This is the problem with this.
When you see The Rock in films, you only see The Rock.
That's true.
He doesn't transform anymore.
Yeah.
Tom Cruise still was Maverick in that fucking movie.
Yeah.
When you saw it, you were like, Mav is back.
Like when I look at it, I go, is that Ethan Hunt?
I don't think that.
I don't think that.
But when The Rock's on, I go, that's The Rock.
That's The Rock.
I don't care if he's a lawyer.
He's a rock.
But he's not a lawyer because a lawyer never looks like that.
That's insane.
But doesn't he do some serious movies or no?
He's never done like a lawyer thing or-
Well, every time he does like one of these buddy comedies with Kevin Hart or
whatever,
they do have li