Name: Steve-O’s B-Hole Beauty Pageant | Ep 124 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2022-07-11T16:00:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Steve-O’s B-Hole Beauty Pageant | Ep 124 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Steve-O’s B-Hole Beauty Pageant | Ep 124 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-11. Transcript available.

Steve-O’s B-Hole Beauty Pageant | Ep 124 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
well you two are something we're bad friends what's up bro are you flipping it
inside out man
what happened why'd you have to flip it i i just realized as i walked here
oh you didn't know it was inside out oh i like it now we're there hello hi
hello hello okay so funny yeah dude
yo you have pretty good feet huh you don't like your feet ah i don't feel
strongly one way or the
other oh about your feet you haven't yeah i feel like you're being mean to them
those are pretty normal feet you have fucking you have such ugly feet dude yeah
so don't comment
about other people's feet i want this to come towards me george george get on
it start spreading
the news steve-o is here you don't like that chair dude so when do we start
yeah can i tell my story
i have a story i want to tell about nah we already started oh yeah this is how
we start this is how
we start yeah yeah all right how can we do this um what can we all tell stories
can we all talk you
know when we talk can we all talk yeah because i don't like what you just did
what i just do you
guys completely ignored me who the are you talking to oh we didn't do he was
talking then you interrupted
him and you wanted to tell a story and nobody gave a about your story he had to
finish what he was
saying he don't do it why did you do a pause i i already forgot i'm i'm i know
quite what i'm quite
exhausted what'd you do today yeah um i just was in the edit bay all day whoa
for your own yeah yeah
movie what is it no no i was working on a youtube video called my 10 craziest
arrests
oh that's right yeah top 10 not not all how many times have you been arrested
uh i mean really
probably about 14 maybe it's the 12 to 14 times you've been arrested yeah how
many times you've
been arrested none zero zero no you've been arrested yeah for what urinating in
public
and then disorderly conduct fighting getting we got a bunch of people got
arrested for being in a fight
it's college oh i see i wasn't i didn't get arrested for anything real maybe
well i bit about that i bit
a bat you got arrested for biting a bat or you just want to talk about biting a
bat no i i got arrested
for biting a bat how what are you i started the coven anyway i just remembered
one yeah i mean it was
rather insignificant but it technically counted as an arrest i was driving in
beverly hills
uh with expired tags a broken windshield you know my license was suspended
which meant i had no insurance
and when the cop you know sort of took inventory of what was happening he said
there's too much
going on wrong here so it's actually not a traffic situation this is a criminal
matter and i technically
have to arrest you but um but i like you so i called the um you know the police
station whatever and and
they they gave me permission to to to release you but i'm giving you your court
summons is technically
you're being arrested but but he recognized you from jackass perhaps yeah it
was a catch and release
situation and uh so he said but but i can't let you drive home from here he
says i'm gonna have to tow
your car and uh call you a cab okay so he called me a cab and i'll never forget
i was in the cabin and
i just looked at that car as the cab pulled away and just waved goodbye to it
because i knew that i was
not going to bother trying to get it back from yeah i just like you said
goodbye to the car i let the
tow yard keep the car yeah and the sad thing about that was that my my clown uh
i was a professional
clown before that and uh it had like my my juggling torches and those are
expensive because him and i you
know we went to the juggling torch store and the high-end ones are very
expensive seven or eight grand yeah
yeah yeah i don't know about seven or eight grand but uh well we go to a nice
titanium titanium right
out of alloys right but uh yeah my my clown wig from uh ringling brothers and
barnum and bailey clown
college and it's it's probably still in the trunk of that goddamn car yeah yeah
fuck probably a waste
of money going to the college but it was actually free you went to count call
where you had a scholarship
full ride full ride full ride well i mean now i was living with my sister in albuquerque
new mexico yeah
and she wasn't very thrilled about this i was an alcoholic i was a slob i was
uh unemployed and broke
eating all of her food making the house a mess and um she was taking a shit at
work when reading a book of
trivia on the while taking a shit she came across a question it said what is
the only college that has
no tuition just free to go to yeah and the answer was ringling brothers and
barnum and bailey clown
college has no tuition if you can get it was very difficult to get in ah now
that the the cool thing is
they do charge you for what was called your uh uh uh materials your future for
making your costume
your costume cost cost like uh some two thousand dollars that you had to but
but they waived my
my uh costume fee so i did go to clone college on a scholarship why did they
wave your fee you think
because uh because you were so good oh no wait that's my actual class right
there the the the one
yeah the big shoe review that one uh are you in the poster uh i i'm i'm sure i
rank it oh god damn it
is that you you you you in there okay i'm top right that's right the one with
the white the white wig
that looks kind of like nikki six's hair yeah that's me and that's me above you
yeah actually that that
the guy above me didn't speak english he was from mexico city but he was
incredibly talented oh really
well what makes him he went he giggled good yeah what makes him talented you're
being real
diminutive what you're being real fucking diminutive about you don't know about
clown college
you think no i'm asking i don't know what's the talent of clown college it's it's
a very subjective
art and um i think that i think that this guy was uh just compelling in his
mannerisms right
do you think i could have gone to call it clown i think that you would have
been a fantastic clown no
yeah dude one of the best probably oh yeah dude i would be like bro i would be
the michael jordan
of clown college there's never been a famous asian clown and there never will
do you know why
because we have strict parents no no no yeah yeah no imagine this can you
google it's all
in the eyes with clowning wow dude look at that oh i see i see see dude it
really was me
that is you that is me dude um can you look up famous asian clown
there's never been my dude yeah it's all in the eyes dude yeah if you say the i
think yeah but i'm
serious look at all the expression give me the asian clown dude dude is that an
asian clown dude we
look dope bro absolutely an asian dude that's dope honka honka
there's no chance there was a famous asian there's another one there's two of
others we we never said
there was not the most disappointed asian there was an asian clown there's no
famous asian
i see i see just never they never made it so i have a resentment towards you
can i
oh yeah i would love that real real this is not even sure you're not around i'm
not even
around all right this is real and this is so up what you did maybe maybe we can
clear away some
wreckage in front of my past that's what i'm doing right now and it's a recent
thing so it's a recent
thing i welcome the opportunity okay good thank you thank you thank you so i'm
hanging out with my
friend gene late at night we went to see the movie um top gun okay okay you
look at it and i've only
heard positive reviews and we loved it so good i would be highly suggested so
um it's late at night
it's probably 11 30 and um steve-o never texts me he never texts me well i gave
up on texting you a
long time ago because you never respond correct okay and and i i've long had a
resentment towards
you for that and i'm willing to listen to your resentment and i'd love to
address that as well
right i mean we have we have and we all right so let's let's let me just finish
mine though yeah
let me finish mine right yeah so um i need to talk to you no no no i said are
you up okay are you up
much less urgent to turn you up okay mind you mind you are you up right at
midnight when somebody
doesn't text you for years is alarming okay is it not wait wait what's it said
are you up yeah what
time of night was it midnight yeah he's just being like yo did you get out of a
show are you hanging
out that i wouldn't do it so he would never what okay because here's because
that would that would just
let me say that would mean right if you text me a minute are you up that means
you need to talk about
something yeah okay right so that doesn't mean it's the end of the world i just
want to ask you
something i want to talk to you all right but to me i'm worried okay right are
you up oh
fuck steve something's going on right so i'm driving and just hear me out right
ask gene i was frantic i
i gotta call steve right now so i call steve he did call right away i called
right away because
when you text me like what's up dude you want to go skate or whatever like that
i won't text you back
but are you up i text back because i'm concerned i love you i mean you called
yeah i love you well
that means a lot to me and he goes dude let me just try to you know i mean yeah
dude um you know johnny
knoxville like of course i know johnny i mean i don't know him personally you
know what i mean
well you know he doesn't have a website or something like that right something
like that well right
but i i just let me finish let me just i thought i just texted you the link
i know i know oh what see there's so funny like you're so inaccurately telling
the story
and then when he corrects you go let me finish let me finish
you're getting it wrong right right right and then he's correcting and you're
like can i please tell the
story it was a big deal to me yeah that uh i mean this is over a year ago uh
well maybe closer to two
years ago uh my my buddy um who i work with out of curiosity he he wanted to
see if the jackass guys
had merchandising operations if they have websites so he typed in johnny knoxville.com
lo and behold he
found it to be available for purchase uh and i bought it should yeah and and i
made this big
dude i worked for years on this whole thing this this this epic video which
launched this uh
crazy like uh you know business initiative and it was the night that i i was
unveiling the website was to
be launched and i'm refreshing it but it's not launched and so i'm thinking
damn my phone is
remembering a cache of an old version i need to contact somebody who can just
tell me is this
fucking site live that makes sense this makes sense and i texted bob so i'm the
guy i'm the guy i texted a
bunch of people i texted a bunch of people oh who who texted you back i think
you're the only guy who
texted me back or called me back because i love you the most yeah you clearly
you clearly love me
more than any of these other people yeah but uh it was just as simple as hey
man is that live
is that is that i'm in the car is that live can we can we can we go on it on
our computer go go to
johnny knoxville.com this is what i'm doing in the car with my friend in the
car with me yeah late at night
all right so you did so i'm on the phone i go yep he says he says i'm trying
not so welcome to my
anus and you watch his hair turn great is that your dick steve whose dick is
that that's just uh
it's a nice looking dick boom and then you enter the website because it's my
online store the guy in
the car was a producer of a show of mine yeah of a show that i'm doing right so
okay it was embarrassing
what's embarrassing right yeah my friend i have a guy in the car that i'm
trying to impress and be
cool right yeah and meanwhile now we're looking inside your butthole well but
his bottle takes
you to a site that's true that's true there is a destination yeah you don't
think gene would find
that creative yeah yeah it is really pretty speci