Name: Rudy v Juicy | Ep 126 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2022-07-25T16:00:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy v Juicy | Ep 126 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy v Juicy | Ep 126 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-25. Transcript available.

Rudy v Juicy | Ep 126 | Bad Friends

Raid Shadow Legends. Bobby's playing it right now. I'm playing it right now. I
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You two are bad friends! Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian
dude. You two are disgusting.
You two are something. We're bad friends. Hey! Bobby's here!
What's up, Bo? We're not starting yet. All right. I'm not in my energy. Oh, hey,
no, you're right.
I'm just... Woo!
Anyway, um, no, because, you know, on the internet, they, my ass is glistening
from the live show,
and they put, um, because they put oil butter on my butt, and, um, people are
going, I'm jerking
off to it, or, you know what I mean? This is the greatest thing I've ever seen.
Two positive comments
so far. I'm jerking off to it, and this is the greatest thing I've ever seen.
Yeah, but the thing is,
is that I, I feel like I'm being used. You are being used. You are being used.
Welcome to the internet.
Welcome to comedy. Welcome to being a, uh, a personality. You are for other
people's
enjoyment and entertainment. Yeah, but not in a sexual way. No, no, no. Sex is
part of it,
buddy. Sec, you are a sex object. I want people to respect me for my mind.
You don't have a good mind. That's why it's broke. You're all body, baby.
Oh, my body? You're all body. Oh.
Look, we hung up your thong behind you. We had Bobby's mom on there,
which was, like, probably one of the greatest, uh, greatest guests we've ever
had,
other than our newfound family friend, Jetsky Johnson. Give it up for the Jetsky.
No, Juicy. Juicy. Juicy. Yeah, Jetsky's gone. No, no, no, no, Jetsky, Jetsky.
Well, that is her nickname. Juicy, Juicy. That's her new name. You don't like
Juicy?
It's Juicy now, officially. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do you not like it,
or does it make you feel offensive? I like all the nicknames. I'm a big fan of
nicknames,
so it's gonna be Jesse Jetsky Juicy Johnson. So sick. Yeah, that's sick. That's
so sick.
For now. Has anybody tried to create a nickname for you that you didn't like?
Like the C word? Yeah, like... And you're like, "I don't want to call me that."
Did you say that?
No, sometimes people say, like, "What do you prefer, Jetsky or Jesse?" And,
like, they're asking me my pronouns. And I'm like, "You can call me whatever."
And then they're like,
"Okay, well, why don't I call you a bitch?" or something. No, no, no, no.
You don't call you a bitch. You don't call Jetsky a bitch, baby. No, no, no.
You're part of Bad Friends Mafia. You know who named you Juicy?
One of you guys. I did. You did. Juicy, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like Juicy. I think Juicy is the move. And we should introduce
Juicy, our new family member, to someone that's on her way out if she keeps up
her attitude,
Rudy Jules. Yeah, Rudy Jules. Hello, Rudy. I like Juicy. Juicy's very silly.
I know, but that's not... Yeah, but that's not your angle. I like your angle,
dude.
That's a good angle. That's a really good angle. He's smart.
It's a smart angle. It's a Filipino angle. That's how you guys survive.
You know what I call that angle? The de-derte.
De-derte? Yeah, the de-derte angle.
What is that? He's the president. He's a terrible person.
Oh, de-derte. Yeah, de-derte.
Oh, yeah. That's a de-derte angle. And what you're trying to do,
I like it, but I see right through it, okay? You like her?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What do you like about her?
And she wore her bad friend's shirt today. She's looking to not get fired big
time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. She wore the shirt. She's being sweet.
Yeah. She showed up early.
Yeah, she drove herself. I know.
Like, usually I have to drag her into the car.
She said, "I'll be there prompt." Prompt?
Prompt? Oh, you don't want to get fired.
Yeah, prompt. Prompt. I'll be there prompt.
Right. She's not your competition.
No, not at all. I'm not. I'm just saying I like her.
Oh, defensive, defensive, defensive.
What do you like about her? You don't know anything about her.
You know nothing about her.
When I came in, her vibe is just very sweet and nice.
Yeah, yeah. That is true.
Why don't you guys have a conversation then? Right now.
I'm not good with conversation.
No, your job is on the line, my friend, all right?
All right, so you guys were talking earlier about anime and stuff.
What the fuck, man?
We already did. It's done.
We did. I'm impressed with Rudy because you are how old?
20.
Yeah, you're young.
And when I was 20, I was working at a smoke shop.
I dropped out of college.
How old are you now?
I'm 32, ancient.
You guys look similar in age, though.
You look so young.
You look so young.
Thank you.
Juicy looks so young.
Yeah.
32.
I'm only six years older than her, and I look like I'm fucking her dad.
Yeah.
I could be your dad.
Yeah, on TV?
No, no.
If we walked into a restaurant, I was like,
my daughter wants something to eat.
Oh, they would buy it.
A hundred percent.
They go, that's his kid.
I could be your grandfather?
Yes.
Great.
Great, great grandfather.
Great, great oppa.
Oppa, oppa, oppa.
On TV.
On TV, yeah.
That'd be weird.
And then who would she be?
If that's our kid, then that's our what?
What?
Skin tag.
Maid?
Maid.
A skin tag.
Skin tag?
That's our skin tag?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
She looks like she would grow on your neck.
Yeah, like a back.
And they're like, hey, get that removed.
I go, no, that's Rudy.
You can go to the dermatologist.
I go, no, that's Rudy.
You look like something I develop when I get skin cancer.
Why?
She grows on you.
Because whenever white people like me get dark spots.
Defend yourself.
Look at her.
When I get dark spots like your color, then I have to go to the derm to make
sure it's not cancerous.
You're my cancer.
Yeah.
It's like a benign.
You hope it's benign.
That's not benign.
You better hope it's benign.
Yeah.
Malignant's the bad one.
Yeah.
Benign is the good one.
You really watch anime, Juice?
I've seen a few animes and I really like them.
And so I was getting some recommendations.
She's obsessed.
Yeah.
What's the new one you're on?
We talked about it already.
Cock.
Cock?
No.
That's the, you're making that up.
No, I say Kaguya-sama.
Oh, Kaguya-sama.
What does that look like, George?
Kaguya-sama?
George is the only producer in the house today, by the way.
We're putting him to work.
Everyone's gone.
Kaguya-sama.
Love is war.
That's sick.
Yeah.
That's a great title.
Love is war.
Love is war.
Look at that.
Oh my God.
What is that there?
That's a Kaguya-sama.
Oh.
Now, who is that, Rudy?
I'm still watching the first episode.
So you're not watching it.
So you're not into it.
I'm still watching.
I'm trying.
Wait, wait, wait.
So we ask you, what are you into right now?
Croc of shit.
Right?
You're a croc of shit, man.
And you go Kaguya-sama, which is fine, right?
But you're like, I'm still watching the first episode, which you haven't seen
it yet.
I'm already into it.
You're going to finish it too.
Yeah.
Like every episode.
Yeah.
You watch it.
Like you read a book.
Yeah.
Yeah.
George, what are you doing?
You're in it then.
You've been doing this for 30 years.
What are you doing?
No, legitimately.
He's been producing it for 30 years.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
We're talking.
I don't know what you're doing.
God, he's crazy.
I'm getting it loaded up so that it's ready once you're done talking.
What are you loading up?
Uh, Kaguya-sama, Love is War, a 10 out of 10 anime.
We were just, oh my God.
We weren't even going to do that.
It's not even a thing.
Let him do it now.
Now we have to see it.
Here we go.
Oh, get somebody else's review.
Oh, this is stupid.
It's like, oh, just turn it off.
Just turn it off.
George Kimmel.
George Kimmel.
That looks good.
Juicy, what's your first impression of George?
Based on what-
Have you met him before?
Uh, just now we met.
Yeah.
Hey, remember, I book everybody who comes out here.
No, you don't, you don't.
She doesn't book.
Just so you know.
Honestly-
Just so you know, he has fucking zero power.
No power.
At all.
So just be honest.
If you want to be booked on anything ever, you ask Bobby or me, no power.
No power.
Just judge freely.
Yeah, yeah.
Go ahead.
But you know, it goes through me.
It goes through me.
Be quiet.
What's your impression?
And be honest.
Please be honest.
And I'll know you're lying.
And just look at us.
Don't even look at him.
No need to be too honest.
No, no.
Oh, George, I swear to God.
I think under these working conditions, he's really holding it together.
He's got a pretty hostile boss here.
Yeah, he does.
He does.
But you know what?
Who's hostile?
You.
Wait.
But they've been working together for 20, how many years?
Long time.
Over time.
Over time.
Listen, you just said that I was a hostile boss.
Well, you're yelling at him a lot.
Yeah, he does yell at him a lot.
I would be crying if I was George back then.
But here's the difference, Juice.
Here's the difference, Juice.
Yeah.
You don't get yelled at because you don't do that kind of shit.
He yells because George does that stuff.
You wouldn't do that.
Let me ask you something.
You're too good.
If I'm the boss at Home Depot.
Oh my God, yeah.
All right.
And I had an employee, right?
Taking the chainsaw and he's like trying to attack dogs, right?
As a boss, I would have to go, "Hey!"
Cut it out.
Cut it out.
Number one, don't use that.
It's a brand new chainsaw.
Number two, don't try to kill the patrons' dogs, right?
That's the wood slicer, not the dog slicer.
Exactly, exactly.
Thank you so much.
And you would be the good employee that would say that.
Employee of the month.
You would come in and go, "What would you say?"
So I'd say, "Hey!"
And then you come from behind and go, "What?"
That's what you just said.
Oh, that's the wood slicer.
The dog slicer is all of five.
All of five.
Exactly.
And you would get a raise.
But my point is that if I didn't yell at that guy for doing that,
then Home Depot would be a difficult work environment.
It would be Lowe's.
It would be Lowe's.
It would be Lowe's.
And we just can't have that around here.
This has to be Home Depot.
Yeah.
This is Home Depot.