Name: Rudy's 21st Birthday feat. Matt Braunger | Ep 143 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2022-11-21T17:00:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy's 21st Birthday feat. Matt Braunger | Ep 143 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy's 21st Birthday feat. Matt Braunger | Ep 143 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-21. Transcript available.

Rudy's 21st Birthday feat. Matt Braunger | Ep 143 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots
a white dude and an asian dude you two are disgusting
you two are something we're bad friends
one two three happy bird oh no
they're asian so they sing it different
happy birthday to you from the jungles
we don't wash our feet we don't wash the feet we don't wash the feet we like
duck egg we like crime the tree we crime the tree and get the pletane
yeah we do we don't have paved roads hey hey hey hey how do we get anywhere by
boat how do we get anywhere boat and donkey
that's your birthday song that's your birthday do you want us to do it again
happy birthday to the rudy jewels 21st birthday now you can go to any nightclub
that you want you can drink all the alcohol that you want strip club strip club
you can stay out as late as you want are there strip clubs in the philippines
yeah but oh did you hear that i heard that cough in the mic
dude that's like covet and monkey pox together it's like a combo bird flu it's
got all of it
yeah it's got every bird flu mad cow yeah it's got all that sitting there
rudy introduce our our other esteemed guest on the show today
um this is my younger sister isabella
hello hello who also showed up sick
yeah yeah yeah uh they're both very sick she got off the plane sick
cool that's cool international sickness that's always good that's how this
thing started
on the izzy on the plane were you sick on the plane or when you
i only had a sore throat yeah that's how it begins
yeah it starts there and then what happened
and then like a few hours after i got off the plane i got um i got a cold
oh i see i see and then how long you've been in america so far
like a week yeah yeah and you still have it
yeah yeah yeah right on right on that's always good
yeah yeah she's like it was just a cold
then i was vomiting and my temperature was 126
i blacked out for two days but great to be here
my mucus had blood in it right and a part of chunks of my lung inside the mucus
how old are you how old is she i'm 14 so we've seen pictures of you on the
internet
when you met with fancy uh on the boat that's racist yeah yeah i just see them
i think boat i
i understand that what kind of boat
what kind of boat though yeah you know is it an engine no no there's no these
are their engines
it's good to see you it's good to meet you yeah big fans over here we're big
fans of you
do you know that 14 years old holy shit is this show okay it's okay yeah yeah
for her to hear this
stuff well yeah i so it's funny because when i went to the philippines five or
six weeks ago
i hung out with izzy a lot yeah and i literally realized that she's more grown
up than jewels
she's also has more to say right and she has points of views and opinions and i
realized that
jewels is not a great older sister in fact i think that she's a little
what do you mean there it is that's it that doesn't prove anything that's a
that's handicapped
yeah why that's mentally what do you mean by the way you're going through your
gift yeah yeah we haven't
done that yet i want to open it fine do it then jesus christ what'd you get
okay let me read
the letter first please did i sign it i don't remember signing it you did not
sign the card we
all got a card from andres pete and tito andrew mm-hmm from pete happy 21st
birthday stop stop
don't stop stop for a second you didn't put my name in there uh i forgot i didn't
forget
okay you forgot my birthday and and you didn't uh did you get any of the gifts
what's in the bag okay
what's in the bag can i say this no what's in the bag
cantaloupe all right i'm sorry you did yeah yeah yeah i apologize just can i
just say something
please what did i get you for your gift isa and my mom i flew your mom and your
fucking sister but
it doesn't matter to america it doesn't matter on my birthday you didn't greet
me at all
where was i nowhere to be found literally where was i on your birthday to be
honest i don't know
you know where i was i don't know where was i where was i there not there yeah
i wasn't no i was
somewhere you weren't there i wasn't i wasn't doing a movie i don't know what
day was that what day was
that wednesday how do you not know her birthday i was out of town you were here
yeah but you came home
early yep yep you sent me this video you were here you were in town oh yeah we
had to do the pod that's
right that's right we had to do the pod no no but after the pod you were free i
went home
i went back i was just that during that thing was the pod you made me come here
that was your
fucking fault right i was like no family's coming you're no no we gotta do it
is that what you said
no no i like please go ahead i got your family out that's a lot of money so don't
give me
bullshit don't make it about money don't make it about what do i make it about
it's about
my intentions about it she's rich without you my love not really not really not
really go ahead
read the fucking thing read the card from pete happy 21st birthday don't black
out and have your
mom show up like i did on my 21st that's cute i don't even know what that means
he means he blacked
out so much he had his mom come pick him up oh you oh you got drunk i did it
was she didn't drink at
all well tell the story if it's embarrassing i'd like to hear it i was you know
i was thrown up
i was blacked out and then my brother called my mom and uh she showed up and
she was all hysterical
and where were you i was at a friend's house and then i i was just belligerent
and uh it was really
embarrassing oh we should really write that into a script that's exciting i
mean what the
fuck directed by martin scorsese right and then the credits come down after oh
i got drunk and then
my mom picked me up yeah fade to black yeah yeah well this is the worst fucking
movie i think i've
ever started up off as pete whatever who's gonna play that's that's great no no
that's that's
that's a compliment let me see who would play you no try the buff i like that
fat jonah hill
all right i'll take that we gotta plump him up again yeah we gotta pump him up
yeah yeah
pete good story i love you to death yeah okay shout out to pete thank you for
being here because
we miss pete when he's gone yeah fancy b what did you do for your 21st doesn't
matter you can drink
at 18 in spain right what do you do at 18 did you have an 18th birthday
everybody forgot about my 18th birthday so i was already uh deploying oh it is
it's a ploy
he's baiting me it's baiting you're a liar he lies what's your problem who the
is gonna forget your 18th birthday well you for example will forget any
birthdays oh oh that's an
attack i love it wow yeah yeah wow okay yeah yeah that's right you know why
i treat everyone every day like it's their birthday that's true all right i don't
take days and go you
know this is the day i'm gonna give gifts to this person and then never talk to
them for the rest of
the year not me i fucking say hi i hug i give gifts and i give you the
attention as if every day is
christmas birthday hanukkah consura what's consura what's the black one with
the in the christmas
andres kwanza kwanza kwanza what'd i say kwanzaera kwanzaera yeah it's like a
diet coke spin-off
kwanzaera drink consider yeah anyway no you you you are a good boy thank you
and stop attacking him
stop attacking me go ahead from andres jules don't follow tito bobby's
footsteps and you'll be
fine happy birthday oh really that's interesting to me oh really the footsteps
of success you guys have
the same size glory yeah you don't want the glory you want to go the glory road
i didn't say that
glory road gold fucking pathway like in the fucking wizard of odds what is that
follow yellow brick road
road yeah golden brick road with you yeah and follow the yellow man on the
yellow brick mall
yellow man yeah yeah just follow anything yellow this wall is long well it's
the wall of china so it's
very yeah yeah what what else is in there and then tito andrew what'd i say
dirty that's right
booty dirty booty rudy which i thought today is a great nickname and i'm gonna
keep saying it now
dirty booty rudy yeah there she goes dirty booty rudy love you jules happy 21st
very nice and very
simple didn't have to take shots at you i just said happy birthday these guys
both took shots i understand
that you see what i mean these guys that's why did i you're one of my best
friends love you that's why
there's trust involved love you and that there's a connection that you can't
ever sever and these guys
pieces of yeah these guys are right here dude this is like if they were in our
if we were in war
right you and i front lines all right andreas you hit the wall right and we
turn around he's
you can see his back he's running yeah he's running yeah in forest comp yeah
right if i was who's that
guy uh bubba bubba if i was bubba bubba if and they were with him bubba would
be left out there dead
with no legs that's right i'm dead okay that's what you are dude sorry go ahead
all right how how old is 14 what how many years of school are you you know what
forest did forrest took
his idea i'm an ace let the forrest gump thing go i'm so passionate i know so
passionate let me just
get this all right one second let me get this forrest gump thing go all right
because i'm it got me
like i got really emotional about it we're still at war no we're not at war no
okay it's just a
fucking idea that like i thought that i had go go i'm just saying that like you
know forrest gump
right he took bubba gump's idea about the shrimp and yeah made money off it and
then sent
fucking his the money to his dad mom mom he they would have stole the idea yep
right yep never gave
given credit to fucking the guy nope right and and made all the money that's
right and never gave it to
the mom or whatever anyway i get that sorry i got that no i like it you guys
got anything to say
do you have anything to say for yourself yeah yeah that's true i mean there's
other movies i could do
there's other movies i could do but i'm not gonna do it did you see the indian
version of forrest gump
what what what what there is there's an indian version of forest comp when you
say indian you mean
indian india or native indians not native not native yeah india indian forrest
gump yeah forrest gump man
if it's called forrest gump man run forrest run run forrest run it's called lai
sing
chada lai sing chada that's not forrest gump man it is it's in about click on
it click on the wikipedia
right there lai singh chada 2000 it just came out huh okay if forrest gump isn't
in the description
it's not go ahead read it zoom zoom zoom zoom okay zoom in uh it's a indian uh
lal singh chada
is an indian hindi language comedy drama directed by affidavit chandon and a
screenplay eric roth
and atul kamani produced by america blah blah blah blah it is a remake of the
1994 american film
forrest gump which itself is an adaptation of the novel the same by the name
from winston groom the
film stars amir khan and the title character alongside kareena kapoor we have
to watch it then we
gotta watch it but is there like is it the same exact story wow let me get this
straight look at
the poster let him get it straight go ahead what can i get this straight so in
forrest gump right
there's flashback scenes or whatever a forest with you know i mean jfk yeah so
this should be an indian
guy next to jfk um i guess you know what i mean i don't get it well let's watch
the trailer we can
there's an indian guy in the vietnam war not the vietnam war it's their war oh
it's okay yeah it's
their vietnam it's their vietnam which is what i don't remember i'm so not
educated
oh my god push pause push pause oh my god i love it dude it's so weird let's
see come on in fact
india should make remake all the movies i think they do i think they actually
do yeah so is there
like an indian version of like uh e.t star wars driver everything everything
everything oh i love
bollywood makes everything and they make like 10 times the films that we make
in a year that's amazing
that's