Name: Bobby's Beatbox & Night Leaking w/ Rick Glassman | Ep 174 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2023-07-10T16:00:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Beatbox & Night Leaking w/ Rick Glassman | Ep 174 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Beatbox & Night Leaking w/ Rick Glassman | Ep 174 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-10. Transcript available.

Bobby's Beatbox & Night Leaking w/ Rick Glassman | Ep 174 | Bad Friends

hey hey oh we're we're we're we're going back on tour we're going back on tour
in the fall
we're going to be on the tour in the fall we're going to go to rochester new york
then we're
going to northfield which is cleveland we're going to homestead which is
basically pittsburgh
then we're doing two shows there and boston mass boston massachusetts washington
dc denver
milwaukee wisconsin chicago illinois minneapolis and madison madison wisconsin
so go to bad
badfriendspod.com for those tickets bad friends pod bad friends pod.com jesse
has a couple of
shows coming up go ahead i got wednesday july 12th i'm at the irvine improv i'm
bringing some friends
to open the show and friday july or saturday july 15th i'm at bakersfield i'm
new to this that's okay
you're doing fine all the ticket links are on my website jessie johnson.com you'll
see some salt lake
city and vegas and austin on there too go check her out thank you guys you two
are bad friends who are
these two idiots a white dude and an asian dude you two are disgusting you two
are something we're bad
friends uh how is the uh hawaii dude i know so much cowabunga dude cowabunga aloha
mahalo to you
my friend aloha mahalo to the bad friends fans the first part of the tour is
done thank you so much
for coming out on the first part of the tour yeah we really appreciate it was
amazing it was incredible
did you have fun it changed my life in what way well i know who my friends are
that's fact not him
not him yeah yeah not you bud no that's not true that's not true what do you
block me all the time
who am i that girl lied that's that's carlos yeah yeah that's carlos
i think you're pushing away yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like d batminton so quick
no this girl lied and
said she didn't she was single then she shows up with her husband oh my god
that was the craziest
reminding me that i wasn't even thinking about that oh wait i need to tell you
a story that this is about
that this is about what i'm at the event yesterday in vegas uh-huh and a woman
comes up to me and says
oh man we're such huge bad friend fan me and my husband hey he waves i said hi
what's up she goes
how do you wave hey he waves oh like that okay yeah and he goes uh we went to
philly at the met and
you guys came out here for the tournament he says yeah we loved it was so
incredible and then he goes
ask him ask him and i was like what and she goes the girl that said her husband
died at uh at a
boating accident she brought this up and i said yeah and she goes she was a
plant wasn't she i said
no we don't have any plants at our show no there's no such thing there's no
greenery what do you mean
plant no plants no plants trees and stuff yeah she wants to know if there was
foliage they were part
of the foliage she was like you guys plant her i said we've never done that
anyone that's from the
audience that gets on a part of the show it's organic or organic she goes no
way you you guys did
that i said lady not only did we not plan her she was a liar her husband was
alive a lie she said he
died yeah we believed it yeah we we had a moment of silence on stage i think
well then we were like
dude dude because he died in a boating accent we did make a lot of boat jokes
we did made a lot of
very good ones but she called me backstage and she was just kind of um i mean
if you're listening hi
um but um it was a little weird back then it was clever of her yeah she tricked
us she bamboozled
me we brought them all that her and her three friends backstage yeah and it got
a little weird i
got mad i i i think i got mad well because you felt duped you thought her
husband i don't like
really you are not a dupe yeah nobody better do bobby from now on speaking of
someone dude like
during i was there during pearl harbor that's a big dupe and i was sleeping no
my cousin my cousin's in
the u.s navy dude that's right that's right you're right i was sleeping in his
bunk we're at the second
bunk man yeah siren you know what i mean that's what the siren inside yeah that's
right what going
on what going on because you know i mean i back then i had an accent right of
course yeah right and
explosions this and that my cousin died my point is is that was trickery too
that was bamboozlement yeah
and i don't like it i got laid that night too whoa during pearl harbor no the
night that that lady
lied in the green room yeah because that's what you do no no that's what you do
you grab me the liars
first of all let me say something right now okay i'm not looking for anything
right now
by the way you're you're you're good you're good i'm good the way i am and the
way life is that's
right but my point is is that i know your heart and it's dark no and i was such
a good friend to
you the whole tour no you're not that's insane i had your back i bought you elf
bars jewel pods oh yeah
oh yeah yeah some you are friends yeah i forgot you are a friend this is such a
22nd century friend
i bought elf bars jewel pods i'm your best friend but so thanks for those but
um yeah let me think
about it and then um and then i got closer to you and jesse that was good yeah
that's cool yeah and
you got a face tattoo no it's a star face it's like for a pimple i put it on
there but it's the pride
one why just are you trolling you know that's true this is called gay baiting
and they don't like
it really yeah yeah no in the gay community i think it's that's a very no no no
i just support
get skin colored next time yeah okay well you don't even believe in the kind of
things you say about the
lgbt what do i say right what do i say about them other than why don't they're
going to hell
what do you mean oh my god that's so what you said that no on the bus you said
they don't belong in
the same schools as us i did not see what the you're the one that said that man
whoa you're right
don't lie dude you know what you're right that's insane i gotta tell you though
yeah an all-gay
school would be very fun to visit oh i would love i would oh my god would they
get any work done
i don't think nothing would get taught yeah yeah nothing singing everything it
would just be
just fun and partying yeah you know white out you don't use white out you just
come
it works just as good yeah you're gay baiting it's actually it's actually i
never said that by the
way everyone listening i love the gays i love the lgbt and the other letters
that are i know it gets
longer clearly bobby has never said that they should be in different schools
that's why would i say that
that's just he said they should have different water fountains but that's i
understand what he's saying
yeah i think white people should have their own too and asians should have the
art and the asian one
will be cleaner and it would have like other things that it does like the
toilets it's a little soy
sauce uh dispenser you know that you know that we already have why would i have
soy sauce in the
fucking water you guys always have rice on your person you always wait it's a
water fountain we'd have
another fountain for rice no no want to get two birds of one stone yeah by the
way we do have we do have
asian water fountains and white water fountains already when you go look up
school water fountains
there's always one at regular height there's always one low to the ground those
are for the
little people dude that's you no that's not for me those are made for asians
you can't tell me those
are made for there's not that many little people yeah no they're those way more
asians there's
billions of you guys yeah they built that for you you can go to images in a
school yeah you can buy
one though too okay can we have one of those inside of the office you know what
they should have then
the one like on the roof for like gigantism we should just do it for every size
you know see look there they are that's for me and for you you know that is me
and you 100 yeah
and can i say something we peed one time in a bathroom together and i had took
the little one
yeah and you giggled i did what a piece of but also i can see over the divider
so i can see when
you i can see your little penis in the in the not little penis regular penis
what is that what's that
what are you doing what is that what are you doing what are you doing it's a
kid with gigantism
that's what a kid looks like with gigantism oh no oh no carlos carlos why would
you start that
thank god carlos why do you start you ever have a baby it's gonna come out all
up yeah 100 it's
gonna have a hand here it's gonna be you know just the foot's gonna be gigantism
the hands gonna be
midget scoliosis it's gonna be a whole thing and a progeria and all that you're
all that you're
done dude don't ever have a baby dude first of all because you're evil dude you're
an evil boy who
gay baits and i'm evil because i laugh every time he puts out a fucked up video
i laugh it's so not
good you know what a girl said to me actually this bothered me a lot i've never
seen a baby
i've never seen it either thank you god bless thank you very nice thank you you're
earning some points
a girl a girl said to me i should be repulsed by carlos yeah but i'm oddly
attracted to him a random
girl said that to me yeah women are yeah in vegas the girl goes i should be repulsed
i love bad
friends i said thank you she said i should be repulsed by carlos verbatim she
goes but i'm
oddly attracted to him and i said what is it and she goes i think because he's
like an honest little
grimy weirdo and i that was such a great phrase an honest little grimy weirdo
that's what um the liar
girl she said i was bobby's sneaky little friend and i'm like oh that's a great
way to describe me why you're not
sneaky you're grimy okay yeah you're grimy with a little sneak with a hint of
sneak little babe sneak
you know what i did i did something grimy a couple weeks ago give it tell us
more i went to a milking
table okay what do you mean wait wait you used one wait no i like clockwork
orange one of those bars
no no no not like not like i love those not you were drinking milko villa set
no no not the
hallucinogenic milk no i went to this it's like reverse massage where you get
on a table and there's
a hole we had one of these in the first season of dave we premiered we had it
on the show i pull into
the garage and he's getting milked you put your cock through a table and they
milk you from the bottom
exactly i went to one of those wait a minute you went to you went to there's a
place that has these
no it's just someone's apartment i was gonna say but she's certified in milking
i guess wait so how
many people were getting milked it was just me wait wait wait it's somebody
that you met on an app
no it was like through a website a website so it's a sexual thing yeah you paid
how much was it
it's cheaper than you think because there's no sex it was only 200. and then
you you put your penis
to there and then what happens and then she goes under and milks you like you're
a cow or something
and you have to move you don't do you have to how funny would that be you don't
have to move but
she yeah she uses her hands or her mouth oh anything but what did she use is
her mouth and hands
there was no bucket is there a spit bucket her mouth is the bucket wait wait
wait you she so you you
stick your dick through the thing she tricks you up and when it comes out she
gets some protein what
the yeah exactly yeah yeah i don't think she might have a protein deficiency
she might have a deficiency
this might be a solution to her problem yeah that's a good thing though i got
to tell you was she hot
no she's underneath the milking table no i thought she was attractive she could
have been hotter but
you know why you thought she was attractive because it was one a.m yeah it's
one in the morning and she
milked you exactly wow p could milk me i'd be like she's all right she's kind
of hot so you got milked
you paid 200 you say thank you and go home or you chat i actually is there a
chat i chat for a second
i'm like oh how's the night going are you busy l