Name: Uh Oh, Hot Dogs! | Ep 190 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2023-10-30T16:00:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Uh Oh, Hot Dogs! | Ep 190 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Uh Oh, Hot Dogs! | Ep 190 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-30. Transcript available.

Uh Oh, Hot Dogs! | Ep 190 | Bad Friends

- Hey, Bad Friends! - Hey, Bad Friends!
- Dude, we go on tour, and I'm gonna say something.
It's a delight live.
- It is the delight live.
- And it's for you.
- It's for you, but it's us, but it's for you.
- People have changed their lives because of our tour.
They come, they get a spiritual experience.
- They do.
They get more zen, more ohm. - They get more zen.
- More ohm.
And we have four dates left here at the end of this tour.
- Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
- Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis, and Madison
to end this year. - Come, come.
- Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis, and Madison.
Then in 2024, we're jumping around.
We're playing some casinos and big rooms.
We're doing Atlantic City, Salt Lake City.
- Temecula. - Temecula, Reno.
- Sacramento, Long Beach. - Long Beach.
- Windsor, Ontario, Canada.
Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada.
- Tucson, Arizona. - Tucson, and Vegas.
We end in Vegas.
Go to badfriendspod.com.
The pre-sale code is BADFRIENDS
if there's still pre-sale on them.
Go to badfriendspod.com.
Badfriendspod.com. - Dot com!
- Hey! - Bad Friends, we got our Patreon.
We've told you about it.
Nothing changes.
Everyone thinks, "What could change, Santino?"
- You get your episodes a little earlier.
- You get them on Friday instead of Monday.
- Right, ad-free. - Ad-free.
- Right, and then extra bonus content.
- And we put hot dog stuff?
- Oh, hot dog! - Oh, hot dog stuff.
There's all sorts of bonus content on there.
If you wanna join the Patreon, jump on board with us.
There's more stuff that we're adding, more tour videos,
more exclusive stuff just for you guys.
If you don't wanna join, thank you for still watching
and enjoying the show as it is.
Go to patreon.com/badfriends.
That's patreon.com/badfriends.
- You two are bad friends.
- Who are these two idiots?
- A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
- Well, you two are something.
- We're bad friends.
- Bro, bro, you're so Bora Bora.
- Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro.
- Wait, ain't Bora Bora, there's Jamaicans?
- Bro, bro, welcome to Bora Bora!
- Is it near Jamaica?
- It's right near the beach in Jamaica.
- Is it really?
- It's literally nowhere near Jamaica.
Couldn't be further from Jamaica.
- But what is, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra?
What is that?
- Are those guns?
- That's what they say when you sit down for dinner.
- Bra, bra, bra, bra, welcome to dinner.
Shrimp, shrimp, mahi, mahi.
You've never, by the way, French Polynesia.
- Yeah.
- Unbelievable.
Had a great time.
Did my heart glow a little bit when you wrote,
"Happy Birthday, I Love You So Much" on my post of my butt?
- It made me glow.
- I flagged it.
- Did you write anything?
- I flagged it.
- You did flag it.
- I did flag it, yeah, I don't wanna see that.
- Independent post, main feed.
- That is sick.
That is sick.
And by the way, not only do I know you flagged it,
other people must have flagged it,
because Instagram sent me a,
"This is a violation of our community rules."
- I didn't flag it.
- Damn.
- No, but enough people did.
But it's like, I showed nothing in that photo.
- Yeah, Instagram was like,
"You should be getting paid for pictures."
- Hell yeah, dude, pay me.
- Are these fans doing it or people who hate us?
- I think it's both.
- Hey fans, don't do it.
- Don't flag us.
- Don't flag.
- Let us show our butt.
- Please.
By the way, there's girls on Instagram showing way worse
than what I'm showing.
- I've seen fallopian tubes on Instagram.
- Miss Pat saw my butt, or lack thereof in her opinion,
and she goes, "You look like your back
"go all the way down to your feet."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- So good.
Yeah, I had a great time.
Bora Bora, French Polynesia.
Lovely time.
And at the airport-
- Recognized.
- A guy goes, a guy goes-
- But up, but up, are you-
- But up, but up, are you, are you, are you?
- No, really?
- I am.
He literally goes, he goes,
but this is the wildest shit about French Polynesia.
They look, they're, you know, they're Islanders.
They look like Samoans and Tongans.
- Are they black?
- Compared to us, yeah.
- But would you consider them black?
- No, they're Islanders.
- If you saw them in LA, would you like, hold your wallet?
- Well, yeah, yeah, dude.
- Oh, you would?
- Yeah, oh yeah.
- Then they're black.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- No, they look like Islanders.
They're French.
Honestly, they look like Natives, like Hawaiians.
Same kind of thing.
- Oh! - Pacific Islanders.
- Oh, Moana.
- Moana.
- Moana Kai.
- But the wildest shit, and you know,
as someone that goes to Hawaii a lot,
in Hawaii, they've got that language, bro.
- Yeah, yeah.
- In French Polynesia, because it's fucking French.
- Yeah, yeah.
- They all speak French and they have French.
So you see a big, like, a big Polynesian looking cat.
- Yeah.
- And he's like, yeah, how are you, monsieur?
Are you good?
- No.
- I swear, it's the funniest shit.
- Can I ask you something?
- Yeah, please.
- What's the women like?
- What are the girls like?
- Yeah, what do they look like?
- Let me tell you.
- For Carlos, Carlos wants to know.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Look at his dick, hard.
- The women there are the exact same size as the men.
It was wild.
- Burrah, burrah.
- Burrah, burrah.
- The women can beat the shit out of you.
- Wow.
- And make you a good meal.
There was not a lot of little women.
- Tree trunks, the legs are like tree trunks.
- A big women.
- They are.
- Yeah, we didn't even take a boat to the island.
- Small pussies though.
- The woman just picked us up and walked us through the water.
It was pretty incredible.
No, we had a great time.
They're beautiful, wonderful.
- But is there a strip club and stuff?
- Yeah, there was.
- In Bora Bora?
- No, I don't fucking, what the fuck?
I was with the- - Oh, the beach.
You're in the white beach.
- Yeah, I was at the white people beach.
I was at the all white people beach.
- Can I ask you another question?
Is there food?
I mean, there's food, but is it good food?
- A lot of fish.
Ate a lot of fresh tuna right out of the ocean.
- Oh, that's great.
- Caught that morning, sliced it up, put it in my throat.
What do you gotta say?
You're smiling, you little mischief.
- No, I was just laughing about the Bora Bora strip club.
- Bora Bora, yeah, there is one.
There is one.
And they actually, they strip on trees.
They use trees as the pole.
- And there's only one woman,
'cause she takes up the whole space.
- Bora and her sister Bora.
Bora Mora, more Bora.
It was amazing.
They all speak French.
It's the weirdest fucking thing.
- Wow.
- And they say, "Maruru," that means thank you.
- Yeah, is it worth it?
- Oh yeah, dude.
- Let's hope so.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I might wanna bring a lady over there.
- It was 100% the best time I think I've had in,
I'll show you a photo of what the hut looked like.
- Oh my God.
- So you get like a hut over the water.
And since the woman knew it was my birthday,
she goes, she was a sweet little French girl.
- Yeah.
- And she says, she goes,
"Your room is ready.
Something maybe a little special for you."
- What is it?
- And I said, "What?"
- And she put us at the very end of the pier.
- No way that was where you stayed.
- Yeah, that was me.
- That's where you stayed?
- Yeah.
- That's like a fucking, you know, that's Avatar shit.
- Yeah.
- Dude, it felt, honestly.
- Was that Pandora?
What the fuck is going on around here, man?
- So I stayed, we stayed at the very end of the.
- And can you walk out the door and just jump in the water?
- Yeah.
- Did you do that?
- Holy shit.
- I did it every fucking, every day.
Every day.
Here, there's some other pictures I send you right there,
so you wake up in the morning
and you jump off the back of your dock
into the fucking water.
It's insane.
- Oh my God.
- Incredible.
- Yeah, so that's the,
right there is like when you walk up to the huts,
they're all like over the water and we're,
look, you're still very private,
but she put us at the very last hut
'cause she wanted us to have full privacy out to the ocean.
- Bro, if Carlos went, you know what would happen?
- The dolphins would press charges.
- A hundred percent.
- It'd be like in court.
Glow in our oil!
- Dude, don't ever go there, dude.
I love dolphins, don't ever go there.
- Zoom in on that.
So there's a picture of the reef in the lagoon.
You can literally swim in any of the lagoons.
- You took this picture?
- Yeah.
- Oh my.
- That doesn't look pretty.
- It does to me.
- Yeah, that looks like whale shit.
- That is whale shit.
- Oh, it is so?
All right, that doesn't look, give me color.
It's so gray and dismal.
- No, that's all.
- That's what it is?
- Go to the next photo though.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- And then this.
- Let me look at this one.
- I mean, that's the main beach.
So if you want to go, so zoom in,
you can see the huts on the water,
but if you just want to go to the main beach.
- Oh, is that a shark?
- Yeah.
That's just a black eye.
- Oh, that's a black eye.
- No, no, if you want, that's the main beach.
- That's beautiful.
- And people were there hanging out every day,
but I prefer to swim off the back of the dock.
Like go to the next photo.
You could see in the morning,
I would wake up and just do that.
That's right off the back.
- Wow.
Are there sharks?
- Yeah, there was one in the water.
I swear to God.
- Like tiger sharks?
- You guys can ask.
My lady, she was like, a shark.
And I go, shut up.
And she goes, shark, shark, right there.
- But what kind?
- I think it's called, I think it was called easy.
- I was about to say.
So you're back.
How's your energy right now?
Very peaceful.
- I feel good.
It's a long flight.
It was a very long flight.
- How long, how long, how long?
- I think it's nine or something like that.
- Nine hours.
- From Tahiti.
And then you have to fly from Tahiti to Bora Bora.
- And how long is that?
- It's another hour and some change or something like that.
- So you're looking at like a 10 hour, 11 hour experience.
- Yeah, with the layover and all that stuff.
- Right.
- At first class, that's nice.
- No, not first class.
- You did coach.
- Wait, wait.
- Are you making fun of me?
- I'm not making fun of you.
I think you're fucking lying.
- No.
- You did coach.
- Oh yeah.
- From LA to Tahiti, Tahiti.
- Back at the plane.
- Really?
- How did I do that?
How did I survive?
- How did you do it?
- I stayed in the bathroom for about three or four hours.
- Oh, you did?
- I just stood in the bathroom.
I would end up sleeping in the bathroom.
- Yeah, okay, so you did that.
- Yeah.
- That was fine.
It worked for me.
- There's no way you did it.
- Yes, I did.
I'll show you my ticket, 23A and 23B.
- You swear to God on my mother's life.
- No, that's crazy.
- Well then, if you were telling the truth, you would.
- No, I don't want to swear on anybody's life.
That's dangerous.
- No.
- Am I right, Fancy?
If she dies tomorrow, then it's my fault for some reason.
- Definitely.
- Did you say, "Yes, I flew first class"?
- I did not.
- You lied!
- I did not.
- Okay.
- I will say the little plane you take to Tahiti
from Bora Bora.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's scary.
It's one of those where the guys out there like,
and he spins the fucking-
- Oh, it's a Buddy Holly killing.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't like the Buddy Holly-
- The whole time, and the pilot's on there.
- The Buddy Holly killing ones, man?
Oh my God.
- Pilots on there singing,
"Ooo-wee-oo, I don't just have Buddy Holly."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude, but that plane wiped out legends.
- Yeah.
- The big bopper.
- Dude.
- Yeah.
- That's the same plane that-
- The Mexican guy who thinks he's white.
- What's his name?
The Mexican guy who thinks he's wife?
- Richie Valance.
- Richie Valance.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, the two propell-
The two propellers, the wobbly-
- The wobbly, no.
- I don't like the wobbly-
- The wobbly-bobbly's, no.
- Meanwhile, there's a woman next to me,
a French woman in the, you know,
'cause most, a lot of these people,
French citizens must get some sort of deal
from the government 'cause it's mostly French people.
