Name: Magic Water & The 3rd World Genie | Ep 192 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2023-11-13T17:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Magic Water & The 3rd World Genie | Ep 192 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Magic Water & The 3rd World Genie | Ep 192 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-13. Transcript available.

Magic Water & The 3rd World Genie | Ep 192 | Bad Friends

hey bad friends friends friends hey bad friends we are on tour baby where are
we going we're going
to milwaukee wisconsin yeah baby beer and cheese with the beer and jeffrey dahmer
oh he's there
will he be coming to the show no but there's those types of whites all right
then the next
night we're in chicago then we go to minneapolis john wayne gacy yes yes chicago
all your favorite
serial killers minneapolis minnesota then minneapolis killers from there and
then uh
probably mccone he'll be a mccone from there and then madison wisconsin is how
we end the year
and then in the new year we've got a big run we go january 20th we're at the atlantic
city new jersey
baby come on gamble salt lake city utah january 27th boy boy and temecula do
you know where temecula is
yeah man it's right by powie where i grew up exactly and that's where you're
going to meet my
dan the spice i'm going to meet dan your sponsor so come on out to pechanga on
february 2nd then
we do reno nevada sacramento long beach long beach then we do canada we do
windsor ontario and niagara
falls back to back uh in canada then we do tucson arizona where do we finish on
420 las vegas
nevada april 20th 2024 come see us live come see us get your tickets go to badfriendspod.com
hello hello and what do we have here we have you know dude can i just say
something about that let
me a million subscribers yay right this is incredible thank you so much youtube
for occasionally banning
us and demonetizing is that really from youtube yeah we got a million no we got
an award from the
youtube yeah we passed a million subs that's amazing i don't know we could you
get awards for
that let's go back to this now let's go back to that okay so number one um what
do you when you get
water right we talk about the most annoying thing when you have water what's
the most annoying thing
when i get water when you drink water when i drink water yeah that you have to
keep drinking
otherwise you die nope no what is it nanos this is nano pure you're telling me
there's no
nanos this sounds like we're doing a plug for this stuff no no no so we talked
about this on the
other episode can i just say another thing please right when every time i've i've
drinking water
i went there's something wrong with this you know what it's structured
differently ah than it should
be ah restructured you're telling me this is fully restructured yeah yeah there's
another thing
right yeah what do you love about water when it what it has what it has keeps
me alive no no there's
elements in it i'll tell you what oh hydrogen oxygen when it's oxygen in it
right but it already has
oxygen in it but this company what no not enough oxygen hyper they need more
oxygen they hypered it out
okay well let's take let's take a sip well here's i'm but i'm gonna say this uh-huh
you're already
closed-minded no one how am i you're closed-minded and you're making fun of it
already juice am i
closed-minded um if i said no would you be open to that possibility yes then i
think you're pretty
open-minded right on good so would you like some um aphora please i i would
like i'm gonna drink my
own water you drink yours now you know what my good old-fashioned elvis elvis
love mountain valley
that's why i like i'll drink my ophora because yours has full of nanos you're
telling me this has
tons of nanos yeah yeah nanobots in your body dude okay wow it's a real class
and you're being
restructured now let me taste yeah wow let me taste delicious how is it
i'm restructured whoa do you feel better did you see how did you see that i
didn't do that
i didn't do that dude the water just did jesse do you want to try oh no i think
that this is what i
deserve i'll just stick with the plastic that's true yeah you know what i'll
stick with my water
okay so you think this is better you really do think this is well look at how
much is yours
the mountain valley a couple bucks yeah a couple bucks thirty dollars dude that's
a thirty dollar
bottle yeah so it's disgusting it's not but how does it taste does it taste
better dude i hate water
usually really yeah i want to keep drinking this dude wow yeah yeah if only
they could flavor it like
diet coke then it'd be really good water you know can i say something what and
i don't want to
offend christians but here i'm going to go ahead all right yeah jesus come
that's how good it is that's how good that dude if jesus had come dude that's
what it would be
bingo you know how jesus i would spend a hundred dollars on you know how jesus
walked on water
you know jesus walked on water yes do you think this is the water he walked on
this is it oh yeah
this is jesus water and the other dude that split it apart moses that's that
water
part of the sea well i'd like you to see a video real fast uh let's show the
boys uh show everyone
a little video here friend studio while you sip away okay did you notice any
difference between that
oh my god it did i did taste weird dude oh my god did i just drink tap water
dude you did that to the king
wait did i just drink tap water dude where's my stuff where's my i i swear to
god i was
you know where it is yeah where it's in my mouth is it really water it's right
here
how is that be honest it tastes exactly like water that i've no it doesn't it
tastes the same as
mountain vows give me my water no way give me my look at that okay can i say
this can you believe
look what the boys did they poured you that is bathroom tap water dude dude
dude let me say
something right now wow let me say something right now if i get cancer because
of this it's your
fucking fault look at him look at how meticulous he put the sticker back on
you son of a bitch no don't do that we live here that's insane that's insane
dude take this away
dude that's so funny you know what you like tricks you like tricks we're not
gonna play tricks okay
all right and i'm gonna trick you one day and it's gonna be worse than that i'll
tell you that right
give me your cup i'll pour some some of your delicious that's okay i don't even
trust that anymore
what do you mean this is the 30 dollar bottle they put it in here give me some
of that
like we said in the last episode this is like the it's so funny the philippine
licking uh woman
yeah that's right that's right it's all in your mind see it's all in your mind
so good it's all in
your mind so let me say something that was a good one that was really good and
i'll tell you i tell
you this man it's it would have time to trick me because i had a terrible night
last night what
happened are you trickable right now i'm so trickable dude why well last night
what was last night
what do you mean what was last night last night was just a Halloween it was
Halloween yeah
yeah oh it was was it not it was it was last night was this is Halloween yes it's
tricks a lot of
tricks dude did you hand out any candy no i turn off all the lights the front
porch oh i like it
so i pretend no one's there like a recluse like a recluse right right and i
just look to see if
there's any lights you know sometimes they have candles you know the kids you
know i mean safety
lights yeah none around so i go you know what i'm gonna sleep early tonight 440
pieces of candy i
handed out yesterday that's great yeah and i got a record i dressed up like ken
no the first year i
think i lived in the neighborhood was the most i dressed up like ken we played
music we had a fog
machine uh we had a little dance party on the driveway i had music bumping and
one of the dads came up to
me at the end of the night and said hey thanks a lot for doing this really and
that's all that i
wanted oh god yeah because i think it's important for the kid man i i don't
live in a neighborhood
i'm not that does that i'm not saying you you live in the hollywood hills you
guys the hills they don't
do it in the hills the hills they have eyes they have deep their deep steep steeps
yeah by the way
that's where kids go to get kidnapped up in the hollywood hills you're flatland
i'm in the flats
kiddo with the mexicans yes that's exactly oh shit i shouldn't say that my
point is this i would
love to hand out candy but they just never around well they don't come to my
they all come to my
hood so last night i go you know what's hung on with sleep early right i go to
bed but i forget
guess what i forget it's a masturbate no oh that's true oh my god carlos how
did you call that
that is true that is true yeah he just knows no i told him earlier i forgot
what did you forget to
do last night eat eat dinner oh no so you had to wake up in the middle of the
night and eat something
no not the middle night four in the morning that's the middle of the night i go
i go to bed at nine
p.m yes that's impossible i try you went to bed at nine p.m yeah i was that
tired
no fucking what were you sick no so you went to bed at nine i'm gonna go to bed
at nine like a
christian hey hey cross off because i don't do the hollywood thing i'm more i'm
christian on
halloween do you say a prayer before you go to sleep i do dear god let's hear
your little prayer
dear god amen he fills in the middle you gotta let him do it i let him fill the
middle dude blank
check right it's a blank check well you know jesus take the wheel jesus take
over this prayer
yeah finish it for me well what jesus i should have filled it in because what
he gave me was a
stomach ache yeah all right but go to four in the morning i wake up what first
you know gunner
yeah gunner gunner you knew gunner is your dog no i have a cat named the orange
cat gunner yeah
at around four in the morning if i don't put earplugs in i hear
you know what is that so bad it sounds it could be anything no dude i'm so shit
dude i'm
the next fucking police academy warrior i'm michael winslow dude
hmm they hired me dude let me hear you do a garbage truck
okay pretty good give me another one uh let me hear you do something
what's that you when you come yes yeah how about how about this
you drinking toilet water you lifting up a lid and drinking toilet water
bing bing yes yes i get it thank you so i'm good you're very good anyway i hear
it's gunner trying to get in my room cat scratch fever yeah yeah which i wake
up and i go oh gunner
trying to get it and also i'm hungry why don't you just leave the door open for
i can't why
because i have zoomies because they run around the room yeah cats at night that's
their time yeah so
they just zoom zoom all over the bed and stuff right what's the matter just
like another case
to not have cats it's just like all the things it's fine they poop inside they
zoom me in the
middle of the night they scratch your door they don't want to be pet you can't
take them on a
walk they're no fun to play with yeah anyway so um i wake up and i go oh i'm
hungry i'm not gonna
be able to go back to bed so i had one thing in the fridge and guess what it
was kimchi i have that
already okay that's a given i feel like what is it turk how is it tur turds turds
you have packed
turds again there's two words tur and ch turd chips turkey chick turkey chicken
no turkey chicken
almost turkey sausage turkey turkey chips oh potato chips man no turkey cheese
cheese chili turkey
chili man we were way off
turkey chili turkey chili and i had one of those from air one yeah well another
fifty dollar
yeah fifty dollar of but it's been there forever right but how long you think
it could be a year a whole year it could be i don't know you're crazy crazy so
i put it in a bowl i
microwave it right and then i eat it all i'm hungry still and i remember the
other night i got a big
gigantic pint of dryers rocky road ice cream breyers or dryers b or d big
difference breyers
you choose i don't know i think breyers i had myself some jennies before i came
here delicious
the best yeah but i'm lactose anyway i eat half of it you think you're lactose
intolerant or is it
just because you eat stuff like a year old turkey chili that you have a bad
stomach i don't know dude
and then i go i feel fine so i go you know what i'm