Name: Rudy's One Piece Birthday | Ep 194 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2023-11-27T17:00:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy's One Piece Birthday | Ep 194 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy's One Piece Birthday | Ep 194 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-27. Transcript available.

Rudy's One Piece Birthday | Ep 194 | Bad Friends

- Merch!
- We got merch and check this hat out.
I've been wearing it on stage, have you seen me?
- Look at this dude, look at this shirt.
This is the OG shirt, the OG design is back.
And also, Bad Friends on the back.
- In the back.
- The cute little faces on the front,
Bad Friends on the back, go to badfriendsmerch.com.
We also have coffee mugs for people that like coffee
and beautiful beanies in a couple different colors.
But go get some OG merch.
We're releasing new stuff as we go.
Bob and I are in a competition to see
who can design the best shirt.
But for now, you want the OG original stuff.
- Happy holidays.
- Happy holidays, get this for someone that you love.
- Go to badfriendsmerch.com, badfriendsmerch.com.
- Hey! - Hey guys, we're on tour.
We're gonna go to Minneapolis, Minnesota.
- We're, Minnesota, what happened to Minnesota?
- Every day for a summer.
- Every day for a summer, Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Then we go to Madison, Wisconsin to end this year.
Madison, Wisconsin, and Minneapolis.
Next year, we're bouncing around.
Atlantic City, Salt Lake City, Temecula, Reno, Sacramento.
- Sacramento, Long Beach.
- Long Beach, Snoop Dogg.
- Windsor, Ontario, bro.
- Windsor, Ontario, Canada.
Then we go to Niagara Falls, Tucson.
Where do we end 420?
- Las Vegas, Nevada.
- Gotta come see us.
Go to badfriendspod.com.
Badfriendspod.com.
- You two are bad friends.
- Who are these two idiots?
- A white dude and an Asian dude.
- You two are disgusting.
- You two are something.
- We're bad friends.
- Hey, happy birthday.
- Happy birthday.
- I'm Zorro.
- I'm Zorro.
- Oh, who, who, who, who, who.
- Monkey!
- Monkey!
- Is his name Monkey?
- Monkey D. Luffy.
- Monkey what?
- I can't get this on my head.
- It's okay, kiddo.
- No.
- Help, flip the, hold on.
- I'll be over.
- No, you're fine.
- Oh, you do this?
- Yeah?
- Wow.
- There it is.
Monkey L, Monkey D. Luffy.
Monkey D. Luffy.
Monkey D. Luffy.
Monkey D. Luffy.
Monkey D. Luffy.
Monkey D. Luffy.
Monkey D. Luffy.
Happy birthday.
Look at a one piece blanket for the jewels.
- One piece blanket for you.
- Are you excited?
- Excited for-
- Yeah, it's the best.
- Yeah?
- And look at, we got you a gift on there.
- We have the script for the two piece.
- One piece?
- Yeah, two piece and three piece.
And it's gonna be-
- Yeah.
- One piece, two piece, three piece.
- Yeah.
- Can you guys, like, do your, like, famous lines?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You ready?
- Yeah.
- You know?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I practice it.
Right?
- Okay.
- To the window!
To the walls!
- Yeah.
- Till Zorro's got big balls!
Oh, these one piece crawl!
Oh!
That's not it.
Carlos, that's what he sent me.
- This is what he sent me.
- Yeah, I texted you that.
I'm on the treetops with my Montgomery Ward pass.
- Yeah!
Is that not it?
- No!
- What's my famous line?
- That's not the line?
- What's my famous line?
- That doesn't make any sense, Montgomery Ward!
- Yeah, that's why I texted you.
- You betrayed me!
- What is the line I'm supposed to say?
- Yeah, what's the line?
- So you have three swords.
You attack with three swords.
- Three is unnecessary.
Who holds the third one, my dick?
- Mouth!
- I hold it in my mouth?
- Uh-huh.
- I go...
- Yeah!
- How can he say his line with the mouth?
- I don't know, Zorro says it.
- What Zorro says it?
What does Zorro say?
- Santorio!
- Santorio!
- Santorio!
- What is Monkey Man?
- You say, "Gamma Gama Bazooka!"
- Gamma Gama Bazooka!
- Do-do-do!
- Santorio!
Santorio!
- Santorio!
- Shut up, dude.
I'm doing it.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Santorio!
- Gama Gama Kucha!
What was mine?
- Gama Gama Bazooka.
- Okay, go, right, right.
- Hold on, hold on.
- Gama Gama Bazooka, go ahead.
- Santorio!
- Gama Gama Bazooka!
- Mm-hmm, and your hand, like, stretches, like, really far,
'cause you're a rubber.
- You got a big finger.
- Oh, is it my finger or my hand?
- Any.
- Any? Okay, right.
- All right, we'll do it again.
Here, ready?
- You gotta make it serious!
- We are!
- He's serious!
- Santorio!
- Gama Gama Bazooka!
- If that's not it, now clap for us.
Happy birthday, Rudy Jules.
What did you get in the bag there?
And how old are you today, 40?
- 22.
- Ooh, those lines in your face are bad.
You do look old.
- It's Nausica!
I don't believe you got this.
This is from Andres.
- No way!
That's from me and Bob.
- Dude, we went to this fucking bitch.
We went to the store yesterday.
We went to Little Tokyo.
- Little Tokyo.
- No.
- Yeah, we did!
- Yeah, we did.
- We went to Little Tokyo yesterday, dude!
- Santorio!
- I got a bazooka!
- This is the best!
- What is it?
- It's Nausica.
- It's Nausica.
- That's great.
I remember I picked that.
Nausica.
- No, you did.
He picked that.
- Yeah, first edition.
It's the first one they printed.
- Isn't that incredible?
- Thank you, Andres.
- Okay.
Dude, that's so ungrateful.
- That's so disrespectful.
- Disrespectful.
- I know!
Andres got this for me.
- Okay, can I also say this?
On the car, she goes,
"You know, I'm a loser.
I have no friends."
She said, "You're not saying that I have no friends."
And I go, "Well, you're friends with Bobby Lee
and Andrew Santino.
That's not good enough?"
- Pretty huge, I would say.
- I would say it's pretty fucking huge, dude.
- And you also got-
- Marl!
- Santoro!
- Where's Gama?
- Come on, dude.
- No, but I'm gonna see the doll if I don't have it.
- Oh, wait, wait.
- When I do mine, you do have to do that.
- I know, but-
- Santoro!
- Gama Gama Bazooka!
- Another Zorro!
That's so bad!
- Relax.
- Relax.
- Relax.
Happy birthday.
- There's no Gama Gama?
- And another Zorro!
- Santoro!
- Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, dog.
Where's the Gama Gama?
Monkey, monkey.
- I thought she would want the Zorro only, not monkey.
- Why am I dressed like this then?
- Bobby, Bobby, we were the ones that brought those gifts.
- I know, I-
- We were the ones that bought those-
- We left at the store.
- Yes.
- I bought four of them, we left at the store.
- We left at the store.
- We had to go get it.
- So how happy are you today?
- 10 out of 10.
- 10 out of 10, good gift-giving.
- Good gif-gif-big-gif.
And let me say this to you.
Now let's transition back into the show.
- Yeah.
- Enough of her nonsense.
- Okay, I-
- So you're pissed off at Carlos,
and because you're best friend, Andrew, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- Can I say this too?
- So funny.
- I don't even, we have to air this?
You, me?
- Yeah.
- What?
- You, man.
- What?
- That fucking Zoom meeting, you made me look like a fool.
- You have another one on Monday.
- You made me look like a fool.
- Why?
- Don't ever do that again.
- Okay, explain.
- And now they think I'm a fucking asshole.
- No, for the fans, so for the fans know,
we are creating new merch shirts,
my edition and Bob's edition,
and we're gonna see which one you guys like the most.
And all we had to do was call a Zoom,
a 10-minute Zoom with the merch company
to pitch what we wanted our editions to be,
our special edition.
- Uh-huh.
- And how did he mess that up?
- Uh-huh.
- What's wrong?
- What's up?
- What happened?
- What happened?
- What do you mean?
- What happened on the Zoom that you are mad at him about?
- Yeah, he did it.
- What did he do?
- He set it up.
- And so why are you mad?
- I wasn't ready.
- Okay, we've known about it for weeks.
- I am, I told him.
- For weeks.
- I told him I wasn't ready.
- You told him you weren't ready.
- I told him I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready, right?
Because you have to do it, I'm not ready.
- Got it.
- And then he puts me in the Zoom.
- Yeah.
- And now they think I'm an asshole.
And I know this happened.
I know that after I was off,
you had to apologize on my behalf.
Like, I don't know, I'm sorry guys, right?
- Not at all.
They're so used to work with artists.
- I don't like the way he just said that.
You know what he just said?
They're so used to working with-
- Pre-Madonna's.
- Pre-Madonna's.
- Yeah, Pre-Madonna.
- Difficult people.
Is that what you're saying?
- That's what he said.
- I wasn't being difficult.
You fucked me.
And you put me in a difficult situation.
- You have another one on Monday.
This coming Monday.
- That's tomorrow.
What time?
- Yeah, because of you.
- At 1:00 PM.
- I can't hear you that well when you're not talking to Mike.
- At 1:00 PM, it's in your calendar.
- Yeah, you're gonna have to push it.
I don't know it.
I don't know anything.
- It's the middle of the night, 1:00 PM.
- But he chose the time.
- Yeah, you're gonna push it to Tuesday.
- Okay.
- Honestly, push it to Tuesday.
I don't know the, don't get, see, that's, hold on.
- Chill, chill, chill.
- Oh no.
- Santoro!
- Cava, cava, cava, bazooka!
Let me just, can I just, I wanna say this, okay?
Okay, I wanna say this, okay?
- Yes.
- Don't act like I'm having the attitude, okay?
You're having the attitude, all right?
I'm just being me.
I'm not ready.
- We're really taking it away from her birthday.
- Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday.
- So listen, you're 22.
- 22.
- 22.
- That's amazing.
You have no friends in America, you said.
- Mm-hmm.
- You're just working constantly.
- Who is that?
- Oh my God.
- Wow.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- No, you have to answer it, you have to answer it.
You have to answer it.
- You have to answer it.
- It's Matas.
- Answer it.
- Okay, answer it.
- Speaker.
- Matas.
Napakos podcast.
Oh, napakos podcast.
- Napakos podcast, napakos podcast, napakos podcast.
- Napakos, napakos podcast.
- Napakos, napakos podcast.
- Huh?
- Bye.
- Bye, bye, bye.
- Show us, show us.
Santoro.
- Okay, bye Matas, bye.
- She didn't want to see us.
- She didn't want to see us at all.
She was so, oh my God.
- So upset.
- We have something else for.
- Oh, shit.
It's Jollibee Spaghetti.
- Jollibee Spaghetti.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday.
That's enough.
- That's enough.
- No, no, no, she doesn't get the whole song.
That's insane.
- You have to make a wish.
Macon, good job lighting seven of the 10 candles.
Close your eyes, hold on.
Got to make it.
No, let her have the other ones unlit.
That does, that's a symbolic.
What'd you wish for?
- Nothing.
- Good, good.
Well, you got it and you got it.
Let her eat the spaghetti.
- You have to manifest something, man.
- Yeah, you got to manifest friendship.
- Manifest something, man.
- Why don't you manifest a little bit of friendship
here in the United States?
- So just close your eyes right now and manifest something.
- Okay.
- Try it again, think.
We'll all think together for you.
- Okay.
- Okay.
What'd you think?
- Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends.
- Four of 'em.
- That's it.
Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends, five.
- That's good.
- Five friends?
That's great.
- Let's hope you get a friend.
- So it'd be like the show, friends, six people.
- Well, five now.
I'm sorry, it was right there.
- That was so good, dude.
- I'm sorry, it was right there.
- I set you up.
That was great.
- I'm sorry, it was right there.
- Yeah, yeah, five people.
- And you know what?
- What?
- Okay.
- Santana!
- I got to take this off, it's fine.
- No, you have to leave it on.
It's for her birthday.
- I hate it.
- You're the captain.
He loves the hat.
- Just move it back out of your eyes a little bit.
There you go.
Good?
Good boy.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Wait, wait, what kind of captain?
- He's the captain of his ship, the pirate.
- How many people are on the ship?
- There's you, Zoro, Nami, Sanji.
- You're saying five or six people?
- Chopper, Brooke, Frankie, Jinbei.
- Oh, can you handle that kind of responsibility?
That's a lot of people on your ship.
- No, but-
- Can I kick Jinbei off?
- But you, Luffy's really irresponsible,
so you're the same.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what?
- Luffy, the captain.
- So the captain is an irresponsible captain?
- Yeah, he doesn't do captain.
- Wait, wait, I thought I was the captain.
- You are, you're Luffy.
- I'm Luffy too?
- Your name is Luffy.
- What's the monkey part?
His first name.
- That's his name.
- Luffy the monkey.
- Oh, monkey to Luffy, my bad.
- Isn't that it, monkey to Luffy?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
