Name: I'm Bobby Mom With Bobby's Mom | Ep 200 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2024-01-08T17:00:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I'm Bobby Mom With Bobby's Mom | Ep 200 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I'm Bobby Mom With Bobby's Mom | Ep 200 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-08. Transcript available.

I'm Bobby Mom With Bobby's Mom | Ep 200 | Bad Friends

You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are just...
It looks really cool.
You two are something.
We're bad friends.
Okay, go.
200 episodes.
It's going smooth.
That was it.
That was it.
That was the intro.
That was the intro.
Damn it.
Go ahead.
Got a train.
Should feel so good.
Anyway, welcome to another episode.
What is this?
200.
200.
This is our 200th episode from Las Vegas, Nevada.
Welcome to bad friends from Las Vegas, Nevada.
We had a little fun last night.
We came in.
We went out to a nice, beautiful family dinner, didn't we?
Talking about came in.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
Talk about it.
I did it.
Yeah?
Yeah, man.
Did you make sweet love last night?
No.
By myself.
Two pillows.
Are you being serious?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Face me a little bit, will you?
Let's go pee.
You turn and face me.
Move your chair that way so you're angled towards me.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I want to look at my guy.
Oh, sorry.
We have to connect.
I want to look at my guy.
We have to connect.
You know, can I say something?
Say it, baby.
You're a master of all things.
Oh, don't do it.
You are.
Can I tell you why you're the master of all things?
Tell me why.
Number one, you know, you know so many things about great number of things,
like for instance,
gambling.
You're good at-
This is why I made you face this way so you wouldn't watch the people walking
by because
he's distracted by anything.
I'm so distracted by the people.
If a butterfly flies by this guy, an hour and a half, you're like my dog with a
squirrel.
Yeah.
You just can't let it go.
Can I just say something?
Please.
Yes.
You're the master of all things.
Like when we went bowling one time, you're so good.
But also then gambling last night, I started winning because you're next to me
and you're
like, you're very good.
You know, manly things.
You also know things about like restaurants and stuff like, if I go out, you go
out, I can
go over here, this one.
And what did we do last night when we gambled?
Who won money last night?
Well, let's start from the beginning.
Let's start from all the way to the beginning.
First of all, you went, okay.
So number one, you go, I go, I texted you.
I'm like, where are we going to, you know, eat?
Do you know any restaurants?
And you're like, don't worry about it, which is like, you know what I mean?
Don't worry about it.
He knows that.
Don't worry about it.
We went to a restaurant last night called Delilah.
Delilah.
Right?
It was probably one of the greatest restaurants I've been to in the last three
and a half
years.
That's pretty good.
Three and a half.
Yeah.
That's really good.
It's pretty good.
What'd you eat?
Psych.
Let me list off what you ate.
Hamachi crudo.
You had tuna tartare.
You had pigs in a blanket, chicken fingers, truffle fries, crab Caesar salad,
regular Caesar
salad, tomahawk steak.
Branzino, carrot souffle, roasted cauliflower, ice cream sundae, sexy chocolate
brownie.
What was it called?
Slutty brownie.
I don't eat that.
I don't eat that.
Three Diet Cokes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I spilled one.
On me?
On you.
I spilled a Diet Coke on you.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
On her new dress.
Jessica, you got a brand new outfit.
You spilled an entire Diet Coke on you.
I didn't even care.
I was having so much fun.
I was like, pour another one.
So we had a delicious little dinner.
Amazing dinner.
Then afterwards, we're like, what do we do?
What does one do in the Las Vegas area?
So we went gambling.
We had to.
And then I started winning.
Oh, can I just say this?
Before even Delilah, I won $2,000, remember?
You won $2,000 in a machine.
And I said, what are you going to do with the $2,000?
I bought two jackets.
Two jackets.
That's what he bought right away.
Two jackets.
At Aviator Nation.
Steve, you got to do it, dude.
You got to do it.
You got to spend.
If you're going to get it, you got to give it away.
I also have to say about this wind casino.
Do you like it?
Uh-oh.
So the more you sing the song, the more I think you actually made love to
somebody.
A pillow.
So anyway, before we went to Delilah's, I won and I got the two things.
And then I have to say that the night before, I was here by myself and I went
to this place.
You went to Best Friend.
Best Friend.
Yeah.
How many times have you been here?
Throughout my life?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Remember, I've done some, probably a hundred.
And this one you love a lot.
Yeah, I've been coming here since, the first time I ever came was 1996 where I
opened for Pauly.
Where do you, what room do you guys play?
At the Riviera.
Oh, wow.
And then, you know, I performed at five minutes.
And then Mitzi came up to me after the show and she goes, you're a paid regular.
And that's where my journey really began.
You got passed here.
Oh, yeah.
That's wild.
I didn't know that story.
I thought you got passed in LA.
Yeah.
So Mitzi was out here when they used to have a house.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
What feels so good?
Penetrating, feels so good.
Exactly, dude.
Also, the 200th episode feels pretty good.
And we have a special surprise.
We have a special surprise.
Yes, we do.
What is it?
What is it?
It's very special.
Do you guys want to see it?
Yeah, I'd love to.
Okay.
Carlos.
I get to see your penis finally.
Yes.
Yeah.
Oh my goodness.
My mom's here?
My mom's here?
It's mommy mom.
Mom, mom, mom, mom.
Mom.
It's mommy mom.
Why are you in a wheelchair?
Because Carlos broke her.
No, why are you in a wheelchair?
Because I want to surprise you.
Yeah, but you can't walk anymore?
She's just tired.
Really?
She's like you.
She's tired.
I'm crippled.
No, no.
She doesn't need the headphones.
No, because I couldn't sleep last night.
Yeah.
Because I want to see you.
Oh, I love you, mom.
Oh my God.
But a surprise.
That is so sweet.
Ladies and gentlemen.
I walked here, not flying.
Oh, you walked here?
That's why you're not.
This is so shocking that you brought me.
I feel so bad that I sang the penetration song.
Why don't you sing it again to your mom?
Mom, mom, I wrote a song.
Didn't I tell you I want to see you in my dream last night?
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
That's you?
That was you?
Yeah.
You were a bullfrog.
I saw a bullfrog last night and that was my mom, I guess.
She goes, I'm going to see you in dreams.
Sing her the song that you wrote for her.
Pay the trace!
No, that's not.
That's not right.
It is.
No.
Anyway, mom, when's the last time you went to Vegas?
About 40 years ago.
What'd you do here?
I lost $20.
And back then, that was like $20,000.
$20 back then was like $20,000.
Yeah, like 1814.
I guess that was a lot of money back then.
Yeah, yeah.
You were here and you lost $20.
What'd you lose it on?
What'd you gamble?
What did you play?
Quarter, quarters.
Quarters?
What's quarters?
I don't know what quarters is.
Quarter.
Quarter machine.
Oh, the slot machine.
Yeah, yeah.
Quarter slot.
Oh, slot.
Me on it.
Slot machine.
Slot machine.
You know what your mom said to me?
She said,
All right, don't do that.
Don't cut it out.
Oh, my God.
Byeongcheng.
Byeongcheng.
Byeongcheng.
Byeongcheng.
Byeongcheng.
Byeongcheng.
Byeongcheng, yeah.
Mentally handicapped, yeah.
Well, she's, she's ching.
She's not byeongcheng.
She's handicapped.
Yeah.
So, she's half of it.
Please don't say that about my mom.
Well, you said Byeongcheng,
and I just put it together.
It's mentally handicapped.
Please don't ever say that about my mom.
What does Byeongcheng mean?
See, they're doing it again.
I'm not Byeongcheng.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, look.
Yeah, yeah, no.
She's just tired.
She's old.
Right?
I know.
You son of a bitch, dude.
Don't ever do that.
In the quarter slots, Bobby last night won $1,000, $2,000.
Really?
$2,000.
Ask him for something.
And you put it in again, and you lost.
No, I bought, no.
I cashed out, and I bought jackets.
Oh, good.
I want my shirt, too.
What do you mean?
Tottenham shirt.
You want a Tottenham shirt?
Uh-huh.
Number seven.
Because of son?
Son.
Uh, mom, do you, fuck mom.
Hey.
No, not fuck.
No, fuck you, man.
No, hey.
Hey.
Now, fuck you, too, dude.
Hey, chill out.
I want to say something with mom, okay?
Mm-hmm.
You know that Tottenham is, you know, what team do I like?
Arsenal.
Yes.
Who is their main enemy?
Tottenham.
Tottenham.
Because of Sony.
No, that's not because of Sony.
It's just, they're rivals.
You can't just be all like, I like Tottenham now.
Because of Sony.
She likes Tottenham because there's a Korean dude.
Yeah.
Name, what's his name?
Right?
Sony.
I know, Sony.
Hongmini.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
Why do you like him?
Because she's Korean.
You like everything Korean, huh?
Yeah, everything Korean.
Yeah.
Really?
Is there anything Korean that you don't-
Talk on the mic.
Yeah, you got to talk on the mic.
I am.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
He didn't care.
Mom, how are you doing in Phoenix?
Okay, you're doing okay?
Wonderful.
How old are you now?
Awesome.
How old are you now?
How old are you?
80.
80, wow.
In two months.
In two months?
So, don't call, don't send me any, you know, congratulations on my birthday.
You don't want me to say congratulations you made it to 80?
You didn't do last year.
You didn't wish your happy birthday last year.
I didn't say happy birthday last year?
No, even Steven didn't do.
So, I'm going to let him know when it's my birthday again, you know?
It's February 13th.
It's February 13th.
Okay, can I say this though?
Mm-hmm.
We don't do holidays.
You know, we, our family doesn't do it.
No, I do it on your birthday.
Barely, no.
No, every, every year I do.
Yeah, but you don't send anything.
You just say happy birthday.
No, no, no.
Oh, that's what I want.
Oh, that's what February 13th, you want birthdays.
No, I don't want any money.
I didn't say money.
I just said, all right, from now on then.
February 13th, I'll give you.
Just to say, mom, happy birthday to you.
That's all I want.
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
Is it too much to ask?
No, it's not too much to ask.
It's not too much to ask.
What's so funny?
From now on, you're 53.
What do you mean?
From now on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You learned that in like 12.
Yeah.
You do?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
What do you mean?
What do you learn at 12?
To be respectful to your mother.
Yeah.
Okay, you're right, mom.
You got to buy her that shirt now.
What shirt?
The team jersey.
I'm going to get your Tottenham shirt.
Yeah.
I'm going to get you a Tottenham shirt.
Why don't you get her?
Why don't you buy that today?
Why don't you give her that shirt today?
Like a big one.
A big one.
Because I don't like small clothes.
Okay, okay.
I like 2X.
2X?
2X, why?
No, it's like pajamas.
What?
Pajama.
I like a pajama.
Yeah, but you know soccer jerseys aren't fun to sleep in, mom.
I know.
What are you going to wear?
You're going to just wear it?
Wear it at home.
You're going to wear it at home?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, I'll get you one.
And a dark color.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dark.
Dark color.
No white.
Mom, Tottenham's colors is white and blue.
No, they have a...
No, they have a brown.
They have green.
Oh, they have an away...
They have away kits.
As long as it's not white, right?
You don't like white.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't like white anything.
I don't choose this white.
Yeah.
He doesn't like white anything.
My face is white.
Well, I'm white.
You got to talk on the mic, mom.
Always talk here.
You know what she said to me when I went and said hi to her?
She goes...
Oh, I'm not getting used to it.
She said...
I asked her what...
She goes...
Your hair.
Yeah, his hair is red, right?
Yeah, I know.
How do you feel about that?
But it's not red anymore.
Yeah, it's the same color.
It is right now.
It's kind of blonde.
No, it's not...
That's blonde, mom?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Maybe I'm colorblind.
Colorblind, yeah.
Finally, I know I'm colorblind, yeah.
Is she...
Well, let me see.
She flew in today.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's flying back tonight?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you flew in there for this?
Yes.
Okay, good.
Yeah, I'm...
Oh, tonight I'm leaving.
How was the flight?
Good?
Oh, yeah.
Was it Southwest?
Was it Southwest?
Yeah.
You gave her Southwest at 80?
Yeah.