Name: Barnacle Bobby & Lice Balut w/ Rudy and Her Sister | Ep 202 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2024-01-22T17:00:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Barnacle Bobby & Lice Balut w/ Rudy and Her Sister | Ep 202 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Barnacle Bobby & Lice Balut w/ Rudy and Her Sister | Ep 202 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-22. Transcript available.

Barnacle Bobby & Lice Balut w/ Rudy and Her Sister | Ep 202 | Bad Friends

- Hey.
- Hey.
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
- It's the competition.
- The competition is on for only a couple more weeks,
ladies and gentlemen.
You gotta go to badfriendsmerch.com.
We're competing to see who can sell more shirts.
And the loser, the loser has to do what, Robert?
- The loser has to massage the other guy.
- Butt naked.
- Butt naked.
- On camera.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- And everyone's gonna see it across the universe.
So this is my little, beautiful, I'm Bobby Mom shirt.
And he's got his beautiful little cartoon.
Show them.
- Can I just say something about his though?
It's a great shirt.
It's a catchphrase.
- It's great.
- It's like glorious, right?
- Yeah, it's great.
- But you can find that on Etsy.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- But my point is that this one right here,
this Miyazaki one, man, it's so original, it's cute.
You can wear it out.
- Yeah, you can wear it out, okay?
But this one you can wear in.
So wear this inside.
Go to badfriendsmerch.com, badfriendsmerch.com
for this.
Only two more weeks left of this competition.
Once the competition's over,
we don't sell the shirts anymore.
- No more. - That's it.
And also this weekend we're in Salt Lake City,
then Temecula, Reno, Sacramento, Long Beach,
Windsor, Niagara Falls, Tucson.
Then we finish in Vegas.
- April 20th.
- April 20th in Vegas, we end the tour.
So that's it for a while.
We're not gonna tour again until 2025 or something.
Go to badfriendspod.com for those tickets.
Badfriendspod.com.
- You two are bad friends.
- Who are these two idiots?
- A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
- You two are something.
- We're bad friends.
- Hey ladies.
- Lisa, you've done this before, right?
- Yeah, she did it one time.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Good to see you again.
- When did she do it?
- Huh?
- When did she do it, I forgot.
- Last year.
- Last year.
Last year, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- All right, let me see if I won the millionaire jackpot.
And this was given to Bobby
because Carlos hit Bobby's mom in the face.
- Pretty hard.
- Yeah.
- 10 top prizes of a million dollars.
Any of your numbers match the winning numbers?
Okay, so the winning numbers are 15, 2, 28, 36, and 4.
Now, if I win, is it just me and you
or are we gonna give some to the girls?
- Give some.
- Yeah.
- Obviously.
- Not with that attitude.
- Yeah, and after that attitude.
- You know what?
- You dictate.
them. Deport. Okay, good. If I don't win, you get deported. We're deporting
them. So if I don't win
even a little bit, even like a dollar, you guys are both going back to the
jungle, baby. You know
where you were? You're in the Philippines, baby. And you're gonna die. All
right. 4, 36, 28, 15,
and two. Let's go. So no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Get out.
Get out. I don't want to go back. Too bad. Too bad. Not my problem. Dude, the
lotto dictated all that. 36, man, I was two off, but twice really tough to win
these things. I don't ever get these things. My whole family loves playing the
lottery and it's the saddest shit. But the big lottery right now,
I just saw on the news, what's the Powerball up to right now? 88 million. Wow.
Shouldn't we get it? I'll buy the ball. You buy the Powerball? I would buy that
gigantic red ball. Wow. That would be amazing. How much is that? What's it? Is
that ball? What is it made of? The Powerball itself? Yeah. Oh, money. I feel
like there's liquid in it. What's in there? It's like Boba. Boba. The Power Boba
ball. But also just a unicorn come. Is inside there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.
That's where it's been the whole time.
Is unicorn come good? No. I don't think so. Yeah, no. It's probably rainbow
color. It's too, because unicorns are so physically active. Right. Right? It's
got to be, it's just. I feel like it would taste good. Like what? They make
Starbucks drinks out of that. Out of unicorn come. Unicorn come? Yeah, the
unicorn come.
I have a venti unicorn come half sweet. Yeah. Well, I didn't know. Is that like
a side menu, special menu? No, it's in the secret menu. That's in the
Philippines. Oh, in the Philippines they have it. Oh, you have unicorn come and
pog pog. Pog what? Pog pog? Oh, he wants me to go pog pogging. Where you go sifting
through the trash. What's pog pog? Where you go sifting through the trash. Yeah,
yeah. What's pog pog? Pog pog is two unicorns.
Fucking, no, no, no. That's not pog pog. Wait, wait, wait. It does make that
sound. It does make that sound. You're right. You're right. You're right. But
isn't there a dish in the Philippines called pog pog? Pog pog? Yeah. P-A-G-P-A-G.
Pog pog. Pog pog's like. He sent it to me. Yeah, I sent it up. Look it up.
It's when you go dumpster diving and you make food out of dumpster diving.
Oh. What's it called there? Look, Pog Pog. Pog Pog. I've never had it, but I
know what it is.
How do you say it? Pog Pog. What the fuck did I just say? Pog Pog. Pog Pog. Say
it again? Pog Pog. No, you say it. Pog Pog. Pog Pog. Oh, Pog Pog.
Yeah, they're sounding like Bug Bug. Oh. Pog Pog. Pog Pog. Pog Pog. Okay. So
what it is, look at these photos. You dig through the trash.
We'll go back to the Wikipedia, because I think it says, there's a literal
definition of it. It's the tagalong term for leftover food from restaurants,
usually from fast food restaurants, scavenged from garbage sites and dumpsters,
and then you collect a dinner out of it. You guys have never heard of this
before or not?
I've seen the exact reel that I think you're talking about. Wow, that's just
insane. Oh, so you've never seen people eat it? No. Oh. Because I thought that
you ate that and did a shot of unicorn cum.
It's probably a tradition somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's tagalong.
You guys speak the other one, Tagalog, right? What is it? No. What's one of you
speak? Visaya. Okay, fucking shut up. How many are there? That island is the
size of, like, Los Angeles. There's a lot. There's a lot of dialects. How big
is the Philippines? It's not that big. It's small. There's just a lot of
islands. There's just so many people, though. It's too many. Not too many. No,
I think so. It's a good amount. Home to 120 and 180, between 120 and 187
languages. That is fucking absurd. That's too many.
In America, we have one. Three. Spanish. Oh, yeah, Spanish. Spanish, baby.
Spanish. Is there a better language? Spanish, no. It's the most globally spoken
language, right? Is it really? I thought English dominated. No, Chinese.
Mandarin. Chinese. Wait. It's Mandarin. You know what? Chinese is Mandarin.
Since you've been here, you've been very fucking, like. You know what? Since
you've been gone. Yeah. I can't breathe for the first time. They're killing it.
I gotta let them go. Oh, good.
So, um. You have to introduce for the people that don't. All right. So, ladies
and gentlemen, boys and girls, hello. Welcome to another episode of Pot Tiger
Belly. I mean, Pot Bad Friends.
Bad Friends. I mean, because I see them all the time. Don't get so angry. But
anyway, ladies and gentlemen, let me start over. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and
girls, welcome to another episode of Bad Friends.
The greatest podcast on Earth with the greatest host, Andrew Santino. What a
handsome young man. Leading actor. Big star. Give him a round of applause,
ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much.
I love this podcast. Anyway, we've got two.
We got two beautiful. We got, you know, a regular here. She's a part of the
family. We've got fucking Jules here. But then her sister from the Philippines
is here for a couple of weeks.
You're leaving tomorrow. I am. Yeah. But, um, it was really good to see you.
And so give her a round. Issa, give her a round. What's your, what's your
Instagram tag? Because I know you like followers.
Because you always want me to like, you always like, should I tag you on this?
No, because it's last time. Or you want to repost it? No. Every time we take a
fucking photo. No, she wants to be famous.
No, she wants to be famous. So every time we take a photo, you're always like,
uh, you want to collaborate or you want to. No, no, no, no. And I'm always like,
fuck you. So my point is, throw your Instagram out.
Okay. It's, it's a Vera, but with a double Z and an R. Okay. Double R. You
heard it here first. Yeah. Yeah. How old are you now?
I'm 15. Don't show her Instagram to anybody. What are we talking about? She's a
kid. She's got to be thinking of followers. Oh yeah. It was so weird. And when
like the people like from here found me.
Yeah. They started like bombarding my DMs with like the weirdest thing. Gross.
This is disgusting. Wow. This is our family here on this show. You can only DM
or even follow her. Click to follow her. Is it private?
Uh, yeah. Good. And you can only even try if you're under 17. Right? Under 17.
She has a boyfriend now though. It doesn't. I'm just saying in general, even if
like. What does that have anything to do with anything right now? I know. You
do have a boyfriend? I do. How old is he? He's 16.
I thought for a second, I thought she said 60 and I was like, welcome to
America. He's 16. You're 15. He can drive? No. They don't have cars there. What?
Oh, you just, is it like the Flintstones? Right. The back of unicorns. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. You, but he can, oh, it's in the Philippines.
That's right. I forgot. There, do you get licenses there at 16 or no? No. Only
at 18. You can only get the, yeah, the student's permit is at 17. And then 18
is the legal driving age. Yeah.
But no one really drives. No, there's a, there's a lot. I mean, you could
afford, your dad's a lawyer.
I like his car. I don't want his car. What does he have? Oh, he just has an Elantra,
but he like tweaked it. So it's like. It's a tricked out Elantra.
Yeah. Wait, Andrew, I want to tell you something. Can I tell you something?
Yeah. We are the best country in the world. We are. We really, a lawyer drives
an Elantra.
I know. Tough times over there. A Mitsubishi Elantra is top tier. Yeah. But
they have running water. That's good. Is that your cousin's name? Running water?
No, but they, they, at one point they didn't have running water. Remember? No
way.
Yeah. No, they did. No, they didn't. No, but your dad has a tricked out Elantra
and you love it.
Yeah. Is he going to give it to you? I hope so. Me too. We'll, we'll tell, we
can ask him. Yeah. Let's ask him.
And then you have two little, two little brothers. Yeah, they want it too. I
have competition. Oh really? Yeah, but you're the old, you're the oldest.
Yeah. So you get it. Are they still crazy or no? Every time I see them, they're
just running around in circles.
Oh, the youngest is crazy. Oh, I just want to like punch him all day. You don't
like him? How old is he? 10. 10. Okay. Yeah, yeah. He's a child. But he's just
so- But they grow up faster there. No, they don't. Yeah, they have, he has a
mustache like fucking Manny Pacquiao. They all have, they're born with mustaches
in the Philippines. What were you going to ask me? What? Oh no, I was going to
tell you that my mom has like the biggest crush on you.
Also, why is there a dick pic on your house? Of what? What's up? Of what? Of
like dicks. There's like a big dick and like small, small dicks like around it.
Polaroids? What are you doing? You have dick pics at your house on the wall? I
literally have no idea. Whose dicks are they? I literally have no idea. Whose dicks
do you have on your wall? I literally have no idea. Whose dicks are on your
wall at your house? First of all, back up. I'll leave you here right now and
get your house to see you. Back up right now. No, because you don't do this to
me. I don't like being challenged. You disrespected me first of all and called
this fucking, uh,
uh, uh, belly tiger bullshit, whatever the fuck that's. I'm going to go to your
house. If there's other dicks on that wall that aren't mine, we're in a fucking
fight. It's your dick, dude. No, it's not. I know. Is it orange? It's kin