Name: A Case Of Lululemon ft. Chris Distefano | Ep 203 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2024-01-29T17:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Case Of Lululemon ft. Chris Distefano | Ep 203 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Case Of Lululemon ft. Chris Distefano | Ep 203 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-29. Transcript available.

A Case Of Lululemon ft. Chris Distefano | Ep 203 | Bad Friends

Hey, guys, Bad Friends.
Listen, this is the last day.
Tomorrow is the last day.
I mean, tomorrow is the last day to get these shirts.
Tomorrow is the last day to get these shirts.
And hopefully I'll be winning the competition because I'm ahead right now.
No, I'm going to win because this is better.
Well, I'm ahead right now.
This is a better shirt.
Go to badfriendsmerch.com to get these, badfriendsmerch.com.
Also, we only have a chunk of dates left.
Temecula, Reno, Sacramento, Long Beach, Windsor, Niagara Falls, Tucson.
And we end in Vegas on 420, man.
Come check us out.
Check us out.
Go to badfriendspod.com, badfriendspod.com.
You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?
White dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
You two are something.
We're bad friends.
We're back, baby.
You ready?
Sing us a song.
Idiot mean is my friend.
No, he's not.
I'm sure he will be at the end.
Yes, he will.
That's it.
That really bummed me out.
Happy New Year to you.
No, no, no.
What?
New Year is over.
Give me the love.
No.
Give me the truck and give me the fudge.
I don't know, man.
Chris DiStefano is in town and we love him.
He's thicky, thicky legs and a lot of gums in his mouth.
Keep going.
I'm just trying to do some things that AI won't be able to copy.
No, AI is going to copy all of us.
They can't do that.
Yeah, they will.
They can't do that.
Your AI was going to be hilarious.
Yes.
It's going to be like,
Cube shot.
Yes, cube shot.
Ladies and gentlemen, our guest today is one of our oldest and dearest friends
who we love
so much.
It's Chris DiStefano.
And Chrissy Chaos is looking real svelte.
My mother used to say svelte when she meant like a thick boy status.
You like that?
You're thick boy.
You know what it is?
It's the corduroy shirt.
I think corduroy shirts, I don't know what it is.
I just feel like I'm like a blanket.
What are we?
No, you know what you're doing?
You're doing the Marc Maron route.
Yeah.
What does that mean?
That.
That look.
The whole look is the Marc Maron, except for the shoes.
And the pants, Maron would never wear tapered off pants.
Oh, that's true.
Lululemons.
I don't think Marc Maron wear Lululemons.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no.
Lululemons.
Lululemon.
Although he is sour, so he might wear Lululemon.
Is that Lululemon?
Lululemon.
Do you have a men's department?
Yes.
Okay, burn.
You ready for this?
What?
Do they?
I've been in there.
I've never seen it.
Of course they have a men's department.
You've been in the men's department?
Also, it's gender fluid, dude.
It is.
Lulu's gender fluid.
Oh, here we go.
Do you know about the creator?
Lulu.
It's got to be somebody's name.
Lemon.
It sounds like.
A fruit.
No.
Oh, you ready?
You're good.
This is, this is.
Damn, dude.
You're good.
No, I'm not done.
I was putting the two together.
Go ahead.
With, you know, Sherlock Holmes is on the crime scene.
You got, he's got to put the evidence and you're my, what's this guy, the guy's
name?
I'm Sherlock.
You're the.
You're Sherlock?
Why can't I be Sherlock?
You're 100%.
Can I be Sherlock?
You're not Sherlock of anything.
Moriarty.
Moriarty.
You're Moriarty.
Moriarty.
You're Watson.
I'm home.
I'll be Watson.
All right, then you show up at the scene.
Well, now, we've got a case of Lululemon on our hands.
What do you think, Watson?
What do I think?
What do I think?
Why?
What is Lululemon?
Why am I Asian?
What are you, Asian again?
You got to be British.
I'm sorry.
Hello, hello, hello.
I don't know.
I don't know, Sherlock.
Sherlock.
Why is it called Lululemon?
It's called Lululemon.
And again, you can Google this because the founder of Lululemon was like a
known racist
and he named it that so Chinese people couldn't pronounce it.
Shut the fuck up.
I swear to God, dude.
Google it.
Google Lululemon founder names it so Chinese can't.
Yeah, funny to watch Japanese people try to say it.
Oh, this guy's the best.
Say it.
Say it.
Say it.
What?
Say Lululemon.
Say Lululemon.
Lululemon.
Ruru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru,
ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru,
ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru,
ru, ru, ru, ru, ru, ru.
So the reason the Japanese liked my former skateboard brand Homeless is because
it had an L in it.
And a Japanese marketing firm wouldn't come up with a brand name with an L in
it.
And so it's not their vocabulary.
It's a tough pronunciation for them.
So I thought next time I have a company, I'll make a name with three L's and
see if I can get three times the money.
It's kind of exotic for them.
This is a direct quote.
Whoa.
I was playing with L's and came up with Lululemon.
It's funny to watch them try to say it.
Wilson was quoted as saying, this guy, what's this guy's net worth?
This guy made so much money being a bigot.
And this just shows you kids, you can be racist and still be rich.
Yes.
The whole idea of like racism is bad.
It's not a real idea.
Look at Lululemon.
Made up by the media.
Chip Wilson is his name.
Great name.
68 years old, $6.8 billion.
Billion dollars.
Say billion.
Billion.
See, they can't do that either.
I'm trying to figure out what's, like, let's say we're, you know, creating a
company and we want a top Lululemon.
How would we name it?
Little Lady London.
Little Lady London.
Yeah.
Mary, it got to be, or H, H and L's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because it goes to Hari.
Yeah.
Harry, Mary, no.
Harry, Mary's.
Help out.
You're part of the group.
Harry, Mary, because it's got to be things that we're saying Asian people can't
pronounce.
Yeah, so a lot of L's and R's, right?
R's and L's.
Yeah.
Harry, Mary's, Harry, Mary, Larry's.
Harry, Harry, Harry, Mary, Harry, Mary, Larry's.
Eww.
Contrary.
Contrary.
Little.
Yeah, Little Lizard Loves Ladies.
Oh, the Little Lizard Loves Ladies.
That's it.
Little Lizards Love Ladies.
Yeah.
That's our company.
That's it.
So the store opens, right?
You're a Japanese person.
No, you are.
No, you're the Japanese person.
Nah, dude.
I was the Japanese person last time.
I'm Chip Wilson.
You know what?
I'm the bigot that owns the store.
And I'll be a customer.
Yeah.
All right, so I'm the Japanese guy?
Yeah, you're my partner.
We opened it together.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
Okay, so how are you feeling about the store opening today?
Really good, really good.
I'm so excited.
Did you fix the sign out front?
I fixed.
Some of the letters were out.
What did it say when you were out there?
What do you mean?
The business name.
Was it all out there?
Well, first of all, because you told me to get all the lettering here in Japan.
Yeah.
We don't have the L's and the R's.
No L's and R's?
So I had to go get it from America.
Wow.
So you fuck you.
Sorry about that.
Right, so I had to get a ship down and import it here.
Uh-huh.
Right, so it came last night at three in the morning.
You put it up though?
What?
You put up the sign?
Yeah, what's the name of the store?
Wait, wait, I forgot.
What's the name of our store again?
Oh, well, there's a customer here.
Hi.
Oh, hello.
We're not open.
We're open five minutes.
Hi.
We're doing it.
Excuse me.
Hello.
We're open five minutes.
Okay.
No, welcome him into our store and say the name.
Say welcome to.
I forgot the name.
Little, little.
Hold on, hold on.
Shut the fuck up.
Oh, I'm gonna look, I'm gonna look, I'm gonna look.
Oh, hey, how you doing?
What's your name?
Welcome to?
Welcome to.
What is it?
Little.
Little.
What was it?
Little.
Little what?
Lizard.
I know.
Little, little, little, little, little lizard.
Little lizard, ladies.
Lucky.
Welcome to little lizard, lucky, lucky, lucky.
Hi.
Hi.
Thank you.
Welcome.
I just saw this store.
You do lizard, lucky, lucky.
Yes.
I, um, I, it looks amazing in here.
I may, I don't even know what we're selling, but welcome to, welcome to, lucky,
lucky, lucky.
You know, it's, I'm, um, I'm a woman from America.
Yeah, we can tell.
Yeah, we know.
I'm a lady from America and I'm in Japan.
So it looked like, it looked like they had some things that fit me.
Come on in, there's nothing in here.
No, there's so much product.
I know.
Look at all the stuff we have.
Oh, that's true.
Well, I don't think you, I don't think you'd fit into our stuff.
Oh.
Yeah.
I thought I, I thought I could.
No, I don't think so.
I think you're a little too beefy for us.
You're too beefy for us.
Yeah.
Yeah, get the fuck out of here.
I don't know how to do it.
No, no, yeah, reject her.
In Japan, we say stuff like, get the fuck out of here, bitch.
You fuck ugly.
Give me a sword.
Give me a sword, you can kill yourself.
Yeah.
Anyway, that's, okay.
Okay.
We're going to open up a shop.
Yes.
Oh, by the way, now that we're on Asians, let's talk all things Asian now.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, by the way, Bobby, for-
You brought it up again.
I want to say that I, I want to start off also too before, apologize for last
time
I was in here or two years ago.
I apologize for immediately coming onto the show and pushing my eyes back and
yelling
Donald Trump in your face.
But he's running again, so.
Yeah, so.
No, no.
If it happens again.
Wait, did you get in trouble for it?
No.
No.
No, but I-
You get some heat online, be honest.
No, sometimes, but I just wanted to say-
Because when you did that, you know what they say about me now?
What?
That Bobby hates his own-
Yes.
Because I, I watched that happen and I don't think of this shit.
Right.
So, online now, I can say Bobby hates himself.
You know how-
And where he comes from and his ethnicity.
So, fuck you, dude.
Wait, you know what happens?
Fuck you, Donald Trump.
People, because people, people have messaged me and said, you know, just
because he laughs
at that doesn't mean you can say that about all Asian people.
And they're right.
And they're right.
So, I want to-
That's not, they're not right.
No, but I want to say to them, I want to say to the Asian, to the people who
are mad at me,
I am very sorry.
You know how in the, you know how they say in the black community, they say,
Uncle Tom?
Yeah.
You're Uncle Chang.
You're Uncle-
Uncle Chang.
Uncle Chang.
Uncle Chang.
Somebody online make an Uncle Chang shirt.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe I want Uncle Chang.
Uncle Chang.
Uncle Chang right now.
No, I don't think it's right in society, but in the chambers and also-
Of comedy?
In the ecosystem of comedy.
Yeah, come on.
Fine.
It should be said.
Give me a break.
So, in the Asian world, I want to congratulate Steven Yeun and Ali Wong and the
entire cast
and crew of Beef for winning.
And Andrew's on the show, so give them a round of applause.
Andrew just won a fucking Golden Globe.
I didn't, first of all, I didn't win a Golden Globe.
Did you go?
But you're a part of it.
No, of course I didn't go.
So, he's a part of it.
He's a part of it.
I have nothing to do with it.
Right.
You're in the show.
I'm on a couple episodes.
I'm a guest star.
Yeah.
So.
Give him a round of applause.
No, no, no, no.
I didn't win anything.
They did.
And also, more importantly than that, I just want to get that out of the way
because
this one's, I just wanted to do, you know, you start with something nice and
then you
go back.
I do want to congratulate Korea as a whole.
Yes.
We are, they finally announced that they are banning the consumption of dog
meat in Korea.
Woo!
But not right away.
There's like two or three more years.
Yeah, it's not going to be until 2055, but it is going to happen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I'm dead serious.
It is going to be a long time.
What do they say?
They're banning it?
I don't agree with it.
I think they should, if it's culture and it's customary to do that, then they
should do that
and not take the dog meat away from the people who love the dog meat because
there's
pressure from the Western world to do that.
I think if you and your people want to eat dog meat, if you are dog meat eating
people,
then you should continue to eat your dog meat with your chopsticks and sit on
the floor.
No, no, no.
Well, they have until 2027 to stock up.
By the way, everyone's just going to have freezers fi