Name: Coco The Side Piece | Ep 211 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2024-03-25T16:00:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Coco The Side Piece | Ep 211 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Coco The Side Piece | Ep 211 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-25. Transcript available.

Coco The Side Piece | Ep 211 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
you two are something we're bad friends all righty one two three welcome to
another episode
of bad friends i'm your captain and this is my sidekick no no and true no no no
this is my side
guy my side hustle no no no peace my side piece no i'm the side piece first of
all you're never
a side you're not even a part of the gang right now well you're a side chunk
you're not a side
you're a side that's a pretty big piece that's a pretty big piece you know you
also could i just
say something too um you're a little deceiving no i i saw the last episode i
never lied i told you that
i haven't done stand-up in five years that's not what i'm talking about oh you
know when you make
assumptions somebody gets bit no is that a term i just made that up i think i've
i've got a couple
of phrases jumbled up there but um when it's not broke fix it but if you break
it anyway uh
listen bud um i don't like being lied to i don't like being deceived i don't
like um
your rabble rousing that word i agree can we move on no no we can't move on
until i address this issue
okay what's your name no did esther tell you no okay what's your name greg no
no no no if you think we
don't know okay we know what's your name what do you i thought this was gonna
be about paulie
i know what it is by the way are you chewing gum and eating potato chips i'm
practicing being a father
by the way i had a dream where there was three babies and beanies and neon beanies
running they
were your babies stop stop stop stop stop i know what you're trying to do right
now it's not gonna work
we're gonna talk about this issue and then we're gonna move on okay is it
because i did paulie's
podcast no it has nothing well it's a little bit something to do with it yeah
you can't do any other
podcast by that way but he promised me a pup cup if me and buster behaved all
right these little
little whimsical things you're doing right now these cute things you're doing
right now usually it works
with me because i think it's working a little bit now because i want to i want
to kind of move on
i don't know because so cute but my point is um what's your name friend greg no
what is your legal
name why would that be a bra okay don't yell okay oh that's right i'm wearing
microphone yeah
we're wearing microphones yeah okay we're strapped or we're strapped my dog oh
but why would that
make you mad what is your good i don't like being lied to that's all it's uh greg
is my middle name
in my id what's your first name though on your id who did you get this from
okay sorry goop
goop make this easier oh they does he know we know is it am i gonna prematurely
give information
can i tell you what it is or is that okay is that the game we're playing okay
your name is krikor
krikor you know actor told you krikor your name is krikor krikor which
translates to greg
no it doesn't and coco comes in space language fat guy no
that's a klingon name krikor is a klingon name it translates to fat guy first
of all
it's gregor like krikor gregor masculine given name and a surname variants
include gregory gregor
gregory gregory and western american is krikor or krikor okay at this point now
you know my first
name my middle name my last name you know all the schools i've been to my
brother says don't give
out your social security number and now everything anyone needs to change my
passwords are pretty
much on this podcast yeah yeah okay yeah we don't want to go to your middle
name right now or your
last name okay okay you're doing your cute thing and it's really for me because
i kind of want to
move on but um no let's stick to krikor yeah no thank you so much friend yeah
what the so why don't
you just go by krikor i had 27 years to decide if i want to be krikor i decided
i want to be greg so
we can drive down glendale you and i and there's there could be somebody on the
side of the street
that going krikor i will walk by what i will just walk by i know but there are
people out there that
that that know you as krikor no no no no no they either know me as coco or greg
no one with a k no
one knows you as coco dude they do you've been trying that since day one trying
to get coco to stick
and it's not going to stick with me i'm never going to call you that okay who
knows who who comes with
their own nickname family i don't honestly i thought today was going to be fun
i had a rough week i i keep
getting chicken nuggets chicken impossible nuggets stuck in my toaster and i
got then i got stuck
under a weighted blanket okay see what he's doing stop it stop it stop it why
are you putting nuggets
in the toaster because you get them crispy my fourth toaster this year do you
have an oven it's not
plugged in i no it's i don't the oven isn't plugged in the oven i'm not gonna
do you have an air fryer
i have an air fryer but that's not plugged in either it's so much fun putting
chicken nuggets in
the toaster and then they pop up and then you have to catch them and then you
have to get them out but
it smokes and then you think how long can i let it smoke i might have you guys
turn off his mic
no yeah i'm supposed to be a side piece this is it's just yeah you're our side
chicken nugget okay
okay but first of all yeah plug in the oven plug in the air fryer why can't you
not do you not know
how to you do that unplug and plug i know how to use a toaster but do you know
how to plug an unplug
thing yeah you do so can you unplug your toaster and plug in the oven or
whatever well it's burnt
i need a new toaster but yeah okay buy this guy a new toaster please no oh yeah
i will yeah you buy it
yeah well listen up krikor no krikor no that sounds more korean than bobby krikor
i am krikor yeah yeah
it sounds like from he-man doesn't it it does it sounds like one of the
characters skeletor's
bitch no one knew this until hi it's me krikor let me say something krikor is
that krikor is that a
famous krikor yeah oh there are other famous oh he's chess you're more checkers
huh i don't more
checkers i i don't i like i like that he doesn't seem jazz when you say yeah
fast food restaurant
checkers yeah yeah yeah yeah oh not the game he doesn't know how to play that i
like board games
yeah yeah i like cards what games can you play uh perfection but that's hard uh
i like i don't know
how to play checkers or chess you don't no checkers either no i played poker
and they underestimated me
and i won i tell you what game he doesn't know how to play is plug in the oven
yeah that's a tough
game for some reason um how are the chippies bud you agree i have twins this
time yeah you do but one's
asian they're both asian so can we call you krikor from now on oh yeah but like
that's like the worst
thing you could call me oh i could think of oh no then i'll i'll meet you i
could think a lot of
things but like i have some questions for andrew afterwards because you guys
are getting something
because this is your background check we're gonna move on so okay ask
afterwards no ask now you have
questions for andrew ask away baby no no no i'll ask after because honestly i
think you guys did a
background check no we didn't no we didn't how did you know do you think we did
a
back look at the employees we have do you think we did a background check that's
insane this is okay
a a illegal immigrant an obvious cartel uh a drug baby and then a loser from
the midwest who was
like a hockey coach dropout i mean dude we don't we just pick up the scraps
where they fall did we
talk about his long beach performance yet or no to him no i don't think so we
haven't seen him since
then i don't okay so um that's another lie oh wow no i let me talk okay may i
yeah is this your show
no i don't have a show i know yeah calm it down calm it down dude goopy namaste
come right down
yeah creek creek creek creek creek creek or mccorkery that's you guys sounds
like a lawyer yeah yeah
so um another deception
yeah or that's johnny cochran i think shut up shut up shut up
you're fucked um you had a full-blown panic attack a week before long beach
begging us please i don't
want to do it i'm gonna fail i haven't done it what all the excuses and then
you go you show up at the
show how many people in the audience you think three thousand three thousand
people and um
you walk up there and you pull out a ak-47 and you go i mean you okay okay i'm
gonna take two
minutes before you went up he told me hey i think he should only he shouldn't
go up or he should only
do a couple of jokes i said he looks a little too nervous maybe we should
restrict his time to make
him feel comfortable just do him a couple minutes and tell me he can come right
back right right
something like that he was pacing right and i i came to you remember i came to
you i go me and
andrew had a talk you should just say hi pretty much right and you went up
there you went like
like yeah yeah yeah and you obliterated the room did great yeah so that's
another lie another lie
that wasn't a lie shut up oh so you had 10 minutes of jokes of pure jokes i
timed six minutes but not
first of all you did 12. no i didn't yeah yeah i can't hear him yeah he turned
his mic off i like that
no turn his mic up a little bit it's fine turn it up okay but here creek creaky
creek creek dog
i said i was gonna die i didn't say i can't do stand up and that part was true
you weren't gonna
die i was gonna die no and then when your agents and managers showed up i
forgot english oh it's so
it's so because also he treated he this is so funny agents manager are like his
rock bands they're my pen
like he knew they're by name they're every like what agency it's so weird you
knew my he knew my
agents he was like yeah yeah that's your agent yeah yeah i was like how would
you know who that is
yeah you said the name i write letters to them that's how you book what do you
mean
you write letters to them yeah you let you pair mr new sephoro you mean you
mean an email yeah
you write you hand write a letter and then translate it to email get their
attention
that'd be funny if you did that email you email news and you say hey news i'm
interested in booking
people for my show yeah it's actually very smart that's good do you know my
agents yeah who well i
thought abby was abe because i was just losing my mind but then i found out it's
abby and it's it's uh
you know but matt blake he has two first names stop okay he handles heavyweight
a b b e yeah abe abe by the way we're calling abby abe from here right here now
yeah you're creek or
and she's a abe oh my god and by the way what a show that would be on adult
swim creek or an abe
oh it's wanderlust it's beautiful it's the precipice of happiness when you're
around
i love it what are you showing me right now carlos goop at a premiere oh no oh
yeah oh oh you go to
hollywood oh there he is wow drugstore that's why push pause for a second none
of those people are in
the movie none of those people are in the movie sandy danto how come how come i
didn't get invited to
this benji or follow who's the guy in the middle there is that al holly who
polly that's polly yeah
none of them in the movie what are you doing on the red carpet of a drugstore
gym i was literally
he told the lady running the carpet that i was on uh love on the spectrum and
she gently invited me on
the red carpet he said that to everyone we meet everyone we meet it does that
because that's because
he called tells everyone i'm chinese yeah right so it's the same thing he says
you have autism and he's
what do you think you but you do you have autism did we say this i i started
taking a test and halfway
through my add kicked in and it wasn't looking good so i stopped but i'm open
to taking an autism we
should put you we should totally on the spectrum yeah because we want to find
you love we love you
and we want you to find love you do you don't want love no i don't want
spectrums or scales i want no
limits but what's your can i may ask a question and w