Name: Family Feud | Ep 215 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2024-04-22T16:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Family Feud | Ep 215 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Family Feud | Ep 215 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-22. Transcript available.

Family Feud | Ep 215 | Bad Friends

you believe you seriously believe in voodoo dolls i believe in new orleans
black magic
and that's not being racial yeah it sounds like it's called black magic i'm not
being racial
okay let's see
he doesn't notice there's nothing there yeah oh you gotta find a this went
right in your vagina
all right how about this
ow did it work yeah okay i'll stop you two are bad friends who are these two
idiots
this is such a nice gift that we got from a fan where was this in niagara or
was it in it was in
niagara and then they go then they said we didn't have enough time to do yours
to you and i saw your
heartbreak a little bit no you know i don't care about that stuff i thought
that was very nice that
they gave you something i don't i don't uh i don't need to have reciprocation
for gifts when
you get something i don't need to get anything i don't mind mostly because i
don't get any but
it's also because i'll get some pretty rarely but i don't i i think you get
gifts because you ask for
them often i don't ask for gifts that's ridiculous dude you definitely do i
deserve
them that see but that's different than asking why do you think you deserve
gifts well i'm a conduit of
i'm having a stroke no no i just i'm i'm really kind of going why do i need
them yeah i think it's a
good you know oh it's one of my love languages your love language is is gift
receiving yeah one of my
my love language is gifts receiving usually it's give touch yeah and gifts
receiving mine is and blowjobs
that's my love language
my love languages are uh isolation yeah and um alcohol yeah how many love
languages are there
five five this should be 20 because none of the five really embody my love
language well that's kind of
like uh that's like this is like genders now if there's gonna be 50 genders
then there can be 50
words of affirmation acts of service receiving gifts that's you quality time
and physical touch i
guess pee in my face is it's physical touch yeah well it doesn't body that well
are they touching you
though yeah i guess a part of insides something inside is touching my body so i
guess that is physical
physical touch yeah yeah could you ever do like a shiza video you know in germany
where they poop on each
other could you ever do that like a poop video with you you would you carlos
and mccone well let me tell
you why i'm out on carlos because carlos is experienced from this past weekend
oh he's a bad little naughty
boy we'll talk get that huh you're out i'm out on you for a little while oh no
i think you're a bad
little boy i think you're a gross little dirty scum nugget you're jealous dude
i'm not jealous dude
i wouldn't do i wouldn't have done what you did oh what you did was bottom of
the barrel scum bucket
nugget nugget that is yeah yeah it was terrible you know what that is when you
get like a six piece
nugget from mcdonald's and there's always one that you're like oh my god that's
you dude i can't eat
that yeah what do they do to it yeah what do you do what did i do i did nothing
right not even going
to mcdonald's you weren't outside wait wait wait wait first of all i don't know
what you're implying
but yeah i'm trying to be positive today because it is tax week oh okay so i'm
trying to be mindful
and very positive so clearly say you're slammed and you look ridiculous today i
know yeah yeah but
we won't even address it so go ahead what were you saying well i just heard
that you had not such a
great time at mcdonald's yeah i didn't i opened up my nugget box and there was
no nuggets
and and who told you this information oh there's only one rat in this room
look we're just having all right so this is what happened oh my god you were
you spread lies you
spread rumors we'll have to address it when you came down from the elevator at
like 2 30 in the morning
and i'm walking up the elevator you were you were so happy to see me why do you
get you you know you've
got some like trumpisms on your expressions where you go yeah i mean i i
learned from the past i know
yeah yeah coach you're bidenism sleepy yeah so um so i was coming down you're
coming up and the reason
why i smiled at you was as if like if you remember that you know in game of thrones
or medieval times
where they jousting with the horse yeah right i was obviously the one that lost
right so i'm in the
fucking armor well you're off your horse i'm off the horse you didn't get on
the horse you barely got
on the horse right and i'm like there's blood and you have your little pole
thing you're looking
down at me that's what that and i would smile if we were jousting i see i
thought you got me this
time yeah good game good game right so that's what that smile was about right
so what happened was
that night i get what time was it niagara falls niagara falls this was uh but
around just about
midnight is the departure from the show so i brought a girl up i don't know
gone i was sulking in the
green room well you were i just the show didn't go as well as i wanted we're
one of the worst shows
we've ever done i don't know was that it was just like something wasn't
clicking was it me i feel like
it was certainly not you every joke i said ate it that's not true that's
actually not true we can
we can all be genuine about it there was a guy with one leg the one legged guy
took his leg off that
was awesome and then my mom was i got a joke right yeah he takes his leg off
and this is about 5 000
people yeah there's a lot of people right so he takes his leg off and he's kind
of hopping around
on stage and i go i want to save this joke yeah i heard you store it i heard it
going yeah yeah
like a penny but yeah yeah and then finally there was like a little gap where i
go i'll do it
my instincts are usually right they're almost always right so i look at him and
i go
you have a beautiful nub
and silence so it was almost as if there was no one there
right and when that happens you smile but your eyes show all yeah yeah so i did
it was i laughed no you did it yeah i did no you have zingers no no no oh you're
a zing master
dude but but we had to smell the guys when you take for those oh my god it was
the worst dude for our fans
that have one leg or one limb missing and the sleeve he took off the thing and
he goes it smells pretty
bad and we both said like how i mean who cares it can't be that he's like trust
me you don't want
to and we smelled it i genuinely i almost threw up in the booth booth the boop
yeah in his boot
because it was unbelievable yeah it's a little bit of bo it's like bo with
rotten producey
rotten producey for sure and you know what else it is what like like we're out
in pussy like an old
dingleberry like a dingleberry that's been attached for a long time and it got
rehydrated like a little
bit of water splashed on it yeah you know in korea some of the bathroom by the
way yeah whatever you're
gonna say yes yes in korea some of the bathrooms right are still a hole in the
ground right because
when my um grandparents lived china same thing yeah yeah yeah so i remember i
was a kid i don't know if
i've ever talked about this have i when i was a kid i go um how long has this
been here and my
grandpa goes thousand years a thousand years right so basically there's a hole
in the ground and you
could look down and there's it's like a well of shit yeah right and i thought
my great great great
great grandfather's shit is down there that's awesome yeah shit well yeah the
bottom of that layer
is what his fucking mouth smells like just bad we huffed it yeah pass it around
i i meet a young lady
you met a young lady which was a good high point of the after the show and um
indian which is i i have
to i have to only say because no okay okay okay okay all right all right i mean
the music was enough
i feel like is that racist i don't think yeah a little bit yeah you know okay
all right i guess
it's like a trigger for you it's a trigger for me dude don't go down i'm sorry
sorry i'm sorry all right
that hurt actually but um all right that's enough i won't do it anymore that's
enough please stop
that's comedy in threes yeah yeah so you met this young woman she was very nice
and very i've never
pretty hooked up with a indian woman i'm shocked you've never even had like a
make-out session with
an indian girl never so but you but you've hooked up with almost every other
color of the rainbow yeah
no not black you've never had a black girl oh yeah i have come on come on one
bob one full st louis
full 100 yeah not the kind that robert diner would like
you never had indian never never i think it was the one i've had persian i've
been with hooked up with
pure persian yeah i've hooked it with mexico what's up bro what's up i mean i've
i've had south
american ooh what brazil no but it's easy argentina my friend argentina yeah
that's that argentina
brazil and so no central americans by the way but he was she was more like
messy oh
so she kind of looked like andres no messy like her vagina was like oh it was
sloppy yeah it was very
dirty yeah so um so you know and then she just
she gets naked we make out a little bit she gets naked she goes i don't want to
do this i was just
i go i thought you know obviously sure i'm fine she's like i could just just
kind of give you a
like a lapgancy kind of thing oh okay well since we're here yeah you know might
as well
whilst in niagara falls yeah like in mcdonald's i get the nuggets you gotta
right so it's like but
do you ever really get the nuggets i don't that's the point right do you were
you fully clothed i was
fully clothed very weird very weird right why didn't you get naked she's naked
you're clothed she didn't
want me to she said she got naked i was like doing this and she goes no i i'm
not feel comfortable
about this so she's but i'm standing there like right and she's going yeah yeah
i'll give you a
lap dance i was just going okay okay it's so weird for some one party to get
naked the other one be
like i don't i don't want you to get yeah yeah so she does a lap dance very
good sure she gets
clothed and she goes bye and then i walk her down that's nice though yeah but
then he comes up
with just relief like the joker right right right this dirty nut scum nugget
nugget nugget right nugget
right went well speaking of last trip dances yeah he went to a strip club right
so went to a private
room sober yeah fine and tell the story then nugget i'm this girl friend my
girlfriend just a bud yeah
she messaged me and she was like oh you're going to be in canada i'll be close
to niagara falls i'll
make it a work trip i'll go there nice in parentheses i'm a stripper right and
i went oh cool her job's
everywhere i guess exactly yeah and so she can't get off work during the show
if she would you have said um
oh that's so funny if she was a nuclear engineer of course so i got i'm gonna
say it i'm a nuclear
engineer i'm a nuclear engineer what are you talking you i'm the girl oh okay
just go on no no no stop
that's the weirdest improv yeah what are you yeah what is this a david lynch
improv right i'm a nuclear
i'm a nuclear engineer it just never ends it's like repetition so am i a miser
technique yeah there's
an exercise in miser it's an acting style where you repeat the word yeah until
you hit the motion so
you say that's funny because you've literally done this a million times to andrew
where you've been
the wrong character in the improv scene dude nuggy you're begging for trouble
it's tough tonight buddy
it's a tough day what are you begging for are you looking for a fucking it's a
tough day i don't think
i did anything wrong in niagara falls you did something right i didn't say you
did anything
wrong we're we're celebrating in your victory oh okay he dude you just jousted
he's just he's still
picking up some of his armor yeah be nice you're right yeah you don't parade
around after the joust
and show off yeah you're right now you help him up off the ground which i did
so you i'm proud of you dude is what i'm saying i'm emotional yeah go ahead i
like that y