Name: Bad Boys & Fairy Fantasies | Ep 217 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2024-05-06T16:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bad Boys & Fairy Fantasies | Ep 217 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bad Boys & Fairy Fantasies | Ep 217 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-06. Transcript available.

Bad Boys & Fairy Fantasies | Ep 217 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
well you two are something we're bad friends do you look so handsome today bobby
oh yes i'm
handsome today bobby i'm not buying it oh yeah you look good no hey yeah i'm
not buying any of that
what are you talking about you look so no i i i do what coming from you dude
that's legit no
legit to quit too legit to quit you're a cutie pie this is stop saying it it's
weird now eat some
skittles let me see you eat some skittles you eat some of those japanese skills
really really turned
me on oh really what's that oh we got a we got a bag of cookies from what from
whole foods cookie bar
do you know about this no open that up look at how many cookies are inside of
that thing whole foods
though whole foods cookie bar have you never had i only go to era one cookie
bar oh gross we're not
whole we're not but open that up look at them different kinds out of zero
should i give away
my should i give away my secret macon of what we do okay so when i go to like
the cookie bar like this
and i get like two pounds of cookies that's what would it say two 2.6 pounds
yeah you have to pay for
these cookies yeah but check it out you go to the self-checkout yeah and then
you just put it on the
thing like you're going to weigh it but you hold it right above it yeah so it
only registers you know
like what did that say like point today yeah .4 that's good cookie barry tricks
well i i'm a cookie
monster whoa that's good wait a minute first of all whole foods is amazon you
only brought for bobby
huh i don't want any one of these right well you guys can have it no no no we
brought it for the for
the for the for the crew i'm gonna have japanese candy but i gotta tell you mccol
this is way too many
cookies it's so many it's two and a half how much was that how much was it
supposed to be yeah how
much was supposed to be i think we paid i think we paid four dollars and 68
cents and it was supposed
to be 26. wow you're tricky i'm a tricky cookie boy yeah you know me i'm a
tricky cookie boy who me i'm
a tricky cookie boy let me see those are no let me see hold on all right
aso aso aso aso aso with these skittles they taste like regular skittles they
do yeah they're
just japanese why why did you give me this matcha that's from carlos i think
carlos wanted to bring
you what's going on today no just in case uh your day wasn't so good it wasn't
good you had a long day
terrible but it's okay now aren't you no no it's not it's bad pretty bad dude
why is it so bad today
oh sit down i have something to talk to you about sit down asshole asshole blue
chair blue chair man
blue chew hi hi hello hi hi andrez hi mccone put your purse in the other let me
ask you a question
what you're about to get it what's wrong with you because you're gonna school
dude why do you have
temple zits why do you have them you're supposed to get them on your face not
the temple what do you
mean yeah this is your temple right here she's trying to when she does this oh
she she does she
does white eyes and so when she has white eyes oh i used to get those yeah don't
do why days don't
why people don't like them no don't do what i know you're like hello i have a
credit card or whatever
i don't know what they say what is that what white people yeah hello i'd like
to pay in cash yeah
what are some things that only whites can say what are some things that you
hear only white say that
you would never hear a korean say we'll hear her go yeah gosh golly that's good
gosh golly oh gosh
golly gosh golly is good my gosh golly chimney crickets heavens to betsy when
you go when you see
there's somebody they got a white guy and you go um you have to be at my house
at seven and they go
okie dokie
no tell me you'll be at my house you have to be your house at seven you gotta
be at my house at
seven o'clock i'll be there early yeah yeah they're always early yeah white
people love it what do you
got to yell at her about oh um so hey you're a comforter oh did you piss on the
car oh yeah let's get
this is fun game yeah let's guess what it is why is bobby mad today guess what
it is uh the cats
the cats are beautiful i cleaned i cleaned everything i'm not i don't well
there's one
thing that you that you do that really disturbed me the other day i called you
about it oh the the
bottles the cat the cans not just the cans what what are you doing go ahead god
damn man this guy
oh my god i was about to christian bail it again dude what happened with the
cans and the bottles
and the cats and the bottles and the cans and the bottles and the bottles of
the bobby lee house
it's the cats and the bottles and something is broken whose fault is it yours
it's your fault so i
buy these chili i buy chili from era one you know sometimes i don't finish them
you never finish you
don't even eat it it's just a design it's just a design yeah in your fridge i
do design 25 designs
in my fridge yeah but i'm artsy you mean chili peppers no i i i formed them so
it makes a
configuration you know i mean so it's artsy what do you mean chili from air one
turkey chili yeah
that that those bottles oh god bob just because you want people to come over
and open your fridge
and see air one it's fifty dollars yeah that is fifty dollars for for a jar of
chili it's the best
chili you'll ever have i hope so yeah how did we get compared to the water shut
up dude and don't go
don't give me a chili test either dude i'll know why did you lie that says
eighteen dollars yeah he's
a liar dude you're a little bad boy liar all right so stay on the stay on the
photo stay on the photo
so um what i like to do is because what am i good at then what are you good at
yeah yeah uh when it
comes to the environment you're good at giving back no no come on what do i do
because that goes right
into the toilet or the trash you're giving back no that's what i mean what do
you what do i do i'm a
conversation you're a conservationist yes that's right you're a constipationist
yeah i'm a constipationist
your ibs has got you i'm very mindful about the environment are you seriously
no you don't
you don't even use your recycle do i have two trash cans in my thing yeah and
you use the recycle as trash
stop because i don't know the difference that's the only problem well let's
learn because i actually
don't know can i be honest we throw so much stuff thank you so much but can i
get to this first and
then we'll get to that please i'm sorry no no it's your show it's both of our
shows actually but your
show now okay so um that's not what i'm at at um i think it's done beneficial
things to your life
this podcast big time your confidence is big time uh your social status your
instagram account your
communication skills your mind's not even that good right you're still in this
country you're still in
this country because of us yeah yeah do you want to stay in the country yeah
okay good i get a call
today disturbing yeah bad frightening um no let me i'm not done okay it it felt
like do you remember
when um in the exorcist right the mother remember the mother please yeah
what do you mean now go go go what do you mean well yes i remember yeah yeah
right right yeah
and she the father what's the father's name borg um father boar father borg
yeah what is his
name it is a terrible analogy let's let's damien yeah father damien dare he
goes
the analogy doesn't make any sense but you got to get there if you're gonna go
there should i guys
finish try to finish anyway i'll try to finish it already started right so when
she comes up to him and says um
you know i think my daughter you know i mean he's an exorcism uh-huh and his
face was like
either like like i've never done that before also this is gonna be super scary
yeah but there's all
these emotions this is terrible analogy i can tell i'm gonna find it with you i'm
gonna find it with
you just keep going i've been done though oh that's it did you find it yet did
you find it yet okay how
about this yeah yeah find it now your father dermis yeah yeah and every single
day you deal with a little
devil that's what i meant to say and you want her to exude her evil that's what
i wanted to start
doing good right i'm so good what i'm saying to you is is that um
you're embarrassed about being on the show no a little bit are you really no do
you have two instagrams
i have three jesus you're embarrassed about being on the show no i'm not i'm
just shy no you're not
i'm just shy no you're not a little shy guy you're not a shy guy yeah no you're
not i don't know it's
just overwhelming there's just so many oh you're being overwhelmed wow yeah i
do things for your
family that you have no idea you have no idea dude the sacrifices i make what
do you do
do you okay honestly you're on oh you're on one today dude okay so what do i do
interesting what
do i do let me see that makes me sick yeah let me see you do the dogs you do a
lot
young lady young lady young lady young lady okay bye clean your house barely
now let's learn what
recycling is i really want to know i'm serious i want to know too that kind of
bugged me out i have no idea
what goes in the recycle well before we even look it up let's see guess because
i want to ask you
something i'm being real okay all right so there's the blue one yeah the blue
bin and that's the
recycled correct then there's the black guys am i not you got it black bin what
is that for just
garbage green one tree tree like tree kind of right like leaves and stuff okay
don't try to trick me
what's the garbage can i was born the black one i know in this day and in this
day and age they
couldn't paint it any other color yeah yellow would be more appropriate no not
yellow that's trash
yellow seems like yuck trash gross bad red too though
yeah red red is like fire well first of all there are red bins in the forest
for hot coals and stuff
like that yeah that's not good look at that there you go all right so let me
all right oh yeah what
is a red bin in the hospital is that for uh hazardous materials thank you oh
yeah i'm hazard like blood
clots and stuff well blood yeah blood in general let me talk to you okay all
right so um in the in
the blue one i put plastics glass how much glass are you throwing away a lot
why do you have a lot of
glass oh from your chili jars keep those well no that's the one thing she threw
away the lids
that's what i was mad about because i use them for my cachava we'll talk about
later we remember okay
so um plastic and glass glass and that's it right paper products like so paper
like paper
paper towels you throw in the recycled yeah no yes no yes you do paper towels
yes any paper product can go
in there paper cups unless it's soiled meaning like if it has poop on it or
food on it oh so but if
it's just paper towel that dried your hands with or something yeah really 100
okay go in there look
right here recycle in the blue bin go up zoom in recycle these items in the
blue bin computer paper
ledger paper arts and crafts paper unwanted mail flyers telephone books note
cards newspaper magazines
file folders paper bags post-it notes catalogs envelopes including window
envelopes cardboard of
all kinds cartons of all kind fruit juice wine cereal heavy cream metals metals
so yeah i do soda cans
soda juice veggie cans right right glass there you go bobby yeah look at it
even says soda wine and it
says chili jars it's weird yeah and plastics of all kind yeah yeah and
everything else goes in one
one bean per category slow it down dude did you did you move back to spain in
your mind did you have a
stroke what happened one what's going on dude blue bin blue bin and then the
green bin is all the yard
waste yeah that's what they call it you know the reason why i'm not going to do
your movie i'll tell
you what the reason i got i got a whole i me too but the number one thing is
the number one thing is
how long do notes take forever you take a take right he comes from behind video
village
i mean it