Name: We Are Betas | Ep 219 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2024-05-20T16:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Are Betas | Ep 219 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Are Betas | Ep 219 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-20. Transcript available.

We Are Betas | Ep 219 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
you two are something we're bad friends you know you know when you're on the
road and i'm on the
road yeah separately yeah there is a sadness that occurs in my big time i call
you i know you call
me from the stage and i said i yeah really miss you bad i know but i had so
much fun in phoenix
and they were chanting for you yeah and uh how did jesse do not good i know no
she did great oh i
mean she's great i mean she did so good i just agree with you she did so good
because you're an honest
guy you know we had a great host it was great jackie we had so much fun man phoenix
was incredible
it's a nice club it's a great club then i go to nashville dude this weekend
yeah i got nothing
i got nothing until september but my point being is what's going on in september
aren't you doing
aren't you doing the thing with uh segura i'm doing sakura and kreischer oh wow
i'm doing that i'm
doing that um um fattapalooza thing yeah welcome back to fattapalooza how much
can you eat drink and
fart out yeah but you know i want to say that you know i believe that things
happen for a reason and
you run into people for a reason do you agree or no yeah and like uh things are
kismet or meet cutes
like a meet cute meet cute you think we met on a meet cute oh yeah yeah i do
yeah um what's so funny
i don't even want to meet cute i've never heard of that meet cute meet cute
meet cute i have an
uncle named me yeah he does nails he does nails yeah make it um you want jail i
don't know i i think that
i know i think that you know it was just inevitable that we would meet but in
terms of like
being you know partners for this project was me cute it was me yeah and um
anyway so yesterday
universal energies universal energy so sunday i was mark norman told me to come
down and do his
podcast at the store hey come on down buddy yeah and i came down whitney was on
every bunch of people
on i met joe list for the first time oh yeah yeah he's the best funny guy all
those dudes are great
super funny i did good hey man come down and i just kind of walked off stage
you know how i do
yeah you leave yeah yeah you know like elvis bobby has left the building you
think it's like elvis
whatever you think you're like elvis because you cut your hair short now you're
kind of there it is
i am you're a hunk of burning love no i don't mean i don't have his looks but i
think i have his energy
no okay chinese elvis chinese anyway we've done it but i was leaving yeah i was
leaving
and then i hit hey dude i hear hey dude is that chinese elvis no
yeah it's an israeli kid oh he goes hey dude hey dude i go what and i see this
like at first i
thought it was like um a sick robert smith from the cure oh yeah yeah yeah um
just a little pale
face pale face yeah and i go it was sunny too so it was during the day and then
i i looked at him
and he go and i recognized him and i go i've seen him online you know yeah and
he goes i'm a big fan of
you dude or whatever and is he deaf no i don't know that's how he sounds okay
yeah yeah and then um
we had a little conversation on the patio we exchanged numbers and now he's
here you gave
him your real number i did and here he is yeah say hi bud hey it's all now i
talk yeah what's wrong
with you what's going on what's going on yeah i love you so much dude you're so
good is there
something about you you know can i say something about you dude yeah yeah yeah
yeah there's a sadness
about you and an anger i was thinking more hate and anger more than sad i'm not
a sad guy you're
not a sad guy no oh you're happy happy but angry we had an interesting
conversation though you and i
am a ton did we not very interesting yeah was i nice a nice guy i'm a nice guy
small
what do you mean because i thought you were gonna be a little bit bigger yeah
yeah well okay um but is it like unnaturally small what do you mean oh like it's
not natural how
small you are i mean am i dwarf like um not that being a dwarf being a dwarf is
natural yeah i think
you're a little a little bit taller just a just a just a little bit taller than
a little bit you
wouldn't categorize me if you were a doctor you wouldn't be like i right above
the the line great
that means you know what that means i can get on the rides can i have a lot of
you guys at universal
yeah they made a whole theme park for you guys what's you guys mean oh you know
what i mean but no
no no no i don't know what you mean what do you can't no no no what do you maton
i know you're a
kid all right so i want to be gentle with you yeah look at me right now look at
me right now no don't do
that maton are you talking about harry potter town no harry potter oh little tokyo
no the little
minions oh oh oh let me ask you because they're yellow now he's doing your
material
oh he does that he says that he says that joke before yeah i've said it before
so maton where
are you from oh i'm from los angeles yeah oh yeah we're talking the valley
right baby oh yeah i was
born in encino and now you live in tarzana no now i live in encino okay good
yeah so still encino
yeah you're a senior in high schools coming up yeah right now i'm the 11th
grade i don't know which
one that one's that's a junior junior yeah yeah yeah but you're homeschooled oh
no i went to school
but now i'm just doing online because you know i had to leave why some problems
with the teachers
just problems you had problems or they had problems i was well it was mutual i
guess yeah it does seem
mutual yeah there's no way that's a one-way street yeah but you know what who
needs school no i mean
his podcast is i mean it's it's popping a little bit i've seen it yeah it's
popping a little bit you know
you're very aggressive on your podcast you yell at people no i'm not aggressive
yeah you call fat you
go fat oh that was producer yeah yeah yeah he's he died actually on the stairs
he was he we fell down
the stairs after that you did we said it in the thing it was we had a funeral
for him you're killing
it bud killing it you met dan schneider oh almost i had one of his clients on
wow whoa so that's pretty
good yeah yeah yeah maybe by transference you picked up some of that yeah how
do you feel about
the liver king the liver king yeah um i think he's alpha yeah he is alpha he's
alpha yeah it was high
testosterone really oh are you a real man you i know what you are what you're
not alpha no i'm alpha
i'm a real man no no you're not how much do you weigh like maybe close to 130
is my guess that's a real
man right there man because he's pure pure man pure brain and muscle how old
are you i'm 17 right now
i just turned 17. what are your dreams what are your dreams your goals real
quick i want i got you guys
a gift all right yeah give me the gift go give you a gift how exciting this guy's
oh wow wow is that an
m4 is that an m44 m4468 vacuum yeah that's a model i got you a gift as well oh
thank you oh this is my
specific gift oh yeah okay cool whoa whoa who's that signed by that's signed by
me but it's a poster of
the beetle yeah wow that's a great signature i've always wanted one of these
yeah we just do you know
the 7 11 by the baskin robbins yeah yeah yeah so i bought that there it was ten
it was ten dollars you want dollars and the sharp was two dollars yeah how much
was this
i don't even i don't think i paid for that does it work i believe it makes a
funny noise when you turn
it off yeah i don't think it works plug it up no it works but it's like half
broken well let's hear it
it works it's funny to watch macone did you sign it though no i signed the beat
i'd prefer you to
sign the vacuum yeah you want me to sign the vacuum yeah please i can do it
after but just don't sell
it because it's gonna unless you can give me some of the money no where did you
get it is this something
that runs in the family are you guys that's one of the you know how sometimes
people yeah oh it sounds
great dude it works yeah it's good yeah it's good thank you so much you're
welcome that's very nice
birthday yeah okay but you know honestly i thought it was broken i was kind of
a little mad about it
but if since that works what a great gift a vacuum that works thank you clap
clap clap clap clap yeah
wow pull your hair back like you just did again and hold it like that look now
look at bob no pull
hold it hold your hands on your head yeah yeah no because you want my eyes too
no no no no
hold your hair we're not doing that pull your hair back and hold it tight like
that oh i i love it
what do you see anne hathaway yeah and hathaway yeah beautiful yeah beautiful
little isla fisher
in there a little isla fisher yeah gorgeous i mean dude let me i mean i don't
know this is this
against because he's 17. i'm just saying that if you transitioned oh no no oh
because if you say
it three times it'll happen you can't do that oh we've already said it twice
yeah if you
transitioned oh that's two be careful because you might have to it would go
pretty well for you if
you want no no you have good jawline no no i'm not not one of those you are a
pretty girl yeah you
are a pretty you would be a pretty girl you're a pretty boy but you're i don't
want to talk about
it because every time i get into that conversation people get mad for what i'm
saying why we're not
going to talk about it why don't we talk about it yeah talk about what what
that you'd be a pretty
girl yeah you're pretty girl you would be look at your little chin look at your
little cheeks
look at his cute cheeks yeah you have cute she the can i the you know i know oh
oh the jewish thing i
don't i know who you look like oh what joan of arc oh little joan little joan
little joan of arc
she was jewish wasn't she that's the guy in the bible yeah yeah jonah's arc
yeah yeah yeah there's
there you are there you are oh that really does look similar yeah yeah yeah
that's pretty close
yeah it's pretty good she was a warrior well now you know where you are for halloween
bud yeah oh but
she's not a real man that's why she has a lot of hate in her heart oh i thought
you said you have
hate in your heart yeah but if you have hate in your heart but it's the wrong
head you're not a real
man so what's the real hate oh just hating i'm not never mind no no no no no no
don't never mind it
look at me mattan look at me mattan everything's fine i love you yeah yeah no
he can't say that well
i'm not gonna say that what kind of alpha are you oh like a push-up alpha are
you a guy that goes to
the gym no no i don't go to the gym but just not like a strong alpha that's a
different one that you
can do double but i know what what you're like lex luthor lex luthor yeah no i
want to be like ben
shapiro right right oh yeah i don't know if he would be considered alpha oh
yeah yeah no no i don't
think so i don't really i don't think but i but maybe oh i think you're more
like alex jones oh yeah
yeah you like that guy i went on there a couple times i know i know you saw
that's incredible it's
incredible i was 12. how do people feel in high school about bobby lee like
high school people think
he's funny i never heard him right yeah there's not much conversation yeah
okay but didn't you hi didn't you didn't you go you came oh no i know you okay
that's because i'm
like in the space i only knew you after high school right oh outside of high
school yeah well no no not
outside of high school i'm saying i knew you since i left oh since you left
okay okay how long has that
been about a year a little over a year good good so anyway what i wanted to ask
you what i'm going to
tell you is that we went through a a list of things yeah and you know at the
end of our conversation we
no no so might stop this is manipulated no no we surmise that you were a full-blown
liberal oh
no no oh does that hurt your feelings because it's not it's true 100 is true we
can go over we can go
no we don't have to go over it right now i'm just letting you know that we've i
did a list and do
yo