Name: Bobby Out Raps mgk | Ep 228 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2024-07-22T16:00:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Out Raps mgk | Ep 228 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Out Raps mgk | Ep 228 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-22. Transcript available.

Bobby Out Raps mgk | Ep 228 | Bad Friends

- Hey! - Hey, BadFriendsMirth.com!
- We got new shirts.
What are these shirts from?
Look at little baby Bobby
on the cover of what was the Nirvana album.
- Yeah, yeah, when I was a senior in high school,
this album came out and it really influenced me.
- And I was in kindergarten.
We love this album.
This is an homage.
- Yeah. - It's a tip of the hat to-
- Nevermind Nirvana.
- Also, we have posters. - We have posters, dude.
- You don't have to buy just the shirt of this.
You can buy the poster if you wanna hang that in your-
- Yeah. - In your wall.
Hang it in your wall. - Hang it in your wall.
Hang it in your wall, right inside of your wall.
Go to BadFriendsMerch.com, BadFriendsMerch.com.
Hey, Bad Friends, I'm on tour in the fall,
gearing up to shoot my hour.
I'm gonna be in Frank, California, Indianapolis, Charlotte,
Waukee, Omaha, Kansas City, Cleveland, St. Louis,
Grand Rapids, Detroit, New Orleans, San Antonio, Chicago,
Durham, Atlanta, Charleston, Philly, New York,
Phoenix, San Francisco, San Diego, Boston, and Minneapolis.
Go to AndrewSantino.com for those tickets.
AndrewSantino.com.
- You two are bad friends.
- Who are these two idiots?
- A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
- Well, you two are something.
- We're bad friends.
- I wonder if there's nepotism in porn.
Like Ron Jeremy's son has a small t-
- Ha, ha, ha, ha.
- Let's not talk about Ron Jeremy.
He's in prison.
- Is that how you wanna start today?
- Yeah. - John Holmes, John Holmes.
- He's dead.
- I know, but just-
- Give me one-
- A live porn star.
- Male.
- Yeah.
- Rocco Siegfredi.
- What?
- Rocco Siegfredi.
- Who's that?
- Rocco Siegfredi?
- Yeah, this is the biggest one.
Italian.
- Oh, he's in Italian.
That's a woman, dude.
- Rocco Siegfredi is an Italian pornographic actor.
Wow.
You know your male porn stars.
I mean, it was, yeah.
- That was a really-
- Oh.
- Yeah, I get it.
- I've seen him in movies.
- He's so good.
- You've seen this guy, though.
I've seen him.
- Colson, have you seen that guy in porn?
- I guess the, it's just his face,
so it's hard to say.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have to see his, yeah, right.
I have to see the dick.
Yeah, yeah.
- That's funny, I've never, I only look at their face.
When they go to the dick, I look away.
There it is.
Does that look familiar?
- Oh, great.
- Yeah, that, I know Colson.
I'm not Colson, I don't say Colson, you're saying Colson.
- I know, isn't it?
That's your dick?
No, oh.
- It's gotta be similar size, yeah.
- Yeah.
- That's gotta be, that's 10 and a half is huge.
- One time I was in, back in the day,
when there was no internet.
- Yeah.
- And you'd have to go to the,
I lived in San Diego, so I had to go to the F Street bookstore.
- That was the porn bookstore?
- Yeah, and in the back, they have the videos, right?
- Yeah.
- And the one time I was like, this is good, right?
I was like jerking out feverishly.
'Cause you also, I didn't have a lot of money,
so there's a timer.
I was from behind, a girl, and I was doing feverishly,
and then they panned out with two dudes,
and then right when I saw it was two dudes, I nutted.
- It's a little too late.
- Anyway.
- You wanna introduce our guest?
- Yeah, start new.
- Introduce our guest.
- Do I realize, are you Slenderman?
Anyway, let's move on.
He's kinda Slenderman-y, you know what I mean?
Anyway, anyway, so, I know you.
You saved my friend's life, by the way.
- That's right.
- Oh, that was quite the ride.
- It was the wildest.
I have a gift for you, by the way.
- I've never seen someone passed out for so long in my life.
- Oh, wow.
- I brought back your sweater.
- I told you, okay, I'll take it.
- I thought that was a nice, I thought it's a give and it's a get.
We have a sweater for you.
Ryan, come give him one of ours.
- Does it have your puke on it?
- Yeah.
- Puke and piss.
- So we got Colson, MGK's, give him our, MGK's.
- MGK is in the house today, right?
So MGK, Colson, from your point of view,
tell me the story, what you saw that.
So Andrew was, okay, go ahead.
- I, it was just, he was so normal.
And this is what I talked about after you in the bathroom with Megan.
I was like, but he was so like coherent, right?
Like how did, how did, what was he, did you, did you hear anything I said?
We had like a 40 minute talk before the plane took off.
- Dude, the whole time I was thinking I'm about to throw up.
So I hope, I hope I don't throw up in the middle of this conversation.
And in my mind, I thought I'm going to be talking to him and I'm going to look
over at Megan.
She's going to smile and I'm going to throw up all over, all over her.
That was my biggest fear.
If I puked on you, I thought fine.
- Sure, sure.
- Homie's fine.
No big deal.
And then the whole time I was like, man, I'm not feeling good.
But it wasn't like a communicable sick.
I just felt wrong.
By the way, after that.
- It was just one of the most, I, I, for someone who I just met for the first
time,
I asked you an absurd amount of questions, too.
- Were you a fan of, you knew who Andrew was.
- For sure, for sure.
And I've watched the show.
So I, but I was just, I, it was just like such an overloaded with questions
conversation
that I normally wouldn't even be hitting people with.
So the fact that I chose the most, like.
- This is so sick.
Dude, for four days after that, I had, so I had a gastrointestinal bug.
I lost nine pounds.
What was it? Nine pounds.
I was on the toilet for four days straight.
I went to the hospital twice.
- That's the first time I ever had to help someone get like an oxygen tank out
of like
the secret compartment in an airplane.
- Whoa!
- I ripped through three of them, dude.
- She couldn't reach it.
And so I was like, I just became involved at that point.
- It was wild.
- What a good dude, because if I saw him, even if we have a pocket, I wouldn't
ignore him.
I would have been like, I don't know him.
- Is that a good bit?
- Part of it was also...
- Is that a good bit?
- Yeah, it's a good bit.
- Yeah, it's not.
- It's not a good bit?
- You'd be so concerned for me.
- No, I don't think so, dude.
- He was talking to me and then he came to the bathroom and he was like, are
you okay?
Are you okay, dog?
And I was like, I don't think so.
- Wow.
- But I also was like, I don't want you here right now, because I was so
embarrassed already.
- Yeah, yeah.
- And I was like, man, of all people, why did he have to be on the flight?
- But it was good.
- There was a lady in the back whose only concern was that she had to use the
coach bathroom,
that you were blocking up the only first-class bathroom.
- Really?
- There was a lady that was back there.
- That piece of garbage.
- She was like, is that your friend?
So like, I mean, how long do you think?
Because he's in the only bathroom I can use.
I'm like, oh, there's a bathroom back there.
She was like, I paid for these seats.
- Oh, wow.
- Damn.
- That's a bad human being.
- That's a bad human being.
- You can't go to the back of it.
- That would have been me, that would have been me.
- Yeah, that's it, I'm sure.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, I would have just sat next to the toilet and be like, go ahead, just go
right next
to me.
- No, you would let me, right?
- 100%.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- No, they gave me Narcan and everything.
- So you also gave him your sweatshirt?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, when I walked up to the bathroom, he looked up and he was like, oh, dog,
and it
was just puke everywhere.
- Oh my God.
- And so, yeah, I just...
- Why are you laughing at your boss?
- Yeah, don't do that.
- It's not at him.
- Strike one, man.
- That's strike one.
- Keep it up.
- Yeah, yeah.
- No, he offered me a sweater, which was so nice.
I took off my sweater and then he goes, do you want my sweater?
I was like, no, dude, I have piss and puke all over me.
And he goes, pff, dude, I don't give a shit.
And that's when I fell in love.
- Bro.
- I was like, he didn't care at all.
- Bro, not only you look like Slender Man, all right, but also you have a,
probably, I've
never seen your genitals, but probably great.
- Huge.
- You're a very talented musician.
- Thank you.
- But now we know that you're a good human being.
- Oh man, thank you.
- And so it just puts flutterly butterflies in my mind.
Give him a round of applause.
So great.
You know, you have a wreath, I have three wreaths at home.
- You guys have a Chinese cat.
I was just shooting a video with the, I just did this arm pump and then I was
just like,
man, that feels like I'm doing the Chinese cat and then he's right there.
- Oh, I thought you pointed at me and called me a Chinese cat.
- Yeah, you did.
- You are my Chinese cat.
- Am I?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- He's a Japanese cat.
I don't, I don't want to.
- Yeah, no, no, it's okay, Colson.
- Okay.
- I call them ching chong cats too.
- All right.
- Chat cats.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, first of all, cat, I mean, what's the obsession with cats with Asia?
- Well, I mean, you're not going to mortalize dogs because you're not going to,
like,
frame food.
You know?
- Oh, God.
- What is the obsession?
Why is it the cat?
- Yeah, what is the obsession with it?
- It's funny because we've had this since we started the show.
- Uh-huh.
- This was on our desk when we started the show four years ago and it's never,
it's never
left for some reason.
- Yeah.
Well, I went to an island in Japan where the whole island was only cat statues.
It was thousands and thousands.
- What island?
Which island?
- I don't know.
- Were there cats?
- In my house is a bunch of cats.
- Bro, how many do you have?
- I have three.
- He's got three.
- Bro, bro, bro.
- He's got three.
- Bro.
- Coulson.
Bro, bro.
- You have three cats?
- Bro.
- Bro, there's something.
- No.
- No.
- But bro, let me say something that says a lot about you and it says a lot
about me as
well.
We're big dick people.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're big dick people.
- No, I don't know if that's the same.
- That's what it means, right?
Marlon Brando had cats.
- Sick.
- Big dick guy.
- Okay.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I'm gonna say, let me just say something to you, everyone in this room,
okay?
I'm tired of people calling me a small little dick guy.
- Yeah, dude, it's not right.
- It's not right.
- It's not right.
- It's not wrong or right.
- First of all.
- It's not right.
- It's right.
- No, I'll tell you why.
- It's right.
- No, they've been, I have a girl, lady friend.
- And she validated you now?
- She's like, dude, you have medium.
- Great.
- No, we measured it and everything.
- Dude, now we can hug.
- Now we can hug.
- Dude, I'm medium dick, dude.
- Medium, dude.
- I'm medium dick, dude.
- You upgraded, dude.
- That's an upgrade.
- Yeah, dude.
- That's an upgrade.
- So I'm tired of the shit, dude.
- You were the one that perpetuated it.
- My feet are nine.
Why are you laughing, dude?
My feet are size nine.
- All right.
- It's all connected.
- It's a good thing.
- Let's move on from it.
I don't want to talk about my genitals again.
- You brought it up.
- I know, right.
I'm just sorry.
I don't know.
He just--
- What's the name of your cats?
You want to name your cats?
- Whoa.
- Whoa.
- Tickets is great.
- You want to know mine?
- Yeah.
- Ming, Gooner, and Bojo.
- One more time?
- Ming.
- Yeah.
- Gooner.
- Gooner.
- And Bojo.
- And Bojo.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Gooner after Arsenal, the soccer team.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Ming after his mom who passed away
and she came back to life as the cat, we think.
- No, she's still alive.
- She is?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I don't know what to laugh at.
- And then we have Bojo, which is Bobby Jr.
- That's right.
- And we call him Bojo.
- And he looks the most like him.
- He's fat.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Well, they have the same vibe.
- But, what do you mean?
He doesn't do shit.
- That's right.
- Right.
- That's right.
He's the sleepiest, the laziest.
- Yeah, and it's like, you know,
they think they're in Cirque du Soleil or something.
I can't.
- They're ruining his entire house.
- Yeah, like on top of the fridge.
I buy him be