Name: Ozempic Pukes & Santino's Spooky Birthday | Ep 242 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2024-10-28T16:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ozempic Pukes & Santino's Spooky Birthday | Ep 242 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ozempic Pukes & Santino's Spooky Birthday | Ep 242 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-28. Transcript available.

Ozempic Pukes & Santino's Spooky Birthday | Ep 242 | Bad Friends

massachusetts teen dies after taking part in social media one chip challenge
he died from this yeah he ate a whole one we're only taking a little bit
wow okay all right let's hold on already it's bad jules it's me bobby dad i
heard from beyond
the grave you like the bigger deco i like colored too it's a fucking fortune
cookie
i swear to god i i it's the most insulting thing what does it say
it says fuck you bitch boy
is not a cat nope it's definitely not a cat it might be a pussy it might be but
it's not
but it's not if he's straight like he's telling me or if he's bi
okay if he was bi if he was bi shut the fuck up man i swear to fucking god did
get him some
milk are you being real yeah here eat cheetos fast eat cheetos fast
eat cheetos fast eat cheetos fast give him the milk yeah i have more cheetos
cheetos fast i think you're gonna need this other diaper
welcome to scary time
you
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what are you supposed to be grilled cheese that's what i said you said cheeseburger
yes you did guys
you're grilled cheese um you know what i am
what are you supposed to be grilled cheese
that's what i said you said cheeseburger
yes you did yes you did guys you said it you're grilled cheese um you know what
i am
yeah but you know i'm beans on toast yeah i'm beans on toast you know what i am
beans on toast you know who i am
spring roll man spring roll spring roll right here that's my friend over there
spring roll
and what we got word tomorrow i'm beans on toast that's my friend tomorrow god
damn you're scary
tomorrow well cover your face up more yeah yeah yeah now that looks good yeah
nice ooh are you
steve aoki i can't tell what are you doing okay okay that looks rad are you
gonna trick-or-treat
you still trick-or-treat don't you yeah it's always fun are you do you trick-or-treat
what do you do
i haven't trick-or-treated i don't even remember the last time we should go
is it legal yeah for us to trick or treat i've never seen adults do it let me
tell you something
yeah we can only treat no tricking out of you bud okay oh i love you can't be
tricking in them
streets i know only treats my only treat um so uh ding dong beans on toast here
we go with beans on toast
honestly when you do this i do it you know who we're fans of arsenal football
club
we're the gooners yeah ding dong beans on toast oh my god you're on fire today
i love it i love it
honestly yeah best costume i've ever had this rivals when i was a kid i was um
i was uh
what is it a little or wait no no no andy and no andy andy and raggedy ann and
andy look up that my
mom made me wear this one time you didn't choose that your parents did my
mother put me as raggedy
andy from raggedy ann and andy he didn't need to do much me me what did you
just say yeah would you
say man you think i got a triangle nose is that what you're trying to say dude
i got a big red
triangle nose you know who these two guys are you know who they are i know what
it is who let me guess
wait let her guess i'll get a guess too yeah who do you think fancy and uh carlos
are what um
can i have clues yeah they're wearing the costume that's the clue i i think andres
is a city porg
you know like a porg got off that planet yeah yeah yeah and then got a job in
the city
do you not know you don't know who they are dude this is i know a great
opportunity i know what it is
what are they bert and ernie that's right
because they're gay whoa that laugh dude pretty close no dude they're the menendez
brothers oh
they are oh yeah oh wow they're good it's it lyle and eric who's which one's
which eric's the
handsome one eric is the handsome one so neither of you so you're both lyle
just two liles and then
um mccone is hannibal lecter i don't know i don't know what are you doing i
just wanted to muffle
you what you want to do what you want to do all these years you still can't get
a joke out i want
that to marshal fame get it out idiot what is it muffle him muffle him i wanted
to muffle him
he's hannibal lecter he looked that looks actually red stand up on the box real
fast so we can see
the wow wow yeah that looks cool very cool yeah yeah don't wink dude that is
such a creepy costume
i like that a lot it's pretty good where did you get the mascot amazon okay
well you bought it from
yeah he asked you no where did you get the mask from easy opportunity for a
joke he goes right to
amazon yeah yeah don't do it so literal where'd you get the mask from let's do
it again yeah let's try
to get another joke out right yeah where'd you get the mask from uh your mom's
house the podcast network
yeah shaguro had it your mom's house in phoenix oh that's interesting approach
yeah i don't know
if that's gonna work for you but yeah that's not gonna work that made me mad i've
been to her house
yeah yeah with her it makes sense what'd you get the mask at try it again oh
down in essex where you live
mr beans on toast
i see why these guys aren't comedy writers that's really good jesus christ holy
shit the banana's he's spring roll jelly rolls uh second cousin yeah spring
roll spring roll what's
his famous song what's the one he sings jelly roll why can i i did i did do a
show with him i'm a show
but i mean i was on a show that he was on and what a nice guy what's the name
of the song can we hear it
save me that's the one save me is really famous right i don't know i want to
hear it yeah you want
to hear it just for a second i know what you're gonna do
can i can i take your instincts no yeah yeah let me guess your comedy instincts
right now oh no
yeah no i know okay good do it play it let's hit play it someone who saved me
damn it save me from my
damn it i know i was waiting to catch you off guard yeah yeah oh that's so good
that worked yeah that was
really good do you beat me to the come on spring roll let me hear you save me i
don't even know what
the last song is someone help have someone save me save me from myself have
someone save me from
myself okay very good really good yeah oh can i just tell you what ladies and
gentlemen spring
roll save me from myself i gotta tell you what's going on with me okay what
what what happy birthday
by the way i love you thank you so much what are you gonna tell me what i was
just what's going on
what's why am i why i want to hear it but can i also clear the air with
something else okay to the
boys and you what bobby sent me the nicest text i've ever gotten on my birthday
wow the nicest text
i've ever gotten on my birthday the nicest read it you want me to read it to
everybody yeah i'm gonna
read it all right all right i'm gonna tell you why i sent it okay after you
read it okay here we go
by the way people still think i gave you a quarter million dollar i know every
yeah are people the
dumbest people on earth are you guys all dumb they're great no i love our fans
but what are we
talking about do you guys really think i gave him a what are you talking about
all right here we go
don't do that don't do that all right i'm sorry all right i apologize happy
birthday andrew i just
want to say you're one of my favorite people i've ever met you're not only a
friend but family to me
you've been by my side during my toughest moments and i'll never forget it that
being said no object
can hold more value than my heartfelt words and therefore i've gone with a non-materialistic
approach to your gift this year in quotes your gift is coming i love you and
happy birthday brother
and i wrote back who wrote this
and i said i wrote i love you so much i did to me to me i appreciate your for i
knew it took you a long
time because it was really good i appreciate your friendship more than i can
say okay you're my family
forever and then we texted a little and then he sent a picture of uh throw up
vomit okay i'm gonna tell
you i'm gonna take your vomit right after a heartfelt i'm gonna tell you about
what's going on for me
okay what are you doing what is going on you're taking ozempic for no no let's
just can we just go
but let's rewind okay go ahead okay can i rewind a little bit okay first of all
i have a couple of
great announcements to make oh yeah i thought i thought i think the penguins
the one of the best
shows i've ever seen you do have you seen it no before the episode was very
good okay don't tell
him don't give it very good i haven't seen it yet i've been watching very good
great british bake
have you seen it not yet okay that's a great one too i'm on my gbb dude me too
do do welcome to the
great british baking show it's me beans on toast today you're gonna be cooking
a profilerate with
a little bit of filling all right so that was good sorry i do love the show
yeah i love it it's such
a good show okay when that guy got the handshake i almost cried i cried too it
was on because he was
he was in shock it's so emotional yeah yeah yeah paul hollywood it was the gochujang
the gochujang
biscuits biscuits and he goes i've never tasted anything like this before yeah
yeah and he also like
rolled them up like like like they're perfectly formed they were perfectly yeah
he goes he goes
you'll sell a million of those yeah he should yeah yeah can we get paul hollywood
on this show
probably not or prue anyway but you think penguin number one a great show so i
need to watch it yeah
colin farrell and no no don't throw up are you gonna throw up god i mentioned
colin farrell he
throws up yeah because i it's i want to suck his dick so bad my mouth gets lubed
that good of an actor
oh bye oh my god all right so hmm it's gonna be a tough episode it's gonna be
great are you gonna
throw up again please don't halloween i'm gonna yak if you think it's halloween
please don't do it
spooky stuff what spooky stuff if you throw up i'll throw up i'm serious don't
do it please don't
throw up i i i i okay i'm already getting all right moist mouth anyway
goes out oh the romulus oh no let's go back to the penguin sorry are these
announcements
yeah yeah yeah all right well let me just do it okay oh yeah yeah whatever but
the real star of the
character is sophia falcon is the you you fall in love with this character sophia
falcon yeah yeah
the name is incredible yeah this woman i mean oh i love her she kills it she's
from um
how i marry my your mother how my mother mother no no what did i see her there's
something else
she's in that palm springs time travel movie yes yeah i like that oh yeah kristen
kristen milotti
yeah she kills it she's awesome she her character so anyway let's go back to
okay so then um alien
romulus was pretty good too and let's go back to what was going on oh yeah so
um i'll get to the
vomit in a second can't wait okay but um so then you you know what happened so
i was in for the last 10
days i've been in canada in the woods yeah in three hours north of toronto and
i was bamboozled into
doing something a favor for a friend okay which is um an extreme camping thing
but you can't talk about
i can't to talk about yeah because it was like the one of the most miserable
human experiences of my
life i didn't eat i didn't sleep i was frozen solid wet all the time it kept
raining the food it was just
fucking terrible damn and i learned how to make traps i learned how to make a
tent what's so funny
that's cool no what kind of traps squirrel traps what what for what for food no
no oh nice yeah no no
just laid money out all over the no no like i put like well they put these like
a granola like you
take the wood you take a piece of um a rock yo what there's no way you know how
to do that
i learned how to do it i know but you forgot it already anybody i did a
different thing what i
made it my own okay i took the crew girl out yeah i put candy corn you just ate
the granola so i can
so i can trap dwarves you catch a brad williams yeah yeah so i thought i think
you if you switch
them out you can catch a dwarf that's smart yeah yeah so a