Name: Rudy's Fantastic Fail | Ep 245 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2024-11-18T17:00:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy's Fantastic Fail | Ep 245 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy's Fantastic Fail | Ep 245 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-18. Transcript available.

Rudy's Fantastic Fail | Ep 245 | Bad Friends

This episode of Bad Friends is presented and fueled by Huel, your go-to for
complete nutrition.
Try Huel with 15% off today using code BADFRIENDS at my.huel.com slash BADFRIENDS.
Hey, Scary Times USA.
We did a live. It was really great.
So much fun.
Yeah, you have to check it out, man.
You have to check it out. A lot of people think it might be up on YouTube. It's
not.
It's only going to be at Moment.co slash BADFRIENDS.
The link is in the description for 11 days. That's all we got left.
We have hoodies and shirts and stuff that's only custom for that.
This was one of the most fun live episodes, interactive with fans that we've
done.
We're going to keep doing them. We love them.
But in 11 days, gone forever.
Gone forever.
So go to Moment.co slash BADFRIENDS.
Watch it.
You two are BADFRIENDS.
Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
You two are something.
We're BADFRIENDS.
Does a bee have a dick?
Does it? Yes.
Male bees, also known as drones, have a penis or beanus.
They got a beanus.
It gets ripped out.
What?
What?
His penis is doomed to be ripped out from his body along with his intestines
when he goes
looking for love.
So the moment he has sex, penis gone.
Wow.
One and done.
That's why they're very faithful.
Yeah.
During the mating fight, flight, several male bees called drones will be
selected from thousands
of others in their colony to mount the virgin queen bee mid-flight.
So they all, oh, so she's a skank.
So she takes it from all these bees.
Yeah.
They give it to her and then they die.
You don't have to raise your hand.
What's up?
What's up?
We're like professors at a college.
Yes, young lady?
Rudy, please.
There's a video on TikTok about a girl that banged 101 men.
Okay.
That has nothing to do with bees.
Queen bee.
Oh.
Is that her name?
Queen bee?
It should be.
Wait a minute.
There's a woman who's banged 101 men.
What?
What?
In her lifetime?
No, like once.
In one sitting?
In one day.
Yeah.
I mean, those are called gangbangs.
Not gangbangs.
What do they call them?
Yeah, gangbangs.
Gangbang, yeah.
No, that's more than a gangbang.
101 guys?
One day.
That's a small colony.
I never get invited to those parties, do you?
I did get invited, but I couldn't make, I had a dinner.
Can I be 102?
Imagine being 102.
A woman films aftermath of sleeping with 101 men in just 14 hours.
Wow.
You gotta be exhausted.
Yeah.
You gotta be exhausted.
Would you rather be 102 or one?
How much would you, how much would I have to pay you to sleep in that bed when
it's done
with 101 guys?
I mean, honestly, for one night, would you sleep in that bed?
After 100?
If I was in the thing, yeah.
No, no, no.
I'm not gonna sleep there if I'm like, I wasn't like, they're like,
you're not a part of it.
How funny though.
And then I'm like, I, yeah.
That's a good fantasy football punishment.
You lose in your fantasy league.
You gotta sleep in the bed of 101 dudes aftermath.
Zoom in a little bit.
That is awful.
Who litter is at an orgy?
Yeah.
Clean up after you sleep.
Right?
Yeah.
You're just throwing paper towels and ketchup packets and like, what the fuck
is going on
here, dude?
You called, you, what?
Yeah, you would.
Oh yeah, I'm eating chicken and stuff?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm eating fried chicken.
Well, you have to wait in line.
She's pretty hot.
What are you gonna do in line?
Well, you'd be on your phone the whole time.
Yeah, I'd be like, TikTok-ing, scrolling, fried chicken, right?
Imagine if it's your turn to get up there and get a banger and you're like,
dude, I am
so close to finishing this Noku.
I have to finish this.
And then guess what else I'm eating?
Huh?
Blue chew.
Yes, you are.
She's actually very hot.
I'm blue chewing it.
She's pretty hot.
Yeah, yeah.
But you know what's so crazy about this is you just called me out a week ago
about this,
about being too, like a clean freak.
You know me.
I'd be waiting in line for the gangbang, cleaning up after everybody.
Oh, I know.
Guys, please don't leave all this stuff.
Especially if it's at your house?
Oh, please.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
That's why we don't host gangbangs anymore.
Wait, so she's an OnlyFans girl.
Her name is Lily Phillips.
Yeah.
And she's, so 101 guys in one day.
Is she setting a, is this at least a record?
No, there's no way.
Yeah, I don't think that's a record.
Yeah, yeah.
I think somebody did it a thousand times.
In 14 hours?
Oh, not in 14 hours.
I don't know.
That's so much.
Because technically, they don't have to come, so you could just have.
What I would do, what I would do is I'd lay there and go, just one pump.
So I can just get through everyone.
That's okay.
One pump.
And then you would have to use a condom, right?
I would fucking hope so.
What?
101 guys.
I would hope you'd wrap it up.
Yeah, but is there.
The girl, the girl said they, she didn't need, um, like an STD test to prove
that they're clean.
What?
They did not?
Yeah.
And did they wear a condom?
You get first priority if you have like a, like a proof, but you don't need.
They have a fast pass like Disneyland.
Wow.
Front of the line.
What?
The way they fast pass.
And then also, you know, they also have the fast pass.
They have kids in wheelchairs that go next to it.
Yeah.
Do those guys get to the front as well?
Or do they have to wait in line?
Well, for military first.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're boarding military.
Why does military get to go for them?
Well, military and, and what is it?
People, people who need more time to board?
Yeah.
Let them go first in the gang bag.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then we'll get to first class.
And then the elderly.
Oh, they got to go.
Come on, Gramps.
Let's go.
I can't wait to peel your pussy to pieces.
Yeah.
So wait a minute, dude.
Look, I just did the math because I'm stupid.
101 guys in 14 hours.
Seven guys an hour.
Seven an hour.
Wow.
That's almost two guys every 15 minutes.
So they are.
Yeah.
It must have sounded like a construction zone next door.
Yeah.
People would have been like, what's going on over there?
Which, I don't know.
I mean, I just, I don't know.
I just wouldn't be able to get it up, I don't think.
Look, if I got a terminal illness.
Yeah.
I'm going to tell my wife, I got to leave you and I got to go join this world's
greatest gangbang.
I got to go.
One time I was at an audition, okay?
Now, this is how the Hollywood stuff starts.
Here we go.
I was at an audition and I walk in and it was all, like, it was Finesse
Mitchell, Eric Griffin,
like all my friends.
And we were high-fiving, right?
We were making each other laugh, right?
And then all of a sudden I hear somebody go, okay, Bobby.
And I ate that audition so bad.
It was fucking bad.
Right.
The same thing's going to happen at that fucking gangbang.
Oh, you're going to fuck around.
I'm going to fuck around, right?
What's up, dude?
You know what I mean?
Great movie or whatever, right?
You did a great job or whatever, right?
And then as soon as my name's called, I'm going to walk in there and it's going
to be completely
dead.
Nothing's going to work.
I don't know, man.
I would have to maybe...
You'd get nervous.
I would grab a breast.
Gotta.
No.
I wonder what her rules...
I would try to get it going, you know what I mean?
So I would grab a breast and I would probably always go, are you okay?
Right.
Is everything okay?
You wouldn't ask?
I'd be the first guy.
I'd be the one guy who kisses her.
And she's like, what are you doing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just want to foreplay a little bit.
A little foreplay.
The world's biggest gangbang, by the way, was a Hollywood studio, Annabelle
Chong, one of
ours.
Look at that.
Oh, Annabelle Chong.
300 men.
Oh my God.
Wait, wait, this is the best part.
It said the participants were far fewer than advertised, so she only got to get
to 251.
Let's be nice.
That's still incredible.
Wow.
Can we see a picture of Annabelle Chong, please?
It was in 95.
That's in 1995?
And she's where?
Scroll down a little bit.
Where's she from?
Grace, her born, University of Southern California.
She went to USC.
She's from Singapore.
Wow.
Hey.
What does she look like now?
Guess who's going to Singapore?
Bobby.
Yeah, yeah.
Annabelle, if you're still working, Bob and I are coming with the Bad Friends
crew.
We'd love to meet you.
What does she look like now?
Animal Chong now.
I mean.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, still pretty good.
Oh, she's pretty.
Yeah.
Wow.
She's known professionally as Annabelle Chong, as a Singaporean former pornographic
actress
who became famous after starring in an adult film that was performed by the
world's biggest gangbang.
So she's no longer working.
But I, she's running like a shop somewhere.
She's probably just doing like a clothing store.
Oh, she's 52, Bob.
Chong's dong.
Oh, she's a bit, whoa.
Younger than you.
The queen of gangbang is younger than you.
That's how you know you're getting older.
Yeah.
Rudy, what's been going on with you?
I failed an exam.
Oh, great.
That's fantastic.
What?
That's bad?
I'm clapping.
That's good.
No, I said, that's fantastic.
You have to fail in order to learn how to win.
To learn how to win.
That's right.
What did you, which one?
Wait, wait, wait.
Let's guess.
Well, ask me some of the questions that's on the exam.
Maybe I can answer them.
I don't even know.
That's why I failed.
Wait, wait, you don't know what topic it was?
What the subject matter was?
It's like DNA, transcript.
Here we go.
I'm the expert of DNA.
Go ahead.
Biology.
You failed biology, right?
Microbiology.
Microbiology.
Give me just any question that they might have.
Are you fucking kidding me?
You don't even know one question on the exam?
She said she failed.
That's why I failed.
How many questions are there?
There were 50 questions.
You don't know one?
No.
Oh, my God.
It's like about transcription.
DNA replication.
Can you talk us about DNA replication?
That's what I'm saying.
Okay, here you go.
Bob, what's the difference between bacteria and viruses?
Well, there are amoebas.
I mean, one has an amoeba.
Fail.
No, I'm not done.
Well, you're done.
You're failed.
No, I'm not.
Can I finish?
Yeah, please.
You know what?
You're so rude.
Thank you.
You know, dude, you know what I realized about you Tuesday when we did the live
show, dude?
You're a little cocky.
I'm cocky?
Yeah.
How?
And a little bit like,
confident and sure of yourself.
People see that.
That's what the audience said.
Remember when they said that?
People see it.
They people see it, right?
That I'm confident?
Yeah.
What do they say Tuesday night?
Why are we bringing this up?
She's starting a war.
What do they say Tuesday night?
They asked Andrew if he was better than me.
Are you arrogant or you think you're better than him?
That's what I'm getting at.
You know what I mean?
And I want you to lower it.
No, I don't think I'm better than anybody except for you.
See, that's what I'm saying.
It's just you.
That's it.
I treat her very well.
But I wonder why the audience read that.
It's one woman.
Okay.
One woman said that.
And also, by the way, I know why she said that.
What?
There's a bad, she's negging.
It's a bad neg.
Yeah.
It's like a bad flirt.
It's a shitty flirt.
So, I'm sitting in the audience watching Andrew perform, and there was a pretty
attractive
woman next to me.
And during one of your jokes, people are laughing, and she turns to me, and she
goes, your friend's
hot.
And you know what I did?
I went, it was just an instinctual, like, was this a girl that you were with or
just a
random girl?
Some random girl, but I just wanted to, if I could spit out poison, you know
what I mean?
Blinded her.
Rattled, dude, I went, right in her neck, you know what I mean?
Like a scorpion, right in the neck, dude.
You're very buff, D2N.
Oh, fuck off!
I love you, Rude.
You know what?
Let me say this.
Oh, here we go.
I'll say this.
I love our fans more than anything.
I thank them graciously.
It means the world to me.
People may think that I'm, like, shut down or cold, but if you know me, you
know I'm not.
I just have a demeanor that has so much trauma and damage that I just