Name: Where Is Waldo Bobby? | Ep 246 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2024-11-25T17:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Where Is Waldo Bobby? | Ep 246 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Where Is Waldo Bobby? | Ep 246 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-25. Transcript available.

Where Is Waldo Bobby? | Ep 246 | Bad Friends

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You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
You two are something.
We're bad friends.
And what state is this in?
This is in Michigan.
In Michigan.
Smashing beers.
Are you being recognized?
Are you recognized there?
No.
I didn't get recognized once.
Not one time there?
Not once.
You gotta be crazy.
Did I get recognized at all?
A single time.
Not once.
At a college frat party?
Not once.
And look at this.
That was the stadium.
That's called the Big House in Michigan.
Oh, you know what that looks like?
Huh?
Remember when Bain took off that football field?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I wish that would happen there.
They did a flyover.
How great would it have been if Bain showed up with a nuclear, you know what I
mean?
What would it have been better?
What would you have done?
Nothing.
You're not Batman.
You're nothing.
Sorry.
I went crazy.
It was so fun.
Yeah, sorry.
We had a great time.
Good job.
Fantastic.
What did you do this weekend?
Nothing.
I saw a movie.
What did you see?
Oh, my God.
In the Mood for Love.
You ever see it?
Wong Kar Wai.
Beautiful movie.
One of my favorite movies.
One of my favorite movies now.
What a movie.
Where do you find time?
In the Mood for Love, dude.
Look at this thing.
Two Chinks in Love.
That's what they should have called it.
No, no.
I'll tell you about this movie.
Two Edamame.
This movie is so subtle.
It's so subtle.
And in the beginning, I was like, oh, I'm done.
I hate this.
It's boring.
Right?
I don't even know.
Also, halfway doing it, like, what's going on here?
But when you figure out what's going on, it's just so nice.
It's about forbidden love, dude.
The kind of love that you and I have.
It's so forbidden.
No, it's forbidden.
No, it's not.
It's not forbidden, dude.
Ours is very forbidden.
It's about two people that they know they can't link up, so they never do.
But there's such love there.
Because they're married or something?
Yeah, they're both married.
Right.
And it's like...
What, do they work together?
No, they're just neighbors.
Oh, my God.
That's an age old story.
And their couples are cheating.
Oh, they're...
And they went to Japan.
They took a trip to Japan.
Wow.
And so now these two are, like, in this, you know what I mean?
Like, complex, living next to each other.
And they reenact, you know what I mean?
How their spouses got together.
So they would go through the dialogue and scenarios and stuff right there.
And then through the process, they fall in love.
But at the end, they don't link up.
And it's like, it's so sweet.
It's like, I have fantasies of, like, your pink butthole.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
And my penis.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
And it's vibrating.
Yeah, like, shivering.
And mine's shivering, right?
But it doesn't enter.
That's what we have.
Well, there's like...
It can't.
It's unforbidden.
And magnets are both the same charge.
Exactly.
You know what I mean?
Right, right.
You just keep missing.
I want to switch the maggot.
You...
The maggot?
The maggot.
The magnet.
Is that what you call your penis?
A maggot?
It's sucked in.
But I don't.
Can't be.
It's the same...
You and I have the same thing, dude.
It's forbidden love.
We're both pluses.
I'm a minus.
You're...
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm a minus.
Think about it.
I'm a minus.
You're a minus, dude.
I'm a minus, dude.
I know you're a minus, dude.
So does this guy, his neighbor, the woman he's actually in love with, does she
look like
his wife?
Here's the interesting part of the movie.
You never see their couples.
Right.
You always see the backside of their back.
Right.
Or their voice.
You never see them because it makes the audience not have any sympathy for them.
Right.
Right?
Right.
And so you're only focused on these two.
And then like six years later, there's one scene where this dude goes, what's
what?
Why are you laughing?
Because it's got to be something funny coming up.
Oh, this is all boring?
Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no.
One scene what?
No, no, forget it.
No, no, I'm teasing.
No, you're right.
It's a comedy podcast.
And this is not a film analysis podcast.
Wait.
So I won't say it.
I get it.
I'm joking.
I don't think you are.
Please.
I think I'm meandering.
I like the meandering.
And I'm like, okay, I'll tell you that.
I meandered about Michigan.
You can cut it out to tell you.
I'll tell you what it is.
No, I meandered about football.
You don't care about that.
I know.
I listened to the whole Michigan, Michigan.
It was like five seconds.
I don't know.
I didn't like it.
All right.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
I don't like that.
What was that?
What was that?
Him on the shoulder.
He was recognized by hundreds of young, beautiful college girls begging for Macomb.
I thought you said that you weren't recognized.
I said I wasn't.
You were recognized.
From Bad Friends.
All day.
All day long.
And then, because you weren't around, probably.
Huh?
Oh, I know what you were doing.
What do you mean I wasn't around?
We were together.
I know what you were.
I took that video.
I know what you were doing, dude.
You're doing that thing.
What am I doing?
Machismo.
What's machismo about?
It's that confident thing.
You know when that lady at the Tuesday night said when you're on stage?
It's like this, you know, come on.
Machismo?
It's like this, I'm stoic, I'm a star, they get afraid.
Where I'm more open.
I'm like more of an open book.
Oh, you're saying I didn't get approached because of my machismo?
No one knew who I was.
Star power.
Nobody knew who I was.
How do they know him then?
Of course I got to approach, you fucking moron.
A million people took pictures with me.
I'm the king, bitch.
That's what I thought.
Next clip.
Can I finish my thing then?
Yes, dude.
God damn, dude.
No, actually, it was rad.
How many, the young kids that came up that love bad friends.
And you know how many times, what did I hear?
A thousand times.
Where's Bobby?
A thousand times.
Where's Bobby?
Where's Waldo?
You are my, where they're looking for you, baby.
I'm more like Waldo.
No, you're, everyone was like, is Bobby with you?
Is Bobby with you?
They were freaking out.
Anyway, I want somebody to draw like a where's Waldo, but with me in it.
Where's Bobby?
That's a good idea.
That'd be fun.
Put pandas in it.
It'll be called where's Bobby, comma, there's Andrew.
I don't know why I keep saying that.
And I just, a tall redhead guy standing out of a little crowd.
Can I finish?
It'll be a sea of Asians.
Where's Bobby?
And there's Andrew.
Yeah.
Finish this movie though.
Oh, so he goes, um, I'm in love with you.
I got to leave.
Right?
He said that to the girl.
Yeah.
And where does he go?
Where we're going?
Singapore.
Singapore.
Really?
Yeah.
He goes to Singapore and like months pass by.
He's trying to forget about her.
So he's seeing other women now?
No.
No, he's still with his wife.
No, his wife is gone.
She died.
No, they, they're, they're not, they're separated.
They stopped talking about her in the movie.
Right.
Yeah.
They stopped talking about her in the movie.
And he's out with his friend, a friend at a bar or whatever.
And then while he's out with his friend, she flies to Singapore.
His, the new, the love, the unrequited love.
Unrequited love.
She smokes a cigarette.
Does she know he's there?
Yeah.
She knows she's at her plate.
She smokes a cigarette, right?
And then he kept one of her slippers, his slippers that he, you know what I
mean?
To remind, she takes the slippers and she just leaves.
So he comes back and he looks at the cigarette and it, you know, there's
lipstick on it.
Oh yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
And he sees, he can't find the slippers.
So he knows she was there, but he never sees her again in the whole, in her,
his whole life.
Wow.
What?
Are you being real right now?
That's, wow.
That, that was a stunning, I mean, I'm serious.
And then five years later, she goes, no?
No.
It's a non-smoking.
So five years later, let me finish it.
Five, may I?
I miss you so much.
I knew you were going to do that.
I know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I can't worry if you visited me in the hospital.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have a cancer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So go.
So the last scene of the movie, right?
Yes.
Six years later, she goes back to the apartment building, but now she has a kid.
We don't know who the kid's from.
Not the same, not her ex-husband.
It could have been from her ex-husband.
We don't know.
We don't know, right?
And she wanted to visit the lady that rented her this place because she knew
that she was
leaving.
And so from her apartment or from where she was, she can look into where his
bedroom was
outside.
Uh, yeah.
He just happens to visit, you know what I mean?
And they see each other through the window on these opposite kind of apartments.
Yeah.
And he goes like, he kind of does this and she goes, and tears just start
rolling down
her eyes, but they don't link up.
Oh, it's just in the mood for love, baby.
And that's what I want.
You're in the mood for love.
I'm in the mood for love, dude.
And that's the kind of romance I want.
No, you actually want to be with someone.
No, no, no.
I want, I, no, I like, like in Paris, Texas, I love movies where it doesn't
work.
Is this a metaphor for your life?
Or is that what you want?
You don't want that.
It makes love more mysterious.
And like, I like.
But it's infinitely sad.
I know, but I like the longing, like Dr. Zhivago, where he reaches her and then
he
dies.
I just love the longing.
Yeah.
I love the devastation.
I like being out in my backyard by myself on the lawn chair, like I do with a
cigarette
and I long for love.
That's a wish can be true.
That's a wish can be true.
Say it right.
Say it right.
Dude, when I'm in my mood, I'm in a good mood.
I'm in a love mood.
Say it right.
Would you say when you're sitting on the lawn with your cigarette on your lawn
chair,
you're, it's more that you're shorting more so than longing.
When you're on a lawn chair, your legs don't go to the bottom, do they?
They don't.
That's so funny.
How hard is it for you to lift the back up?
Sometimes I can't even lift it.
That's like, I can't, yeah, I can't, yeah.
You're longing for love, but I think you deserve real love.
I don't want, I want you to find.
I don't think it's real.
Yes, it is.
It's not.
What do you mean it's not real?
It's not real.
Love in general?
I don't think it is.
Well, there's different levels of love.
I believe that.
We talked about this in the car ride.
Being in love is a phrase I think is conflated by society to be this.
Who knows what that means?
But you've loved, you loved your exes.
That's all love.
But then it ultimately never worked out.
That's okay.
That doesn't.
Because there's a longing.
Love doesn't always.
A shorting, I mean.
There was a shorting.
There was a shorting.
The shorting with Bobby Lee.
I know, but I haven't met the mysterious one.
But it's coming.
It may.
That's what I like about it.
That's the longing.
Yeah, like I met somebody, but she used to see somebody that we know.
That's tough.
I know, but.
Did they date or they hooked up?
They were dated.
Oh.
And in my mind, I'm like, that's exactly what I would want to do.
She doesn't like me, but that's the kind of girl I want.
How do you know she doesn't like you?
I can just tell.
But just everything about her in terms of what I heard her say,
her vibe, her everything.
God, I want to know who it is.
I can't tell you.
Not on the air.
I'll never tell you.
Really?
Yeah, because it's a shorting, dude.
This is the shorting?
Yeah, I'm in the mood for love right now, dude.
And it's a shorting situation, and it's like, you cannot know this.
Sometimes when you're at an airport, too, right?
Yeah.
Many times this happened.
Maybe five or six times in my life where a girl will walk by.
She'll lock eyes with you, and she'll smile.
And she's beautiful, and I'll smile, right?
And there's an