Name: We're Leaving LA w/ Jimmy O Yang | Ep 253 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-01-20T17:00:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We're Leaving LA w/ Jimmy O Yang | Ep 253 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We're Leaving LA w/ Jimmy O Yang | Ep 253 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-20. Transcript available.

We're Leaving LA w/ Jimmy O Yang | Ep 253 | Bad Friends

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Hey, Bad Friends! This week, I'm going to be in Philly and in New York. I'm
playing the Met
and the Beacon. I'm so very excited. I'm so humbled. I cannot believe I get to
play
two beautiful venues, New York and Philly. Come out and see me. Then I'm doing
San Diego
and Phoenix and San Francisco. We added a show. Then I'm going to be doing
Boston,
going over to Boston, my friends. Then I'm finishing this tour in Minneapolis,
Minnesota.
Come see me in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'm doing four shows. That's where I'm
shooting my special.
I'm so very excited. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets. andrewsantino.com.
You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.
You two are something. We're bad friends.
Dude, did you fall asleep last night? No, bro. Yeah, you did.
No, no, no. I liked your – No, you have – today you liked it.
No, no. I liked – So you're saying that I could have died.
No, I liked it at four in the morning. I promise you.
No, I could see the phone right now.
Yeah, you could see it.
Well, what can you see?
That I did it at four in the morning. I know –
Oh, God. I could have died last night.
You definitely couldn't have died.
He.
He could have died last night.
No, he could have killed me.
Well, he's sick right now too.
Are you sick?
Yeah.
From the fires, dude. It's the smoke.
No, he's sick. You know he's sick.
Those are meth.
Meth nose. Meth nostrils.
I've never done meth.
Those are nostrils. Those are meth nostrils.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bobby texted me at three in the morning saying like doors were unlocked and to
come in if the fire hits.
That's sexy.
No, it's not, dude.
No, that's not sexy?
It's not sexy. No.
Oh, I thought that was sexy.
No, I had everything set up.
I had the – cat crates, everything set up.
And I liked it an hour later.
No, dude, I could have died like – because I fell asleep knowing that you
were my garden angel and nah, I could have died.
Angels need to take naps.
You say –
So last night, what happened?
You're saying garden angel?
Garden angel, dude.
Like he lives in a garden?
That's right, dude.
My little garden angel.
He's a garden angel, dude.
He's a lawn gnome, dude.
He is, kind of.
So last night, when time did you get in?
I kept texting you on the flight.
I kept texting you from the sky.
Yeah.
I landed at 1035.
My God.
Oh, wow.
I saw the smoke the whole way.
It was wild.
Wow.
I saw the fires the whole way.
Last night, I texted Carlos because I was so tired.
I go, so just – I'm going to fall asleep, but just in case, if it gets out of
control, I'm going to leave my bedroom door open.
Hot.
Yeah.
And then wake me up.
I have the bags packed.
Yeah.
Get the cats in the cradle.
Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon.
LA is on fire.
And it's Newsome Falls.
Yeah, yeah.
So, it's that mayor we have.
Where are you going to –
Hey, Los Angeles.
This is Mayor Karen Baird.
Yeah, where are you going, baby?
She's done, dude.
She's done, dude.
Right?
Yeah.
She's cooked.
She's done, dude.
Why?
She stayed silent.
They're interviewing her.
Dude, that was crazy.
Silent.
Yeah, yeah.
They were like –
Sweet British guy's like, Madam Mayor, have you got anything to say to the
people of Los Angeles?
You cut the fire department fund and all that stuff, and she kept quiet.
But last night, right?
So, I'm like –
I fell asleep.
I'm like, okay, Carlos asked me.
This morning, he liked my thing.
And so, which means that he had slept through it, so if my house was on fire, I'd
be dead.
You'd be dead.
But I was texting you the whole night.
I texted you back and forth.
In fact, I got a call from Kalilah.
How many calls did you get from Kalilah yesterday?
Two.
Well, I got a call mid-flight, and until I texted, I was like, I can't answer.
I'm on a plane.
Yeah.
Why can't – by the way, why can't I answer?
I'm on a plane.
Can't they just make it available for us to take a call on a plane?
It'll interfere with the radio.
No, it won't.
There's no way that's –
There's no way.
There's no way.
There's a lot of things they should –
Like, closing the windows when you're landing, what's that all about?
Give me a break.
I know why they do that.
Why?
So when it's on fire, you can't see.
You can't see it.
So no one panics?
Yeah, so you don't panic, right?
Here's another one.
Tray table.
Why does that have to –
Be up?
Up or down or whatever, whatever.
Shouldn't matter.
Yeah.
And by the way, if the plane crashes, the tray table, I want it to cut me in
half.
I know.
Let it sever me in half.
Well, no, it would hit your head because they want you to bend over.
Well, they want you to eat your own balls.
It's such a weird – they, like, tuck your head in your lap.
Another one.
Here's another one that drives me crazy.
Give it to me.
I feel like we're doing hacky road stuff.
One is on one driving and flying.
What is that, Seinfeld?
Not good.
Well, you just did it.
That was my –
What's the deal with flying?
What's the deal with flying?
Anyway, another one is –
Some of you poor folk –
Some of you poor folk might not know this one.
Okay.
Let me –
I want you to see if you can guess, all right?
Hmm.
You can have the waist, right?
But what else do they want in first class sometimes?
What are you talking about?
Have the waist?
The waist seat belt.
Yeah.
Right?
There's another thing they tell you to do.
Sit up straight?
The shoulder one.
Oh, the strap one?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right?
The double strap.
It's like, I'm already this.
Why do I need that?
Yeah, they need – we want this, too.
Because you'll fold in half.
Oh, is that what it is?
Yeah, you'll fold in half.
I don't – you know what?
There's no logic to it.
But I will say this.
You can't tell me – we have people that live in space, right?
We have someone that lives at the International Space Station.
They live in space.
You can't tell me the plane can't have a separate radio from me taking a phone
call?
Dude, that's a good point, dude.
What are you talking about?
Write a letter, dude.
I'm going –
Karen Bass.
Will you start to write a letter to Karen Bass?
Write a letter to Karen Bass, dude.
Dear Karen Bass.
Yeah.
Why can't you figure this radio plane stuff out?
Okay, I have another one.
Get it.
The fucking seat belt sign's on, right?
Yeah.
Ding.
You have diarrhea.
Every flight.
Me too.
Literally every flight.
So I get up, right?
And then the stewardess goes – what do you call them?
Flight attendant goes.
Yeah.
You have to sit, right?
And I go, but you're standing.
Yeah.
Cirque du Soleil.
Whoa.
You think you have better balance than me, Cirque du Soleil?
Cirque du Soleil, but yes.
Whatever, right?
No, no, no.
I bet you money – I want to see the stewardess.
Cirque du Soleil?
Yeah, I want to see –
Ole!
Ole!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She does a flip.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ole!
I want to see the money, lady.
Or she's just a guy.
Or sir.
Sir, whatever.
Who knows?
Right?
If we were on one of those longs in the lake, I would win.
100%.
Right?
Not even a competition.
Don't pretend that you're log champion.
You're not.
You know that one?
You know that one?
That's a log champion.
That's – dude, look at my form, dude.
Look, look, look, look.
Look at my form!
Now it's going backwards.
Yeah, yeah.
Switch, switch.
Yeah, so –
You know how they go switch, they go forward, and they go backwards.
What I'm saying is that, no, if you're standing, I stand.
If you're stand, I stand.
Don't you think?
Stand up for your right to fight.
Do you have any other flight ones?
I'll tell you one right now because this is crazy.
Okay.
And this applies to everybody.
They entice you on these frequent flyers.
You know, they're like, ooh, you get miles, right?
Like it means shit.
It doesn't mean shit.
It doesn't mean diarrhea.
They lie.
So here's what happens.
I'm in Terminal 5.
I'm about to fly on JetBlue because it shares it with American.
I fly to American my whole career.
We've been on the road.
You know why?
Because you're an American.
God bless.
God is good.
God bless America, man.
No, but look, I've been an American customer because my dad was when we
traveled a lot.
Now I've switched a lot back and forth, but I have over a million miles on
American.
Over a million, right?
And check this out.
I politely go to the lounge and I say to the woman, hey, I know I'm not
traveling American today.
I'm traveling JetBlue.
It's the same terminal.
They don't have a lounge, but I want to get something to eat because I haven't
eaten.
I'm running around.
I haven't eaten.
I go, is it cool if I go in there?
Because I'm a...
And she goes, you have to fly American.
I go, can I show you my loyalty or whatever?
And she's like, no, I don't care.
And I have the card.
And I was like, no, I mean, just please, can I just get like a coffee and
something to eat?
I haven't eaten all day.
She's like, no, you have to be flying American.
And I said, I have over a million miles.
What else do you want me to do?
Dude, I give your company so much money every year.
I'm not saying I'm entitled, but it's like, dude, cut me a break.
Can I get a coffee and a fucking donut?
I fly with you guys a million fucking miles a year.
I don't want to fight with you.
Start it.
Yeah.
Start it.
I don't want to.
No, start it.
I don't want to start another fire.
No, start it.
I don't want to start another fire.
Start one in this room.
And then we'll get an alert.
By the way, we get an alert on our phone.
Man, man.
Bobby goes, you're telling the whole city to evacuate.
I was like, read it.
I was mentioning common things that normal people go through, right?
And you had to throw in.
Oh, the first class strap was a common thing, you fucking liar.
You fucking liar.
This is what the fans don't know.
You're a fucking liar.
No, you're a liar.
He started off by saying the poor people, liar.
I never said that.
Yeah, you fucking did.
Roll the tape.
Oh, yeah, I did.
Yeah, he did.
Okay.
Here's what he does.
He plays this victim card and the fans think like, poor innocent Bobby.
Dude, he's a brat.
You guys don't know shit.
You guys are so out of your element.
And by the way, everybody can get access to a lounge.
That's not like a privileged thing.
If you travel with an airline enough, you can go to the lounge.
It doesn't matter how many points you have.
You can go.
And by the way, and by the way, little boy, you didn't have any status until I
signed you
up for all of your frequent flyer because I said, I'm trying to help you out.
Another thing you don't fucking take care of.
I didn't listen to a word you just said.
Let me say something.
I know you did.
Carla, you've been to the airport with him, right?
Oh, yeah.
What's up with him in the lounge?
He's always like, meet me in the lounge.
What am I?
I'm like, I don't want to go to the lounge.
I want to go get a snack.
I want to eat food.
Thank you, George.
We have money.
We can go to Dunkin' Donuts.
They have better snacks.
Why would I pay when I can just sit down and relax?
They don't have chocolate donuts in the lounge.
Well, you should stop getting Dunkin' Donuts.
It's kid mentality.
He's a child.
McDonald's over cafeteria food.
Yeah.
I'll take, I'll take.
Whoa, what?
He's saying.
Go ahead, George.
It's shitty food.
It's airplane.
Oh, lounges aren't cafeteria food.
No, no, no.
But I know what he's saying.
It's comparative.
My point is, I just want to have like a cup of coffee and sit down and relax
because you
get to the gate and you're like, well, there's nowhere to sit.
So I'm going to stand here like a fucking dildo waiting for the flight.
And then it's not worth it.
I'd rather go to the lounge, get a cup of coffee, sit down, read some emails.
It's so, that's why every time I invite, by the way, when we do go to the
lounge together,
you fucking liar, you love it.
You're a fucking liar.
When we were in Australia, we went in the lounges, you fucking loved it.
Didn't you?
Didn't you?
