Name: One Good Korean | Ep 254 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-01-27T17:00:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'One Good Korean | Ep 254 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'One Good Korean | Ep 254 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-27. Transcript available.

One Good Korean | Ep 254 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
you two are something we're bad friends it's a new year by the way it is a new
year and it's
a new year any resolutions that you got coming up oh my god you have no idea
what you're saying
right now dude you're no i have resolution i'm can we say resolution city you're
in resolution
city yeah that's where i'm in resolution city right let's break it down so um i'm
gonna work on some
other addictions what are they why are you my therapist or a cop both okay so
officer um i have
um i do some strange things that um this is not funny it's just real now real
is good so there's
this netflix you know how sometimes you go to netflix and there's mobile games
you can download
oh yeah okay i'm the you're thinking who's this for me you know i mean i
download all of them
right but there's this one game that i play and um there's like 10 000 levels
but i only play one level
a thousand times what eight hours at a time just sitting there on my kitchen
counter and the level is like two minutes and it's the same basic level it's
like a it feels like a candy candy crusher game it's one of those like puzzly
games where you know i mean you line things up
wait i saw you play this yeah it's i only play one level and i was telling my
therapist the other day and she goes stop
why because it's um i'm running away i'm not you know i mean i'm being obsessive
about something and i do it because i don't want to feel
you know i mean it's like there's i do a lot of things where it's like i don't
want to feel so i just
i'll watch the same youtube video over and over again and it becomes um it's
not it's not healthy
i'll tell you i had to i i got a good feel i got a good cry this morning big
time whenever i want a real
good cry what do you see i watched that ian wright video with with uh with the
teacher with mr pigden
yeah i thought you was dead yeah yeah what a great video i'm very much alive ian
yeah and he goes
someone told me you was dead yeah that's a great fuck i cry every time yeah i
watch if i need a good
cry watch ian wright reunited with uh his his primary school teacher mr pigden
and why do you
why do i love that you not love that well he's the he's the most uh prolific
golf goal scorer in
arsenal's history thank you and he said in the you know what he said in it that
was so powerful that
really moved me in a way two things he goes he was crying and ian said mr pigden
said
it meant more to him that ian wright played for the country of england than
when he flew over
buckingham palace that was more important to him that someone he coached wow
played for england wow
and then he said he turned to hug him and uh he was like two steps down they're
in the stadium they're
up on the stairs and when he hugged him he was below mr pigden you know like he
was he was hugging
his waist almost i saw that's all yeah and he goes and i felt like i was seven
years old again i was a
young child being embraced by someone a father figure dude i was i it gets me
wow every time
every time but when whites oh what about the what what about the what what
about the what about the
whites there's so many good things to say about the whites not lately dude i
know lately as of as of
not no you know what i mean but you know what i'm saying is over the history
yeah you guys get a bad
rap we do get a bad yeah yeah and what i want to say is you know i mean they
have you guys done
extraordinary humanitarian you know i mean deeds some of us some of you schindler
we've talked about
what a list that's it schindler and ian wright's coach mr pigman yeah yeah mr
pigment that's it yeah yeah
no but what i'm saying is is what when uh it's it's human all humans have
someone i'm sure there's
a korean out there like that oh you gotta be somewhere what do you think i don't
know where
they are like a one good korean that like helped uh that's a great movie one
good korean
yeah yeah that's it yeah yeah did you see the guy that snuck into north korea
took video of the
traffic cop with his phone did you see this no they're gonna get this guy yeah
yeah this is what
i think about these guys you're off your head they're gonna get you dude they're
gonna come
find you and kill you did he go back to south korea then they can't find him no
no he left north
korea and went somewhere else look at i don't know where it is it was on tiktok
this how do we take
him out how do we take him out kim jong il own do you want to take him out i do
see here's my thing
because that there's millions of people that live there and they're in poverty
and it's like
they still believe that we're getting ready for the war with the u.s we don't
think about you
ever you say that until they start some shit what if they start some shit
they can't make how says who but with like russia they could in china but them
alone they're like
what did you just say with russia and china they could oh yeah but what are you
talking about i
thought you meant just them it'd be like no one yeah but russia and china no
one acts alone other
than germany and look how that turned out so now the axis of evil could reunite
and start another war
and why wouldn't they honestly why wouldn't they the time is now be awesome we're
they're ready i'm
ready to go dude let's go blow this whole thing up let me ask you something i
want post apocalyptic
if there's if there's a world war three yeah and you and i were called in there's
a draft and we go we
need everybody everybody yeah even carlos even carlos and mccone yeah yeah but
he is at whole duty
those guys are inside yeah no i mean no he's glory hold glory hold yeah yeah
just sucking off the
soldiers before no no no i'm just saying that he you find like if we're in like
you know
oh i see yeah yeah yeah you know we're fighting in hong kong right yeah and
then the sergeant goes
find the glory holes yeah he knows where they are yeah that's like but we don't
put dicks in we put
bombs in there oh they look explosive i was gonna say like notre dame football
they slap a sign that
says play like a champion as they go out onto the field they all smack it yeah
it's funny if every
soldier before they go to war they just get to stick their cock in carlos's
mouth he's just standing
next to he's like go ahead anyway if you would you would you be in the same platoon
as me i don't
think they would put us in the same platoon well you think there's an asian no
what are you talking
about oh just no no no strength and skill strength and skill strength and skill
no no dude are you
pissed me off today dude am i i'm just no i i would call my agents no dude you'd
never get in this
we never get in the same category that's crazy no platoons are they're like
this is the no they
have a mix have you seen no shut the fuck up have you ever seen saving private
ryan there's a mixture
of different people you know i mean of it there's the one guy that's scared
like you know you're like
the fucking um in saving private ryan uh the guy that plays the uh interpreter
even though i don't
know chinese yeah you'd be the yeah but i'm just saying i there's got to be
something that i can do
i'm the dennis hopper character like the eccentric you know i mean yeah hey man
you know i mean
war is globalization whatever i don't know yeah i say things you know i don't
know what do you think
i know you'd be you'd be one of the lunatic one of the crazy boys in the bunch
yeah but what
would you not push for that i wouldn't want there's no way that i could i
wouldn't want you in my
platoon but then the whole time i'm at war i'm like you know what's andrew
doing i have to write
you letters i'd be missing you that'd be so much fun we'd i'd see you from afar
also if we're in the
same platoon think about that then i'm gonna see we're gonna see each other die
i'd rather sit in a
tent at night hoping that you're well writing you letters like a long lost love
affair on the other
side of the battle and i want to find out that you die from someone that goes
soldier no no no the
dumpling was killed at 435 they wouldn't call me the dumpling yes they would
they wouldn't call me no
they all get nicknames in the army that's what you fucking get everyone gets a
nickname if somebody
called me dumpling i would pull them and say can you change that and they'd be
like you got it you got a
chopstick i want to be chopstick yeah okay so um so you're funny dude the
chinese chode died at 4 44
a.m sir let me say something he was korean right what does it when when a
soldier's at war and they
get shunned they know that they know they're gonna die yeah what is the one
person they call out for
god no no their mom mom mommy remember giovanna ribisi oh my god heartbreaking
can you imagine you
call your mom she's on an ipad she's like leave me alone yeah yeah yeah but
what i'm saying is i would
call out for you andrew you go mom andrew andrew and i'd come running you're
right morphine morphine
bob bob that's what i want you there all right i'll be there with you i you
know what you know what
fuck you i'm not i don't want to be in a platoon i just said yes i just carlos
you want to be the same
platoon hell yeah no fucking way is he gonna get in there dude he's never gonna
pass any of the
tests oh yeah no we're in a situation they're never easy dude they're gonna
take his blood and be like
this kid it's a long war it's where they went 18 to 35 right now they're you
know okay i'm gonna give
you a lord of the rings a lord of the rings reference right yeah in the two
towers right they gave old
men and kids swords to fight right we're in dire straits so we're in a position
where we're all
being called in okay if they ran out of 18 to 35s are done now they need 40 and
ups yes that's what
i'm saying 40 and up yeah so at that point right i would call write a letter to
congress and go can i
be in the same platoon as carl george you're out you want to be in it nah i'm i'm
fine fighting
you you know he's he's fleeing the country oh he's a canada oh well not where
we're one of the no he's
one of those canadian yeah yeah or mexico you know you could see him in me and
he's like you know
wearing tie-dye right you know i mean just with a bandana you know i mean like
this and it's like
shut the fuck up you coward coward dude you you coward yeah yeah so you call
crystals and oh my god
you imagine this guy dude in the 60s dude you're one of those guys patchouli
boy yeah patchouli
boys no my dad pulled the adventist card uh for uh to get out of vietnam your
dad did yeah he said
uh said religious reasons can't fight so then he was uh he went and just got
medical tested on
for the war what was the white coats what was the religion seventh day adventist
adventist adventist adventist and adventist do you know these no let me ask you
something that thing
that trump like is there flat foot oh protestant christian domination flat feet
yeah well for that
but that's that's back in the day that was like back so you know what i would
to get out just give
you dr scholl i wouldn't get flat feet i would claim flat face
dude i would claim flat face could i get out you think your honor dude i got
flat face my friend
has flat face all right he's just not aerodynamic yeah the wind is just gonna
bounce right off of the
sky although i could like camouflage myself on a wall
like rambo yeah dude imagine me just blend it bricks on me right and i could
just stay there i
would stay there for two weeks like this right i wouldn't even you know with a
knife i wouldn't
even do that i would just stay there just stay steady yeah yeah how would you
camouflage
impossible in fire in pot yeah yeah i'd have to be a fireball yeah that is
amazing yeah rambo in all
mud yeah dude remember that yeah that's what i would do but i would do it with
actual brick wall
smart and they would not see me how could they yeah yeah i saw some of the
something was showing out
all like the tricks of the tunnels in vietnam 