Name: Bobby's Baby Powder | Ep 255 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-02-03T17:00:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Baby Powder | Ep 255 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Baby Powder | Ep 255 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-03. Transcript available.

Bobby's Baby Powder | Ep 255 | Bad Friends

Hey, guys, you guys love loved ones?
Loving loved ones is important.
And Valentine's is good.
Valentine's Day is next week, and I'll be in Boston.
If you're not there.
Four shows.
At the big theater, Wilbur Theater.
They're doing four shows.
Yeah.
Bring your loved ones.
Yeah.
Come out, Boston.
Come see me February 14th and 15th.
And then the week after that in Minneapolis, Minnesota, I'm doing four shows.
I'm filming my special.
Please come out and see it.
My Hulu special will be taped in the beloved Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets.
andrewsantino.com.
You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
You two are something.
We're bad friends.
Oh, look at this.
This is great news.
Sesame Street welcomes TJ, the first Filipino-American Muppet.
Finally.
Finally, dude.
Dude, finally.
Finally, dude.
Yeah.
What do the comments say?
Anything rude?
We made it.
We made it.
He's studying to be a nurse, right?
Somebody said that?
Yeah, that's still really funny.
Sesame Street welcomes first nurse puppet.
But here's what I don't get.
And may I, may I, can I, can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
About Sesame Street?
Yeah.
Is there a Chinese one?
Yeah.
What?
Elmo?
Yeah.
No.
Elmo Chinese.
Elmo Chinese.
Who, me?
I'm Chinese.
I'm Chinese.
Yeah, you know, look, I can tell you what everybody is just based on it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
All right.
Okay, let's go.
That's Ernie, right?
That's, yeah, that's no specific.
Ernie is, 100%, he's Puerto Rican.
Ernie is obviously Puerto Rican.
Oh, yeah, Ernie, Ernie.
He's Puerto Rican.
Okay, all right.
Oh, is this the first, uh...
Which one's the Muppet?
Which one's the Muppet?
Asian Muppet.
Her name is G. Young.
That, that is not an Asian Muppet.
That's not an Asian.
That's not on the show.
On the show.
That is on the show.
That is on the show.
But also, that's not...
G. Young.
That's not an Asian Muppet.
He's Korean.
She's Korean.
That girl looks Spanish.
That looks like a Spanish Muppet.
Yeah, they didn't want to...
You know what it is?
You know, Jim Henson's, you know, factory or whatever?
Yeah.
You know the eye drawer?
You got to go back to the eye drawer.
You know the drawer they use?
There's our dog.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There we are.
Here we go.
This is the OG...
This is the OG crew.
Okay, so let's see.
First up is...
Bert, what's Bert?
Bert.
Bert's gay.
Yeah, I know, Bert's gay, but what...
He looks Eastern European.
He's...
Look at the eyebrows.
Slovakian.
Slovakian.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
Just the eyebrows.
And then what about Cookie Monster?
Cookie Monster is Armenian.
He is!
Is he not?
Yeah, bro, bro, eat your cookies!
Yeah.
Armenian for sure.
He drives a white Mercedes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What about Grover down in the left-hand corner?
I've never...
Let me think about Grover.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Autism.
Yes, he's autistic.
Okay, autism?
Right?
But what's his nationality?
What is...
Well, no.
No, what's his race?
Race, I mean, yeah.
What is Grover's race, we think?
I would imagine...
Spanish.
Fancy.
Which are not your son, my sir?
Yeah, exactly, dude.
Exactly, that's what they're like.
Which are not your son, my sir?
When they colonized, there was a million of those.
Yeah.
We're gonna take your country!
Imagine on the beach.
You know what I mean?
We're gonna see you in the country!
We're gonna see you in the country!
We colonize your weekend!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go back to the original picture.
Yeah.
This is the most interesting one that I want your advice on.
Okay.
Because I know you're intelligent and the way that you operate is so astute.
You can always call it out.
I want to see the picture of the crew.
Okay.
Of all the crew, the original Muppet gang.
Okay.
I gotta tell you.
Okay, here we go.
Who is...
Well, he's not even in this.
I was gonna say, Big Bird.
What is Big Bird?
Big Bird?
What is Big Bird?
Big Bird's a bird.
No, dude.
What race is Big Bird?
I think he might be black.
Or is it a guy, Big Bird?
Yeah, yeah.
Who knows, right?
They kind of keep it...
Okay, oh, what about...
Grover.
We did Grover.
Not Grover.
What's the brown guy?
The dog to the top left.
Fozzie.
Fozzie.
Not the right, to the left.
Oh, oh.
The dog is...
What is his name, dude?
Yeah, right there.
Ralph.
Ralph.
Yeah, Ralph.
I mean, we know what Ralph is.
We don't even need to know what he...
Go ahead, man.
No, you go ahead, man.
No, you go ahead, man.
I don't know.
I'm confused.
I don't know.
I'm lost.
You said you know what it is.
I mean, he looks like an adopted black kid.
Yeah, yeah.
By a white family?
Yeah, that white family.
Look at the way he's doing his hair now.
He wants to fit into the family, right?
So he got straightened.
That's not fair.
Yeah, that's not fair.
You're right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go back.
Look at him.
What about Fozzie Bear?
See, Fozzie plays jazz.
Yeah, Fozzie's dope.
He's cool as shit.
He's black.
Yeah.
And what's the woman...
Oh, what about Miss Piggy?
Oh, oh.
Uh-oh.
Well, I mean...
Who is Miss Piggy?
What race would Miss Piggy be?
I mean, if you were to talk about anyone trans, that's, I think, Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy's trans?
It's got to be trans.
You think so?
Yeah.
Yeah, and so Kermit...
Yeah, Kermit...
Yeah.
Kermit doesn't have...
He's like...
He's asexual.
I think he is an...
Yeah, he's an incel.
Honestly, dude, the mind of a man to come up with a world of Muppets...
I just can't...
It is another thing.
The mind of...
The people that...
How do you write a song for Sesame Street?
You and I can do one right now?
No, you can't.
Yeah, we can.
Mathematics!
Twice!
You're already on it.
That's the number two.
Press the record right now.
Yeah, yeah.
Mathematics three times.
Right?
That's the number three.
Okay, how about this?
Yeah, you go.
Ready?
Yeah.
I'm a producer.
Yeah.
And you're a writer.
Yeah.
Listen, dude, we need to write a song.
Kids don't know about vegetables, dude.
That's right.
That's right.
Dude, that writer, like, being...
Confused and kind of scared.
It's funny.
That's right.
And we need pronto, dude.
So we...
All the vegetables.
As many vegetables as you can.
And no fruits.
Got it.
That writer.
Got it.
You got it.
Yeah.
Got it.
We need it in 20?
20 days?
Minutes.
Minutes?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You need it right now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We do.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay.
And that little Asian writer that you have?
Bobby?
Yeah, yeah.
Or Mr. Lila.
Mr. Lila.
He's my assistant.
Your assistant?
Maybe he can help.
Fine, yeah.
I have to get him off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is it?
Lila.
We have a line at the store.
I know, dude.
They can wait.
Oh, my God.
I got something way more important.
What is it?
We need to write a song about vegetables now.
You need to.
We need to, Lila.
You don't pay me.
You owe me.
John?
You never made me the scent.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
All right.
So make it up.
Ready?
What is it about?
Vegetables.
Galleries, asparagus, and spinach down your hatch.
Broccoli.
Broccoli.
Broccoli.
Stop, stop, stop, stop for a second.
Broccoli.
Stop, stop.
Stop, stop.
What?
If we just do one vegetable, like per phrase.
Well, dude, I'm trying to spread it out.
It'll be the longest song.
I meant.
Potato.
Is it a fruit or a vegetable?
Mushrooms, mushrooms, mushrooms, what?
We're two different kinds of artists, dude.
Do you have the song?
We're ready to go.
Yup.
Yeah, yeah.
We're ready.
Bye, Lila.
Okay, here we go.
You ready, sir?
We're going to play it live on the show.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Great.
Yeah, and what Muppet are we going to use for this?
Please say Big Bird.
Please say Big Bird.
The new one.
Oh, the Puerto Rican one.
Yeah, the Puerto Rican one.
Yeah.
Fuck.
The Filipino.
The Filipino.
Pongo.
Pongo.
Yeah.
Okay.
Hi, Pongo.
Do you have the song for me?
Pongo, do you know your vegetables?
But do you...
Okay, I'll read the lyrics.
Mushrooms, mushrooms, mushrooms.
That's it?
Cut.
That's all you got, dude?
That's all we got.
You gave me 20 minutes.
Was that Elton John on it?
Yeah.
Everyone's been...
We should have been on Sesame Street.
Yeah, look at his little pervy.
How about this one?
A little pervy smile.
Yeah.
If you see a man in a van, don't get in.
Oh, right, right, right.
If you see a man in a van, don't get in.
But if you do get in, no, you're karate and taekwondo.
But you're little, so he's gonna get you anyway.
Get the sprays ready.
Get the sprays ready.
And the whistle blow.
Try to escape if you can.
And you.
And when you escape, the van you run.
And there's 12 of them chasing you.
And they are brown, but no race specifically.
No specific race, but they're brown and they have accents, but nothing specific,
but they're not illegal.
Oh, they're here totally, legally.
They're not asylums for refugees.
Call us, Sesame Street.
I figured we could make a song for this, guys.
I gotta be honest with you, dude, this new cologne that you got on is so good.
It's driving me nuts.
Are you being real?
I'm getting horny.
Are you being real?
I'm horny from it.
'Cause I go to the scent room.
I'm so horny.
Can I take you to the scent room?
No, I don't.
I keep it a secret from me.
I'm like you're not.
No, no, no, no.
I'm your little mistress.
You gotta come to the scent room.
I'll buy you a cologne.
It's not about that.
Yeah, it is.
What I like to do, my friend, is I take a friend, usually a woman.
Me?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll dress up for you.
And we go to the scent room.
It's on Larchmont.
Right?
And then they have colognes and perfumes that aren't widely available.
Okay?
I'm going.
I'm being real.
I'm going.
And I give them a smell, like I have this one called, I don't forget what it's
called,
but it smells like cow poo.
Oh, yes.
No, no, be real.
No, moo poo.
Yeah.
No, it's not called moo poo.
It's not moo poo?
Yeah, yeah, I think it is moo poo.
Japanese scent.
Yeah, it's Japanese.
Yeah.
But when you spray it on your body, it changes the chemistry of it.
Right?
Yeah.
It does.
You guys are laughing.
It does.
And you smell like sheep poop.
Right.
Yeah.
It smells like sheep poop.
After that, no.
But it does smell like a barn.
Right?
So I'll go in there and I'll go, hey, so today I'm feeling like, okay, think of
Nirvana.
Whoa.
Or the Enlightenment.
Mm.
Both?
Yeah.
Both, dude.
Both?
Both Nirvanas.
Right?
Right.
And they go, what is it?
I go, the band?
They go, we don't know because they're younger.
Oh, they're kids.
Right, right, right.
So then think Taylor Swift.
Same kind of band.
Same audience.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then think Nirvana, the Enlightenment.
Right?
And then also think about hiking.
Ooh.
And then also think about, right, cock fights.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not the penis.
No, no, no.
I can explain it to them.
Cock fights, the birds.
Not penises fighting, but the birds fighting.
Right?
But also penises fighting.
That too.
Yeah.
You can even say that.
Yeah.
And then go, we'll be right back.
Wow.
And then you don't come back for hours.
You're just standing there in the store.
Right?
Right?
And then you come out and they go, maybe something else?
And I go, I go, no!
Nirvana, cock fights.
Nirvana, hiking, cock fights.
Right?
You know what I mean, the two cocks?
Two cock fights.
Two cock, different kinds of cock fights.
We'll be right back, another hour passes, right?
And then go, here we go.
And this is it.
No, that's not the one I'm wearing now.
That's not the cock fight?
No, no, no.
But that's what I'm saying.
You and I can go in there.
Like, what do you want to smell like?
Ooh, okay.
Hootie and the Blowfish.
Well, I'm the guy.
Yeah.
Welcome to the scent room.
Hi.
I'm Demitri.
Hi, Demitri.
Yeah, and Lai Lai.
Demitri Lai Lai.
Yes.
Wonderful to meet you.
Call me Mr. Lai Lai.
Okay, Mr. Lai Lai.
Yeah, well, hi.
Hi.
What are you doing?
I'm here to buy a scent.
What were you thinking?
Ooh, I'm thinking like what my vibe is right now.
I think-
Well, not now.
Oh, okay.
Went for another time?
In the future.
Mm.
Let's say 10 years from now.
Got it.
Right?
Because I know what you're going to be doing 10 years from now.
You do?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You're going to-
Does it look a li