Name: In the Presence of a Movie Star | Ep 259 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-03-03T17:00:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'In the Presence of a Movie Star | Ep 259 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'In the Presence of a Movie Star | Ep 259 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-03. Transcript available.

In the Presence of a Movie Star | Ep 259 | Bad Friends

- You two are bad friends.
- Who are these two idiots?
- Ooh.
- A white dude and an Asian dude.
- Ooh.
- You two are disgusting.
- Ooh.
- You two are something.
- We're bad friends.
- M-m-m-m-m-m-m-movie star.
I'm in the presence of a movie star.
And I'm so stunned by you because you're a movie star.
- I'm the president of a president.
I'm in the presence of a president.
- Yes, you are.
Little Chinese boy, sing to me.
- You throw out things that don't make no sense,
so I throw out things that don't make no sense to you.
- I'm in the presence of a movie star president.
- Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Bad Friends.
I'm in the presence of a movie star.
- I'm in the presence of a superstar.
- Movie star, movie star, movie star, movie star.
- I'm a little movie star, but this guy's a superstar.
Brett, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Andrew Santino.
They're in the same level.
George Clooney, come to me.
- How funny would it be if George Clooney...
George, who's calling you?
- Johnny Yang.
- Johnny O. Yang?
- No, Johnny Yang.
- Jimmy O. Yang's brother?
- He's my haircut.
Can I answer it?
- Yeah, sure.
- Okay.
- You getting your haircut soon?
Getting your lettuce sliced?
- Oh, you hung up on what are you...
- Go ahead, call Johnny Yang back.
Sounds like a character from Mortal Kombat.
Johnny Yang wins.
Finish him, Johnny Yang.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hey, how's it going?
- I'm very good.
- Hello.
- Oh, my God.
- So, are you aware about tonight?
- What about what?
- Tonight, for haircut?
- No, not tonight.
- Sorry?
- Sometime this week.
- Oh, this week?
Okay.
- What time, what time?
What time you go?
- I'm in driving right now.
I'm going to check for you in 15 minutes.
- I'm going to check for you.
You're going to check for me?
- I'm going to call you.
- You call me, I'll call you, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay, I'll text you.
- Okay, bye.
- How do you have any professional relationships?
It's unbelievable.
- What do you mean?
- Like, that's your haircut guy?
- Yeah.
- That poor guy.
- He thinks I have an accent.
- Well, he does.
- He thinks I do.
That's how I always talk to him.
- Where is he from?
- China.
- Oh, he's off the boat.
- He's off the boat, yeah.
- Was he on the show?
- He thinks I'm from off the boat too.
- Does he?
- Yeah, he goes, "Hi, Rao."
- Okay, is this a house haircut?
You get your haircut at your house?
This guy's out.
- He comes over, yeah.
Yeah, he comes over.
- I'm in the presence of a movie star.
I'm in the presence of a superstar.
Why do you keep singing this?
Because I did two lines in Theo Vaughn's movie.
- I'm in the presence of a movie star.
- Yeah?
- Dude.
- Dude, who'd you work for?
- Cool picture.
- Morgan Freeman this week.
- Cool pictures on the internet.
- Morgan Freeman, right?
He does.
I do one Theo Vaughn, I'm movie star.
- What Morgan Freeman are you talking about?
- The fucking eyes, the magic movie you did
in fucking Hungary.
- What, a year ago?
It was a year ago.
- Right.
- Look at this, there's Bobby walking around on set,
smoking, being a diva.
I heard, I got back some word that you were being a diva on set.
- Well, I am a diva.
- Skinny diva, look at him, a little skinny diva.
- Look at him, I'm fucking confused.
- Are you rocking magenta?
Was that your pick or theirs?
- Theirs pick.
- That looks really good.
- Thanks, man.
- You think I should do the cowboy look?
Because everyone's saying I should do the cowboy look.
- I think you should do the shirts and the hat,
but not the boots.
- Oh, the boots are too much.
- 'Cause you pride yourself in your shoe game.
- Yeah.
- You got good shoe game, I think boots are not your style.
- Yeah.
- But I think the hats are dope.
I think the shirt, I think the belt is fly as shit.
- You know what I look like there?
Sicario.
- Sicario.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, a hit man.
- You do.
- Yeah.
- Oh, don't bring up.
We talked about that before the show.
That woman got shot yesterday and killed.
- Oh no, oh no, what?
- What, she, her husband put on a hit.
She's going to get like fast food.
Her ex-husband hires a hit man, allegedly.
- Let's stop for a second, push pause.
'Cause I wanna, let me get the information right.
- Yeah.
- A man.
- Yeah.
- They got it right?
- You got that part, yeah, you got that.
- That's all I know, that's all I know.
- A man.
- No, so a man hired a hit man to kill his wife.
- Apparently a group, right?
Carlos didn't say there was like a crew of people
that were out to kill this woman.
- No, and let me ask you something before we get into this.
- And they framed it as a robbery.
- How much money would you spend?
- To what?
- To kill your wife.
- How much money would I spend?
- Yeah, I wonder how much.
- Well, I don't want.
- 'Cause I would want, I would want top level.
- By the way, I saw a meme today that said,
all guys that wear those hats
that have the words upside down are douchebags.
And it made me laugh so hard.
I immediately thought of you.
I was like, you have so many of those hats
that are upside down.
You have Dallas, you have Texas, you have-
- Dallas was a Bad Friends fan, thank you.
- Okay, but you have Texas, you have another one too.
What's the other one you wear too that's upside down?
Yeah, Los Angeles upside down.
Who makes these upside down hats that all the kids have?
- True brand.
- Yeah.
I don't get it.
- I'll never get it.
- It was a manufacturer error and they just went out like that.
You know that, right?
- That's not true.
- That's how it got created.
- Really?
- Yeah, a hat got printed upside down and they sold them.
- You're tricking me right now.
- Dude, I'm tricking you all the time.
I tricked you into doing this show.
You've been here for five years now.
- This is a long time.
- Sucker.
- Thank you.
- Also make it more challenging, like mix up the letters
because I can read it.
- That's cool.
See, that would be cool.
- It's Texas.
It doesn't fool me because it's upside down.
- Excite.
- Mix up the fucking letters, dude.
- How was shooting the Theo Vaughn movie with David Spade
and Theo Vaughn and a bunch of other stars?
I mean, this is a star-studded cast.
- Dude, what are you doing?
- What are you talking about?
- What are you doing right now?
- Tim Dillon.
- What are you doing right now?
- I'm not the IMDb.
- No, no, no, no, stop, stop.
Don't even do that.
- It looks good.
- What are you doing?
- I'm just trying to celebrate my friend.
- Okay, I'm going to tell you something.
You want me to expose you to the fucking truth?
- Okay.
Go ahead.
- You want to be exposed to the truth, my friend.
- Yeah, go ahead, what is it?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm not even in the thing.
- Yet.
Kirk Fox, David Spade, let's get the full, zoom in.
- Let's go.
- David Spade, Kirk Fox, Theo Vaughn, Gavin Warren,
Nate Diaz, Javier Suarez, love him.
- Yeah.
- Thomas Spader, Michael Eshawn York.
- Dude, Thomas Spader's so good.
He always plays the diner patron in every movie.
- Every.
- And he's so good.
He never has a line, right?
But when he's eating in the background, dude,
you're like, oh, that guy's really eating.
- I'm surprised that's not your character.
Go up.
- Yeah, Javier played Senor, Senor.
That's gotta be a Bobby Lee character.
- Senor, Senor.
- Senor, Senor.
- Senor, Senor.
- Yeah, I don't know.
I don't even know what my character, oh, I don't know.
Anyway, so you want to be exposed to the truth?
- Oh yeah, expose me to the truth.
Can't wait.
- Oh, see, when you're in this kind of mood, dude,
see this.
- I'm in the presence of a movie star.
- See this mood?
See this mood?
- Wow.
- Well, look at that.
- Timmy Dillon, David Spade, Theo Vaughn.
This movie's gonna be huge, dude.
Why are you laughing?
- Dude, 'cause you're being sarcastic.
- No, I'm not.
- 100%.
- How?
- They don't offer you shit because they know
you're gonna say no.
- Buddy, buddy, buddy.
- They know you're gonna say no.
- Buddy.
- Because you know what you need?
- Buddy.
- Mucho dinero, por favor.
- Buddy.
- That's what you want.
- Buddy.
- Dinero, por favor.
That's you, guy.
- Buddy.
- I go $2, I'll get it.
- Buddy.
- I'll do it for $2.
- This guy, oh, you gotta go to UTA,
then to my lawyer, then to this guy.
And that's why they're laughing, guy.
- Buddy.
- Because you know you're fucking wrong, dude.
- Buddy, they did offer me a role, okay?
- That's what I'm saying.
And now you're spitting it back at me like,
why did you take the role?
- I'm in the presence of a movie star.
- Let me tell you something.
- Yeah.
- No, he called me.
Theo called me to see if I could do something,
but I was in Philly.
He literally called me on a Friday, goes,
"Dude, can you shoot tomorrow?"
I was like, tomorrow?
No, I'm out of town, what the fuck?
- That's how I got it, three days before.
- No, I know, dude, I'm not gonna do shit, relax.
Jesus Christ.
By the way, let's reframe the joke you just made
that you made the boys in the booth laugh at.
I wait for money, what?
We don't get paid to do anything on television or film.
The last time I got a check to do a thing on TV was Dave.
- I'm in the presence of a movie star.
- I'm in the presence of a movie star.
- You really are.
- No, fuck you.
- I'm sorry, dude, you're a superstar, not a movie star.
Superstar.
How was your week in Phoenix?
I heard it was good.
Did you see your mommy?
- I didn't see her.
- You didn't see your mom in Phoenix?
You were in Phoenix for four years?
- I was hanging out with people, man.
No, I didn't see her.
When I go to Phoenix to do shows,
she doesn't know I'm in town.
- Why would you do that?
- 'Cause I have to get in the car
and drive all the way to the desert and come back.
I don't wanna do it.
- Phoenix is the desert.
- I know, I'm saying there's more desert though.
- It's just in more desert.
I know where your mom lives.
It's 30 minutes away from where you work.
- I know, but deserts with less buildings.
- What does that have to do?
- When I'm in a desert, I need more buildings.
- It's your mom.
- I understand, dude.
She doesn't know I'm in town.
If she knew I was in town, I'd go visit her.
- Can I give you an old Chinese proverb?
- Give me two.
- He who visits sand and does not visit mother
- Yeah.
- Will soon know she will turn into sand.
- Wow, fuck.
- Oh, thank you so much, guys.
She's gonna die?
- No!
- Probably not.
- Yeah, everyone's gonna die, dude.
- But she's gonna die sooner.
- Soon.
- Oh, okay, so fine.
- Soon.
- Okay, okay, you're right.
- Soon die.
- Okay.
- And soon die is the other Chinese proverb.
- Really, soon die is?
- Soon die, live now.
- Soon die, live now.
- Soon die, live now.
- Yeah.
- Don't do cry later.
- Cry later.
- Big check.
- That's right.
- That's a really good one.
- That's a really good one.
- So you get a check, you watch, you do shows,
and you don't see your mom, but that's okay.
- Yeah.
I have a proverb.
- What is it?
- Two white couple in suburb in Chicago, right?
Sometimes they die in fire.
- Oh.
That's funny.
It's too cold because I sat on fire.
- I know.
- It's the middle of winter.
- That's an old proverb.
- I have a higher likelihood of dying in this.
- I know, I know what we-
- In Phoenix.
- Listen.
- No, no, I just mean time.
- I think we're doing this.
And let's not do this right now.
- All right.
- All right.
- It feels like we're doing this, right?
And I don't want anything bad to happen to your-
- One.
- Two, three.
- I'm in the presence of a movie star.
Okay.
Let's get back into love.
And 'cause you and I have some fiction.
- How about let's do some love?
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- I miss you, I'm happy to-
- I'm happy to-
- And I'm sorry, I abandoned you.
- For what?
- I left you on the last episode.
You had to do it-
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was, but still fine.
Fun.
- But to say to the fans, I do mean this.
A lot of times the fans are like,
"Oh, what the fuck are they doing together?"
It's like, dude, we're all working on stuff.
It's hard.
We're gonna go on tour, work on our hours.
It's hard to always be in the studio every week.
We've done the show for five years.
We've literally never missed a week.
- 