Name: Life As an Uggo w/ Andrew Schulz | Ep 260 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-03-10T16:00:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Life As an Uggo w/ Andrew Schulz | Ep 260 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Life As an Uggo w/ Andrew Schulz | Ep 260 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-10. Transcript available.

Life As an Uggo w/ Andrew Schulz | Ep 260 | Bad Friends

Hello.
Hello there, mate.
Mate.
I'm Vincent Taisy.
We're coming to London, England, mate.
And then Dublin, Ireland right after.
I'm Tom Hardy.
He's Tom Hardy.
And I'm Andrew Santino.
And we're going to London, England, July 18th.
And then July 19th, we'll be in Dublin, Ireland.
Tickets are available right now.
We never go to these places.
Never go to these places.
Once the show's done, we no come back.
We no come back.
Yeah, yeah.
So you got to go.
You got to go.
So go to badfriendspod.com for those tickets.
Badfriendspod.com.
Hey, everyone from Texas, Houston specifically, I need you to buy tickets for
my show on, what
is it, March 28th and 29th of this year.
Go to Houston, improv.com, buy the tickets, or I'm going to hurt myself.
I'm going to hurt myself.
I might die.
You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
You two are something.
We're bad friends.
What happened to Gene Hackman?
What happened to Gene?
What happened to him?
What happened to Gene?
His wife died too.
What happened to Gene?
And one dog.
Bark, bark.
Yeah.
Let me say something.
The dog was in the kennel, which I think is a little strange.
Don't you let your dogs free roam?
I free roam my dog.
I free roam, dog.
But, um...
I'd be free roaming.
My question is...
How old was he, by the way?
95.
Time to go.
I know.
You did your time.
But his Asian wife, 65.
Right?
And dog died.
And two dogs survived.
Who were the survivors?
Let me see the survivor dogs.
Yeah, survivor dogs, man.
Yeah, yeah.
There they are.
There's some of the dogs.
Those are German shepherds.
German shepherds.
They can live through anything.
They lived through the Holocaust.
They were very good in the Holocaust.
They were good, dude.
And their work is not credited.
Right?
It was not credited.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Honestly, though?
Yeah, yeah.
The other one that was bad was Michelle Trachtenberg died the same day, right?
In New York.
Oh, that's not here?
Yeah, it was in New York.
It was the same day because Gene had been dead a day when they found him.
They found him a day later?
Oh, yeah.
It's a Hollywood tribal...
Okay, we've talked about it on this show.
People die in threes.
Who's next?
Who's the third?
Let's guess.
I'm going to throw it.
Hold on.
On the count of three.
Yeah.
Hold on.
Let me think of the name.
Hold on.
Okay, I was going to say.
On the count of three, we have to think of a name together.
Okay.
I think we shouldn't predict.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
No, because you know what happens on the show when we predict?
Yeah, it doesn't.
It happens.
But so here's the thing.
They said it's not carbon monoxide poisoning.
Gotta be.
They said it's not.
Otherwise it's...
And they said it's not follow play.
So I have a prediction.
Fair play.
So maybe someone deserved to get one.
It was fair play.
And I think this, okay?
One of the dogs was scared of the Asian wife.
Oh, at some point she's like...
He's thinking, I'm going to go soon.
I'm next.
It's me or her.
No, he's German.
They're German shepherds.
I don't know.
She's looking at me.
One day she's going to eat me.
And by the way, Gene's getting so old, he couldn't control her from doing that.
Right.
So one day, the dog...
I can't do a German accent.
Yeah, I will do it for you.
Yeah, do it for me.
Saw a gigantic chocolate bar exposed.
Oh, I love chocolate.
I know.
But you know what it does to you.
What does it do to me?
It kills you.
So he saw the chocolate bar, right?
This is my time.
And his other...
What does his other two dogs say?
Well, they ran away.
They got away.
They were in the house.
Well, who...
Look at the movie Crimson Tide.
Here's my...
Love this movie.
You think Denzel did it?
That was my other theory.
I was honestly not going to say Denzel.
Zoom in.
I was going to say George Zunga.
That guy right there.
Fourth.
Right before Vigo.
No, wait a minute.
Yeah.
Vigo makes the most sense.
Vigo Mortensen is German.
Oh, my God.
Those were his dogs.
Oh, Aragorn did it.
Aragorn did it.
Tell some of my dogs I sent to...
That's a long play.
That's a long play.
I don't know if he would go to all the way to New Mexico.
Yes, he would.
He loves New Mexico.
How do you know that Vigo Mortensen likes New Mexico?
We vacationed there.
Okay.
You know what?
And rest in peace, one of the greatest actors of all time.
Gene Hackman.
God bless.
Do you realize...
Rest in so many pieces.
That made so many good movies.
French Connection.
Yeah.
Well, I told you, Crimson Tide is one of my favorite movies.
Here's another one that you forgot.
So good.
Young Frankenstein.
Oh, my God.
He plays the blind guy.
That's right.
So funny.
Wow, dude.
He did everything.
Oh, actually, you know what?
Look at all the movies.
We've done...
I mean, it's insane.
Here's my favorite voice he ever did, though.
Yeah, go on.
Ants.
So good in ants.
Do it now.
He was the general.
Do it now.
We must fight to survive.
We must fight to survive.
You know that speech he does?
It's so...
Is that him?
Yeah.
Okay.
He was so good in ants, dude.
Okay.
King Ant.
He was.
Probably made of millions.
I don't know about that.
Did animation pay that well back then?
I don't think so.
You're right.
Yeah, now that they got, like, superhero...
They get points, though, I think.
Right.
Right.
Well, I mean...
Yeah, I guess I got a residual check the other day for the sale of Ricky Stenicki
to DVD.
What was it?
Cha-ching.
Big time, dude.
Cha-ching.
$42.36.
Cha-ching.
Really?
That's what it was.
$42.36 or $0.37.
I'd have to look it up.
Yeah, people think that when you do these things...
Residuals, they're like, it must be raining down.
I did movies for virtually free.
You lost money on something.
It's not a lucrative thing.
Unless you're Ryan Reynolds.
And be careful, Ryan Reynolds.
Why?
They're coming for him.
The business is all, like, mad at him and his wife.
I didn't get involved in this shit on the internet because I didn't care to,
like, research.
But it's funny how many stories are being told about these guys.
There's another story that I just saw on TikTok.
It's the movie that he did, that sci-fi movie with Jake Gyllenhaal.
What was that movie called?
Why can't I see it in my mind?
Horizon or is it...
No, not her.
Collateral Horizon.
Collateral Horizon.
Life.
We were right there.
We were right there.
So close.
I would have got life.
So see the girl that's...
Go back.
Rebecca Ferguson.
Rebecca Ferguson.
Oh, yeah.
Said something crazy about him.
Yeah.
I don't know if it's true.
I wasn't there.
It looks true.
But he was really mean to her.
Like a bully on set.
Yeah, yeah.
Really?
And then one day she came on...
What?
His fossil is so insecure that he's just yelling at me all the time.
Yeah.
And so one day she comes on set and she goes, I'm not doing things with you
anymore.
I'm going to do it with the tennis ball.
No.
With the...
She stand with the tennis ball?
Yeah.
And then the producer went up to her and she goes, he's number one on the
Chicago seat.
He has to be there.
I don't know why.
He probably doesn't want to be there.
Yeah.
But again, we don't know if it's true, but it's enlightening.
Well, it's a bummer because then all those stories that TJ Miller told about
working with
him on Deadpool seem to be much more valid.
Oh, right.
People didn't not believe him, but they were like, well, you never know.
Their relationship could have been toxic.
But it seems like...
How hard is it to be nice?
Here's the deal.
I don't know the deal.
Tell me the deal.
I think Denzel Washington said about him.
Who?
Who?
Denzel said about Ryan Reynolds?
Yeah.
They were in a movie together, Save House.
Oh, yeah.
And in an interview, they asked Denzel, they said basically, well, when Ryan
Reynolds was
there, he was just observing you and he forgot to act because he admired you so
much.
And then Denzel said like, oh, is that what he was?
I thought he was just terrible.
That's what Denzel said?
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
The show is like, wow.
That's amazing.
Yep.
And when Denzel's a truth teller.
He really is.
When he says like, I don't know if it's AI, but with his voice.
Well, it could be.
He can say anything and it'll be like a spiritual experience.
Zoom into that photo you just passed up.
Look at that.
That's two lover boys.
Look at that.
Zoom into that photo.
Denzel doesn't look stoked.
There he doesn't.
Yeah.
Denzel does not look stoked.
He doesn't look stoked.
Yeah.
That is kind of crazy to think about.
Well, here's the deal.
Here, I'll answer your question.
Yeah.
How is it hard to be nice on set?
Yes.
No, no, no.
Here's why though.
He's hot.
He's been hot his whole life.
You and me, Ugo Ruggos, you know, knock, knock, knock.
Here we go.
Knock, knock, knock.
Bobby, Andrew, you guys ready?
Are you guys out of your bucket of slime?
You want to come shoot the scene?
They do.
They do.
They treat the Uggos differently.
The couple last movies, I was in one of those.
Quarter, like a fucking.
It's not a quarter, 10% trailer.
It was like barely a human being could go in there.
It's a bathroom.
Literally the toilet and that's it.
You're sitting on the toilet to watch like, you know what I mean, YouTube
videos.
You know what I mean?
And then you have to wait there for so long.
All day.
All day.
And then you're like, hey, can lunch, can I leave?
No.
And they go, no, absolutely not.
We need you.
What if we need you?
So then lunch happens four hours later.
They don't need you.
They don't need you.
It's bullshit.
Yeah.
This is what happens.
When you're regular and Ugo, if you're us who are regular looking guys.
But anyway, you're right.
So I think if you're an Ugo like us, you're going to not get treated the way
that Ryan
Reynolds is so hot.
I know.
But can I say something for a redhead?
And I get a lot.
One time I was at one of your shows.
What do you mean?
At my where our show that we do together?
No, we weren't doing it together.
It was a show that I was supporting you.
Oh, yeah.
And a lady in the audience, I was sitting kind of in the side and she turns to
me and
goes, your your your boy is handsome.
Only because I'm on stage.
No, I've heard a lot of that.
On the Internet, I've heard a lot about my direct messages and I just want you
to own
up to your handsomeness.
No, no, no.
First of all, you have a mutant color of the hair.
Yeah, because I'm a mutant.
I'm a freak.
But the faces.
Andrew Santino is so hot.
What the fuck?
Yeah, but that's a guy.
These are all guys.
They're not guys.
Trust me.
Look at 2020, 2022.
See if there's a Bobby Lee one.
Can I tell you the amount of times that I've gotten dick pics sent to my DM
from
guys?
It's unreal.
I get dick pics all day.
Didn't you live in?
So when they you put.
I did.
That's why.
When you.
What?
Bobby.
What is that?
When you type in Bobby Lee Hot.
It's about spicy wings.
Spicy wings.
Right.
That ate hot stuff.
But you do.
No, I know I have.
But that's bullshit.
Wait.
Scroll down.
Yeah.
That's so funny.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Let's see.
Bobby Lee Hot.
Eating spicy wings.
It's where I had diarrhea when I was on hot wings.
But you did hot ones.
I've never done that.
They've never asked.
They don't want me over there.
Look at that.
Oh my.
Anyway, get out of that.
So you don't.
I don't have a reddit flat.
Bobby Lee's the only person to shit himself on hot wings.
Okay.
Okay.
That's an award in of itself.
I know, but that's still humiliating.
Name someone else that's done that.
I don't know.
By the way, New York Magazine.
Bobby Lee puts one of the most outrageous and outrageously funny hot ones
performances to date.
Bam.
I do it for comedy.
You always do it for comedy.
Yeah.
Anyway, let's get out of that.
But you're hot.
Let's move on.
No, no way.
You can't say you're an ugly one.
But you know, I wonder what it is with that generation of they were hot their
whole life.
They got treated hot their whole life.
Some guys did.
Brad Pitt is the coolest fucking dude.
And everyone says they work with him.
He's the most rad dude on earth.
And he's been hot his whole fucking life.
Ok