Name: We Bring Down the King | Ep 261 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-03-17T16:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Bring Down the King | Ep 261 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Bring Down the King | Ep 261 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-17. Transcript available.

We Bring Down the King | Ep 261 | Bad Friends

hey everyone from texas houston specifically i need you to buy tickets for my
show on what's
it march 28th and 29th of this year go to houston improv.com buy the tickets or
i'm gonna hurt
myself i'm gonna hurt myself i might die
apparently you guys were talking a lot of when i wasn't here that's what i
heard you don't know
yourself i heard you guys talking a lot of well i wasn't here not even here to
defend myself you
guys are talking it's interesting because when people talk behind your back to
me i always defend
you yeah i say he's not here to defend himself don't say that stuff about him
it's so funny because um
when i look in the mirror i i look at my character defects as well so i know
what my problems are
you know you don't know what your problems are i know what your problems are
for sure
i know what yours are but whenever people talk about you and i hear it and i
catch wind of it
i grab it yeah i know where you saw it in your heart and i said you talk about
my dog dude
and they go oh so sorry man and i defend i never talked about your dog
i mean your wife i don't no i'm kidding that's crazy is that your bit that was
crazy that was crazy
is that your bit i'm sorry i got defensive yeah and i apologize that's okay she's
beautiful
and i love her as a human well it's whatever you want to do today man i heard
that you had so much
fun without me you don't want me on the show anymore are you on your mind that's
what i heard i turned down
a pod with some so-and-so he got mad by the way why he came up to me the first
thing i was like hey
buddy you don't want to pop with me and i go oh no what andrew's not there it's
weird you know what
i mean didn't you do one with the stefano i know but it's like i i've never
like we don't have that
kind of and he was mad yeah but i love him doesn't seem like it seemed like you
would have done the
pod with him if you loved him so much you know most people they'll go to the
salvation army right to get
their t-shirts not this guy kith
you don't know what kith is man i've been in the kith yeah i've been with kith
with you in new york
oh right i did i brought you along that's right yeah well i'm gonna say you're
coming at me today
no i'm not coming at you dude you're coming at yourself my kith shirt yeah you're
coming at
yourself dude and that's the sad how am i coming at myself you're like well you
guys were talking about
me no no i heard the grapevine you guys were talking no yeah we can bring up
the clips we
have them yeah dude bring them up oh the chair why do you have that that's andrew's
seat oh really
oh yeah it sucks oh oh just push pause no no i already know what to say after
that i hope so
you just did the episode yeah you did a bit about i do did a bit about your
little back let me see
oh yeah yeah yeah yeah what andrew likes yeah anyway you click click click
opens up his butt okay
i know he's back he has back aches oh my god he has a spinal dead just a gay
little boy he's a gay
disc he has a little gay disc in his back he's a gay they're dismantled what a
cry baby huh
interesting interesting yeah go on yeah i let remember yeah right baby how do
you hit his head on the
toilet he got all woozy like oh i'm redheaded i get oh wow wow wow wow wow this
is so good
wait what's mine interesting interesting it's interesting but also clever
interesting interesting
interesting interesting interesting that was funny i mean it didn't make me
laugh at all but it was
very funny all right let's all right let's get it out let's get it out in the
open i just said it
yeah yeah so what i want to say is you've never talked about about me never
do you have is it first of all no and if i did is it on tape no but i've heard
people say that
you talk about me yeah what do i say i don't remember really recall i feel like
you'd remember
i think you're right i think yeah yeah oh my bad i got caught in a lie oh that's
okay
um i don't always with me that day but um you're grooving i went no i wasn't
grooving i was out of
bounds out of pocket and um you know because you're such a big star yeah right
i love when carlos
laughs at me because you know he gets my comedy somebody gets your comedy oh my
god all right
here we go okay here we go yeah let's not do this right now dude you know i i
want to say
to you this because i heard you oh i want to say absolutely destroyed in phoenix
shut up dude just
all right now let me say the roof off i have to say for saturday night second
show was one of my best
performances wow but i also want to say this okay that um you have no idea how
i feel about you
okay dude let's move on no no i'm not no oh what is positive you want to move
on i'm over let's get
no i'm not over it all right i love you like your family and with my family you
kind of do little dig
digs right on the side yeah yeah like you don't visit when you go to their town
yeah that was a big point
of contention two things one yeah i did say to carlos i made him do simon says
before the show
because i think he was stoned and i asked him and he's trying to tell me he's
not but i looked into
his eyes you look into his eyes i wear contact no he's carlos it'd be it would
be better if you were
honest i didn't smoke weed today i smoked last night last night weed yeah yeah
so now we know now
you're fully gone relapsed that's called california sober no that's not a real
thing you can call it
but people say that all over the internet but it's not real that's like a fake
i do meth but i have
i'm called colorado sober it's colorado so it's the same thing it doesn't make
any sense no this is
like one in the lexicon it was in white lotus i think yeah yeah but it doesn't
mean you should
do it i thought you were clean clean clean i thought we were all out when i saw
him in the
alleyway oh no in australia yeah he had a glaze over his eyes i don't know what
he was on what were
you on in australia in the alley marijuana that's it and you lied to me yes you
lied to me no you know
what i did you lied to me no i got you on a technicality i went into the hotel
and i said bobby
i'm not drinking why what do you mean because i need something on this earth
bobby doesn't need
anything he should have something though no he has lots of things i do agree i
should have something
you have sugar-free red bull and cigarettes yeah but sometimes i want more to
drown my sorrows what
do you want i mean sometimes i would love to smoke weed you know i mean to zone
out but you don't need
to i don't need to and i i've been three years i haven't so that's great yeah
why why would we crack
it now because i'm my fear though is is that once that door is open i do all
the other stuff and i
can't have that yeah so i just decide to do all i mean yeah because what he's
saying also can happen
to you you may decide so what dude i'm i'm gonna be san bernardino sober and
just have one pill yeah
you do pills too you do do pills oh that's so such project project you don't i
brought only xanax and
lexapro which those are pills those are called pills dude but you get them at walgreens
i know but
they can prescribe any i do math but i only smoke it right that's what it
sounded like that's what it's
not cartel stuff so it's good all right well whatever i i'm just looking out
for your well-being yeah
i'd rather you be clean as a whistle clear-headed i know but i'm just i'm gonna
sober carlos my history
with carlos is this when i first met him he was full full-blown in alcoholics
anonymous it was great
and anyone that's in a right people aren't because they had like you know i
mean an accident it takes
a lot of pain and suffering to drive you into a 12-step group yeah and to be
committed to it right so
that's you know your history with it right you know that you're an alcoholic
and drug addict
do you yeah okay you have other addictions too like sex labs too that's that's
not a pointing it's
not a it's not a pointing i'm not arguing with you that's not like a tit for
tat but bobby's being
like oh i'm mr sober and i know everything and but he's also that's not true he's
not being i know
everything mr sober he's just saying to to get back on the right track and stay
clean have i done any drugs
alcohol since i got sober three years ago no but you've literally done them
with me okay but this
okay i you see what he's doing that's the drug addiction jedi shit yeah you are
jedi yeah yeah
yeah you're angling you're angling dude yeah you're trapping and angling you're
leading into a corner
you're trapped you're a rat trapped you're a rat trap yeah you're a rat trap
dude like rats should get
in trouble for like having a little bit of cheese a rat as fat as you doesn't
need any more cheese
exactly the prosciutto anyway let's move on let's move on yeah yeah but um had
a great time in the
city of minnesota so andrew did his um special he did four shows i did to cut
it together it's gonna
be a wonderful um piece of artwork well i hope so it was a really it was a
little bit of a challenge
at the beginning finding everything the way that i wanted to find it and also
boy oh boy was i upset
at my team shane gillis was in town kevin hart was in town i was like what the
oh it's so i saw a photo
with you and shane gilly played the target center where the minnesota timberwolves
play and kevin
played a big theater uh like he did like four or five theaters or something um
all in minneapolis that
weekend but did your were your shows full no yeah they sold out but what is
what's the problem no no
i'm just saying thank god shane sells out same day because imagine if shane was
playing big theaters
and he wasn't an act that could sell out an arena same day then we would we
definitely share some
audience do you know what i mean like right right kevin and i definitely no
crossover uh we joked we were
like kevin was shane goes i guess you and i had to split all the whites in town
i was like yeah kevin
there's no competition yeah yeah but i mean thank god shane's so famous he sold
out the target center
the same day wow that's how famous he is like we i'm lucky we got around to it
but i think it's a
bummer because ticket prices are so stupid now and we can't control them
anymore it sucks the promoters
ticketmaster the venues it's disgusting what they do now and people can't go to
both people couldn't see
me on friday and see shane on saturday there's no way they could afford that i
think it sucks so i
wish i wish they communicated to go hey this guy's in town shooting can we
reserve this you know this
weekend if we could skip it or come back to playing about something that didn't
happen though no no i
do think it affected the way that i moved at the end move tickets at the end oh
i see do you know what
i mean like it definitely changed because people the first time i played the um
philadelphia helium
yeah i love that club i showed up at the club i'm not kidding it's not an
exaggeration i showed up
at the first show on a friday night there were seven people oh my god right and
i kind of looked
around i go oh i guess it's i'm not big here right they're like oh no it's just
literally right
across the street chapelle's there and i go what am i gonna oh i got booked
right and then the second
show was full and and half the audience was like oh we saw the chapelle show
earlier and we came to
both that's pretty rad still the first show i was going to kill myself oh yeah
yeah yeah when you
can't i mean i understand what you're saying well when you're fighting when you're
fighting upstream
because people can't see both and he takes a lot i mean he's so famous shane's
the best he's the biggest
so it's you know yeah you can't fight that but anyway it was a good weekend in
minneapolis i love
i love minneapolis although i was scared to come home once again because of the
flights bro i had
turbulence last night but it's getting out of control it is today how many
today another cash no no dude a
southwest plane almost hit a private jet today today today oh my god it look at
this 