Name: benny blanco-gomez | Ep 264 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-04-07T16:00:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'benny blanco-gomez | Ep 264 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'benny blanco-gomez | Ep 264 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-07. Transcript available.

benny blanco-gomez | Ep 264 | Bad Friends

hello hello hello mate my beans on toast we're coming to london england and dublin
ireland
right london england dublin ireland july 18th and july 19th for ireland that's
right 18th in london
19th in ireland you guys come out and see us go to badfriendspod.com kicks are
going fast they
are going very fast dublin's about to sell out sell out so july 18th the 19th
go to badfriendspod.com
do you two are disgusting you two are something we're bad friends what is this
shirt that you got
in australia look at bobby got a shirt in australia it's a stress dude you
cannot fit in this why can't
he fit in it dude this is he's saying that i'm fat i think you fit in that
easily thank you benny
what do you talk do you actually think he can't fit in it no dude all right all
right put it on a part
of him again this is no i think it looks exactly in here dude problem no look
at this i'm gonna wear
now you clearly can't fit take that one off first no i'm gonna do it off no why
do you have to do it
off do it on do you have movies on on on on on oh you look great oh zempic are
you on ozempic he is
actually yeah why are you on ozempic he's on the other one so you could fit in
the shirt you bought
that shirt was nine thousand dollars so it's gotta fit okay let's see it fits
it fits perfectly it's
good it's perfect wow directly i like it wow wait are you actually on ozempic
yeah i am really not
ozempic he's on the other one manjaro okay but no wugovi no but i was on what's
wugovi yeah yeah
no there is no you just made up hey dude we're not as successful as you we can't
afford premium
brand brand what are you talking about that shirt was nine thousand dollars i
know it was nine dollars
yeah so benny the reason why because a girl told me i was fat and i was and i
was she was not
attracted to me when we're making out and i had to lose the why do you keep
going like this with
your hair because i'm emo dude okay and you're a musician so i'm just trying to
be cool cool dude
okay what's up mom it's really it's very difficult to get comfortable in this
that's the point of the
chairs i i love those pants thanks yeah are those uh are those uh cowhide no
they're they're uh
there i was shopping with my fiancee at what now he's changing again
no we were just saying why does everyone have to use these mics why can't they
find a better system
this is one of the best mics in the game you've been complaining since you've
been here buddy yeah
what are you complaining i wanted you to put on your shirt and i thought you
look beautiful thank you so
much wait a minute you don't like these mics as someone who's no i do like
these mics but i did
i don't understand why there's not a version at this point where it's like we're
like hands-free
well we already are hands for you we're like but we're like there's nothing in
our face we're not
wearing a headphone like we're just talking in a room you don't have to wear
headphones but this is how
we hear each other more crisp and you can hear the levels and if we play video
i know what benny's
saying what you're saying like a lav mic or something or like maybe a mic here
yeah maybe just
something simple right ready what's it like having um a super famous fiancee
very good can you go to
can you wait wait wait can you go to um a mall like you go to the beverly
center with her no you
never try no like let's try well you don't go to the well i know i know well
okay okay here's here's
here's what it is she's like a homebody like her favorite thing to do let's not
talk about a woman's
body on the show that's so good your wife's body is insane i know i'm shaming
yeah no the her body's
like a house it's a big burly house she uh no she just likes to chill at home
so do you though yeah yeah
i'm like a big like i don't want to go to like like we're not going to like we
want to like chill it
that's us every night every night i go there all i want to like i want to i
want to i want
to relax at home with like my friends and like wine and like you know what i i
feel like i think
i think i'm just getting no i think i'm just getting old like i think i'm
getting older what are you 35
36 yeah wait are you are any of you guys sober no you're not i'm in the program
okay okay okay are you
in the program i'm not i'm not but why would some of my fam some of my no some
of my family i just
want to say so like i do i have powers too okay okay i don't have selena gomez
power but i buy my
own power dude okay okay he is hector gomez the guy that works right outside
yeah dude the guy we
buy fruit from he works at pep boys okay no no i'll change your tires
hey go ahead i don't even know what i was talking about yeah you do oh yeah you
do okay when i was like
until like 31 i would i could drink the entire night sleep zero wake go to bed
at 5am wake up at six
like work a full day now i have like two drinks and i feel like hung over for
three days yeah i i and
and i just can't i can't take it why don't you get in the program he's in the
program getting the
program also benny check this out i'm 53 yeah see this 53 yeah thank you you
look so young thank you
benny see this right here that's a gun do you see it yeah right yeah what no it's
not a gun this is
a gun okay what's what's this this hurts going in your ass i'm just saying i
was trying to make a
point that everything hurts oh yeah i should have done that why didn't you just
show you're right
you're right you're right i should have just done this yeah every yeah why did
i do that i don't know
that's insane like are you ever like that you're like feeble and crippled at
this point like what
what i'm saying is is that you get arthritis oh yeah yeah you know what i mean
and your body just
breaks down so and i and i'm sober and it happens in fact i had my um three-year
a birthday saturday
and nobody came texted me in this room do you know why why because you've had a
lot of sober birthdays
yeah we've got to change the date seven times i know but remember this trophy
we gave you for
kicking at the habit in 2022 yeah yeah so you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah
yeah i relapsed too much
yeah it happens it happens well benny benny is it does it's why i come from my
family he's a child
of fetal alcohol syndrome no i'm i can tell already don't i look don't i look
insane can i clear the air
yeah yeah i and i have known each other yeah so long yeah and that is and you're
my dog and i love
you and when you did my show and i asked about selena the internet got so mad
they thought i was
picking on you i was like we were teasing each other people were like don't be
mean to be i don't read
any comments the fans came at me dude my fans are crap dude they're not your
fans first of all they're
your wife's fans you nerd i mean when you're married to selena oh you're
married and i'm engaged
engaged does that make your upper lip moist because your upper lip right now is
so moist
dude he chapsticks a lot you do why you don't because i have to now
i have the upper lip that's moist dude that's so funny he's right yeah when you
start dating someone
hot and famous you have to have moist lips yeah look at all the hot guys they
always have moist i gotta
have what what am i supposed to do my chips my lips are supposed to look like
an asshole right like
that could be cracked and what are you doing he's moistening it's not it's not
making them moist
now oh now you look insane yeah whoa hold on one second are you hello sydney sweeney
yeah yeah bobby lee's
right here oh my god whoa whoa that's all it took it works right yeah dude are
are are are you in a
relationship that's bullshit i wanted he knows i can't i get no one wants to
fuck me shut up what do you
mean nobody wants to nobody wants to fuck me and you're bringing it up why oh
because you're with
selena i think you're so cute dude okay i'm going to say something right now
and we're not going to
bring it up again i'm so tired of this okay i'm tired of it too what is it
because you're so love i'm
tired of it too right now yes benny yes right now what i'm doing is i've talked
to my therapist
and i'm going to spend the next six months to a year completely alone why
because celibacy
yeah well no dating at all yeah and i'll tell you why it's just not happening
that's not no no i'm
meeting people okay right but it's just like i you know i want to be able to
click like this guy
and write on a unicorn what are you you deserve to be on that unicorn thank you
so i like the way you
did okay i can't do that because i'm stuck in a plastic chair in between a like
here's my unicorn
yeah if i'm a unicorn right where am i on the unit can i be honest that doesn't
look like a unicorn at
all no no he's korean korean unicorns are different no no no i don't think it's
i don't think that's
the unicorn i think that's him on top of ah yeah why are your arms hurt is this
because
arthritis yeah what's wrong with your arms and why have you been out of breath
like like i smoke
cigarettes so you're just out of breath all the time this fucking guy why does
everyone come out
here i'm not thinking i just wanted all my frailties okay wait i'm a unicorn
where am i on the what
happened to your other arm i'm going left okay yeah he's not going left dude he's
never going right
anyway i'm i'm sitting on the i'm sitting on the horn you haven't found the one
i'm sitting on the
i haven't yeah yeah um yeah i was you deserve the one anyway so go ahead what
what what what
what's the question this is your date yeah yeah okay so that's the day what's
the rest of the
fucking date well it's the get to know you portion of the date get to know her
she's right there oh really
yes so um hi my riot profile set to 20. i know but i'm assuming it's 30. okay
okay so um hey
can you keep going yeah i'll keep going so mayo um are you la ray is born
good am i uh uh raised or born i was born in tallahassee
i'm already drowning yeah can you keep going yeah i'll keep going so mayo um
are you la raised born
good am i uh raised or born i was born in tallahassee tallahassee new york yeah
yeah
yeah tallahassee new york and florida yeah oh i love florida so how long you
been in la
um bobby i get asked this on every day oh forget it okay um what are your
dreams my dreams
yeah yeah better oh i like that yeah well i kind of want to be you're not gonna
make it
i'm not yeah i don't think you're gonna make it why can i get you guys
something to drink
oh hi hi oh my god you look so hot cut it out jeez oh my god are you doing your
leo face
hey mayo what yeah what the you're doing whoa no what do you mean whoa that's
weird watch oh i bring
you on a date you this red-headed thunder sticker ma'am ma'am just is this guy
bothering you
he might be a little i'll throw him out you will this is not how you want the
date to go sir yeah
fuck you sir whoa yeah fuck you you know what mail i'm gonna grab you whoa i'm
gonna grab you by the
shoulder get in the car oh my god dude right we're going to where you deserve
to go shake shack oh oh
okay now we're at shake shack that's actually cool is it does okay now when you're
at shake shack
is he coming yeah of course okay you guys want something to drink yeah yeah he
just works he just
works he works yeah and i'm like and i'm like oh my god that guy hey do you
know what i ask about you
know who they are they're what they're i what i'm trying to get to is that if
there's like if they're
damaged if if and you you want to stay i want to see if there's trauma no if
there's like some sort of
deep trauma going on you know what i mean if they have a dream here in la you
know can they make it
if they can't make it i don't want to do it how do you know how do you how do
you know because i'll
go on their instagram 40 years to make it takes everyone so long and you can
benny let me ask you
something you know you're a producer right yeah right you can hear it when you
if you saw a girl's
instagram and saw her singing would you be able to can you tell well i don't
know yeah yes you can
then you 