Name: No Mami, Yes Papi, Fancy B Day | Ep 265 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-04-14T16:00:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'No Mami, Yes Papi, Fancy B Day | Ep 265 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'No Mami, Yes Papi, Fancy B Day | Ep 265 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-14. Transcript available.

No Mami, Yes Papi, Fancy B Day | Ep 265 | Bad Friends

Hello, mate!
Hello there, mate. We're going over the pond there.
Go get beans on toast, and then going to Ireland.
Beautiful, beautiful Ireland.
Beautiful.
So where are we going first?
We're going to go to London, England.
July 18th, guys.
Okay, July 18th.
Ovo Arena, Wembley.
We'll be in London, England on July 18th.
Dublin, Ireland.
Then we're going to Dublin, Ireland.
July 19th.
We're at the Three Arena.
The Three Arena.
Three Arena.
Well, that's a good impression.
Thank you.
Give me a good Irish impression.
Yeah, well...
Oh, that's so good.
That's so good.
Thank you.
Say pint of Guinness.
Pint of Guinness.
That's perfect.
Dublin, Ireland.
We're coming to see you July 19th at the Three Arena.
Tickets available at badfriendspod.com.
London, England.
Tickets available July 18th at badfriendspod.com.
You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
You two are something.
We're bad friends.
Feliz cumpleaños aqui.
Feliz cumpleaños aqui.
Feliz cumpleaños aqui.
Lucky.
Feliz cumpleaños aqui.
Feliz cumpleaños.
Andres.
Is it your birthday?
Happy birthday to you.
I just got that.
I'm like, who can...
Oh, happy.
How old are you now?
I mean, how long do porgs live?
They live a long life.
They do?
Yeah.
Not when they're being eaten by Chewbacca.
I'm trying to...
Do you remember that scene where he grilled a porg?
Yes.
What silly game is this?
Oh, it's the Mexican Venus flytrap.
I got to catch it like this?
Yeah, it's a Mexican game.
Ow.
Yeah.
Mexican games hurt.
Well, I could do it first try, I think.
You think so?
No.
Ow, dude.
You actually hurt your hand.
All right.
Let's start from the top.
I don't like the way it started.
Let's sing the song again.
Put the lyrics up.
Feliz coplanos, IT.
Feliz coplanos, IT.
Feliz coplanos, Corino, Andres.
Feliz coplanos, I-E.
It's not hard.
It's the same words over and over.
How did you mess that up?
Because they said name.
In Spain, it's coplanos, feliz.
Oh.
Coplanos, feliz.
Let me, can I have it solo?
I want an acapella.
I think that's my problem.
Do Spain.
I'll go fast.
No, I want the first chunk again.
No?
No, it's in Spain.
We're doing, he's Spanish.
Oh, okay, so.
Cumplianos, feliz.
Cumplianos, feliz.
Te decimos, Andres.
Cumplianos, feliz.
After five years, I'm going to correct it.
It's Andres.
I have another sound effect.
You know what that is?
Lawn mower.
No, leaf blower.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, happy, how old are you now?
45.
45.
Are you really?
God, imagine being 45 as a director and not directed anything.
I mean, is there a, I mean, what?
I've never seen.
Wow.
There's a few exceptions.
There's a few exceptions.
Be nice to the guy.
It's his birthday today.
Happy birthday, man.
You know what?
Can I say something?
You do the best YouTube videos.
I really, when I see his YouTube, I go, oh my God, this should be a criterion.
Top notch.
Yeah, top notch.
What?
Without YouTube, you're not even famous in the last 10 years, Bobby.
Whoa.
Shots fired.
Shots fired.
Can I say something?
I came in smiling in a good mood.
Something like that.
Where did that come from?
You attacked Andres on his birthday.
You did.
On his birthday.
Okay.
All right.
Fine.
All right.
But can I ask you guys, Andrew, can I ask you a question?
Please.
Name me one movie.
Just let's be factual here.
Yeah.
Name me one movie that Andres has directed.
Go to his IMDb.
There's actually a lot on there.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Let me look.
Andres Rosende, IMDb.
Okay.
IMDb.
Oh, you have one.
I am the best.
I am the...
Wait, wait, zoom in.
Known for.
Wait, I want to read his...
I want to read his line.
Yeah, I want to read it, read it.
Zoom in.
Andres is an LA-based writer-director from España.
He received a BA in Film Studies from Universidad Complutense of Madrid and an
MFA from Columbia University.
His films have played at festivals all around the globe, including Cannes, Stieges,
Cleveland, South by South...
Cleveland?
I want a line.
I want a line.
Go.
No, you finish it.
Then let's...
Cleveland, South by Southwest, Pantasia, The Priors Club, and El Lacma Young
Directors.
Andres.
Andres has received many awards, including DJ for Best Latin, short for Escape.
The More Than 35, Mr. Beer, Bear, and the Fantastic Fest, Mercado, Fantistical
Gold Award for the Best Future and Development for The Turned.
Wow.
What is he directed?
Here we go.
Known for.
Known for.
Let's go Known for.
Bad Friends.
First thing up there.
Go look at producer.
Bad Friends.
Bad Friends.
American Carnage.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
You produced that.
You produced that.
Oh, good.
Jane Anonymous, The Devil Below, Bad Friends, Chain of Death.
Oh, Puppet Cop was great.
Puppet Cop was so underrated.
I know.
You're under arrest.
I know.
I know.
Exactly.
What am I being pulled over, sir?
Well, you're black.
That's it.
All right.
Puppet Cop.
Puppet Cop.
Great.
Underrated.
Green plastic sandals.
You thought that red plastic sandals was good?
Green?
Wait till you see green.
Oh, wait till you see green plastic sandals, right?
It's going to blow your mind.
Mr. Bear, which is actually the original of the show, The Bear on FX.
Right.
This is just the Spanish version.
Mr. Bear.
I thought it was a prequel to Cocaine Bear.
Oh, yeah.
Mr. Bear.
Yeah, yeah.
He had a job before he did coke.
Before Cocaine Bear did coke, he had a job.
He had a family.
It's a scape.
And the Oscar-nominated escape.
Escape.
Don't forget about snapshots.
Oh, how can you forget about snapshots?
That's how he did it.
Thank you, guys.
Yeah, so very good.
Andres, do you want to say anything to defend yourself on your birthday?
Happiest of the birthdays.
Thank you, guys.
Were we able to get you any gifts?
Your presence is a gift.
Give me.
McCone's got some gifts that we'd like to give you for your birthday.
Okay.
You mean the world to us.
Uh-huh.
Your work here is undeniable, irrefutable, and irreplaceable.
You are that good to us.
You mean the world, and I mean it.
Bobby and I wouldn't be where we are without you.
I have some words to say, too.
Your work is stupid.
And your first gift is there.
A piñata.
And look at your second gift, a piñata.
Shape like.
Shape like what?
Let me look at the face.
Can I see the face?
Shape like.
Me.
It's you.
This is the greatest gift I ever got.
All right.
Actually, pretty great.
I'm quite excited about this.
That's so funny.
Thank you.
Yes.
I love you.
You have to close your eyes.
You have to close your eyes, bitch.
All right.
All right.
Stop for a second.
Stop for a second.
Stop for a second.
I broke that music.
All right.
Can I use the stick?
I want to do an impression.
Can I do an impression?
The best part is he hasn't even dented it.
It hasn't even broke a little bit.
Guess what impression I'm doing, okay?
It was a mistake.
Alele Everett.
The baton.
Oh, very good.
Very good.
All right.
Let him finish.
Oh, wait.
I'm going to talk about it.
Let him finish.
Go ahead, Banty.
I'm doing a...
Play the music and let him finish.
I'm doing a GoFundMe for fucking Alele Everett.
Hold your eyes!
Yeah.
Yes!
More!
Oh, there.
There.
Yay!
Very good, Carlos.
That's the kind of production that we have on this show.
The candy couldn't even go inside of it.
But I am doing a GoFundMe on Alele Everett.
You broke the vent.
It was so strong.
I have something serious to say.
Jesus Christ, the vent is broken.
Wow.
Okay, Bob, put the guest up there.
Put Broken Bobby up there, please.
Very good.
There's Broken Bobby.
Don't mean to frame him.
By the way, they got the eyes right.
Fancy, tell me, how did that feel?
Did that feel good?
It felt so good.
That felt like you...
Best birthday in the last 10 years.
Cathartic, right?
Yes.
You got something off your chest.
Yes.
Dude, I've never had Mexican gum before.
You can't even chew through it.
It's like a fucking...
What?
You want to chew my chew?
It's like a Jolly Roger.
I can't chew it.
Well, here, how about this?
Let's settle some beef the other way.
Okay.
I'm going to call somebody.
I want my piñata.
I want my Andrea's piñata.
You'll get yours.
Okay.
Do you have Andrea's piñata, dude?
I'll show you what I do.
Let me see if I can get a hold of somebody here.
Hello?
Fitz.
What's up, buddy?
Hey, Greg Fitzsimmons here on the Bad Friends podcast.
Greg, I'm sitting next to Bobby Lee.
Bobby is...
Bobby wants to talk to you about something.
Do you have anything you want to explain?
You called me today, and I told him you were awful hurt about something.
I didn't get the full story.
What really happened?
No, not hurt at all.
I was touched, honored that Bobby would agree to come on.
You know, I do my St. Patrick's Day show every year.
Famous show every year.
Greg Fitzsimmons does an incredible St. Patty's Day show.
They have Irish Soda Bread.
They have traditional songs.
Live music.
Live music.
It's a party.
It's beyond a comedy show.
It's a party.
It really is.
And I was so happy to promote it.
I went on K-Rock.
I went on KTLA.
I went on Good Day LA.
Ooh, K-Rock.
Bobby was nice enough to lend his name to the show.
And we got a good crowd.
And unfortunately, I don't know what happened.
I'll tell you what happened.
I was missing at the end of the show.
Can I tell you what happened?
Yeah, let's hear it.
First of all, I apologize.
Did you hear that?
Of course.
Okay, so secondly, did you get my money?
Somebody gave me $200.
Exactly.
I gave it to the busboy.
For what?
For the charity, right?
I gave it to the busboy.
Yeah, yeah.
And can I say something?
What does that buy?
A couple of books.
A couple of books.
A couple of like, you know,
where you fill out the grades.
I don't know how school works,
but like a couple of things.
Pencils.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And also-
What are you talking about?
Where do you think the money was going?
What's the benefit for?
It was a benefit for the comedians.
I was paying you a bunch of money.
You were getting money to perform it.
There was no benefit.
It wasn't a benefit for a school?
There was no benefit for a school.
So why did I walk in and see little kids on stage playing the guitar?
Little kids?
Well, who was on stage playing?
It was like Mary, Paul, and Mary.
What is it called?
Mary, Paul, and Mary?
Yeah.
There's two Marys in that band.
Was there not singing there?
Did that throw your comedy off that much?
You couldn't perform because there was a musical act on?
But it's just not that.
I looked at the back row.
There was a bunch of older ladies there,
and there's like musical things going on.
I turned to Tim Dillon, and I go,
you know what?
I'm just going to give $200 for the charity,
and I'm going to bail.
So wait a minute.
You showed up to the venue, didn't even perform.
You bailed because of the crowd and because of the-
No, he's supposed to headline the show,
and he just decided not to.
Wow.
But you came all the way there.
But did I not go?
That's good.
Like going is good.
Going is good.
So what is it?
Have you not worked out that 15 minutes of material?
Oh, here we go.
This is how we're going to do it?
Oh, are we going to do this?
I'm just wondering how many more times you need to do that 15 minutes
before you know it's going to work no matter where you go.
I'm going to let you have this.
Give me another one.
Another what?
A slam.
Another slam.
No, Bobby, look.
You are doing so well with what you've been dealt genetically, mentally,
emotionally.
I know that you were molested by an intellectually disabled person.
I know that you've got a mustache that just won't fucking stand up and grow.
There's a lot of things you're struggling with.
So when you bail out on a show like that, you let down hundreds of people in
the audience.
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Okay.
Now, Fitz, just for clarity, was his name promoted on the show as he was going?
Very much so.
Wow.
Very much so.
Yeah.
Anything?
Anything for the people that are listening that could have gone to that show?
Number one, I'm sorry.
I bought some books for a cherry that doesn't exist.
There is a cherry book.
Okay.
But you did grab the $200, put it in your pocket.
