Name: Bobby Is the Michelin Man | Ep 266 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-04-21T16:00:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Is the Michelin Man | Ep 266 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Is the Michelin Man | Ep 266 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-21. Transcript available.

Bobby Is the Michelin Man | Ep 266 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting
oh you two are something we're bad friends what's yagsi yabor yagsi yabor is my
friend
he's from israel and he's dead oh man i'm just improvising yeah no that's not a
bad thing that
has nothing to do with the conflict no yagsi yabor you are like your funny hat
yagsi yabor where have
you been you're gone for a while you don't answer your phone yeah yagsi yabor i
love the sand in your
eyes yagsi yabor yagsi yabor i like your green card got denied yagsi yabor
where are your arms now
yagsi yabor yeah yagsi yabor the yard bone is gone he's eating yard bones dude
i don't know dude no
i like i was you know i mean i'm in the cosmic creative space you're up here
yeah yeah it's
beyond first word that comes to your mind go mindset yeah are you a chicken
yeah that's good a chicken
yeah yeah yeah let's go science though you molecules yeah yeah yeah yeah math
go davinci's
code yeah yeah yeah yeah all right we got we're on that dude shock me dude
shock you with something
shock me with something what do you mean give me another one yeah bloody
discharge no no no
no i don't want to hear about carlos's exam yeah yeah anyway yagsi i went to
the doctor he said i
have to stay away from people like carlos that's literally what the doctor said
yeah he said a big
fan of the show watch the podcast stay away from carlos because he hasn't had a
tetanus shot yeah in
years yes you're up yeah i haven't been tested in a while too let's get in
there bud i went to a
let's get in there i went to the sherman oaks um spearmint rhino last night at
like one in the
morning i was so lonely i was sitting i was watching you know how i keep
watching great british break off
so good so i was season eight again right and i'm like i know who gets you know
every episode i know
who gets silly i mean the star baker i know who gets you know i mean the handshake
let go i know
who gets the handshake yeah i was sitting there and my penis was out at great
british bake off no
no i was watching it i was just naked yeah yeah and i'm sitting there slumped
over watching it and
going yeah i'm going you gotta go yeah so i went to and went in there and there
was only four people
working yep it's almost as if it was not even open was it at 4 p.m when you
went no it was one
in the morning i said god you don't listen to you guys i've been at 4 p.m
before i can't tell you why
why why what are you doing at 4 p.m at a strip club about 20 years ago there
was a group of comics
male comics that would go on lunch runs oh yeah lunch runs to the trip yeah
yeah yeah and we would
go on lunch run they got good wings good wings yeah i love the prime rib yeah i
mean when they're
naked up there and you're eating prime rib dude oh my god there is nothing
better yeah seeing a nice
pair of boobs and having potatoes yeah with a little bit of filet a little
little filet on the side yeah
but last night i went and i literally was like i just left how much money do
you spend when you
i i think i got like 200 dollars worth of bills and i was just kind of not even
looking at the women
just kind of throwing it on stage looking around my environment and going oh
this is not good not
good yeah so i got back in the car and what do you get in 20s you're just
throwing 20s or singles
why do you why you do you mean you think i'm cheap no big bills no i do but i
do a lot of singles
oh you do singles so i'll do like 40 of singles in one dancer just give them 20s
at some point then
yeah but i want them to know that there's more common
if you throw out a 20 and then that's what they do you're like oh there's you
can't go
past that so if you go 12 right and then you look at them go
they go then they go what in there with their eyes right and i go you want more
right a little
more and they go i do want more right yeah right and then they do it and i go
there's two more right
and then they put their head behind their head like that right behind the head
right and then they
you know what i mean what is that press the elevator guess what this is i call
it the elevator yeah
it's like a clit it's a clit pressing eight on an elevator take it up to eight
yeah yeah i go take
it up to eight and they go eight right and then i pretend i'm going up i always
do i always pretend i'm
going up right bring and then the door opens i go oh wrong floor press it again
oh they press 12
right right i go back up you know what i mean so it's like you know that kind
of thing do you get
there ever to your floor no i never do you never get to your floor what's a
large building it's a
big building all building dude it's three thousand stories up whoa yeah yeah
and i've never got to like
a thousand no you can't you can oh you one one will okay one will i bring
change when i go to the
strip club really you throw pennies up there no quarters oh yeah that's very
generous of orders
yeah yeah well think about it you're throwing a dollar it's only four quarters
that's true i throw
50 quarters up there i look like a king that's true but they have to pick it up
yeah yeah you gotta
get you gotta work sometimes you know hard to pick up on a stage they get the
sweeper out you ever
seen a little sweeper yeah little mexican what's the last time you went i went
to i went we went to
bandon dunes with a bunch of buddies to go on the golf trip and i went to this
look at the watch
how wild this is go to bachelor's in no no right type in bachelor's in coos bay
c-o-o-s
coos bay look at this joint look at the park and look at the photos outside
just get the outside
of it just look at the outside of it wow wow you see that there's a strip club
or they're making like
lamp fixtures they do factory look at that photo you never know look at that
you think somebody's
ever been murdered there exactly doom in the dark night doom in the dark night
this was my dark night
that was your dark night yeah that was one of my darkest nights you know
sometimes there was like
different you remember the joker bane was there by the way oh he was oh he was
there yeah yeah yeah
but it took me back to a private room i'd like to see your coochie
yeah yeah i would i could bring my green hat as the riddler you got it yeah
yeah you gotta bring it
you know when they bring me like you know coffee i make a little question mark
oh yeah to let them know
i do put foam in there i'll make a question mark oh the riddler riddle me this
a better man yeah
but it's a it's a um it's a dead industry what do you think i know dude i think
it's alive and well
i hate going to them it's always with a group of guys and someone goes yeah and
then i go and i
hate it the whole time i stay by the bar i'm not interested i don't like that
thing it's uncomfortable
it's uncomfortable i don't like it i don't like it speaking of which i watched
anora oh yeah so you
called me so i get a call from andrew late at night yeah i was like i called
you around midnight yeah
and usually when that happens it's an emergency yeah right yeah like i can't
make something yeah i got
sick or i got dizzy and i hit my head on the toilet yeah something like that
and he goes hey guy have
you seen anora and i go no i haven't quite gotten to it he goes i'm halfway
through it
don't like it i'm pissed i was yeah he didn't like it's a two an hour 20 minute
movie it's too
that's not that long dude it's not a this isn't like a murder mystery it's not
like a drama it's a
long-winded story about a girl who gets taken advantage of it's i couldn't do
it i heard it's
i heard it's like um pretty woman pretty woman was such a good that's a great
but is it the same
premise of a pretty woman in in a new age sense yeah we love that old story
yeah but there's no gear
this kid is in gear oh this kid is in gear oh my god look at that twink who was
the woman in pretty
woman juliana roberts yeah right rudy juliana roberts no no julia roberts julia
roberts yeah and
richard gear you got what i said but i said it weird and you got what i said i
know moved on that's how we do
it okay julia roberts richard gear come on man these are these are like i call
him richard gary
richard joddy that was a good movie jason alexander was it remember i couldn't
oh yeah classic
i couldn't do this it just was too long it was sad okay she shows she shows she
gets they're having
sex in this movie no less than 20 times but you can't jerk off because it's sad
it's sad sex it's sad
well no the whole movie's sad but is it sad sex no some of it's fun well then
good you can't jerk off
i guess she she gets naked in it a dozen times really i mean at least a dozen
wow i can't watch
it they got the oscar they did they got enough she got an oscar for it but so
um you didn't like
it did you i liked it but i am on the minority here i hate you dude also bad
taste in film jaime
garcia you know the guy that's on my other one yeah hey bro it's a good movie i
i he literally
thought it was a good movie look a lot of people liked it is it simple because
you and i are
sophisticated it's it's we you and i are siskel ebert in the future thank you
baby yeah we do triple
thumbs triple yeah and toes up i don't know what i did what did you like about
it then
i think the world was so vivid that he was able to picture the world is vivid
oh my god see what i
mean put a cream screen in the back you can make anything right vivid it's
vivid yeah i could put
fucking vivid how ships in the background like it was very real like it's a
world that i don't know
some movies are real have you ever seen fucking american beauty dude beautiful
beautiful movie and
real you ever seen american gangster real real anything american any everything
american yeah
american pie american graffiti real american graffiti american anora amer it's
not what it's called but
yeah here's here was my thing with it i understand what you're saying the world
yeah it was real
because they took real people but that's shown in a lot of the acting yeah yeah
it's uncomfortable
it's like i don't why don't i don't want to watch people off the street act
that can't act
there's like you have like actor actors then you have regular people and then
they're like
isn't this great and it's like i don't i don't know just hire someone that's i
don't know there's
a lot of movies a lot of movies that people have seen that tell me to watch it
yeah and i've never
seen it i just don't feel right i don't feel right like i've never seen i swear
to god i bought it
bro backbone mountain what that's such a lie i swear i've never seen bro
backbone i swear to god
ang lee it's so good i know i know it's good i just haven't have you gotten
seen it i haven't
gotten around to it i i i actually have not seen better than that witch uh
you don't even know how to speak english shut up dude
that's not a sentence i gotta take away any language get the out of here dude
out of my country man here's
another one lala land i've never seen oh i didn't see that either but i didn't
see that's what i'm
saying you and i but you know i wasn't going to see that yeah but why can't we
it's good i heard
i don't like i don't like musicals dude kind of you don't even want to get we
talked about this
before you don't want to get me started i don't like music yeah i just can't do
it can i say something
about greece as a minority this is minority talk give it to me it freaks me out
that they're when
white people do gibberish give you an example please i'm a kid in the theaters
saw it in the 70s
or whatever right sitting with all my kids friends right look at them right at
the last song we go
together like i ran out of theater it's it's speaking of tons it's devil
worship what are you
doing dude i don't like it so the way you talk normally yeah yeah that's what
you're doing you
do jibber jabber you do jibber jabber white dude i don't like it yeah yeah i
agree because it does
come from some weird and no one's that happy no one's that happy you're happy
no everyone no one