Name: Don't Bring a White Girl | Ep 277 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-07-07T16:00:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Don't Bring a White Girl | Ep 277 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Don't Bring a White Girl | Ep 277 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-07. Transcript available.

Don't Bring a White Girl | Ep 277 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots
a white dude and an asian dude you two are disgusting
well you two are something we're bad friends
oh what a night right in may about the 31st
i put together a show of words and hymns from asia what a night
i'm gonna get the lyrics oh what oh what night lyrics
oh what a night oh what a night late ensemble back when she did three
by the way i was in an internment camp i was full of glee
what a lady what a night
oh what a night late december uh 1945
i look in the sky and what a night
it was so unbearably bright
was it 45 i don't know 45 yeah yeah yeah how about uh similar time too
from the german's perspective yeah
that would have been a terrible night actually
what just you're out you know what i mean you're you're like you know me
picking rice i don't know how they do it
but also you look in the sky i know what a dreadful
it doesn't even make a noise does it
dude did you see have you seen the rehearsal with nathan fielder
he learned to fly a commercial plane it's like one of the craziest things i
think i've ever seen in my entire life
yeah i think i saw him in a news interview saying that
he really did wow like i thought i was a bit and then i was like is this a bit
inside of a bit
inside because he's very layered he digs down as deep as you go yeah he
literally flies he looks like one
a 730 he does look like a pilot yeah yeah
does he land at sussex obviously smooth dude really he does a great job but he
had tons of hours of training
he did all the training wow so he flies a comer he has a commercial airline
pilot's license
you need to watch it man that's incredible i want to watch the guy's absolutely
brilliant
oh he's so he's top level he's i know can you imagine the difference between
guys like him and us
it's unbelievable yeah he's at the top of like i met another one of our
where do you think we're bottom dwellers we're yeah we're uh what are the what
are the fish at the bottom
carp what are the bullheads whatever feeds on dirt yeah that's us dirt dust and
grime no we're like
that's us yeah we are that yeah yeah that's you for sure that's me that's for
you for sure
that's absolutely me yeah and go with what am i i'm the black one that's you
that's me
yeah i don't even have the black one you're an angler fish oh yeah where am i
um there you are
that's me dude yeah yeah for sure that is one of the ugliest fish i've ever
seen my entire life
i know it's unbelievable would you eat it would you eat it it depends on how
hungry i am so this is
the thing about food food has to look good for me too yes i would if i was a
chef i would slice
that up dude you i bet you can make it look nice i would chop the nose off i
did the ice house last
night with and i went back to back with arsenio and i'm telling you man still
to this day arsenio hall
is a joke writing machine a cultural icon still up on his game he's on his a
game not just a game
he's also kind he's the sweetest guy man yeah anybody's genuine it's not his
generation like
right above you his generation has a lot of well he's three generations before
me
no what do you mean he's one class above you you're 53 he's 68 what class are
you then two below you
pal no you're one below me two there's no way yeah there's people in between
you and you're 40
i'm 41 you're 53 there's right so that's the same difference between me and
arsenio you're not
listening there were less comics back then though classes were smaller but the
people that made it
everyone's nodding at me there's way more comics now today than there was i was
around back then
there was triple the amount not not and then the comedy death successful comedians
there's way more
now than there's ever been oh my god this is the most insane thing i've ever
heard there's way more
comics selling tickets now on the road than there was when your generation you
had like 10 guys selling
tickets there's like 30 people selling tickets now like real tickets eddie murphy
selling tickets go on martin lawrence selling tickets okay jerry seinfeld
selling tickets who's that
okay carlin i mean the list goes on i'm telling you cosby there's got to be
more comics now than ever
because the internet there's guys that we don't even know that sell out
theaters that we're not even
aware of yeah because comedy is just so broad now i would hate to be bill cosby's
assistant
i mean imagine the errands you go get it okay
it's like here here's that medicine yeah yeah that's what i'm saying why so
much a lot did you
see rickett gervais got a star on the hollywood walk of fame and he and he goes
i'm here next to
so many legends michael jackson bill cosby it was great dude it was great it
was a great speech really
he's the man he just did the hollywood bowl he sold more tickets i'm sorry not
more tickets he had
the highest grossing sale at the hollywood bowl because his ticket prices are
set differently but
he had the highest grossing hollywood bowl sell wow isn't that crazy is it
crazy he's so funny though
so famous so fun i love all the specials i know i begged him to be on this show
and he's i think i
wrote him a dm one time and i said would you come on bad friends i'd love to
have you on the podcast and
he and he just wrote i'm all right mate and i was like great that's good did he
really respond yeah he
did yeah you know him no oh he knows us yeah yeah he knows we know him we love
him he likes us right
here i'll try to find it oh my god i try to find it i hate i hate rejection oh
right he just wrote
cheers oh cheers that that's good no it's nice cheers is yes no i don't think
so yeah cheers cheers you know
what cheers is cheers is the british thumbs up to a text when you just get like
a thumbs up it's like
saying yeah sure whatever no liverpool one cheers cheers cheers mate yeah but
liverpool one cheers
that's a different cheers that's yes but otherwise like this say um uh have a
good day to me go
let me give you something else huh i stubbed my toe yeah cheers
oh okay it's it's applicable for everything right it's kind of like our uh what's
up this jamba juice
line is too long oh yeah cheers i see because you could be annoyed i understand
it i understand
yeah are you getting geared up and excited for london and dublin i'm actually
so excited to go over
there yeah cheers cheers cheers cheers cheers yeah so on this show yeah what we
do is we banter
about stuff and what i do is i find ways to like lead us down new conversation
it's so it's so it's so
funny what you're doing right now because a lot a lot of times you don't agree
last episode you didn't
agree well when you negate it when you so i just negated you and don't ever
talk to me like that son
i'll talk to you how i want all right you're one generation below me two no
dude listen old
man yeah i'm two below you pal you look older than me okay let me just say this
okay if no one knew
who we were and we lined us up right and go how old are these guys we'd be the
same age that's not
true yeah and that's the sad part i mean they do that to be nice to you because
you're portly
they do that to portly guys to be nice anytime you see a portly guy you're like
you you look young
okay i'm not portly anymore it stays with you do i still look portly i know
what carlos what
you look great no i look portly be honest you're like you're 70 there you're
skinny fat
you're skinny fat because your body is skinnier but they're still fat i know it's
the level of
health i looked in my mirror today oh no you gotta change your diet stop eating
trash i know you're
eating trash what'd you have for breakfast nothing that's not trash that's not
good that's not bad
either nothing all right what'd you have for lunch i didn't eat anything yet
okay this is bad yeah
you and by the way there's got to be something else it's not intermittent
fasting you're intermittent
i woke up at three what can you eat from three to four i raced over here i had
to do things and
then come over here what did you have to do i had to look at my body in the
mirror i go oh my god
i'm portly you're not portly yeah you actually look better than you've ever
looked i'm shocked
what would you say that even out loud you got me all paranoid on a comedy show
yeah yeah oh you
know what dude i'm tired of you lecturing me about comedy dude okay say that
again why don't you
why don't you lecture me about comedy just say you're excited about london
start there man i'm so
excited to go to london me too oh my god cheers my god what are we gonna do we're
gonna get some
fucking crumpets yeah we'll get some crumpets yeah yeah i watched a clip the
other day you know what i
would see a nutcracker are there nutcrackers out there oh they got them okay
good i watched a clip
of a bunch of uh what i assume to be female footballers and they were asking
them what their
favorite biscuits are now biscuits here different story biscuits there are
cookies right yeah this is
this is interesting look this up look it up um i don't know it's a team it was
like a tiktok
but they're right they're like about to go on a bus but the point my point is
look this they all said
the same thing they all said chocolate digestives that's the name of a cookie
oh you have to add
those but they're so good right the name digestive is so off-putting have you
noticed though it does
digest better it does it goes right it goes in and out yeah chocolate digestives
yeah milk chocolate
it's a weird name everything about this place is goofy zoom in look at that 266
grams of chocolate
digestives yeah wow normal look at the name of the company mcvicties yeah yeah
all right get some
mcvicties there these guys are cartoon characters right like they haven't
caught up look at that
though they are very good i mean you know my favorite candy anastasia a candy
anastasia yeah would you
like a candy anastasia yes please with a glass of warm copuloso yeah there it
is mcvicties digestive
milk chocolate favorite coating waffles i mean it's insane it's crazy since 1839
it's very japanese
actually it is quite japanese right it is that's also that that is exactly what
japan what are they
called japan people do oh so um what i'm going to say to you is that let's
start over start over
don't be negative yeah be positive yeah yeah because since we've been here you've
called me um portly
right i did since we've been here i take it back oh you do take it back okay i
just took it back you
see that i negate jokes careful with that word yeah yeah why so you saw am i
what do you see mission
impossible no i we let's go see it together tonight you want to see it tonight
yeah i have tonight but
it's got to be imax let's imax tonight but there's only four imaxes in la let's
go tonight it's the only
night you can do because i go to hawaii wednesday let's do it okay okay tonight
i've heard it's dinner
and and i'm at imax i heard it's not that good yeah i've heard a lot of
difference oh you didn't
like it you saw it i saw it i think it's pretty good but the first the first
hour is flashbacks of
the previous movies and i'm a fan i've seen every single one so they'll be very
nostalgic for me i
haven't missed one it's some white girl that's never seen it before like what
the is going on
you know what i mean i mean that's not as you know i mean hd as you know you
know what i mean
is that going to be in is that going to be their promo is like don't bring a
white girl yeah mission
impossible don't bring a white girl yeah i can't i can't wait to see it because
it's his last one i
hate romantic movies anyway i saw it last night because people are on tiktok
you saw what last night
taken the original taken yeah i've never seen it before oh my god it's such a
good movie i hated it
what that movie's so good it's after you see all the equalizers and john wick
and you go back to see
taken right it's like what is this this is the problem it doesn't make any
sense well because it's
old dude the movie came out of such a long time ago it's not going to stand the
test