Name: The Island Bullies Are Back | Ep 280 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-07-28T16:00:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Island Bullies Are Back | Ep 280 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Island Bullies Are Back | Ep 280 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-28. Transcript available.

The Island Bullies Are Back | Ep 280 | Bad Friends

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think this is incredible these this design is my favorite so far these hats we
have these shirts
and these hats and this is like the thank you bags that you get which we love
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some stuff down below for you to read when you get them you'll see you'll love
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hats these shirts
and socks for your feetsies get these right now at badfriendsmerch.com you two
are bad friends who
are these two idiots a white dude and an asian dude you two are disgusting oh
you two are something we're
bad friends i mean i don't want to use um world war ii references please but
above my refrigerator
on the top of my refrigerator you know what i call it ashwitz dude why there's
93 i'm not kidding you i
have 93 traps the hotels yeah the little mouse trap yeah yeah and i go oh you
mean the ant trap the
ant trap the ant trap i have 90 94 93 of them in there right and how many how
many ants have you
caught six million no about eight no i've caught thousands of them and what six
million is a funny
oh god damn it dude god damn it i missed i missed the joke i missed the joke
dude that joke was so good
six million yeah yeah yeah yeah um you know what here if we redid the joke you
would i would have said
god damn that was good i would have said how many ants did you catch six
million and you would have
and you would have said that's what they say that's i know i know i know but i
didn't even
it's all good get it i'm so sorry that's how good you are no i'm not good yeah
yeah oh yeah so no i've i
well i thought i was being literal about it i got you yeah i mean so probably
thousands is there food
up there well apparently what happens in the summer is it gets so hot they have
to come inside to come
inside i know i got spiders all over my house spiders the same way and the dog
catches the spiders and
this is the funniest part she's sick she's sick she plays with them she doesn't
kill them right away
she pushes them in the corner with her nose and keeps them in there right like
a maniac and then i'll
come over and be like what are you doing what are you doing and then she's like
and she'll look and
the spider will be like i don't know yeah yeah she pushes it up against the
wall and yeah she waits
for me to get there then she kills it yeah it's kind of tight i like that
little hunter mentality dude
you know what i like to do what when i'm taking a bath sometimes i'll see a
spider
and i talk i think you want to go swimming right but they can't swim no they
can't when you're taking a
bad do you ever see bugs oh what do you mean yeah yeah that's where they love
because there's a
the pipes the water all that they love all that stuff yeah i used to think
putting a spider down
the drain or down the like in the toilet kills it i've seen spiders come right
back up i'm not
even kidding i've seen a spider come right back up you know what i did once and
this is when i was
bored and i think my xbox is broken right but check this out dude wait what do
you mean it's broken
it was this is when this the very first xbox broke when i had like 15 20 years
ago what's it
called the red ring of death is that what it was the red ring of death yeah you
remember right i
remember that so i had nothing to do during the day you know what i mean and so
i stared at a you
know a scout ant a scout ant yeah i don't know what that is so what sometimes i
think that's i mean
i'm not a oh they send him in early huh right so there's a guy they send you
know it's like our
carlos yeah yeah yeah and go go see go check it out go check it out yeah so
whenever sometimes
you'll see like an ant by itself you know i mean you know just by himself it's
crazy imagine dude
imagine being and then seeing someone you know i mean a human this gigantic
mountain thing right
right so i suck and grab a cracker like a full-size cracker no it was like a
chunk of a cracker but you
know i mean he's like i'm gonna bring this to the village so from the kitchen i
tracked him i let him
carry it for a long time that's nice of you right all the way to the living
room which probably took
about two hours right i scooped him back up and i made him start over i made
him start over he you
know yeah what the fuck dude that's like ant and i let him do it again yeah
yeah you got you got to
teach him a lot to teach him a lesson you can't just crush them people's
attitude towards those bugs
wide but uh harming or killing bugs uh important to find strong disapproval of
such actions find him
cruel and unethical even concerning psychological tendencies and children undeveloped
empathy and
psychopathic behavior what do you think what you're trying to tell me is this
when dahmer was a kid
that was in the movie right that was in a bag of bones right if i hit a bag of
ants it would be the
same sick sign pretty close i don't think so well it's near i don't if i had a
jar of dead ants i
don't think it's the same as bone wait a minute dude you have a whole jar of
ants yeah that's crazy
that's even crazier how many are in the jar six six million
i have an oshwitz of ants so what you're saying to me right now is if you had a
son
yeah i'm your ck you are my i was in the backyard hey buddy what were you doing
out back
nothing nothing it seems like you have stuff in your hands in your pockets what
is that
nothing no show me your hands bud i want to see oh my god is that that's right
that's a bunch of dead grasshoppers yeah what are you doing would you why do
you have so many what are
you doing i like the plucked wings you pluck the wings off the grasshoppers
yeah and then what they
still alive when i poke your wings oh my god and you know what they do what
they get i hurt them so
good and you like this feel good i get daddy daddy i get hard when i do it well
i'm glad i'm divorcing
your mom anyway i pluck the wing uh-huh right and then what i do is i take a
stick yeah a little teeny
stick yeah i die you poke out their eyes right you know what i do then they go
swirly oh my god
because they don't know what's going on so they go in a circle hello adoption
agency you would do that
we want to give them back yeah what would you do this because you're my adopted
son obviously obviously
in this scenario yeah yeah okay what about this when they adopt a kid from russia
does this happen
in you know you know russian kids crazy i don't know maybe gotta be knife work
knife work yeah yeah
they know how to they know how to do that they do yeah what is that what is
that called yeah i like
that this the blade yeah yeah what the butterfly knife they can do that that's
dude watch us do google
a kid with a butterfly knife i guarantee he's a russian kid who knows how to do
it yeah 100 if you adopt
if you adopt a russian kid who can butterfly knife right or the daddy you want
to play a game and then
you know that that right like remembering aliens aliens was it aliens aliens
and they let the you know
the robot look at this there's a little russian girl right now right obviously
playing with a
butterfly knife yeah and her dad is like really good girl very good yeah yeah
you have to learn yeah so
if you had a russian kid he was doing some shady oh yeah he's three years old
adopted from russia yeah
like you wake up one night right and he's just standing over you with a
butterfly knife
and for some reason a spatula right good morning daddy you know what i mean or
good you know what would
you would you what would it take for you to go go back to russia it would make
a good fight scene for
sure out of me and the kid i mean i'd have to fight him he's obviously instigating
a fight
then butterfly knife in the spatula if he's gonna cook me something or we're
gonna fight yeah i made spaghetti
daddy okay uh do you want pasta no you're going back dude really we're putting
you back on the boat
yeah i think i i don't know how but that would really traumatize the kid he
traumatized me i i know
i don't need that but can't you change him no dude that's what they say and
then damer's dad was like
we can't believe he was boiling body oh that's right they acted like they didn't
know it was coming the
whole time right that's what you do you cannot change that back on the boat
there's a lot of signs
you know i mean and i get it like if you're emo emo is different than most
different than psychotic
for sure but what i'm saying is one of the signs probably because i've never
had children
right but if your son doesn't have any friends like okay so i'm your son i have
no friends dog
well let's get you some friends buddy i don't want friends i want to stay in
the room forever dog
okay what are you doing in the room though what why are you a little plucking
caterpillar wings
dad poking their eyes out brah all right well all right what do you mean all
right dad comedy guy
oh man yeah oh man what you know what i mean what kind of dude you know what ron
howard had a
better career than you dad yeah he did yeah if there's a redhead he's the top
redhead well i
agree yeah you know what dad you know what dad i have redheads too because of
the genetic code
i can't get any pussy dad because you're fucking bullshit well that's your
fault no it's your
fault too dad because you gave me the red hair you freak i'll kill you that's
where i lasted five
seconds that's what i'm trying to get to unless yeah well look at the
behavioral traits of kids who
might be psychotic people who have cruelty to animals fascination with fire ooh
that one me for
sure that's a good one persistent bedwetting that's bedwetting that's me i
still do that antisocial
behavior that's what's an antisocial behavior you don't want to go talk to
people you don't
want to be around people no that's not us okay that's not us manipulative or
deceitful behavior
that's us yeah that's me yeah you manipulate you're the king manipulator lack
of empathy empathy and
remorse we have we have that all right aggression and violence me spades not me
fascination with
violence and death that's more you than me well i like ballerina last night i
saw that that's pretty
violent was it what it was violent you don't know what ballerina is what is
ballerina well let me
explain it to you oh it's john wick so what they're trying to do is try to you
know expand the franchise
oh god i couldn't even get to the last one it's loved it was so bad it was you
know what there was
some disconnection in the i i don't think it was directed well but the last one
wasn't good either
i tried to watch it it was so bad oh so they're having this girl who is that
girl i know that's
that's she plays the ballerina yeah this movie didn't do well she's huge she's
great in it too she's
so you can you know here's what's sad about ballerina okay i'm not a film
critic but we
are kind of yeah we are kind of but when you're watching her you know she's
trying so hard to be
i mean look at she's doing all the john wick shit yeah you know what i mean it's
getting thrown over
cabinets you know what i mean i mean doing so she's doing her own stunts oh
yeah and she's doing it and
you're in your and you you're you're you're you're saying i wish this was a
better movie for you
because you are doing such hard work she's busting ass busting your ass 106
million worldwide
i i gotta be honest with you i bet you the budget wasn't that high oh my god it
had to be a hundred
million dollar movie no way was it that visually stunning it had to be the stunts
and all because
the john wick history how much was about 80 million to 90 million yeah it had
to have been okay because
look at the john wick franchise as a whole they started that whole thing with
such low budget nothing
it was like 10 20 million or something i'm telling you that's by the way i
watched the worst documentary
of all time last night let me guess what it is what a waste of time can i guess
the topic go ahead