Name: Bobby Turns 54 | Ep 288 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-09-22T16:01:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Turns 54 | Ep 288 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Turns 54 | Ep 288 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-22. Transcript available.

Bobby Turns 54 | Ep 288 | Bad Friends

- You two are bad friends.
- Who are these two idiots?
- A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
- You two are something.
- We're bad friends.
- Don't, dude.
- Happy birthday to you.
- Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.
- Happy birthday to you.
- Let the gong out.
- Happy birthday, dear Bobby.
- Happy birthday to you.
- Very good video.
- 54 years old on the church.
- When Koreans turn 54, they talk like this.
- You look so good for 54 years old.
Rudy, do you have anything to say to start the show off
for Bobby's 54th birthday here in the year of our Lord 2025?
- I hope you don't die.
- I hope you don't die either, bud.
- I hope I don't die either, dude.
- Thank God you won't.
- Is that your fear that I'm gonna die?
- Yeah, you look really old.
- What?
Do you think about me dying?
- Yeah, like ever since I looked at that photo,
I feel like you're closer to death.
That's why.
- What photo?
- The one that Anthony Melanie sent me for your passport.
- Oh yeah.
- Oh, well no, that was this more Olympic face.
- Can we bring up episode one of this show,
just so we can stay still framing.
Look what you look like then,
look what I looked like then.
We can just do a little throwback,
just so we can see what we look like.
- Yeah.
- Click on the first episode we ever did,
Bad Friends episode one,
and let's see what we look like.
I don't wanna hear anything, but wow.
- Wow.
- You look at the difference.
Wow.
- Wow.
- Look at you now and look at you then.
- Like 20 years have passed.
- Yeah, you're like Obama after he left office.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That's stressful.
- Wow.
- Wow.
- Look at you then.
- Same thing.
- You look the same.
- I shaved my beard.
- We both look the same.
- No, no.
- I look younger then?
- Yes.
- You look like a child.
Look at little young Bob.
And now you're older and wiser.
Look at how clean your arms are.
No liver spots, no nothing.
- Oh my God, you're right.
- Wow.
- But you look fatter.
- You do look fatter.
Thank you, McCone.
- God McCone, you're trying to get on my good side, baby.
- Yeah, dude.
- You look skinny mini now.
- Yeah.
I'm the Korean Luigi Mangione.
- You really, yeah, free Bobby.
- It's so funny.
I mean, people see it all the time online.
- They do.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- They really.
- What?
- They see it all the time.
- I'm the Korean.
- The sexiest guy in the world.
- But the Korean version.
- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, but they do call me the Korean Mangione.
And also, I saw a photo of him today.
And I have to be honest with you.
Am I expressing my feelings?
- About Luigi?
Yeah, let's hear it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Hot as fuck.
- You like him, huh?
You really like him.
- Dude, he's so hot.
- Look at him there.
- Yeah.
He's a murdering fool, but he's hot.
- You know who he looks like?
James Franco and Sam Murrell.
He's like if they mixed.
- Ah, a little Sam Murrell.
- A little Sam Murrell.
- And 5% me.
- The curly hair.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- He also like bulked up.
Like he got bigger.
- Well, you gotta get Jack before you go to jail.
- Prison, yeah.
- Prison rules, dude.
- Yeah.
You think that he's gonna get.
- Uh, is he's gonna get the death penalty?
- That you think he's gonna go to like real prison prison?
- He's gonna go to prison.
Yeah, they're gonna be.
- Is he in jail now or prison prison?
- He's in jail.
You go to jail until you're hearing and then,
but the trial started today?
- Yeah.
Second degree murder, they.
- But the Mangione lawyers said they had a big win today,
right?
- Big win.
- Big win for the kid, didn't he?
- No terrorism charges.
- No terrorists.
Right, no terrorist charge.
Good escape, Mang.
- Yeah, there you go.
- Would you date him if he got out?
- Of course.
- This is why they write letters to people in prison.
Like this girl, you know, like those, those like,
what are the, there's a thing on TikTok I've seen
where female inmates are like, hi, 14, 442.
I'm in Pacoima and I'm getting out in June
and I just wanna meet a nice guy.
- I know.
- And the responses are insane.
The amount of guys that line up.
- Oh my God, you saw on Netflix,
there's this doctor who broke out a guy from prison.
- Yeah.
- A doctor got conned.
- Well, just 'cause she's a doctor?
- Yeah.
- She likes dick.
- I think when you get excited,
I think when you get excited, it just comes out weird.
- Well, he's a weird.
- That's what I hear.
- I was busy watching the Charlie Sheen documentary
because he reminded me of you.
McCona and I were saying-
- Tiger blood?
- Tiger blood.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- And also he-
- Cat blood.
- He admitted that he-
- What'd you say?
- Cat blood.
He admitted that he-
- Wait, wait, wait.
- He likes boys.
He likes guys.
- Really?
- In the documentary, spoiler alert,
he says that he was tired of the,
at some point you get tired of one side of the menu
and you flip it over and you try the other side of the menu.
And we thought of you because you try the whole menu
when we go to eat at restaurants.
So, you trying the other side?
- Well, when I was in high school, I did try some.
- Charlie Sheen.
You know what I mean?
But-
- You share a lot of similarities.
- That doesn't offend me.
- It shouldn't.
- You know what offends me?
- What?
- Cat blood.
- Cat blood.
- That, I have tiger.
So you're saying that Charlie Sheen,
he loves tiger blood, but I love cat blood?
Why can't it be tiger blood?
- It's not that he loves, it's that he has tiger blood.
- Yeah, I mean, I have, I mean, yeah.
- No, you have cat blood.
- Yeah.
- You're a cat.
You, you know, you roam, you sleep, your hours are odd.
You don't really like people that much,
but you really secretly do.
You're a cat.
How are you not a cat?
You're absolutely a cat.
Yeah.
- I am a cat, right?
- You look like a furry right now.
- What?
- A furry.
- You look like a furry.
- God damn it, Jules, it's my birthday.
- It is your birthday.
- Be supportive.
We sell weapons together.
- You already saw it.
- I saw it again with her.
- Did you like it?
- It's so good.
- It is so good.
- Did you see it?
- No.
- Why?
- I'm holding out.
- You refuse.
- I'm holding out for when it gets to DVD.
I want to watch.
- It is out.
- On DVD?
- We streamed it at my house.
- I want to buy it on DVD.
- Oh, Blu-ray.
- I still want to watch it.
- Oh, you want to put the thing, the-
- He wants the VHS tape.
- I'm old school.
- Yeah, okay.
- I tried to go watch it, but I was out of town,
so I just got back, and then I tried,
and my wife doesn't want to see it,
so I got to go alone.
- What?
- Or I got to go on the road.
- Yeah, why doesn't your wife want to see it?
- I think 'cause she saw the trailer and was like,
is it scary?
Is it, what is it?
- She doesn't like scary movies.
- She doesn't, she likes them okay.
- Yeah.
- That's not her favorite.
- So I was like, I'll go see it alone on the road.
- Scariest movie of all time.
- Scariest movie of all time?
- Yeah.
- Quick, quick, quick.
- The scariest movie of all time.
- Scariest movie of all content.
- When Harry Met Sally.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What's the scariest movie?
- The orgasm scene in the diner.
Oh my God, I ran out of the theater.
- What's the scariest movie of all time?
What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
- Did you ever see When Harry Met?
- No. - She doesn't know what that is.
- Okay.
- What's the scariest movie of all time?
- Are you being real or do I mean,
'cause I was gonna say Shrek,
'cause you were doing that?
- Well, Shrek, throwback, dude.
Little Guy Fieri throwback.
- Yeah, yeah, what?
- Our buddy Guy was texting us today, big time.
He was blowing us up, I love it.
- Yeah, I would say The Exorcist.
- It freaked me out the most 'cause I watched it too young.
- Yeah, when you were young watching it,
'cause you'd never seen anything like it.
- I wasn't supposed to watch it.
My babysitter showed it to me.
- Yeah, it's just the...
- So, so bad, right?
Is that what happened in your house, dude?
You watched stuff you weren't supposed to watch?
Well, who was your babysitter as a kid?
The Trees?
- Maybe, but it's always my uncles were just like watching.
- Watch over her.
- That smoking man in the tree, that...
- What's a smoking...
- Agda, Agda.
- Agda, please watch over her, Agda.
- No, but my uncles were always just watching porn.
- Oh, okay.
- Those can be scary.
- It's scary.
- Those can be very scary.
- Those are very scary, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That's gross.
Your uncle would just watch porn in the living room?
- Yeah, and then my cousins and I would just be laughing.
- Gross, that's so insane.
- What about the uncle that chops people up with machetes?
- He's still scary, but...
- He's so scary, that guy.
- I've never seen him watch porn.
- Oh, you never?
- So for your birthday, what's big?
What's coming up?
Do you want your gift?
- Not yet.
- Okay.
- Edging.
- Yeah, I'm gonna edge the gift.
- He likes edging.
- Well, the thing about gifts is that people don't really
give me the right gifts.
- That's right.
Well, they don't cost enough for you.
- Oh my God, what?
- I mean, we did put effort in this year,
so to act defeated beforehand is a little disheartening.
- Well, I'm just saying that it's based on history.
- How about this?
- Yeah?
- What do you want to have happen this year
different than the last year?
- Well, I kind of want to do it like mafia style, actually.
- What does that mean?
- You know, when the mafia weddings?
- The envelope.
- You want to go around?
You want the envelope of cash?
- Yeah.
- I'll just give my own thing.
- I'll do that tomorrow, when I come see you tomorrow.
- An envelope of cash is, I think, the most respectful gift.
- Yeah, but the amount of cash you want is,
people aren't gonna give you cash.
- Even if it's $50?
- Well, that's what you're gonna give.
- Let's say you work at Chipotle,
and you come to my birthday party.
Okay?
Give me five bucks.
- Okay, and then if you work at a bigger job,
you have to give more money.
- Yes.
- What's the-- - If David Spade comes,
give me a grand.
- Okay, give you a grand.
Well, you know he's not coming to your birthday party.
- I know, I've had some people,
'cause I guess it's a surprise.
I don't know who's going.
- Yeah, you don't know.
- I don't know.
- I know.
- But people are texting me directly, like I can't make it.
But I'm not the one that--
- Surprise!
- Yeah, I know, I'm not the one.
- Do you know where it is or what's going on?
- Like Sia.
You know the singer?
- Yeah.
- She texted me today, "I can't make it."
And I'm like, and then, and then, Kalilah--
- I cannot make your birthday party!
Your birthday party!
If she sung you that at a voice message--
- Oh my, amazing.
- Dude, that would've crushed me.
- She's the best, though.
Have you ever been to her house?
- No, I haven't been to her fucking house.
But is Sia's house?
I hate when the internet is like,
"Do you know when it's Hollywood for--"
You hang out with fucking Hollywood people all the time.
- I didn't know who she was!
- Liar!
- Anyway--
- Liar!
- One time, she came out on her balcony, right?
- Did she sing?
- During COVID, I think.
- The Pope?
- And she sang from the balcony.
And we're all like in the garden and stuff,
like in a picnic kind of an area.
- Whoa.
- Right?
And we were just tears.
- Just singing.
- Like acapella.
- Fake tears.
- Fake tears.
But they're still tears nonetheless.
- What?
- I think yours were fake.
- Yeah, I put water.
- So do you know where the birthday party is?
- You do.
- Yeah, of course, I'm asking if you do.
- I don't know.
That's why I'm gonna get it out of you right now.
- No chance.
- Yeah, 'cause you're my best friend.
- Yeah, but why would I try to ruin
somebody else's surprise?
That's crazy. - It doesn't matter.
- It does matter.
That's why it's a surprise.
- So in the place that we're having it,
am I gonna be like, "Oh my God, I can't believe it."
- Yes, I think so.
- Are you invited?
- No.
- Okay.
- Why wouldn't they invite the team?
- I told them not to.
- I see.
- It was pretty deliberate.
- Carlos, are you invited?
- No, I'm not