Name: Shane Gillis Confronts Bobby | Ep 300 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-12-15T17:01:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Shane Gillis Confronts Bobby | Ep 300 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Shane Gillis Confronts Bobby | Ep 300 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-15. Transcript available.

Shane Gillis Confronts Bobby | Ep 300 | Bad Friends

You two are bad friends!
Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
You two are something.
We're bad friends.
Hey, bad friends. Welcome back to our 300th episode.
Woo!
We're so excited to be here. We're in...
So excited.
...Phoenix, Arizona.
Yeah. P-H-O-E-N-I-X. Phoenix. Arizona.
This will probably be the last episode that we do.
Yeah.
I'm just getting warmed up, guy.
Yeah, dude. You are.
You're warm.
And our guest today, go ahead and introduce our guest.
Well, he's one of my favorites, man.
Yeah?
Yeah, man.
Shane Gillis, dude.
Shane.
Top dog.
Top, top, top, top dog.
Yeah.
Top dog.
Yeah.
Top dog.
Buddies.
You know?
Let's start it off the right way.
What?
Do you want to say anything to Shane after, you know, about 50 episodes ago
or something you dissed Shane pretty hard?
I didn't know I didn't.
Yeah, you did.
It was insane.
You didn't?
I saw it.
It was really hurtful.
Yeah.
Okay.
So what did I say?
Do you remember?
It looked like I was a corpse.
Underwater.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which, you know, you're not.
You weren't wrong.
I know.
And I hurt you.
And, you know, my bad, dude.
That's okay.
And it's like, you know, to me, I look like I'm right next to you at the bog.
Don't do that.
Look, I did that with my mind, dude.
That's pretty good.
You know what I mean?
You want Asian magic?
That's Asian magic, dude.
Telepathy.
Move.
She's knocking stuff over.
Move over.
Oh.
Hey.
Bob Dylan's here, guys.
Get in here, Bob Dylan.
Yeah.
Okay, here we go.
Hang tight.
All right.
Oh.
Thanks, man.
Hey, how you doing?
Got a show tonight.
Take it easy on that.
Sorry.
Consuming a lot of that content.
Yeah.
Are you liking all that stuff?
Oh, my God.
I'm jerking off.
I got no back here.
You got no back, bud.
Yeah.
Damn.
You want backing?
I got it.
All right.
What's up, buddy?
Oh, I'm hungover.
We did it up last night.
Yeah.
What happened down in Tucson?
The show in Tucson, yeah.
Yeah.
What happened?
I heard you're calling out the driver.
Huh?
Oh, he was dropping bombs.
Shit his pants.
Farting up a storm.
Yeah.
I felt like New Jersey in there.
Yeah.
It was rough.
Then we're getting out of the car and he goes, yeah, see you later, Robert,
with your nasty rotten ass.
Jesus Christ.
He was a bad driver, too.
He was a terrible driver.
Yeah.
I just want to go back a little bit, back to your apology to Shane, because I
do want to make it public on the show.
Uh-oh.
Okay.
Why are you trying to hurt my feelings, man?
Okay.
I'll be honest with you.
Okay.
You want to get real?
No, I don't.
Hey, honcho.
You want to get real, amigo?
No.
Yeah.
My brother, when he goes Spanish, he means it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Los pantalones, my amigo.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's where I just ate.
Yeah.
I admire you.
Shut the fuck up.
All right.
That's worse.
Give me a shot.
No, that's way worse.
Keep talking shit.
I'd rather you.
No, no, no, no.
I'd rather you be mean.
Give me a shot, amigo.
All right.
All right.
Let's be real for a second.
Yeah.
And don't interrupt.
Don't interrupt me.
Because that's rude.
If you keep talking like that, I'm gonna call ice.
All right.
I'm not that type.
No.
They take Asians.
Yeah.
Oh, they do?
They take them off.
Yeah.
Please don't call them.
Okay.
All right.
So, I love you so much.
You've been so nice to me.
Mm-hmm.
And I think we're friends.
And I, you know...
Look at me in the eyes, fool.
All right.
All right.
You can't find them.
Yeah.
All right.
That was a good one.
1980s shit.
I love it.
That's my whole act.
Yeah, yeah.
I love you too, bud.
All right.
Get back to him.
All right.
And when I said it, I felt bad.
When you texted me, it was a threat.
Yeah.
We're done or whatever.
You know what I mean?
I felt bad about it, dude.
I thought about it.
And I'm like, I shouldn't have attacked you in that way.
And I really admire you and I hope you forgive me.
I totally forgive you.
Okay. All right.
I forgive you.
Can we go with that now?
I didn't need you to do that.
I thought that was wild that you did that.
I just kind of wanted to set you up to do that.
That was really cool to do that.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
When I do say something.
What about when I say something about Shane and I'll go, like when I said, oh,
yeah.
And Shane's playing Lincoln financial field, the football, the football stadium.
And then what do you say?
That's great.
No, no.
I know you fucking said something nasty.
What did I say?
He goes, I don't want to hear about Shane's not the king.
He's not the king.
Whoa.
That's what he says.
I did not say that.
That's fucking outrageous.
We have a whole room of people that are-
That's absolutely outrageous.
Pull it up.
Is that true?
Is that true that he says that stuff?
It is true.
It is true.
Thank you.
What the fuck, man?
So who is the king?
I honestly did.
I haven't slapped.
You know what I mean?
I said that.
You did?
All right.
All right.
Because here's what you're- can I tell you why?
Yeah.
All right.
Because he's like- because I didn't want- you feel bad, I feel like, when you
say it.
I feel bad?
Yeah, because you're doing yuck yucks in these smaller places.
You're doing these like, you know what I mean, wise guys, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Which is a great club, you know what I mean?
You weren't you just at that club last week?
I played in two weeks.
Yeah, so what are you talking about?
Yeah, but- you know what I mean?
I mean, I say it as a celebration of our- of the people that we work with.
And I celebrate as well.
No, you don't like it because you're 54, you're old, and you think that's weird
that he's young
and great, and you're old, and it's over.
He's one of the best comics on planet Earth.
I've never fucking denied that.
You say that because he's here, but not when he's not here.
Who are you?
Ooh, slam.
What the fuck are you doing, guy?
By the way-
We're good?
Kevin Hart did the field.
He did.
The Eagles.
And he only did 53K.
I think you're going to go for the 70.
Yeah, I'm going to do the middle.
The middle.
I'm going to do the round.
Oh.
Yeah.
So you can fit more people.
I just, I think doing a stage in a giant place really sucks.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, the whole time I'm up there, I just see someone in the balcony, in the
back.
Right.
You know, that must be the worst show.
Yeah, sure.
Possible.
You got to go around that.
I mean, a football stadium's not going to be the best fucking comedy anyway.
No, but it's a milestone.
It'll be fun.
It's going to be great.
What's that for you?
Huh?
What's that for you?
What do you mean, what's that?
What is that for you?
Like, what would that be for you?
I'm confused.
Like, Philly doing the football stadium.
Oh, geez.
I guess the Superdome?
Yeah.
That's our big spot, you know, in New Orleans.
But would that be what you'd want to do or no?
No.
No?
You know, we got the Sanger Theater, which is like our Carnegie Hall.
So, that would be cool.
Yeah.
Well, I was a little rude today at the airport.
That's all.
What happened?
A couple instances.
Going back to that now.
What happened?
You know how we segue back into like the thing, you know?
Well, you know, I haven't slept in a couple of days.
Oh, yeah?
I was in Vegas.
Oh, shit.
You relapse?
No.
Still sober?
I went to Hustler Tuesday night.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
How much you spend?
About 2,700.
That's not bad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What'd you get for 2,700?
Nothing.
Handy?
No handy nothing.
Come on.
Yeah.
Well, the thing is, is that I was wearing these pants that you don't like.
I don't like them.
Yeah, yeah.
And she was doing, you know, she had a bony ass.
And she was all, I was very erect.
And she was doing one of those things.
It's good.
Excuse me?
It's good.
Correct.
At that age?
Yeah.
No pelt.
Whoa.
Yeah.
No natural.
Well done.
In my main.
Taking a blue jee to go to a strip club.
Yeah.
But she was, you know, with her bony ass, right?
Sure.
And I was getting rug burns on my peepee.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so, and then at the end she squeezed it.
I don't know why she did that at the end.
She was looking for it.
Surprise.
Dude, it's bigger than you think.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It is, right?
Yeah, bigger than people think for sure.
Yeah, yeah.
It doesn't mean anything, but yeah.
You know what?
I'm almost at a point right now, dude, that if she leaves, I'll pull it out.
Who?
Oh shit.
Get out of here, Beck.
Yeah, yeah.
Jules.
She's like my daughter.
Oh.
Anyway, can we talk about, I don't forget, I'm not talking about it now.
Talk about it.
What?
Too much time now.
Talk about it.
Wasn't even that great.
So good.
What are you talking about?
I have no idea.
Don't bring up some more drama, emotional shit.
No, I was just rude tonight.
That's all I think.
What did you do?
Well, so I was in line and it wasn't moving.
You know how that happens?
Sure.
Not moving at all.
Yeah.
And I don't have TSA precheck.
Yeah, which is, what?
Insane TSA.
I'm with you, I don't either.
I don't have any.
What?
You did clear?
I did clear.
Okay.
The clear line was useless now.
It is.
It wasn't moving.
It was an Indian dude.
Oh, shit.
Oh, this motherfucker.
This motherfucker, right?
Go ahead.
What did he sound like?
He had a regular American accent.
Oh, okay.
Good.
Then why was he an Indian guy?
I can smell him.
Got it.
Don't point at me.
I'm not with you on that.
Come on.
That's appalling.
Anyway, this is a joke.
I couldn't smell.
But anyway, so I can hear him like 20 people back.
Yeah.
Going up to people going, hey, I'm late for my flight.
Can I go ahead of you?
You know?
And people are like, yeah, go ahead.
Right?
Oh, yeah.
I couldn't wait for mine.
Really?
You hit him with no?
Oh, yeah.
Because I was late.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was late.
They were boarding while I was still in line.
Right?
So he comes up to me and he goes, hey, I go, no.
No.
You didn't even let him get it out.
I didn't let him get it out.
I couldn't wait.
I waited 20 minutes to get it out.
Did you just stand behind you?
It was like in the gun.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It was weird.
She was just waiting behind you?
No.
Like that.
Wow.
What did he do?
He goes, okay, sir.
And then I kind of turned around.
I felt guilty.
So I kind of like, you know, my plane's boarding too.
So we're all kind of late.
You know what I mean?
Because it's like, you know what I mean?
First class.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So then here's the second route thing I did, dude.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
I'm on the aisle seat.
You know what I mean?
First class.
They just wink at me.
I don't know.
Don't do that.
Yeah.
You're on the aisle seat.
It was turbulence.
Uh-huh.
Right?
Flight attendant did one of these.
Whoa.
Oh, shit.
Fell down to the ground.
That's great.
And I didn't even move.
Dude, I did a look.
I went, damn, you've changed.
Yeah.
Because when I'm tired, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
You look tired, but you always do.
Another 80s Asian thing, huh?
I love it.
I'm trying to bring it back.
It's vintage.
This might be, yeah.
I think all four of us are very tired.
I'm wiped.
Exhausted.
Yeah.
Exhausted.
I'm exhausted.
But it's a good thing.
This is going to make for a good show tonight.
Four tired.
Five openers.
Everyone's just going, yeah, I don't care.
Everyone's exhausted.
Are you going to whip it out tonight?
No, I don't whip it out.
I can't follow that.
Yeah, I don't whip it out.
Dude, can I say something right now?
After we got fined, he stopped doing that.
First of all, I've never whipped.
No.
Yeah, I'll get fined a million dollars.
Yeah.
What?
I've never whipped my penis out on stage.
Ever.
That's not true.
That's your whole thing.
My butthole.
Butthole.
Oh, butthole.
Butthole.
Got it.
That thing stays.
That thing stays.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, we got fined in Vegas.
That's my penis to stay.
No, we were in Vegas.
Where were we?
Toki the dum-dum.
Yeah, we got fined in Atlanta.
Yeah.
He showed his butthole in Atlanta.
In high school, I used to call it that.
Anyway.
How do you show a butthole?
Do you go all fours?
Right there.
Oh, look at that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He does it too.
But I do it away from the crowd.
He does it too.
Fucking heck.
Jesus.
He