Name: Cindy Lou Who Christmas | Ep 301 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2025-12-22T17:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cindy Lou Who Christmas | Ep 301 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cindy Lou Who Christmas | Ep 301 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-22. Transcript available.

Cindy Lou Who Christmas | Ep 301 | Bad Friends

You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
Oh, you two are something.
We're bad friends.
Welcome to Bad France.
It's wonderful to see you again.
I'm Jack Skellington.
What's this?
What's this?
There's comics everywhere.
What's this?
What's this?
Tony Hinchcliffe everywhere.
Hello there, Grinch.
I'm Jack Skellington.
Hello, Skellington.
Hello.
How are you?
I'm a bony tills.
And who the funk is that?
Lulu?
Lulu?
Who's Lulu?
Who's Lulu?
Who are you referring to?
Me.
Who's Lulu?
Me.
Are you a Lulububu?
Ah, you bought me a Lulububu for Christmas.
There is.
There's a Lulububu, an expensive one.
I'm Jack Skellington.
I imagine this Lulububu was a little bit cheaper,
because it's a Filipino Lulububu.
Yeah, a jungle Lulububu.
A jungle Lulububu?
Yes.
Happy holidays to all.
I'm Jack Skellington.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Do you want to play a Christmas song?
I don't.
Well, we can make one up.
Let's make a Christmas song.
Oh.
What kind of snow is this?
Cancer.
It's crack.
By the way, this is obviously so cancerous.
Yeah.
I mean, we're going to breathe this in.
We're all going to have-
This is asbestos.
Live asbestos.
Yeah.
Sing me a song.
You got to turn it on.
Christmas time for you.
Christmas time for you.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got to be silent with the red nose and the reindeer.
You got to have pumpkin spice and all the glory as you did.
You know?
You get it?
You know what I mean?
The human spirit's alive this Christmas.
Is it not?
Right?
Duality.
Duality.
And expectations.
What are you doing, dude?
Cowbell?
How do you not know how to do a cowbell?
There it is.
You turn it.
Christmas time is forgiving.
And receiving.
But mostly giving.
Mostly receiving for me.
I know.
Yeah.
And taking.
And stealing.
And looting.
So please.
Please don't be biased.
Right?
Just try us.
Just try us.
And don't be.
Pious.
Mary.
To Mary.
To Mary.
Yeah, yeah.
And don't be.
Trying.
Trying.
Trying.
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
Really good.
Is it nice?
Will you sing a song?
Yeah.
Play the rhythm so she'll sing.
Yeah, yeah.
Ready?
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Be good.
Eggnog.
Don't be on the naughty list.
I love Christmas.
Yeah.
Wow.
Good.
It's a hit.
It's a hit.
It's a hit.
It's a hit.
It's a hit.
It's a hit.
Welcome back to Bad Friend.
Merry Christmas.
Kwanzaa as well.
And all of them.
Yeah, marry all of them.
Dude, let's marry.
I mean, what do you got the Buddhists?
What do they do?
Yeah, what do the Buddhists do for Christmas?
Well, you know, they're eating rice for sure.
And they're lighting candles.
Christmas rice.
Yeah, yeah.
They're also doing ummmmmmm.
I'll tell you what I love about Christmas.
It's a white Christmas.
I'm the racist Grinch.
I'm racist as well.
I'm Jack and I'm racist.
Look at my white face.
But my black body.
Which means.
Best of all the worlds.
I'm half.
Merry Christmas.
I can't do the mask.
It's too hot.
I can't breathe.
It's far too hot.
So, um, what'd you do for Thanksgiving?
What did you do?
I went to the Bay's house.
Oh, you did go to Michael fucking Bay's house.
Yeah.
You texted me.
I did.
Okay, so.
That's insane.
Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
I don't know if it was insane.
It's crazy you went to Michael Bay's house for Thanksgiving?
Yeah, yeah.
But it would.
Hollywood.
I'll tell you what I didn't do.
What didn't you do?
You know, I didn't laugh at it.
No photos of you like that?
We didn't take any photos.
No, I, um, I went there because the room of the previous year, I said.
Hey, you bailed.
I bailed.
That's right.
Out of fear.
And then they, then they, we FaceTimed Jules.
From Michael Bay's house?
Yeah.
Because they wanted to talk to Jules.
Yeah, but I was out.
She was out.
You didn't pick up.
Yeah, and then, um, it was a little awkward because it was, I didn't, I thought
it was going
to be like lots of people, but it was like pretty intimate.
It was just you guys?
It was me, Michael, um, his fiance, um, and then, um, his mom.
Michael Bay's mom?
Yeah.
And she was super sweet.
Was there an explosion at dinner?
Did anything-
But then I saw Bumblebee from Bumblebee.
Do you borrow his shirt?
What?
Do you borrow his shirt?
What shirt?
Bumblebee's.
Oh, cause it's yellow?
Really good one.
It looks like a Bumblebee shirt.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what he had though there?
He, you know, he has like a little museum down there and in his, you know,
bottom floor.
And he had the, you ever see The Rock?
The movie The Rock?
Yeah.
One of my favorites.
He directed it, right?
Yeah.
He has that cylinder with the little balls in it.
No way.
Yeah.
And I, I, I held it.
Did you want to steal something?
Yeah.
There was like all those like little knickknacks.
Like a full-blown teen, yeah, that.
Wow.
He has that in his house.
Wow.
Like it's the original.
And then he also has like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes and all this
stuff.
Did you put one on?
No, no, no.
I would.
What Ninja Turtle would you be?
Michelangelo.
Definitely.
I'm Raphael.
Yeah, I know.
You're definitely Raphael.
A hundred percent.
Yeah.
And you guys thought I was going to be the rat, huh?
What's his name?
Splinter.
Splinter.
I'm not Splinter.
That's Splinter.
That's Splinter.
I want to be the orange one.
There's an orange.
That's, that's Leonardo.
No, that's Michelangelo.
I'm Michelangelo.
Cowabunga, dude.
Yeah.
Dude, cowabunga, dude.
And I'm Raphael.
I'm tortured.
Yeah.
What are you?
Donatello for sure.
Donatello.
Donatello has a sigh, right?
He's purple.
Yeah, Donatello.
That's a hundred percent bottom.
There's a Raphael, right?
You're, I'm Raphael.
Oh, you're Raphael.
I have the size.
Oh, my bad.
That's her.
That's Donatello.
That's Donatello.
What else is there?
And then he goes, um, after dinner.
I mean, it was a great dinner too, but it was like awkward because there was a
couple
of guys that are, I think they're arms dealers.
I don't know.
They're just strange guys and like turtlenecks and like, you know, they're, I
don't know if
they're Persian.
I don't know what they are.
And they don't talk much.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I don't know who they were.
And then afterwards he goes, um, let's watch a movie.
Don't tell me he put on one of his own movies.
No, no, no, no.
That would have been so funny.
No, we watched Running Man.
It's a great movie.
In his theater.
Yes.
You sent me a picture of his theater.
I found a photo of the theater.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's huge.
Huge.
How cool.
He's a full blown movie theater down there.
Wow.
And then they wanted us to come over Saturday to watch a movie, but you were
not available.
You went back?
No, but they want, they want to watch a movie with Jules and they invited you.
I have the invite, but you were out of town.
You have my invite?
Well, they go.
Why don't I have my invite?
Well, they go.
Is Andrew in, I thought you were in Chicago.
No, I was here the whole time.
Oh, fuck.
Really?
You could have gone?
No, I was in Chicago.
Yeah, yeah.
You would have never gone.
I would have gone with you to Michael Bay's house.
Yeah, yeah.
For sure.
You would have?
Fodder for the pod.
Yeah, fodder for the pod.
I would have gone.
I mean, Michael was very nice when I met him.
Yeah, he's, yeah.
I mean, you know, was it strange at some point?
Like when you wanted to leave, were you like?
I wanted to leave as soon as I got in the house.
Because it's not my, I realized that I'm just not a social person.
You're not.
Yeah, I'm not like, I don't do these things.
No.
I'm not good at it.
Well, you're, well, there was food.
So I eat the food.
And then you're fucked.
I'm out.
Yeah.
Yeah, but then I wandered around and then, you know, in this backyard, there's
deer.
What?
Michael.
Yeah, but if you like, if you go to like Bill Maher's house.
You've been to Bill Maher's house?
Yeah.
Wow.
And it's, you know, what these guys do is they'll buy like six houses.
Mm-hmm.
And they'll just, you connect them all and it's a compound.
Oh, yeah.
It's like one of those fields.
It's like vast.
That's cool.
And one day you and I will have a compound.
I don't think so.
Together, maybe.
When I'm saying, no, not individually, but like, you know what I mean?
I'll get this house.
There's like three or four buildings.
You get the four house.
Whatever house you want.
You know what I mean?
And then in the buildings, maybe this one will live there.
Maybe the kids here.
Yeah, yeah.
No, thank you.
We want a house.
Yeah.
And then there's a golf cart.
Oh, a golf cart.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
From house to house.
House to house.
I love this.
This is like the secret life of Mormon wives.
What do you think?
I love that shit.
Yeah.
You do?
It's so good.
I heard about it for the first time last night.
What?
The secret lives of Mormon wives.
This is what it's like.
Don't they all live like right near each other?
Yeah, they're all in Provo, Utah.
Yeah.
Well, tell me about the secret lives.
I don't know what's their biggest secret.
Because they're Mormon, their secrets aren't a big deal to us.
Like they just kissed each other's husbands.
So like one time I drank Coke.
It's exactly right.
Yeah, yeah.
And everyone's like, I celebrated my birthday.
Miranda.
I did.
You bitch.
I know.
They do coffee enemas.
They do coffee enemas?
What is that?
It's they put coffee in your ass.
Do people who are addicted to that shit?
Well, I mean, I love coffee.
Yeah.
I do imagine it would be good in my ass.
No, a strange addiction, there's a show that.
I love that.
There's a couple that do it every hour and it's getting out of hand.
You think so?
What?
It's getting out of hand?
Yeah.
They shove coffee in their ass.
Well, the first couple months, you're like, all right, I'll let it slide.
But every hour for like six months, it's out of hand.
So because they don't drink coffee, they can put it in their ass.
Is that the loophole?
That's like Catholics with anal.
But what's the point?
Because then you don't drink it and God's not mad at you, but you put it in
your butt and
it's fine.
Yeah.
You get high?
No, you get like the same pickup.
You must get a buzz.
Yeah.
Starbucks.
It's like a Starbucks butt high.
Starbucks.
Yeah, yeah.
Welcome to Starbucks.
Bend over.
Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.
I've done wheatgrass animals.
What?
You put wheatgrass in your ass?
Dude, you don't know the story?
Wheatgrass ass.
When I was doing, when I was detoxing off of Vicodin and all my opiates and
then I, and
then Abby brought me to that wheatgrass farm.
I remember.
Yeah, for like a month.
Yeah.
And then I woke up one day, I was just like going through detox and I woke up
in the bathroom
with a fucking green juice all over the bathtub, bathroom, the floor with a
tube in my ass
and I was shaking.
I was trying to do my own wheatgrass enema.
You're doing your own.
Yeah, but they, but they have the, you know what I mean, the apparatus and all
the stuff
and they teach you how to do it.
But so this is a normal thing to put wheatgrass up there or this was your
solution?
Maybe I improvised.
I think it's yours.
Yeah.
I think I found a garden hose.
Right?
It just sounds like a bit.
Someone's like, you know what I did?
I made Bobby Lee put wheatgrass in his ass.
But look up wheatgrass enemas.
Yeah, it's a thing.
That's, I've never heard of that in my entire life.
Yeah.
Wheatgrass enema.
Yeah, it's, it's, yeah, it's a whole thing.
Benefits.
There's good benefits to it.
I'll tell you what, probably just as beneficial to drink it than to put it up
your butt.
Yeah, but I think it helps with colon cancer maybe.
Oh.
Let's loosen stool, obviously.
Yeah, let's stool green.
It does it green.
It does it green.
That's all it does.
It's like the river on St. Paddy's Day in Chicago.
Yeah.
This is not a new issue.
Thousands of years ago, people were taught how to purify the body with a live
raw vegan diet
and enemas.
So people have been doing this for a long time.
Yeah.
The ancient essence sect of Judaism understood that fasting and colon cleansing
helped clear
negativity and toxins out of the physical body so the mind could be quie