Name: Ari the GRINCH - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2022-01-26T00:00:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ari the GRINCH - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ari the GRINCH - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-26. Transcript available.

are you garbage you got a little excitement coming up you got a bat mitzvah
yeah I do tonight so the reason I wanted to save it for the pod and I wanted to
ask you yeah go for it what do you drop it oh what do you yeah yep okay so one
thing you should know is I was poor for a long time so I set the tone but you're
not now you got cash you got cash but I set the tone early for being the cool
uncle who doesn't do that kind of stuff that's what I did too hold on how we're
just changing that how many other nieces and nephews have been bar mitzvahed
about missing yet five ish really yeah yeah and they're nothing to shake a
stick at you got it you got to come correct it yeah when I go wedding for you
Catholics out yeah yeah you get sometimes it's thousands when I the first time
I
realized I was like oh I got a change is I was at one of their houses on Hanukkah
which is their Jewish Christmas and so it's like we're not the Gestapo we know
you know what Hanukkah is holy shit I don't know you guys know I've been to
plenty of
Shabbas dinners plenty oh oh yeah lights off here we go yeah and all the kids
just
stared at me like it's almost like dude I get it if you want to sense that you're
here every you're in the and you didn't bring anything I didn't think I didn't
consider it and that's what I was like hold on you showed up to Hanukkah empty
I didn't even consider she was like I'll come meet you guys and it just was
this
your sister yeah sister and her kids and the other sister yeah he's fucking
screwballs yeah it's guys he's how did you he's playing another game do you not
know what Hanukkah is I just what I just forgot about it I was living on mac
and
cheese for years I couldn't afford anything I get it now I get it already
gets it so what are you dropping today so now I like to give them specialists
my
first one I gave him a drone which was like nice that's pretty cool yeah
instead of a
couple hundred bucks like come on so then one of my brought to a Jets game
one I brought I got those like agent seats where you're like up front where
you can bang on the wall okay I brought one to a Caps Rangers game okay just in
front of DeStefano like real good so how do you how do you how do you tell them
that I just said I'm going to take your ranger game and then you pass by the
front entrance he goes no it's it's here I'm like we're going to a different
place and then I go in and you start going down and you're like where are we
you're
behind where they see all the fucking the Knicks like the marquee and we're
breaking it out and he's like what what is this
yeah damn dude taking him down and he was like oh my god one of his friends
were there take a picture of me from fucking the fucking wait you think boys
too no his boys was there I think he just happened to be there it was great up
in the
fucking nosebleeds like a bozo me and uncle Ari down on the floor baby it was
great it
was great but I dropped nothing on that yeah you're getting free you're getting
absolutely yes absolutely what this dude's cheap what he doesn't know won't
hurt him but hold on
I'll give you that though you don't do the move where you give them a card with
hey I'm
taking you a rangers game in it so the next one yes I said I'm gonna take you
he's a big
basketball fan I said I'm gonna take you to a basketball game however um I I'm
now persona
non grata at NBA games so oh yeah you take your nephew you do get the shit
kicked out of you
I gotta I gotta test it out first I gotta go to a next game on my own to see
what happens
hey kid you in the formula one at all yeah you ever been in the staple center
let's go my name's
still good over there I mean luckily the Knicks hates the Lakers so it's like I
got a chance but
I don't know yeah I gotta test it out myself first you could say that yeah
otherwise we're going
to a college basketball game I might have to get flipped up yeah you can't go
to just no
basketball games I think the basketball community is done with Mr. Javier I
wouldn't even walk by the
four street courts I've been with you when people like outside the cellar
people been like hey Ari and
you're like oh shit I don't know how this is gonna go anybody okay thank you
that's when you use your
Russmanese yeah I am getting a new crop of people running after me like like
younger black like 1920 who
didn't really grow up with Kobe Bryant so don't really give a shit and they're
just like Kobe Bryant
you're a guy you're the army's on I love it these young kids they don't give a
shit yeah they play by their own rules
uh I saw what that that same night outside the cellar some guy just gave you
like a huge bag of weed
remember oh yeah he was like yeah can you take a picture and just say you love
like Mr. Sticky's
you're like yeah I'll do that and he just gave you like a pillowcase full of
weed I had to walk
away with my friends he was like why are you walking away like they're kind of
squares let's just go
over here I'll do it I'll give you an ounce for a shout out I'm like I don't
know what a shout out
means but you had me announced he's literally got he's got a fucking bag of
fucking are you into
the Jets at all huh yeah so this one I'm taking on a camping trip whitewater rafting
that's pretty
cool hold on whitewater rafting that's expensive you're staying overnight and
stuff like that
did you win this on a game show or something like that did you I'll just I got
a tent we'll take her
it's not outward bound or something like yeah I'll leave her there like figure
it out scared straight
so that's how many days is that it'll be overnight overnight I'll pick her up
we'll go camp
set up camp where's it gonna be there's so many woods up here I don't know
somewhere up here yeah
I don't know too many whitewater rafting spots in New York yeah I'm not gonna
promise you the
whitewater rafting yeah I don't know well that's what enticed me the whitewater
otherwise you're
just sleeping I'm gonna one-upper if we find the rainy season what are you
gonna do but you know
just like a campfire it's more that's a good time just you and her yeah now are
they more
conservative like a shit like do they not do super cool shit all the time they're
more they're less
conservative than their other orthodox jewish friends like they will go on like
trips and then
people ask me like can orthodox Jews not go like to like Africa on like safari
like no they can't
they just don't they just hoard their money like China yeah well yeah why spend
it yeah um but no so
that but still it's like come on don't curse around my kids really yeah anytime
you give
aria rule he just but blatantly oh I play backgammon with one of them and I was
like fuck when he hit
like a double sixes and then and I was like email dad already cursed or
whatever and I'm like don't
don't fucking rat on me you fucking idiot also what kids are playing backgammon
what are you guys what
fuck shishbush shishbush what's that that's the way you call it the middle east
shishbush
that's fantastic I played a guy for cab fair once it was double or nothing he
was like it was a cabbie
yeah it was a cabbie where where where down in the village outside tel aviv and
he was like we went
we were talking about shishbush and he was like two players like yeah I'm good
and he goes tell you
what let's play for your cab fair and it was like my buddy was like can you win
like I mean it's by the
it's like 90% luck but yeah I can but he definitely plays so we'll see so it
was like if we lose we
don't have enough money for a hostel that night we're gonna sleep on the beach
Jesus and if we
win we take pocket that cab fair and get some beer did you win fuck yeah yeah I
like that betting
it all on black yeah more of a checkers man myself yeah burger place so no
envelope no cash no cash
but we're talking about a star-studded event I would assume what do you what
would you say your
sister's dropping on this uh on this way too much it's not one of those masters
great
no I don't think so 60 probably probably 40 to 60 jesus so it's not those
Madison Square Garden
ones you ever see those what yeah it's somebody rents out msg and then you have
to then some and
then if you get if you get where the fucking nets play you're like what the
fuck is this mom and dad
yeah that was like super sweet 16 got big when I was in like junior high and it
was like you know
fucking jermaine dupree or whoever would come to sing it yeah and then you get
like a lamborghini
like I wanted the fucking yellow one yeah exactly they're mad they're never
gonna be fine with
anything oh they're that's rich trash yeah oh yeah yeah yeah my community was
at a vfw I got like 200
bucks never saw a fucking dime that was that was big that was that was saying I
gotta I gotta I got
like 900 bucks and she gave me like 50 bucks of it and we went to like value
city or clover my mom
needed the money she was like well we were hemmed up I just found my bonds I
had like 15 grand we
were just talking about these and I was like are these good like yeah they
matured like 15 years
ago 20 years ago so did you cash them in fuck yes how much was it 15 it was a
lot yeah and then they
go up a little more above Jews do it right planning for the future man I
literally got one for 25 bucks
and I was like I waited like fucking 19 years to cash you tried to buy
cigarettes with it dude I
cashed it when I went to college I'm like well this will get me took me that
made me like a weekend
we had those too I never saw them I bought one for my nephew when he was a baby
but it seemed like a scam it's I'm gonna put this in my name it just so it
seemed like a real cheapo
way of like not giving them 50 bucks it's like I'm gonna invest in America and
say it's still
looking to be around and like it was a good investment 25 years ago now it's
like yeah get
in a bit or something yeah shout out the chain link that's what I'm in I don't
like that I don't
like that commie talk down here I'll tell you that right now USA yeah all right
gang this
is a family episode some questions we're gonna be answering your questions Ari
thank you so much for
saying with us