Name: Mark Normand: Porn Bunker - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2022-02-01T23:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mark Normand: Porn Bunker - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mark Normand: Porn Bunker - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-01. Transcript available.

Are you garbage?
By the way, I love the...
I got a porn story to tell that's the trashiest thing ever,
but I can tell you later.
No, fire away.
I've told this on a pod before, so I'm sorry,
but my friend, you mentioned seeing your friend's parents fucking in a Polaroid.
In a Polaroid.
They weren't fucking.
It was tasteful posing.
Yeah, you might have added some of that.
Oh, sorry.
Hey, you remember being a threesome with your nephew's parents?
So me and my friend used to skateboard.
We're all sweaty.
We run back upstairs.
My friend goes, I'm going to jump in the shower.
You know, we're hanging out in his room.
And so, you know, it's the 90s, so there's a stack of VHS tapes.
One of them says skate.
So we're like, ah, put on a skate video.
We put it in.
It goes, you know, it's all fuzzy.
The tracking.
Yeah.
And then it cuts to a bathroom closet door is like cutting off half the frame,
and it's his sister naked with the shower running,
about to get in the shower, and she's like looking at me or figuring it out.
Yeah, like trying to be sexy, feeling herself, touching it.
Oh, I'm listening.
Looking at her butt, you know, and we're just like,
what the fuck is going on?
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
And then we're just freaking out.
It's like half excited, half curious, half confused.
And then he comes out, you know, he's got the towel, like, hey, what's up?
Ah, and he like tackles the TV.
And we're like, what the fuck is that?
He's like, you don't understand.
She owed me money.
I had to bribe her.
And I just think he wanted to see a nude woman.
It was pre-internet.
And this is what he had.
Holy shit.
So he hit a fucking camera in the bathroom and, yeah, got some footage.
And we just happened to find it.
Christ.
Yeah.
He's dead now.
I can't.
Sister killed him.
But it's weird being a young boy.
And this is pre-porn, like, online.
It is.
It is.
I had.
That's fucking nuts.
I said, I think I've talked about this before.
My buddy, we were, like, looking for weed or something in his parents' room.
And, like, they let us.
He just, like, let us go through.
Oh, wow.
And we all did that, though.
I know.
Totally.
We ransacked everybody's parents' bedroom at one point.
That's what I've never.
It was, like, everybody.
It was, like, getting in the mob.
Everybody had to do it.
You couldn't hold out.
Yeah.
Totally.
Not at my place.
Oh, really?
No.
My dad had, like, money hidden and shit.
Yeah.
What do you think we were looking for?
But we went.
We were looking for weed.
And, like, I guess you were also looking for whatever.
You were hoping for something weird and kinky or whatever.
And my buddy, not the kid whose house it was, another friend, the third party,
pulled
a plastic bag out from under the bed.
It was, like, whips and chains.
Oh, wow.
A ball gag and shit.
And, like, he, like, picked up a dildo.
It was, like, look at this.
And my buddy's, like, put that down.
I was, like, whoa.
This was fucking embarrassing, dude.
Yeah.
Whenever you find that stuff, you always.
The first thing you do is you have to smell it.
Oh, yeah.
You find a dildo.
You got to figure it out.
Yeah.
That was, to find the panties, you got to smell.
There's always a smell thing.
Little boys, fucking teenage boys are fucking third parties, man.
I think I might have even.
I think I told you this.
My buddy's dad owned, like, three independent movie rental companies.
Oh, wow.
Video or whatever, you know.
Yeah, yeah.
And then Blockbuster came in, shut them down.
Yeah.
And he sold all the movies, but kept all the porn.
Oh, yeah.
So we didn't know.
And we were down in the basement.
And it was just boxes.
Like, fucking floor to ceiling.
But you haul boxes.
Oh, my God.
Did you imagine?
But we didn't know it was porn.
Oh.
These were just, dude, the whole basement.
Like, floor to ceiling.
Like, thousands, tens of thousands of tapes.
So we're sitting in there and, like, it was, like, out of a movie.
It was, like, Goonies.
We were, like, wrestling and, like, fell onto the box.
And it opened up.
And we're, like, dude, there's all fucking porn in here.
Anal astronauts.
What the fuck?
He's, like, these are all porn.
Oh, wow.
And we were, like, so we were, like.
You go into the speech.
Up there is their time, man.
Down here.
Down here is our time, man.
Now I'm watching all these pornos and beat off.
It was Gazongas 3 was the first one we caught.
Gazongas 3.
Shout out to my bully, Paul, who had the balls to take it.
Gazongas 3.
You jerked off so many times, you're, like, hey, you guys.
Oh, wow.
The Fratelli Brothers.
Shout out to Goonies.
What a fucking movie.
What a flick.
We had one.
We had one that passed around.
And I can, I remember the dialogue.
I said, I'm telling you right now, those tapes are from my house.
And one of them is Police Academy.
The original police that has a crazy, crazy boob scene at a bonfire.
I don't remember that.
In the middle of it.
Really?
Was that the 80s or 90s?
It was the 80s.
Dude, 80s boob scenes.
Oh, my God.
The chicks would just come out of, we just cut to this.
Oh, yeah.
With chicks with the big banana boobs.
Yeah.
And they had the tan lines from the bikinis.
Oh, boy.
Pull it up.
The 80s, because porn is so easy to get now.
It's on your phone.
I got to get off.
I got to get away from it.
Same.
It's too much.
You got to get off.
But yeah, it's funny because when you see those, it's almost like when you have
a song on your
tripod or whatever, it's fine.
But when you see, when it comes on the radio in your car, it's exciting.
And it's the same with old boobs.
You know, when they come on spontaneously, like, oh, shit, old boob.
But you would never look up boobs.
Sure.
You never go boobs.
Yeah.
But when you see one, when you see one kind of in the wild, it's a little more
unexpected.
You know what I mean?
Exactly.
Yeah.
And kids today, they'll never have that.
And it's funny you related that to the song, because I used to be like that,
like a song
would play.
I'd be like, oh, my God, I love that song.
Wouldn't know the name.
Wouldn't know who it was.
Would be like spend months trying to figure out what it was.
Yes.
Then it would come on again.
You'd be like, oh, my God, this is it.
Totally.
And now it's just like, you know, fucking Pandora, whatever you want to hear.
It's fucking crazy.
You can type in like three lyrics and you'll find it.
Yeah.
Good stuff.
Good old days.
The good old days, gang.
Do you think people did this back because technology is obviously changing at a
rapid rate?
But do you think back when it was changing slower, they were older guys when
like the phonograph
came out or like, oh, remember we had to learn to play the banjo?
Now you guys can do this, this, and this.
These guys and their fancy FM radio.
Yeah.
We had to paint guys.
Now you can just take a flash photography.
When I was a kid, I'm sure it's human nature.
I used to think about that in the 80s, like even like the little access we had
to like
pornography and stuff like that.
I still would like think back to like my dad's generation and be like, man,
that must have
fucking sucked.
Yeah.
To watch a stag film, you had to get a 16 millimeter.
Real projector.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That must.
And it was probably terrible.
Of course.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
They're not taking care of themselves like they are.
No, no.
It's also weird to think about.
And I'm sorry.
We're riffing and wrapping.
No, baby.
Okay.
But think about like.
We're riffing and wrapping.
We're riffing and wrapping.
We're riffing and wrapping.
We're riffing and wrapping.
We're riffing and wrapping.
We're riffing and wrapping.