Name: Tim Dillon: School Lunch - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2022-03-08T23:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Dillon: School Lunch - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Dillon: School Lunch - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-08. Transcript available.

are you garbage every diet that was pitched in the 90s was like you can have it
all just be
accountable yeah yeah if you eat that raw cookie dough just have water later in
the day it all
balances out snack wall cookies were a big fucking remember snack balls they
were like don't deprive
yourself yeah i'm like that's not what we need to hear we've never deprived
ourselves never
never even thought about it yeah like my mother like we talk about this on my
show
they all did this thing called deal a meal where you give yourself cards and
then you'd go oh i get
a cheat card and then there was stop the insanity this this lesbo susan powder
with shaved head and
she'd be like just eat whatever just do this and so like my fat mother and her
friends would do this
in the living room and then there was richard simmons and then there was jenny
jenny craig
nutrisystem short the slim fast slim fast curves thigh master shake weight high
bone the whole nine
yards all of that slim fast was fucking all right i still like a slim fast i
used to i didn't know i
used to have them with meals i thought they were chocolate milk i used to sit
there with a bag of
so good and slim fast they're not bad no they're all right that chocolate one's
good what were the
snacks when you were a kid what would your mom get what would you have what was
your lunches like
free reign of it so what i love i'm a big sandwich guy i love like a uh ham and
cheese turkey cheese
peanut butter and jelly i love it i love a cold sandwich white bread we're
talking white bread
mayonnaise uh cold sandwich like kept in the refrigerator from the night before
i kind of
liked that uh but i was a big school lunch guy fish sticks tater tots or canned
string beans um
pizza day on friday pizza day was awesome was amazing i love hot dog day franks
and beans were
great and i went to a high school they had chicken parm meatball what chicken
parms at your high
school my high school go to an olive garden we had a great food i would go back
to that high school
today um i think it's illegal but i would because their their meatball parm
their chicken parm damn
their uh bacon cheeseburgers were amazing barbecue chicken sandwich really good
but snacks growing up
me and my friend were little stoners our favorite food ever was barbecue
chicken pizza and it just
debuted and the barbecue chicken pizza we were a test market i remember when
that came out the barbecue
chicken pizza was at this restaurant called jack's which later got shut down
for selling cocaine
they would sell they make the best food though when you ordered a white we had
munchies when you
ordered a white pie it was blow literally and we're selling cocaine but we
would also go we'd also
i also want a white pie we want them let me get two white pies we're starving
um but the thing with
the barbecue chicken pizza was just a regular pizza and they would take bread
and chicken cutlets chop
them up and throw them in this now i don't know if you've ever had open pit
barbecue sauce now open
pit i'm going to teach you a lesson of trash open pit is and people can google
it it is a tangy metallic
tasting reddish brown it is the sauce that they serve at most bars with steak
tidbits or with things
like that it's that kind of you eat it it's like tang it's really it gets you
in here it gets you in
there it's a real most people just don't love it i've gotten addicted to it now
if you heat it up it
becomes like yeah this chemical and what they would do is just throw these
chicken cutlets they toss it
with this open pit which i've become addicted to and just throw it on the
regular pizza and then hit
it with another layer of mozzarella so you get this regular slice of pizza
sausage cheese on top of
that just barbecue chicken energy and you were just killing it so we would love
that that was a big
thing for us i just want to go on record real quick and say this is the
greatest episode ever right now
i am rock hard as we speak when you said they hit it with another layer of
mozzarella my eyes
rolled back in my head we loved when we would get hucks we get high and we
would love uh the
original grilled stuffed burrito at taco bell the original which had the creamy
pepper jacks
remember the original i've tweeted at them the original menu at taco bell was
top shelf bring back the
grill sabrina and then the original monterey ranch chicken sandwich at wendy's
he's lighting up when he's talking about the bacon in the ranch chopped up
bacon in the ranch it was in
a gold wrapper fuck you you know exactly what i'm talking about it was a that's
what they tried to
class chicken patty monterey whatever thing cheese monterey jack monterey jack
if it wasn't um and
monterey jack cheese lettuce tomato bacon and then ranch with bacon in it it
was yeah it was something
else those were the things i remember growing up obviously i loved mcdonald's
fillet of fishes
i loved the roy rogers fixin bar i loved a pizza enough love a pizza hut lunch
buffet oh come on
going to one of them lunch all the right things they were like 395 or something
it was so cheap four
dollars and you could eat for the week and then they had a dessert pizza a
little caramel apple dessert
i mean christ what was the going out to dinner situation for the dillons as a
kid what would
be a well so my uncle was a big restaurant guy so every now and then we'd get
to go to one of
that where you get it in the city yeah that's what's so interesting about you
you're from that but
you have i have some very very refined talent i have some high-end taste
because my uncle's a big
restaurant guy so we used to get to go we used to get to go to restaurants and
eat really nice food
every now and then would it be known that it's we're going out with uncle oh
yeah and where the parents
go or he would take you parents would you ever parents we'd all go the family
sure but everybody
knew he was paying oh yeah everyone knew that they didn't have to pay i thought
they were going
but then so big night out for us would be like you know maybe my parents hated
each other so it was
rare that they'd both go out but when they both go out it would be to some
local diner or a place
called itkins and valley stream which was like an old you know like an old like
malt shop an old
ice cream great ice cream socket to me sundae 15 scoops a lot of people yeah oh
you're sharing
everything but but the kitchen sink sundae yeah 15 scoops um a little bacon
ranch on there yeah it was
wild they would go to usually would be a diner or maybe a little greek place or
a diner or a place
called mcquade's like a birthday dinner graduation dinner uh what are we
thinking maybe an italian
spot okay any chains applebee's olive fridays oh so we grew up with fridays and
outback a little
towards the outback came in later fridays was a go-to the tostado nachos where
you split a taco
shell down the middle hit it with refried the cheese um that's sam fridays when
they brought
out the jack daniels pulled pork sandwich it changed my life i'm yeah i get it
the jack daniels menu
that was your 911 yeah you're not kidding every week the jack daniels menu at
fridays made me know
what was possible you know there's life outside of long island yeah in a way
that i couldn't
understand i was like why yeah is this so good you want to hear an order this
is my order of fridays
you want to get i'd go in there i was an adult or as a kid as a child jesus
this is what i used to do
listen honey get your pad and paper and get over here tostado nachos
salad with because i love the friday salad because they loaded it with cheese
croutons
and then you get the breadsticks salad with ranch tostado nachos salad with
ranch pulled pork
sandwich that comes with french fries add on to that the loaded baked potato
now the loaded baked
potatoes what little kids get a loaded baked potato how's the divorce going a
smart holy
shit a smart one because here's what i would do i would get the extra jack daniels
sauce and it would
go right into the potato and then like you have this loaded baked potato with
jack daniels sauce
it's still every now and then if i'm on the road i'll go into fridays get a
loaded mash
throw some jack daniels sauce on there and eat it what are your parents saying
when you're when
you're making this order they're kind of just fine with it