Name: STAVROS HALKIAS v. ARE YOU GARBAGE - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2022-05-31T16:00:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'STAVROS HALKIAS v. ARE YOU GARBAGE - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'STAVROS HALKIAS v. ARE YOU GARBAGE - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-31. Transcript available.

Are you garbage?
Well, I'm happy to be here.
I would like for the record to state that you guys have had a lot of big names.
I'm thrilled.
You're a big name.
What are you talking about?
But, you know, we're friends.
You know what I mean?
Sure, sure.
I'd like for the record that I did this podcast when I was sure it would fail.
I'm returning now that it is a success and I'm very happy for you.
But I remember getting the email and being like, all right, those are funny
guys.
I'll do it for them.
It was early, too.
It was early.
Solid pandemic.
It was in the middle of the pandemic.
A couple of months into the pod.
Yeah, I was like, this is good.
One last attempt and then maybe if I'm at Helium, they can feature for me.
You know, that's kind of how I approached it.
And I'm very happy to see you guys thriving.
I love it.
It hurts because it's true, man.
Thanks, buddy.
It hurts because it's true, dude.
Well, I can say that's the fact that you know the truth.
Of course.
Means things are going well.
We're on the other side of it.
Exactly.
We've made it through the tunnel.
We're on the other side.
That's patreon.com.
Keep hitting that Patreon.
Take one more swing, baby.
That's what it's all about.
I mean, we might have been doing 2,000 people when you did it early.
I don't even think you had a shirt on when we did it.
We did it via Zoom and I'm pretty sure you were to offer.
I forgot about it.
I got a text, a frantic text.
I was like, oh, yeah, my internet's fucked.
Let me plug the router in.
I wasn't napping.
Me and Paul, you're sitting there with the mics and the cans on.
I'm like, the Zoom's recording.
I'm like, have you heard from it?
Nothing?
Nothing?
But I'm happy to be back.
The studio is fucking sick.
It looks awesome.
I remember your camera turned on.
You were brushing your teeth or something like that.
What's going on, boys?
Good to see you.
I was also losing my mind during the pandemic.
So it actually was nice to talk to someone and just do something different.
That was deep pandemic.
That was $400 grocery store orders.
That was fucking crushing fucking Breaking Bad.
That was knee deep in the pandemic.
That was the getting fat as hell.
Oh, man.
We'll never see civilization again part of the pandemic.
What a ride that was.
It was a fun time.
Man.
Fucking grocery store in the pandemic was all right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Congratulations on the special.
Thanks, dude.
Things have been going incredibly well.
I'm trying.
I'm working, yeah.
Before we get into the Patreon questions, we want to do a little follow-up here
with you.
It's been a while since you've been here.
Find out a couple of things.
Let's do it.
I know you have a slight bone to pick with me.
Oh, yes.
Regarding the...
Dug up some of my old tweets.
That's right.
Trying to get me canceled.
What one?
The Old Bay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We've got a lot.
I feel like that's me and Foley's relationship is he puts out a food take and I'm
like, I'll
execute you.
Yeah.
You're out of your mind.
Of course.
I have a machete.
I'm outside of your house.
Strawberry quick.
Strawberry quick.
I'll kill you.
You son of a bitch.
I think we also had a pizza disagreement.
Well, that's another one I want to talk about because...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
But I just want to...
Let's start.
I just want to...
Let's get it going.
I'm ready to fucking go.
Puts his hair in a ponytail.
I'm close, dude.
I'm close to the tail in the back here.
I want to clarify the old Bay comment, all right?
Because that's like sacred...
It is.
That's like angel dust where you come from.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Shrimp, crabs, okay.
But these bozos up here in Philly, they put it on fucking everything.
Okay.
French fries...
Crab fries are big where we call...
I love them.
You can't.
Do you love them?
Unimpeachable crab fries.
Are you out of your mind?
Really?
It's a fucking perfect...
It's...
Thank you.
What do you like?
A little bit of cheese on the side, man.
Fuck around with it.
A little...
Yeah, absolutely.
If you can recreate like a cream of crab soup...
This guy knows what I'm doing.
I'm on Team Stopping for now.
A little cream, a little cheese, a little Old Bay.
Get that...
Look, because listen, we want to...
It's like a chowder.
It's like a soup.
We want to liven up our fries.
How many...
Listen...
Let the fries live.
Who are we kidding?
We both shop at the same store, Foley.
Sure.
I've seen that shirt on the DXL rack.
All right?
Don't come at me pretending you don't want different variations of fries.
Thank you.
It's not like...
Just be honest, Foley.
It's not a fucking...
It's not a zero-sum game.
There's no need to bring DXL into this.
They're good people, Stopping.
Hey, I love them.
Don't hurt them over there.
Listen, I'm back in, unfortunately.
Nine months in a row of touring.
I had to dip my toes back into DXL.
Hey, Stopping, you're back.
So hard.
I've got a sandwich.
I'm eating the dressing room.
Tony, Stopping's here.
Man.
But that's my point.
It's like, give me every type of fry.
Yes.
Okay.
I want it out there.
I want it...
You don't want to have it every day, but you want the option.
If you're there, hey, you know what?
I've had the sweet potato fries.
I had the regular cheese fries.
Give me the Krabby's.
You like the Old Bay chips, too, I would assume, right?
Yeah.
What are they, hers?
That's a delicacy.
Someone's got...
Hers doesn't.
Yeah.
Uts is the...
Is that the silver bag one?
Uts is the golden bag.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's all right.
They're good.
They're very good.
They're very good.
I put Old Bay on pierogies.
I don't give a...
I'll do it on anything.
That's not a bad idea.
Shrimp, I think they shine, definitely.
It shines.
Shrimp and crab.
And then there's nothing better than...
Exactly.
Sucking off the fucking Old Bay off the...
Just sucking the crab leg.
Uh-huh.
Getting a little bit of the...
It's on your fingers.
Yeah, the finger.
You get a cut.
It's painful, but it's...
That's how you know you're alive.
I know.
Let you live a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where do you stand on Montreal steak seasoning?
Montreal...
Oh, okay.
Interesting.
Fan?
This is...
Only on cereal.
There's a reason this was a success.
For fucking idiots...
Yeah, all of our listeners look like you two, by the way.
For idiots like me, yeah.
This is...
These are the deep philosophical questions I want to have.
I don't want to talk, you know...
You put a lot of snifter?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Montreal seasoning is...
I would say it's an entryway.
It's a gateway into the larger seasoning world.
I think that is a little bit...
It is trash, by the way.
I remember when you were using salt and pepper, you bozo.
Yeah.
Salt and pepper, though, it's like...
I see where it can be elevated as well.
Montreal, your mind is being opened to...
You're dipping your toe in the water there.
And that's when you're like...
If you grew up trash, right?
And you want to escape, you throw a little Montreal steak seasoning on some
chicken.
I remember the first time I had Montreal chicken.
The first time I had it.
It blew my fucking hair back.
You think you're like, you know, it's like the way...
It's kind of like reading a New Yorker article when you live in fucking...
You know, in like trashy Philly or wherever the fuck, Baltimore.
It's a little mind-expanding.
It's like doing mushrooms for the first time.
Yeah, it's like, oh, you motherfuckers know nothing about Montreal seasoning.
I feel like...
And then you're in turmerics.
You're fucking around with gingers.
You know what I mean?
Some fresh ginger or something.
Some fucking five spice.
I think it's turmeric.
Did you say turmeric?
I think it's either one.
Turmeric?
Turmeric?
No, it's turmeric.
No way.
It's got to be turmeric.
T-Bone, help me out.
It's not turmeric.
Turmeric.
Turmeric.
A lot of people say turmeric, which is wrong.
That might be the most right one.
No, that's...
We need like an Indian guy.
We need somebody...
Truly, it's what we need.
Sure.
Let's get to the bottom of this.
What I'm saying is Montreal seasoning, that's the gateway.
Then you're having different seasonings.
It's right up the middle, yes.
From the Orient.
You get a little fresh Oregano.
I was always an Oregano guy being Greek, obviously.
The Orient.
But, you know, you're opening your mind up to different things.
Sure.
Silk Road type stuff.
It is, yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would say I'm definitely past the Montreal steak seasoning point in my life.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
That's over for me.
But it was a beautiful time.
It was.
It's like your college girlfriend.
I'm glad we didn't get married, but I wish her nothing but the best.
It taught me a lot of things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I learned a lot from those things.
Montreal seasoning was the first person to suck my dick.
That's what I'm trying to say.
The toe ring was hot, but I got to move on.
I feel like what happened was is that our dads or somebody went out to a
restaurant.
This is back in the day.
They had it, and then it filtered into the home.
See, I don't.
And then we got fed at one.
Interesting.
I remember it was in the spring.
Interesting.
My dad did some steaks on the grill.
We're like, what the fuck is on this?
He's like, Montreal steak.
It was on every single meal we had for the next.
At that point, it was only barbecue sauce is what you had.
Sure, sure.
That was.
It was like barbecue sauce up until like 96.
And then Montreal came on the scene.
The fact that we're having this discussion means we all grew up poor.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There wasn't a lot of money.
I'm thinking about my roommate who was a kid who grew up in the D.C. suburbs.
His dad was like a computer programmer.
He was having fucking ramen.
He was having sushi.
Real ramen.
Oh, real ramen.
I didn't have real ramen until like three fucking years ago.
I'm still a little scared of it.
Exactly, exactly.
Like he had that shit going.
So for him, that was never the case.
But yes, dry rubs.
Montreal seasoning was the first.
I mean, again, Greek people just like a little salt, pepper, oregano.
Montreal seasoning made me feel a little fucking, you know.
A little classy.
A little elevated, right?
But I wouldn't tie it to a restaurant.
I think it was just McCormick and Schmidt.
Yeah, that's just the thing.
It was there.
It was there.
We still have it.
My mom, like, she still throws down on it.
If they're firing up the grill, we might as well be in Montreal, baby.
Montreal's coming out.
In fact, I'm getting a little, I'm literally having a flashback of making steaks
on the grill
I put illegally on our balcony.