Name: The Uncle Beav Story w/ Shane Gillis & Mike Rainey - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2022-06-07T20:55:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Uncle Beav Story w/ Shane Gillis & Mike Rainey - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Uncle Beav Story w/ Shane Gillis & Mike Rainey - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-07. Transcript available.

Are you garbage?
What do you got, Kip?
Um, this is a pretty good one.
This is definitely Philly trash yet.
Do you have any aunts or uncles where you don't use their real name?
Example, Aunt Tootie.
I think you should ask if you have any that do use their real name.
Um, not only do I have...
Well, she died last week, my Aunt Biddy.
Rest in peace.
My Aunt Biddy.
Aunt Biddy?
Biddy?
You'll enjoy this as well, but when I was four,
she used to make me watch porn with her.
What the fuck?
Yep.
Aunt Biddy.
What she got on her SATs?
Is that the one who gave you five grand?
No, that was my Aunt Pat, who bought me porn.
What?
My Aunt Pat, who gave me the five grand.
Playboy used to send out these catalogs where you could buy softcore porn.
And when I became of Wackengage, I used to stay at my Aunt Pat's all the time,
and I think she was aware that I was of Wackengage.
So she's like, "Here, order one out of this book."
And I instantly knew what she meant.
So I ordered the Chameleon with Tori Wells.
And six weeks later, I got the Chameleon with Tori Wells,
and I was just fucking...
I learned how to jerk on that.
I couldn't even get a book out of that, like, book fair.
He couldn't get a Pizza Hut bucket ticket.
Schelastic person.
Dude, that's nuts.
This was Schelastic.
Why is everybody all porn in your family?
Yeah, what's that all about?
I don't know.
I don't know.
That's a fucking problem.
That's a very strange...
Yeah, that's definitely fucked you up.
That's like a real weird...
Would she look at it with you?
Polly's trying to get in.
And was she hot?
What's the deal?
Not my five grand aunt.
My fucking creep aunt.
One of my earliest memories was of being in bed with my creep aunt.
We were both naked.
And she's making me look at a Playgirl magazine and asking me what I thought of
it.
What?
What?
Can we be broadcasting this?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
We're technically in public right now.
Can we get gas digital legal in here to find out if this is okay?
Someone said Lewis in.
What the fuck?
I like the show.
It's like, are you garbage or classy?
You're like, well, I've been raped.
Yeah.
You know when your aunt touches your Peter?
I was sexually assaulted by a family member.
If that answers your question.
I'm asking you what you like.
Yeah, I don't know.
Like, what was your answer?
Go bots?
G.I. Joe?
Like, I don't know.
You got any Transformers?
Gummy bears and Care Bears.
Dude, and I'll never forget.
Like, in this, like, magazine, it was a dude who had his dick in a hot dog bun,
and he was
putting mustard on it.
So yeah, pretty funny.
Bully's chubbing up over there.
It's pretty hot to me.
Yeah.
So in hindsight, you know, pretty funny.
Was it a potato roll or just white bread?
What am I talking about here?
Dude, on the next page, he's got it loaded up into a hot dog gun.
Holy shit, dude.
That's fucked up.
Yeah.
Man.
And you don't talk to your family anymore?
Do you still see her?
She died last week.
Oh, shit.
Did you go to the funeral?
No, it was today.
No.
What?
Yeah, I swear to God.
Dude, I'll show you the obituary.
Aunt Betty's services are today?
Yeah, they were today.
She's fucking dead.
Shout out to Aunt Betty.
This one goes to Aunt Betty.
Oh, fucking Aunt Sandusky, dude.
She's dead.
She's out.
Yeah, I got news for you.
She ain't up in heaven.
I can tell you that.
Yeah.
Purgatory at best.
Purgatory.
I...
Come on, SNL.
Please take me back.
Purgatory.
That's a good piece of business.
I have a very kind heart.
So, I knew she was down on her luck at one point, so I lent her $300 to keep
her electric
on.
Damn.
She paid me when she got paid out from a slip and fall at Acme.
Dude.
What in the fuck did you grow up with?
Holy shit.
I feel like I need hand sanitizer after this fucking story.
Just like the fact that you have the lingo.
Somebody get me a moral light and stat.
What the fuck?
Just the lingo of like a, yeah, you know, a slip and fall.
Yeah.
That's not the first slip and fall in the rainy household either.
Alright, other than the statutory rape, were you a Lunchables kid growing up?
Or...
You don't strike me as a Capri Sun guy.
Yeah.
We didn't have Lunchables.
I mean, I grew up in the 80s.
Like, we just had like, bologna and liverwurst.
Oh.
Liverwurst.
Goddamn.
Bologna, I can say.
Did anybody out there eat liverwurst?
Yeah, they're under a fucking 95 right now.
You got your fucking carpet.
I got some on me.
Holy shit.
Was at least name brand was like Dietz and Watson liverwurst, or was it like
generic liverwurst?
The only time we got cool shit, I remember we got this...
What do you mean?
You were looking at porn when you were five.
That's fucking pretty cool shit.
Yeah.
Just keep the boar's egg.
Give me the fucking playboy.
You must have been a real fucking weirdo in school.
Yeah, I wonder why you had anxiety.
I'm actually stunned that I was not a school shooter.
Well, there's still time.
I've been pretty cool.
Taxi!
Actually, at work they have active shooter drills, and they actually want
people, somebody
to volunteer each time to do it.
You show up like Rambo.
Damn, somebody gets to be the shooter in the active shooter drill?
You're supposed to just like check knobs, but I'll go in and like run my dick
on pictures.
That fucking rules.
Yeah, that'd be pretty cool.
They should give the shooter like a paintball gun to really be like, you got
work on it.
Yeah.
You know, at the end be like, who got hit?
All right.
Hey, Hershowitz, you got a zigzag.
You can't just run.
You can't just be running straight down the hallway.
Cause Hershowitz, he's coming for you.
He wrote it down.
He said he was coming for you.
Every drill the same people get shot with.
Well, Mike has his favorites.
We can tell you that.
I always thought about that with school shooting drills.
It's like when you do school shooting drills, the school shooter is in the
school.
So he knows what you're going to do.
I would say, keep the weird kids out.
Tell them you're doing one thing.
And then when it actually happens, everybody goes the other way.
You got to set up some sort of like Venus flytrap for the autistic kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Be like, yo, there's a magic, the gathering card game going on in the cafeteria.
And then you have the school shooting talk.
Listen, I'm going to tell you guys probably the only funny thing you'll ever
hear about Sandy Hook.
No.
No.
Jesus Christ.
Oh God, don't do it.
Yeah.
I got Disney checks coming in.
Pull it back with that, will you?
Yeah.
On the state of Connecticut's website, you can read the entire report.
Who reads that fucking report?
You are a fucking, can we switch seats?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's been training, dude.
And he does jujitsu.
Yeah.
He's the only guy in his forties that gets cauliflower.
He's going to tap out a kindergarten.
But there's one aspect of the report where they're talking about how the
teachers had gotten the kids into bathrooms to try to keep them away.
It's like, look, you've got to fucking keep quiet.
It would be like ten kids in a bathroom.
And in one of the bathrooms, one of the kids kept getting chastised by the
teacher because he kept accidentally flushing the toilet.
Ah, was it motion censored?
No.
Oh, he was just doing it?
He kept touching it.
Yeah.
Just had to take a deuce.
What are you going to do?
You know what I mean?
Can I get some privacy in here, please?
School shootings, guys.
What the fuck?
Come on, everybody.
I'm working with what I got here.
What the fuck?
All right.
Let's switch gears.
What about the holidays?
What was Christmas like at the Rainy Household?
Let's shift gears.
I imagine you were a colored light family.
Well, we were colored lights.
Yeah.
But Christmas was punctuated.
The big event on Christmas was some dude.
I don't know who he was to this day.
I don't know.
But we had to call him Uncle Beave.
Well, we were colored lights.
Yeah.
But Christmas was punctuated.
The big event on Christmas was some dude.
I don't know who he was to this day.
I don't know.
But we had to call him Uncle Beave.
He would show up on Christmas Day and get hammered.
And this guy would show up on Christmas Day,
and he would show up on my birthday.
And he would only take me out and not my sister to get presents.
He would take me to Kitty City.
I could spend $30.
And then he would take me to a--
To Bledger Town?
To a--
Like, I don't have any memories of that,
but that would line up with what would be done.
Yeah, man.
Dude, are you taking out?
Are you buying your fucking toys?
Wait, do you think he--
Get all hopped up on McDonald's french fries?
You black out a little bit?
Shane, he would take me to a Howard Johnson's in the middle of nowhere.
What?
Oh, bro, you got raped by a guy.
Is that the--
Yeah, dude.
I think that's the only place Howard Johnson's are.
Every Christmas.
Dude, there's no rational explanation.
On Christmas, you got--
Christmas and your birthday, a guy would show up and rape you?
Holy shit, dude.
What the fuck?
What is happening?
Your parents let this happen?
Yeah, they were making $500 a trip.
It's fine.
Like I said, like, I have no recollection of anything bad happening.
True.
They got a check for five grand.
Yeah, they were like, whatever, dude.
We're getting game cast.
Thanks, Mike.
Taking one for the team on this one.
Wait, would you stay the night?
No, it would just be-- he would pick me up on my birthday.
We would go to Kitty City.
I would spend $30.
And then I can't remember where it was, but I remember going through, like,
hillsides to this Howard Johnson's.
And I would get-- I remember that the hot dog was split down the middle and
they would have a toasted bun.
I bet his hot dog was split down the middle.
Was there mustard on it?
Does that mean he was uncircumcised?
Dude, what-- have you talked to your parents about this at all?
Yeah, have you talked to a-- have you talked to the police about this?
What the fuck?
Yeah, Mike, this is-- I didn't know this.
Yeah, holy shit.
You said he was a good guy.
What the fuck, Dylan?
I thought this was going to be a fun, like, people out there crying in the
audience.
We got a fucking audience full of people here, dude.
I thought it was going to be a lot of, like, Percocet stories and instead it's--
Well, there's those, too.
Yeah, so much for asking you what your Wawa order is.
Yeah.
It's like beef.
I treat the whole squad to Kid Rock.
My parents treat the whole squad to me.
Yeah.
That's-- well, they'd rock the Kid.
Holy shit.
Man.
So finish the story.
So you'd go to the Howard Johnson's and what would you-- would you go to a room?
No, it was just-- it was a restaurant.
It wasn't like, um--
That's right.
Howard-- I tell you what, Howard Johnson's food was pretty good, to be honest
with you.
Yeah.
Well, like I said, nobody else getting on board with that?
Don't act like you guys haven't been raped in a Howard Johnson's.
Don't give me that shit.
Man, it is tough to follow, like, uh, I got raped as a kid stories.
I was gonna ask if he ever applied to work at Power Windows and Siding.
Local deep car.
Power Windows and Siding.
What about Thanksgiving?
Who would rape you on Thanksgiving?
Fucking old neighborhood had dibs on fucking Rainy.
Damn.
This kid was like a fucking advent calendar every fucking day of the month.
Another door opens and another closes behind him.
Dude, that's fucked up, man.
Yeah, I don't-- yeah.
Do you address that with your parents now?
Like, hey, by the way, who was the guy that you let fucking take me to the
Howard Johnson's
in the woods on my birthday?
That would be the first thing I would ask my parents when I got home.
I did.
I had a similar conversation with them about my aunt, and they were just-- they
just shut
it down right off the bat.
Yeah.
Yeah, they went, "Jopa.
That's the Jopa."
It's like, "That's junk.
I don't know what that is."
We don't even have showers.
What are you talking about?
You're lying.
Yeah, you're fucking lying.
You know these kids lying about getting raped all the time.
Jopa's like, "I don't have my glasses on, alright?"
I'm the Penn State.
So, yeah.
Wow, so a very sex-positive household.
Yeah, you were a kid.
I don't know if the term sex-positive is also, yeah.
Sex-negative.
Prognosis, Nick.
Yeah, I don't know.
We could lighten the mood with my addiction issues, if you guys want to switch
gears to
that.
So you were a cutie.
Yeah, that's the one thing we know.
Mike Rainey was a fucking tight piece of ass back in the day.
Yeah.
You were a cutie.
Yeah, no.
Don't mean to brag, but yeah.
That's nice.
Wow.
Yeah.
Bro.
Are you alright?
I'm just worried about everybody else.
Well, I think we're all worried about you.
What the fuck?
Hey.
And when did you start getting into the pills?
Uh, 2012, I had back surgery.
And, uh, that's the way it only works at.
Yeah, fucking Uncle B broke it.
Blew it the fuck out.
You got a little, you got a flipping ball against Howard Johnson if you want it.
Uncle B blew your back out and you got addicted to Purse.
Dude, Uncle B is the creepiest name ever.
Oh, man.
Holy shit.
Yeah, so 2012, I got addicted to Purse.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Holy shit.
Yeah, so 2012, I got addicted to Purse.
Yeah, so 2012, I got addicted to Purse.
Yeah, so 2012, I got addicted to Purse.
Holy shit.
Yeah, so 2012, I got addicted to Purse.

The Uncle Beav Story w/ Shane Gillis & Mike Rainey - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip

Are you garbage?
What do you got, Kip?
Um, this is a pretty good one.
This is definitely Philly trash yet.
Do you have any aunts or uncles where you don't use their real name?
Example, Aunt Tootie.
I think you should ask if you have any that do use their real name.
Um, not only do I have...
Well, she died last week, my Aunt Biddy.
Rest in peace.
My Aunt Biddy.
Aunt Biddy?
Biddy?
You'll enjoy this as well, but when I was four,
she used to make me watch porn with her.
What the fuck?
Yep.
Aunt Biddy.
What she got on her SATs?
Is that the one who gave you five grand?
No, that was my Aunt Pat, who bought me porn.
What?
My Aunt Pat, who gave me the five grand.
Playboy used to send out these catalogs where you could buy softcore porn.
And when I became of Wackengage, I used to stay at my Aunt Pat's all the time,
and I think she was aware that I was of Wackengage.
So she's like, "Here, order one out of this book."
And I instantly knew what she meant.
So I ordered the Chameleon with Tori Wells.
And six weeks later, I got the Chameleon with Tori Wells,
and I was just fucking...
I learned how to jerk on that.
I couldn't even get a book out of that, like, book fair.
He couldn't get a Pizza Hut bucket ticket.
Schelastic person.
Dude, that's nuts.
This was Schelastic.
Why is everybody all porn in your family?
Yeah, what's that all about?
I don't know.
I don't know.
That's a fucking problem.
That's a very strange...
Yeah, that's definitely fucked you up.
That's like a real weird...
Would she look at it with you?
Polly's trying to get in.
And was she hot?
What's the deal?
Not my five grand aunt.
My fucking creep aunt.
One of my earliest memories was of being in bed with my creep aunt.
We were both naked.
And she's making me look at a Playgirl magazine and asking me what I thought of
it.
What?
What?
Can we be broadcasting this?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
We're technically in public right now.
Can we get gas digital legal in here to find out if this is okay?
Someone said Lewis in.
What the fuck?
I like the show.
It's like, are you garbage or classy?
You're like, well, I've been raped.
Yeah.
You know when your aunt touches your Peter?
I was sexually assaulted by a family member.
If that answers your question.
I'm asking you what you like.
Yeah, I don't know.
Like, what was your answer?
Go bots?
G.I. Joe?
Like, I don't know.
You got any Transformers?
Gummy bears and Care Bears.
Dude, and I'll never forget.
Like, in this, like, magazine, it was a dude who had his dick in a hot dog bun,
and he was
putting mustard on it.
So yeah, pretty funny.
Bully's chubbing up over there.
It's pretty hot to me.
Yeah.
So in hindsight, you know, pretty funny.
Was it a potato roll or just white bread?
What am I talking about here?
Dude, on the next page, he's got it loaded up into a hot dog gun.
Holy shit, dude.
That's fucked up.
Yeah.
Man.
And you don't talk to your family anymore?
Do you still see her?
She died last week.
Oh, shit.
Did you go to the funeral?
No, it was today.
No.
What?
Yeah, I swear to God.
Dude, I'll show you the obituary.
Aunt Betty's services are today?
Yeah, they were today.
She's fucking dead.
Shout out to Aunt Betty.
This one goes to Aunt Betty.
Oh, fucking Aunt Sandusky, dude.
She's dead.
She's out.
Yeah, I got news for you.
She ain't up in heaven.
I can tell you that.
Yeah.
Purgatory at best.
Purgatory.
I...
Come on, SNL.
Please take me back.
Purgatory.
That's a good piece of business.
I have a very kind heart.
So, I knew she was down on her luck at one point, so I lent her $300 to keep
her electric
on.
Damn.
She paid me when she got paid out from a slip and fall at Acme.
Dude.
What in the fuck did you grow up with?
Holy shit.
I feel like I need hand sanitizer after this fucking story.
Just like the fact that you have the lingo.
Somebody get me a moral light and stat.
What the fuck?
Just the lingo of like a, yeah, you know, a slip and fall.
Yeah.
That's not the first slip and fall in the rainy household either.
Alright, other than the statutory rape, were you a Lunchables kid growing up?
Or...
You don't strike me as a Capri Sun guy.
Yeah.
We didn't have Lunchables.
I mean, I grew up in the 80s.
Like, we just had like, bologna and liverwurst.
Oh.
Liverwurst.
Goddamn.
Bologna, I can say.
Did anybody out there eat liverwurst?
Yeah, they're under a fucking 95 right now.
You got your fucking carpet.
I got some on me.
Holy shit.
Was at least name brand was like Dietz and Watson liverwurst, or was it like
generic liverwurst?
The only time we got cool shit, I remember we got this...
What do you mean?
You were looking at porn when you were five.
That's fucking pretty cool shit.
Yeah.
Just keep the boar's egg.
Give me the fucking playboy.
You must have been a real fucking weirdo in school.
Yeah, I wonder why you had anxiety.
I'm actually stunned that I was not a school shooter.
Well, there's still time.
I've been pretty cool.
Taxi!
Actually, at work they have active shooter drills, and they actually want
people, somebody
to volunteer each time to do it.
You show up like Rambo.
Damn, somebody gets to be the shooter in the active shooter drill?
You're supposed to just like check knobs, but I'll go in and like run my dick
on pictures.
That fucking rules.
Yeah, that'd be pretty cool.
They should give the shooter like a paintball gun to really be like, you got
work on it.
Yeah.
You know, at the end be like, who got hit?
All right.
Hey, Hershowitz, you got a zigzag.
You can't just run.
You can't just be running straight down the hallway.
Cause Hershowitz, he's coming for you.
He wrote it down.
He said he was coming for you.
Every drill the same people get shot with.
Well, Mike has his favorites.
We can tell you that.
I always thought about that with school shooting drills.
It's like when you do school shooting drills, the school shooter is in the
school.
So he knows what you're going to do.
I would say, keep the weird kids out.
Tell them you're doing one thing.
And then when it actually happens, everybody goes the other way.
You got to set up some sort of like Venus flytrap for the autistic kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Be like, yo, there's a magic, the gathering card game going on in the cafeteria.
And then you have the school shooting talk.
Listen, I'm going to tell you guys probably the only funny thing you'll ever
hear about Sandy Hook.
No.
No.
Jesus Christ.
Oh God, don't do it.
Yeah.
I got Disney checks coming in.
Pull it back with that, will you?
Yeah.
On the state of Connecticut's website, you can read the entire report.
Who reads that fucking report?
You are a fucking, can we switch seats?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's been training, dude.
And he does jujitsu.
Yeah.
He's the only guy in his forties that gets cauliflower.
He's going to tap out a kindergarten.
But there's one aspect of the report where they're talking about how the
teachers had gotten the kids into bathrooms to try to keep them away.
It's like, look, you've got to fucking keep quiet.
It would be like ten kids in a bathroom.
And in one of the bathrooms, one of the kids kept getting chastised by the
teacher because he kept accidentally flushing the toilet.
Ah, was it motion censored?
No.
Oh, he was just doing it?
He kept touching it.
Yeah.
Just had to take a deuce.
What are you going to do?
You know what I mean?
Can I get some privacy in here, please?
School shootings, guys.
What the fuck?
Come on, everybody.
I'm working with what I got here.
What the fuck?
All right.
Let's switch gears.
What about the holidays?
What was Christmas like at the Rainy Household?
Let's shift gears.
I imagine you were a colored light family.
Well, we were colored lights.
Yeah.
But Christmas was punctuated.
The big event on Christmas was some dude.
I don't know who he was to this day.
I don't know.
But we had to call him Uncle Beave.
Well, we were colored lights.
Yeah.
But Christmas was punctuated.
The big event on Christmas was some dude.
I don't know who he was to this day.
I don't know.
But we had to call him Uncle Beave.
He would show up on Christmas Day and get hammered.
And this guy would show up on Christmas Day,
and he would show up on my birthday.
And he would only take me out and not my sister to get presents.
He would take me to Kitty City.
I could spend $30.
And then he would take me to a--
To Bledger Town?
To a--
Like, I don't have any memories of that,
but that would line up with what would be done.
Yeah, man.
Dude, are you taking out?
Are you buying your fucking toys?
Wait, do you think he--
Get all hopped up on McDonald's french fries?
You black out a little bit?
Shane, he would take me to a Howard Johnson's in the middle of nowhere.
What?
Oh, bro, you got raped by a guy.
Is that the--
Yeah, dude.
I think that's the only place Howard Johnson's are.
Every Christmas.
Dude, there's no rational explanation.
On Christmas, you got--
Christmas and your birthday, a guy would show up and rape you?
Holy shit, dude.
What the fuck?
What is happening?
Your parents let this happen?
Yeah, they were making $500 a trip.
It's fine.
Like I said, like, I have no recollection of anything bad happening.
True.
They got a check for five grand.
Yeah, they were like, whatever, dude.
We're getting game cast.
Thanks, Mike.
Taking one for the team on this one.
Wait, would you stay the night?
No, it would just be-- he would pick me up on my birthday.
We would go to Kitty City.
I would spend $30.
And then I can't remember where it was, but I remember going through, like,
hillsides to this Howard Johnson's.
And I would get-- I remember that the hot dog was split down the middle and
they would have a toasted bun.
I bet his hot dog was split down the middle.
Was there mustard on it?
Does that mean he was uncircumcised?
Dude, what-- have you talked to your parents about this at all?
Yeah, have you talked to a-- have you talked to the police about this?
What the fuck?
Yeah, Mike, this is-- I didn't know this.
Yeah, holy shit.
You said he was a good guy.
What the fuck, Dylan?
I thought this was going to be a fun, like, people out there crying in the
audience.
We got a fucking audience full of people here, dude.
I thought it was going to be a lot of, like, Percocet stories and instead it's--
Well, there's those, too.
Yeah, so much for asking you what your Wawa order is.
Yeah.
It's like beef.
I treat the whole squad to Kid Rock.
My parents treat the whole squad to me.
Yeah.
That's-- well, they'd rock the Kid.
Holy shit.
Man.
So finish the story.
So you'd go to the Howard Johnson's and what would you-- would you go to a room?
No, it was just-- it was a restaurant.
It wasn't like, um--
That's right.
Howard-- I tell you what, Howard Johnson's food was pretty good, to be honest
with you.
Yeah.
Well, like I said, nobody else getting on board with that?
Don't act like you guys haven't been raped in a Howard Johnson's.
Don't give me that shit.
Man, it is tough to follow, like, uh, I got raped as a kid stories.
I was gonna ask if he ever applied to work at Power Windows and Siding.
Local deep car.
Power Windows and Siding.
What about Thanksgiving?
Who would rape you on Thanksgiving?
Fucking old neighborhood had dibs on fucking Rainy.
Damn.
This kid was like a fucking advent calendar every fucking day of the month.
Another door opens and another closes behind him.
Dude, that's fucked up, man.
Yeah, I don't-- yeah.
Do you address that with your parents now?
Like, hey, by the way, who was the guy that you let fucking take me to the
Howard Johnson's
in the woods on my birthday?
That would be the first thing I would ask my parents when I got home.
I did.
I had a similar conversation with them about my aunt, and they were just-- they
just shut
it down right off the bat.
Yeah.
Yeah, they went, "Jopa.
That's the Jopa."
It's like, "That's junk.
I don't know what that is."
We don't even have showers.
What are you talking about?
You're lying.
Yeah, you're fucking lying.
You know these kids lying about getting raped all the time.
Jopa's like, "I don't have my glasses on, alright?"
I'm the Penn State.
So, yeah.