Name: Boy Genius w/ David Lucas - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2022-07-29T21:04:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Boy Genius w/ David Lucas - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Boy Genius w/ David Lucas - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-29. Transcript available.

are you garbage but it was kind of hard man because like my grandparents lived
in a very
affluent neighborhood all right it was so weird like growing up affluent these
are her parents
your mom's parents right so they did well right right my granddaddy did well uh
my grandmama
didn't work my great was just a hard worker who saved a lot of money and granddaddy
that's old
school yeah that's southern shit my granddaddy was a hard worker yeah he was a
hard worker he uh
it's not like a blues song he ended up buying a few rental properties all right
like that so what
did he do for a living was he just like he worked at a um what do you call i
guess it's like a textile
plant okay so they made like the little white squares you see in office
buildings oh the tiles
okay it was a company called armstrong he worked there for a very long time he
would go to work
like and my granddaddy was not a motherfucker to be with bro like he was almost
like he was semi-evil
bro like for real like it it was good and bad make the tiles just a little bit
smaller so they fall
but it was good and bad um you know living in my grandparent's household yeah
very strict man like
i was in church three four times a week uh he made me like i couldn't dress
wear like flash at the
church it was like straight white button up black slacks black shoes type thing
um i remember i used to
uh exclusively date white girls in elementary and middle because of where i
lived and white girls
gonna get you hung like it's like we was in the 60s but here's the thing he
married my grandmother
who's half white like my granddaddy was very racist towards white people but he
married a half white
lady damn half white i guess there you go that's how he gets in there he had
eight kids man um you know
my granddaddy bro he was he was he there was no reasoning with him uh it was
even this guy sounds
awesome you have to do chores and shit around the house man bro i was pretty
much just bro like it
wasn't it wasn't chores bro like i remember when i turned like 15 16 and i was
able to drive and get
a job it was better to get a job than to do the yeah because he had rental
properties
and he and i remember at one time he had like five of them in a row and he
would drop me off with a
gallon of water and tell me i'll be back in three hours and all this grass
better be cut and pick up all
the paper no lawnmower what do you do no i had a lawnmower i had a i had a lawnmower
but it was
like that so i'm like god and then he gave me something like ten dollars you
know i don't work
three hours i get ten dollars i'm a smart business man i had no cell phone this
was you know the 2000s
you know it was like 2000 bro 2001 i had the grass in a suit in in the hood and
this these were like
hood areas these were not like the suburbs it wasn't the suburbs at all these
were he owned rental
properties in the hood and he dropped me off with a gallon of water and a lawnmower
and say i'll be
back in three hours there was no if i finished early there was no calling him
because he didn't have a
cell phone so he come back whenever the hell he felt like yeah can't have
people tracking him you know
what i mean he's out there making yeah bro like that's my great daddy bro like
i like the only the
only memories i really have of him like he died like two three years ago and me
and him we had a very
like i guess you can call like a little precarious relationship yeah what do
you mean yeah because
when i got dropping you up in the middle of nowhere man come on man bottle of
poland spring but um
yeah like you know like bro he was like the memories i have of him is like him
like beating my ass you
know what i'm saying okay like a lot of kids from the south got sure yeah shit
i don't know if y'all got
people oh yeah i got the shit kicked i didn't too bad i deserved it every time
too no hard feelings
that shit beat out of me man you know um and yeah bro he smoked cigars have a
tampa jewel i still
remember him bro uh yeah and uh i played a lot of sports growing up uh mainly
grew up around my
grandparents my mom worked a lot right uh was the family where was your mom's
brothers and sisters
around the same area um so we lived in uh what was called north macon and my
great grandmother zania
walton who was my grandfather's mom uh allocated property to all of us because
her daddy was like
she was a native american and her daddy was black and white so her daddy was a
big time businessman
he brought a whole bunch of property that he left to her and then she left like
i have property in
georgia now damn it's doing all right she's all they're a fucking landowner i
know
so uh my family like there's an episode on my youtube where i took burt chrysher
to macon when
we did the tour and uh like my whole family lives on one private drive private
private yeah because
otherwise that's trash everybody just bought houses next to each other yeah
damn all right like the
rockefellers down there yeah i mean you know like it's it's it's middle class
georgia living which
doesn't take a lot of money to achieve you know what i'm saying like you could
be middle class in
georgia making 40k a year like you like you can still go get a two-bedroom
apartment in macon georgia
right now for 1200 in a good neighborhood you know so it you can go get a nice
house down there for
280 000 so it doesn't when i go to macon bro i feel like i'm jason like yeah i
go there
i take i take my family out to eat every day every i take the applebee's again
i'm talking about like
10 people bro i take about like oh i got everybody like free refills for
everybody let's go for real
what i'm flexing a family dinner i'm just saying like i live in la man you know
and me and my kids
eat is 100 you know so it's like i go home we can go to fucking fajitas which
is my favorite mexican
restaurant i can feed eight people for 130 and that's with drinks
that's bottomless margaritas my dude has come out sizzling holy but i play i
played sports growing
up um uh my mom so like in my earlier years i didn't see too much of my mom
because she just worked
way too hard you know what i'm saying to try to provide for me to have a good
life this is when you
guys were on your own no i'm already at your grandparents yeah i live yeah i
live like i
don't really remember living alone my mom because we moved in you were yeah you're
always with your
right as far as you remember right so i i um so even though your mom lived with
your with her parents
she was still out there busting her ass yes and so she had a house you know
what i'm saying so like
the age of when i was like five my grandmother had a stroke and an aneurysm so
my mom moved in
exclusively with my grandparents but i was always at my grandparents house to
go to the better school
you know what i mean oh so your mom lived in a different house right so you
were oh it was just
you and your granddad yeah yeah oh you wasn't even the buffer of your mom nah
god damn that's like
shawshank jesus christ so like i have like a very few memories like my mom if
she had a day off she
picked me up and we like go to her house but it was in the hood so i'd be like
man i'm gonna go back
to my grandparents you're there cutting the grass and shit i'd be like i'm
ready to go back to grubba
like where's the center air conditioning what's going on in there so that
probably made her like sad man
like like my mom like now i say at my age now we have a better relationship
than when i was a teenager
sure just because she worked so much she missed yeah my mom uh missed me
winning uh the state
championship and wrestling nice she missed me uh winning uh the the state
championship and football
all because she was working so hard okay but my granddaddy did start coming to
those things so when i
got like i say like 15 and people started noticing i was good in sports like
there was like a paradigm
shift like in my family because like before that i felt like the black sheep
sure i was the the one
kid who whose daddy was not around you know what i'm saying so the rest of my
cousins had you know
the dual parents the mom and the dad they had that dynamic of their
relationship so i was the one
who uh would get shitted on a lot you know like i'd be the butt of something so
if me and my other
cousins are doing something it's his fault you know what i mean it's his fault
so you started throwing
fireman's carries and dropping yeah throwing people in full nelson's so yeah
like when i started playing
football i started getting big you know what i'm saying there you go there's no
more of that like
you know there's no more black sheep and then all of a sudden uh and there's
really um
only one person in my family who remained constant from the time i was a kid to
like now and that's my
uncle aubrey like like he's my what i would say is my father figure gotcha you
know what i'm saying
like that's the person i looked up to gotcha i've always wanted to be like him
uh like i used to get
my hair cut like him and i always want a relationship and a family like him he
wasn't beating your ass
no he wasn't being but i mean he he did offer discipline but there was there
was i mean he did beat
my ass yeah i might have got one whooping from him but he was he made it sound
like it was a free
sample of the grocery store you want some of this ass beat it's organic yeah so
uh yeah he uh he
works at the post office down there making georgia and i can say he's my real
father figure because
like um growing up like that was the only person who could really reason with
me okay yeah that was
that like i would listen to him before i would listen to my mom were you were
you a bad kid were
you getting in trouble i went like growing up smart ass i would presume i was
yeah i was very
intelligent man like i was i was uh you know like i was a part of beta club you
know like uh what's
beta club it's uh it's a in the south it's like a club for kids with high iqs
like an honors you're
like an honors program i was published in the sixth grade you know what i'm
saying i had published yeah
i was published in a book in the sixth grade you know so like i had i was very
intelligent what was
the book it was called uh budding authors it was a a collection of stories from
young kids that had
had high intellect really yeah yeah what'd you write a little story yeah i
wrote a story about uh the
werewolf of i think it was called the werewolf of macon georgia the werewolf of
something like that
real damn my mama got the book she got all that i could barely get through a
highlights man
kids writing that was dumb so i assume the gpa was good in high school yeah
yeah yeah i graduated
like a 4.1 what about the sats oh bro you know what's so crazy i actually
scored higher on the sats
in middle school than i did when i got older you're one of those kids that took
them young because you
were smart sats in middle school my mama had me in college courses in middle
school what are you doogie
hauser what'd you get what'd you get him admit would you get a middle school so
when i was in middle
school i believe the highest score was like uh was it a 15 or 1600 1600 so in
middle school i scored
like a 1480 whoa so when i went to uh high school the highest score was a 2100
and then i scored like
a 1700 but proportionally right proportionally yeah that's still pretty good
yeah you might be the
smartest person who's ever sat down you might be i think it's you and uh
probably francis ellis
are probably because he likes he aced his too did you go to college yes where'd
you go uh i don't
like to name the uh university no i don't think they like you naming them yeah
it's it's just like
it was a whole acrimonial situation we had bro i don't even know what that
means and they were uh
i'm gonna take it as a fence dropping big words but uh i do have uh an
engineering degree uh yeah okay
having a well i i don't have an engineer i don't have it on me but i have a i
have a a bachelor's
of science in environmental i have an environmental science degree okay i was
going to school to be
an environmental engineer okay so that's but by very accomplished yeah

Boy Genius w/ David Lucas - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip

are you garbage but it was kind of hard man because like my grandparents lived
in a very
affluent neighborhood all right it was so weird like growing up affluent these
are her parents
your mom's parents right so they did well right right my granddaddy did well uh
my grandmama
didn't work my great was just a hard worker who saved a lot of money and granddaddy
that's old
school yeah that's southern shit my granddaddy was a hard worker yeah he was a
hard worker he uh
it's not like a blues song he ended up buying a few rental properties all right
like that so what
did he do for a living was he just like he worked at a um what do you call i
guess it's like a textile
plant okay so they made like the little white squares you see in office
buildings oh the tiles
okay it was a company called armstrong he worked there for a very long time he
would go to work
like and my granddaddy was not a motherfucker to be with bro like he was almost
like he was semi-evil
bro like for real like it it was good and bad make the tiles just a little bit
smaller so they fall
but it was good and bad um you know living in my grandparent's household yeah
very strict man like
i was in church three four times a week uh he made me like i couldn't dress
wear like flash at the
church it was like straight white button up black slacks black shoes type thing
um i remember i used to
uh exclusively date white girls in elementary and middle because of where i
lived and white girls
gonna get you hung like it's like we was in the 60s but here's the thing he
married my grandmother
who's half white like my granddaddy was very racist towards white people but he
married a half white
lady damn half white i guess there you go that's how he gets in there he had
eight kids man um you know
my granddaddy bro he was he was he there was no reasoning with him uh it was
even this guy sounds
awesome you have to do chores and shit around the house man bro i was pretty
much just bro like it
wasn't it wasn't chores bro like i remember when i turned like 15 16 and i was
able to drive and get
a job it was better to get a job than to do the yeah because he had rental
properties
and he and i remember at one time he had like five of them in a row and he
would drop me off with a
gallon of water and tell me i'll be back in three hours and all this grass
better be cut and pick up all
the paper no lawnmower what do you do no i had a lawnmower i had a i had a lawnmower
but it was
like that so i'm like god and then he gave me something like ten dollars you
know i don't work
three hours i get ten dollars i'm a smart business man i had no cell phone this
was you know the 2000s
you know it was like 2000 bro 2001 i had the grass in a suit in in the hood and
this these were like
hood areas these were not like the suburbs it wasn't the suburbs at all these
were he owned rental
properties in the hood and he dropped me off with a gallon of water and a lawnmower
and say i'll be
back in three hours there was no if i finished early there was no calling him
because he didn't have a
cell phone so he come back whenever the hell he felt like yeah can't have
people tracking him you know
what i mean he's out there making yeah bro like that's my great daddy bro like
i like the only the
only memories i really have of him like he died like two three years ago and me
and him we had a very
like i guess you can call like a little precarious relationship yeah what do
you mean yeah because
when i got dropping you up in the middle of nowhere man come on man bottle of
poland spring but um
yeah like you know like bro he was like the memories i have of him is like him
like beating my ass you
know what i'm saying okay like a lot of kids from the south got sure yeah shit
i don't know if y'all got
people oh yeah i got the shit kicked i didn't too bad i deserved it every time
too no hard feelings
that shit beat out of me man you know um and yeah bro he smoked cigars have a
tampa jewel i still
remember him bro uh yeah and uh i played a lot of sports growing up uh mainly
grew up around my
grandparents my mom worked a lot right uh was the family where was your mom's
brothers and sisters
around the same area um so we lived in uh what was called north macon and my
great grandmother zania
walton who was my grandfather's mom uh allocated property to all of us because
her daddy was like
she was a native american and her daddy was black and white so her daddy was a
big time businessman
he brought a whole bunch of property that he left to her and then she left like
i have property in
georgia now damn it's doing all right she's all they're a fucking landowner i
know
so uh my family like there's an episode on my youtube where i took burt chrysher
to macon when
we did the tour and uh like my whole family lives on one private drive private
private yeah because
otherwise that's trash everybody just bought houses next to each other yeah
damn all right like the
rockefellers down there yeah i mean you know like it's it's it's middle class
georgia living which
doesn't take a lot of money to achieve you know what i'm saying like you could
be middle class in
georgia making 40k a year like you like you can still go get a two-bedroom
apartment in macon georgia
right now for 1200 in a good neighborhood you know so it you can go get a nice
house down there for
280 000 so it doesn't when i go to macon bro i feel like i'm jason like yeah i
go there
i take i take my family out to eat every day every i take the applebee's again
i'm talking about like
10 people bro i take about like oh i got everybody like free refills for
everybody let's go for real
what i'm flexing a family dinner i'm just saying like i live in la man you know
and me and my kids
eat is 100 you know so it's like i go home we can go to fucking fajitas which
is my favorite mexican
restaurant i can feed eight people for 130 and that's with drinks
that's bottomless margaritas my dude has come out sizzling holy but i play i
played sports growing
up um uh my mom so like in my earlier years i didn't see too much of my mom
because she just worked
way too hard you know what i'm saying to try to provide for me to have a good
life this is when you
guys were on your own no i'm already at your grandparents yeah i live yeah i
live like i
don't really remember living alone my mom because we moved in you were yeah you're
always with your
right as far as you remember right so i i um so even though your mom lived with
your with her parents
she was still out there busting her ass yes and so she had a house you know
what i'm saying so like
the age of when i was like five my grandmother had a stroke and an aneurysm so
my mom moved in
exclusively with my grandparents but i was always at my grandparents house to
go to the better school
you know what i mean oh so your mom lived in a different house right so you
were oh it was just
you and your granddad yeah yeah oh you wasn't even the buffer of your mom nah
god damn that's like
shawshank jesus christ so like i have like a very few memories like my mom if
she had a day off she
picked me up and we like go to her house but it was in the hood so i'd be like
man i'm gonna go back
to my grandparents you're there cutting the grass and shit i'd be like i'm
ready to go back to grubba
like where's the center air conditioning what's going on in there so that
probably made her like sad man
like like my mom like now i say at my age now we have a better relationship
than when i was a teenager
sure just because she worked so much she missed yeah my mom uh missed me
winning uh the state
championship and wrestling nice she missed me uh winning uh the the state
championship and football
all because she was working so hard okay but my granddaddy did start coming to
those things so when i
got like i say like 15 and people started noticing i was good in sports like
there was like a paradigm
shift like in my family because like before that i felt like the black sheep
sure i was the the one
kid who whose daddy was not around you know what i'm saying so the rest of my
cousins had you know
the dual parents the mom and the dad they had that dynamic of their
relationship so i was the one
who uh would get shitted on a lot you know like i'd be the butt of something so
if me and my other
cousins are doing something it's his fault you know what i mean it's his fault
so you started throwing
fireman's carries and dropping yeah throwing people in full nelson's so yeah
like when i started playing
football i started getting big you know what i'm saying there you go there's no
more of that like
you know there's no more black sheep and then all of a sudden uh and there's
really um
only one person in my family who remained constant from the time i was a kid to
like now and that's my
uncle aubrey like like he's my what i would say is my father figure gotcha you
know what i'm saying
like that's the person i looked up to gotcha i've always wanted to be like him
uh like i used to get
my hair cut like him and i always want a relationship and a family like him he
wasn't beating your ass
no he wasn't being but i mean he he did offer discipline but there was there
was i mean he did beat
my ass yeah i might have got one whooping from him but he was he made it sound
like it was a free
sample of the grocery store you want some of this ass beat it's organic yeah so
uh yeah he uh he
works at the post office down there making georgia and i can say he's my real
father figure because
like um growing up like that was the only person who could really reason with
me okay yeah that was
that like i would listen to him before i would listen to my mom were you were
you a bad kid were
you getting in trouble i went like growing up smart ass i would presume i was
yeah i was very
intelligent man like i was i was uh you know like i was a part of beta club you
know like uh what's
beta club it's uh it's a in the south it's like a club for kids with high iqs
like an honors you're
like an honors program i was published in the sixth grade you know what i'm
saying i had published yeah
i was published in a book in the sixth grade you know so like i had i was very
intelligent what was
the book it was called uh budding authors it was a a collection of stories from
young kids that had
had high intellect really yeah yeah what'd you write a little story yeah i
wrote a story about uh the
werewolf of i think it was called the werewolf of macon georgia the werewolf of
something like that
real damn my mama got the book she got all that i could barely get through a
highlights man
kids writing that was dumb so i assume the gpa was good in high school yeah
yeah yeah i graduated
like a 4.1 what about the sats oh bro you know what's so crazy i actually
scored higher on the sats
in middle school than i did when i got older you're one of those kids that took
them young because you
were smart sats in middle school my mama had me in college courses in middle
school what are you doogie
hauser what'd you get what'd you get him admit would you get a middle school so
when i was in middle
school i believe the highest score was like uh was it a 15 or 1600 1600 so in
middle school i scored
like a 1480 whoa so when i went to uh high school the highest score was a 2100
and then i scored like
a 1700 but proportionally right proportionally yeah that's still pretty good
yeah you might be the
smartest person who's ever sat down you might be i think it's you and uh
probably francis ellis
are probably because he likes he aced his too did you go to college yes where'd
you go uh i don't
like to name the uh university no i don't think they like you naming them yeah
it's it's just like
it was a whole acrimonial situation we had bro i don't even know what that
means and they were uh
i'm gonna take it as a fence dropping big words but uh i do have uh an
engineering degree uh yeah okay
having a well i i don't have an engineer i don't have it on me but i have a i
have a a bachelor's
of science in environmental i have an en