Name: AYG After Dark w/ Dr. Drew - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2022-08-02T21:00:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG After Dark w/ Dr. Drew - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'AYG After Dark w/ Dr. Drew - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-02. Transcript available.

Are you garbage?
Have you ever taken a bath at a hotel?
I'm sure.
Oh yes, yes, for sure.
Really?
Can you play chess?
Not well.
Okay.
Do you know anybody that's ever worked at Hooters?
I'm sure I do.
But not off the top of my mind.
Not somebody I'm close to.
Celebrity rehab.
Do you own a jet ski?
No.
Pretty good.
Have you ever used a thigh master?
No, but I know Suzanne Somers very well.
Really?
That's awesome.
Can't believe I just asked Dr. Drew if he ever used a thigh master.
He's lovely.
Let's say you were-
You can ask me anything.
This is getting better.
Why don't you get some really wild stuff going?
Come on, I'm ready for you guys.
I know the shit on that list that you're afraid to ask me.
Some of you are afraid to ask me.
I'm kind of keeping it in the middle of the road.
I want you to ask me shit you're afraid.
All right, how big's your dick, Dr. Drew?
Eight and a half.
Eight and a half?
Holy shit!
Seriously?
Eight, something like that.
Eight, something like that.
I haven't measured in years.
Let's go!
Is there a doctor in that house?
You're a seven and a half.
Fuck, I don't know.
Eight and a half?
Jesus Christ.
That sounds too big.
That sounds too big.
Have any celebrities that you've never met DM'd you a picture of something on
their body
and said, do you know what this is?
That I've never met?
No.
But that I've met?
Yes.
I'm sure you're fielding a lot of friends and colleagues.
Yes, all the time.
And I really feel strongly about doing it too because I had an extraordinary
clinical experience
that almost no one has now across critical care, general medicine, and psychiatry
and addiction.
And there's no one person that sees that spectrum anymore.
That scope, yeah.
They're all very, very specialized.
And I just want to give that back.
If people have questions, I'm happy to give it back.
Well, you are now my primary care physician.
Yeah, cool.
Because I got something on my leg I want you to take a look at before we let
you get out of here.
Done and done.
Will you, when you're eating a burger, if you eat a burger, will you cut it in
half?
Rarely.
Rarely.
But I get the, you remember, I get the lettuce wrap stuff.
I may eat it with a knife and fork too.
Classy, classy.
Nothing better than In-N-Out, guys.
Nothing better.
So what I was going to ask you, let's say you are at a grocery store.
Say you're buying a gallon of milk.
Will you take the first milk that's there or will you reach back and get the
milk from behind it?
I will look at the dates.
You'll look at the dates.
And you'll dig back to find the newest one?
I won't try too hard, but I will take a little date examination.
Anybody in your family or you ever claim to have seen a UFO?
No.
Okay.
Will you use the safe at a hotel?
Yes.
Really?
My wife uses it all the time.
I will not.
She uses it every time.
I have to struggle with it.
Are there magazines in your bathroom?
I used to read a lot in my bathroom, but they were like medical journals and
philosophy books.
Okay.
Not like a Sports Illustrated.
No.
Leafing through a Southern hospitality book.
Magazines sort of don't exist anymore.
Yeah.
They're kind of phased out.
You bring your phone when you're on the toilet?
Yes.
You do.
A hundred percent.
Can you name any of the guys from Pawn Stars?
Would I be able to identify them by sight?
Yeah.
At least the two guys.
The main guy and the son.
Okay.
Who's got a big beard now.
I almost didn't recognize him.
Rick Harrison is a gentleman.
Yeah.
And Chum Lee.
Shout out Chum.
Rick.
Chum Lee.
Yes.
Chum Lee.
Yes.
And big horse, huh?
And the old man, of course.
I love those guys.
Do you wipe front to back?
Front to back.
Front to back.
Okay.
I'm not a terrorist.
Do you pee sitting down or standing up?
Standing up, but yeah, standing up.
I mean, again, everything's a little because of my prostate disease.
Sure.
But it's standing up.
What's the undie situation?
What do you do?
Boxers or briefs?
Boxer briefs.
Boxer briefs.
The gentleman.
Tommy John.
Don't you guys advertise Tommy John?
We're not a Tommy John guy.
But we're open to it.
Tommy!
I don't know who we are this week, but we're probably somebody.
What are you sleeping?
Nothing or my boxer briefs.
Really?
Depends what we're into that night, the wife and I.
Sleeping naked.
Right?
Sometimes we're busy that night when we go to bed.
Is that what I'm saying?
Or in the morning.
That's what I'm talking about.
And by the way, it's sort of, if we're not, it's kind of a message that it's
time.
Sure.
There you go.
Have you ever owned your own pool cue or bowling ball?
We have a pool table.
No bowling ball.
Okay.
You guys shy away from the sexual stuff.
I notice you pull right back from-
Yeah, we're a repressed Irish Catholic, all right?
We're talking to an expert.
My wife and I have a lot of sex.
Yes.
You want to talk about it?
Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
Shout out to the doc.
Woo!
Do you own a pocket knife?
Probably somewhere, but not in recent time.
Is there a painting of you and the family anywhere in the house?
No.
There's kind of a picture painting of our kids when they were little.
Okay.
I see, though.
Have you ever gone to watch the implosion of a building?
I've watched it plenty online, but never gone to see one.
Okay.
I've sought it out online.
The Dunes Hotel going down was my favorite.
Really?
That's fucking weird.
That has real Building 7 vibes.
Yeah, that's where my mom used to perform this.
I never finished the whole story about her.
Oh, yeah.
So she was an opera singer herself when she was absconded with by the old man,
the 60-year-old
man.
And she was 18 or 20.
Do you know who that star was?
Yeah, I can never remember his name.
I just can't remember.
So it was like Errol Flynn or anything like that?
No, but he was one of the most prolific Western stars of history.
Damn.
And she lived, apparently, by the La Brea Tar Pits, sort of in that area.
And she would always regale us with stories about her, because she ended up in
films and
film noir, and she ended up singing for big bands.
And so she's opened the Dunes Hotel.
That's what she, so that Dunes sort of fascinates me, I guess, when there was a
big-
That makes sense.
Before the tower, when there was a big genie on the roof.
Do you know those pictures?
Sure.
Genie on the roof.
No, you don't.
Genie on the roof of the Dunes Hotel last night.
I've seen the picture.
You've seen the picture?
Okay.
I wasn't hanging out with Sam.
No, I just figured it was so obscure that no one had seen that.
And she would always regale us with stories about her friends, like Carolyn
Jones and Barbara
Eden.
And she hung with Anne Bancroft a lot.
These were her friends.
Sure.
And her step-sons, when I talked to him, he goes, yeah, my dad drew a lot, and
that's
probably why she left.
And he was not a great guy.
But they would have these couple over.
Every Sunday night, they had a party every Sunday night.
The man, he told me his name.
He didn't stay with me.
It was some sort of well-known character, movie actor.
Okay.
And he goes, the mom, the woman of this couple, I don't know, you may have
heard of her.
You ever see Granny and the Beverly Hillbillies?
I'm like, what?
Jesus.
I was saying, Irene.
She's somebody.
There's something.
She has another wild story, that actress.
She died on stage in Pippin, right here on Broadway.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
And in any event, I was like, she never mentioned that.
In my whole childhood, I watched the Beverly Hillbillies, and she never said,
oh, yeah,
I knew her.
Damn.
I partied with that chick.
Yeah.
Right.
Irene Ryan.
Irene Ryan.
Thank you.
Irene Ryan.
Yes.
You guys ever go to Sandals?
You ever go down to Sandals?
No, but I was in one of our cruises.
We end up at a Sandals-adjacent beach.
Okay.
What about hedonism?
You ever go down there?
No.
Get freaky deaky?
But there was a guy-
Do you want to?
Back on Loveline, we used to make fun of some of the people with some of the
videos that
were online with that.
The Rippin' and the Terror.
The Rippin' and Terror guy.
That was the guy.
Oh, Dr. Juneau's Rippin' and the Terror.
He don't Rick.
He don't Rick.
Yeah.
We used to make so much fun of that guy.
Oh, man.
I've been dropping Rippin' and the Terror on here for like two months.
Rippin' and the Terror, the wild women, the wild women, the Rippin' and
the Terror, the Rippin' and the Terror.
Ever spend any time at the Playboy Mansion?
Yes.
I'll tell you that in a second.
Whoa.
And we actually tracked that dude down.
Oh, shit.
He was like a social studies teacher in Arizona.
It was like, he was really, like, really weird.
You've got to see the video.
It's a wild, it's just a guy getting interviewed at Hedonism.
And he has others, too.
We found other deep cuts.
So anyway, what did you ask me?
Do I have a-
Playboy Mansion.
So the release party or the whatever it was for Loveline back in the day,
was there.
I did Politically Incorrect.
I used to do that show all the time.
And he would occasionally do that at the Playboy Mansion.
I did that.
And then I went with a friend of mine over there to have lunch with a guy that
ran the
Playboy TV.
Lunch?
Yeah.
He served lunch in there.
What did you have?
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
But I was-
I found it so disgusting.
Had the bunny burger.
Lettuce wrap.
But it really weirded me out at that point.
I was like, oh, my God.
You guys are all 75 years old.
Yeah.
You're like, you're 28.
It's weird.
Yeah.
It was like a restaurant or like they're just serving lunch like a house?
They're just serving lunch in the dining room.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was very, very weird.
Find a condom in your cob sack.
I mean, it was like-
Yeah.
The first time I was there was the Loveline launch party.
I was like, hey, it's cool.
The grotto's here.
You know, the zoo and everything.
And I remember I became friends with-
Oh, crap.
I'm blanking on his son's name.
Tommy Hefner.
Shit.
I can't remember his name right now.
But he was a little kid sitting in the window, I remember, when we had that
launch party.
Jesus.
He's a good guy, his son.
Good, good guy.
Cooper Hefner.
Cooper.
Thank you very much.
And sorry.
Growing up in the Playboy Mansion.
Cooper's a very good guy.
Smart dude.
Have you ever gone ghost hunting?
Thank you.