Name: Gross Feet w/ Greg Stone - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2022-10-11T21:31:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gross Feet w/ Greg Stone - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gross Feet w/ Greg Stone - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-11. Transcript available.

Are you garbage the shoes are tough and even we all agree I'm disgusting mm-hmm
correct
I think you're pretty good. I do I do pretty disgusting things
But the feeling of putting your foot in a shoe that already has somebody else's
like worn feet in it
Like where it's got the ridge in it got the room in someone else's Ridge
Yeah, where it's like it's like when somebody else's mouthpiece like it's
fucking molded to this
Game you needed it there was nothing better than mouthpiece night when you made
your mouthpiece
Oh, dude, you felt like a bad scientist. You're boiling water. Yeah, get it in
there good. Yeah
I can't do that with shoes now. Well the trick I believe is what I do you have
them cobbled new insoles
No, I just have the worst feet on the planet. Okay, so I know whatever I'm
going into is way
It's I'm like a kid from Vietnam. I'll take what I'm out Jersey. Yeah, it's
like I know you think this is bad
But you should see where I'm from exactly you know, I mean it's clearly over
there. Yeah. Yeah, so I don't make sense
That's a pretty good theory. Yeah, I've had athletes foot since I was three. Oh
man. I had it
I remember having it as like a seven-year-old. Yeah. Yeah now continually. Yeah,
here's the difference now
I don't know if you guys have to say have the same feeling but I used to hate
it when I was a kid had it really bad
Now is an older man when I have just a little bit. Mm-hmm
Oh, it feels good. Get that good itch going. That good scratch. I have a foot I
have a foot fork that I use
I'm gonna fucking throw up Greg. Why a foot fork? Yeah, it's a special. I don't
use that's we don't want an actual fork
It's a fork. No, no, it's a fork. It's your feet and shrimp cocktail. You just
gotta be like no
It's a fucking fork idiot. Yeah, it's a fork for scratching my feet that will
not be put back into rotation for eating
Where do you keep it in my nightstand by my bed? That is and I haven't just
made my skin crawl
Oh, it's good. Oh, it works through the it works through the through the sock
That's how good it is sometimes through the sock is it gives you that extra
roughness. Yeah
I like to I like scratching a barefoot with the sock on the on the other foot
I want to feel rich I do that I
I take my because I my feet you have no idea how bad my feet were I had there
was a there was a show called
Are you not using tenactin or nothing like that? It's not actual fact, and it's
not actually to think what I have is
I have some weird allergy my feet are like allergic to my sweat
So it's this constant like battle of he's got off-brand athlete's foot
Dude, I see I saw a doctor and she went gamers foot
I took my shoe off and my doctor when case of walking toe
I'm done. I don't think I stunk
We make that louder
Can you cut the last three seconds?
Can we go back but it was about athletes foot it's this crazy thing I have this
crazy foot thing that gets so bad
I would wrap my sock like a towel like you're gonna whip it put it in between
the toes and just like like a like
He's cutting down a redwood
Exactly
He's got two guys
He's in black and white for some reason
Yeah, holy shit
I saw a doctor. We're good now, but it was bad for about 12 years
Wow
12 years
I had for about 12 years
What's the treatment? What kind of cream?
Oh, it's uh
Or is it a pill?
It sounds more like an ooze
If it's a pill, you're in bad shape
It was a pill at first
They gotta fight it from the inside
Cause weren't they giving people pills for like fungus on their toes for a
little while?
Then they stopped that shit, right? Cause it was like knocking people off left
and right
The anti-fungal pill. Wasn't that like fucking killing people?
I don't know. I didn't have a I didn't have a I didn't have the fungus
It was like a whack. It was a way like when you say fungus. I'm like, please
Please
This is fucking pity patch
This is insane
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Day of the show called The Night Of with uh, Turturro
Yes, yes
Do you remember that guy's foot thing?
That's what you had?
That's what I got
That, they based a show on my foot thing
Holy shit
When I saw that, I felt represented
That was disgusting
Finally one foot of good guys
Yeah
These are my people
They got my letters
Yeah
And his name was Detective Stone or something like that in the movie
The guy's name was Stone in it
And I was like, someone has been listening to my podcast
Jesus
Damn, holy shit
You don't have it that bad though
No, it was worse
You're joking
Now it's good
But it was the point that people would look at me and they would go
We think you have a, like, is this diabetes?
Like, what is going on?
Jesus
It was really bad
I didn't have health insurance
It got better when I got married
I married my wife and got health insurance
Okay
What was she saying about the foot issue?
She would close her eyes and cry
Oh, God
She would go, it's fine
She would like, my foot would touch her body and she'd freak
And then I would go, I'm sorry
And she'd go, no, no, it's okay
I have to get used to it
Like
Like getting used to like a rabid dog in the house
Just don't look at him
Don't look at him
It was so bad, dude
It was a nightmare
But now I got health insurance
And we were good
And I had a fork for a while
I would do a thing where I would take my sock off
My feet
Sock off
Stand on a rug
And then do a spin
Like a spin
And it would just burn
And it would just like take off
Should I not be
Judging by the faces in the room
I will move on
It's also
No, it's
It's beautiful
Wildly
Yeah, but it's also
You've told it
You've done the spin
I don't know
The spin caught me off guard
A little bit
You're so numb
The first time I'm hearing it
You're like, yeah
I would do this cool spin
I'm like, I don't know how cool it is
You got mad the other day
When I was rubbing my feet in your car
On the
Oh, that's so good
Oh
People catch you
Took my flip-flops off
Flip-flops off
Brand new car
He's in my brand new car
And he's got his fucking hooves
And he's just mashing them together
And I'm like
Socks on is one thing
I'm like, I can see
And whatever that carpet is
It was like a Mr. Scrunchy
It was fucking perfect
Yeah
Oh, it felt so good
Can I come for a ride?
Let me try this thing out
In the trunk
Oh, man
What did Cassidy say
That killed us?
He was like
Stop rubbing your snout
No, no, no
He coughed
He sneezed
And he didn't
He sneezes
It's like that scene in the mask
When he swallows the bomb
It's like everything
It's so aggressive
I disagree
And then
Tommy goes
Can you use your hoof
To cover your snout next time?
Pig jokes, ma
Pig jokes
You believe this?
He's a good kid
He's a good kid
You're a good kid
You're a good kid
Thank you, boys
Alright, this next one's
From Snake with Arms
Did your parents save your baby teeth?
No, I don't think
My mom is ER nurse
Mine did for sure
My mom's ER nurse
So any of that shit
She's like
We're not keeping body parts
We're not keeping body parts
You know
We're not wrapping up the toe
Yeah
No, I don't think
They can have baby teeth
That's gross
Yeah, I found them
In like a dresser or something
As I grew up
I was like
What in the fuck is this?
Oh, man, I'm sorry
You never want to look back
Like I keep things
That you want to look back
You go like
Oh, I had a Snapple bottle
I kept from the first time
I ever kissed a girl
I kept it in a box
Her essence was in there
Oh, my God
How long?
It was in eighth grade
Until you murdered her
*laughs*