Name: The Family Oddball w/ Shane Gillis - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2022-10-21T21:35:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Family Oddball w/ Shane Gillis - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Family Oddball w/ Shane Gillis - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-21. Transcript available.

- Are you garbage?
- Have you ever ridden a golf cart not on a golf course?
- Uh, yeah, probably.
- All right.
Sometimes an uncle has one to drive to go get the mail or whatever.
- Did you steal it? - No.
- Did you steal it?
- We used to steal some golf carts on the, yeah.
But no, that was always out of course.
There's a lot of golf courses around here.
- Riding a golf cart is fucking clean living.
- I just did it two weeks ago.
My friends were out golfing and I can't golf for shit.
So I just went out to drink.
- That's the best.
- I'll take an eight on this one.
You're just in the back fucking chugging beers.
- I was wearing gym shorts and flip flops and yeah, it was great.
Just driving and drinking.
- Anybody who gets a caddy, you're fucking nuts.
People get a caddy, let's get a caddy.
Let the fuck out of here.
Get in the fucking cart and zipping around.
- Yeah, it's crazy.
- Have you ever paid? - This will show you.
This is, this is, so it's like, here's what I'm saying.
It's like a nice house, but then there's, hold on, I can't.
I turned me off on here.
There we go.
Every time I do this, I look at my own fucking picture.
- You look at yourself too much.
- It's crazy.
But yeah, that's, you know.
- For the listener, for the audio listener,
Shane just showed us a drop ceiling with a fucking tile
moved out of place, like he was reaching for a handgun.
- Plus I saw some, I saw some water damage on that one panel.
What's going on?
You got a leak upstairs?
- Yeah, my mom clogged the toilet here and the ceiling dropped out in the
basement.
- Fucking taking dumps, dude.
- Yeah, my mom dropped one hard.
- She shits like a dude.
- Oh, that's fucking hilarious.
Anyone in your family have truck nuts?
- No.
- No, okay.
- No, although I do have a cousin that he's never not wearing gym shorts all
year round
and almost never has sleeves.
- Oh, dude, that's tough.
- And he's, he is the funniest fucking dude in the world.
He, he wore a Purdue windbreaker to his brother's wedding.
He wore a pullover windbreaker.
- Where was the wedding?
- Fucking, uh, at a hotel in Mechanicsburg.
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Was the wedding cash bar?
- Uh, no, no, no.
You can't, uh, I don't remember.
I remember my cousin wanted me to do standup.
- Oh, dude, I've done standup at a wedding.
It does not end well.
- I tried to, I tried to avoid it.
And, uh, I got there late.
And I still, right when I walked in, as soon as I walked in the door, they were
like,
"Oh, he's here.
Uh, Shane, why don't you say a few words?"
And, uh, all I did was make fun of my cousin, Frankie, who was wearing the pullover.
And, uh, he had a front tooth.
His one, uh, he, he was lifting and he dropped the weight on his fucking tooth.
But he just has a cracked purple tooth.
- Jesus Christ.
- Yeah, I just made fun of his dead tooth.
And his mom, his mom, during making fun, I was like, "May your love live
forever."
Like Frankie's dead tooth.
His mom audibly was like, "Jesus Christ, Shane."
"Pretty great."
And I was like, "That's all I got."
I said like one thing.
I made fun of Frankie.
- That's so good. - Holy shit.
We always had somebody in the family that would show up to a wedding fucking
wearing like khakis or
something like that.
You're like, "Dude, what are you doing?"
- I think he was wearing khakis and a windbreaker, to be honest.
- Oh, that is fucking nuts.
- They, that family is fucking nuts.
That, that side of my family is, they're probably my favorite people to hang
out with.
Their, their dad was, is, uh, my dad's brother.
And he, he fucking, uh, he's, he's the smart one of the family.
He was the oldest and he, uh, he like went to, he went to Notre Dame.
And then he, after Notre Dame, he volunteered and joined the Marines in Vietnam.
- Jesus. - And then, then he got out and became a prison warden.
- Uh, he's a fucking hard ass, but he's funny.
He's very fucking funny.
And his kids, they're from like the coal region, his wife.
So they're from like Shemokin.
And that's, you want to see some fucking white trash, dude.
Go to Shemokin. - Yeah, I'm sure.
- Anywhere in the coal region is fucking, it's crazy.
They're all like Ukrainian and shit.
- A bunch of like Polacks from the mines. - Dog wrestlers and shit.
- Yeah, yeah. - True white trash.
- True white trash is Eastern European.
- Yeah, very Eastern European up in Northeast Pennsylvania.
But those dudes, those dudes in Nam that volunteered,
those guys are fucking badasses.
- Yeah, he was, he was, yeah.
And then he came back and was, again, he was a prison warden.
And what's funny is it like transformed him.
So he was around, uh, all the people he worked with were black dudes in like
the 80s.
So that's how he talks now.
- What's up, John? - That's awesome.
- For real, a hundred percent. He's like, you motherfuckers.
How's it going? You jive motherfucker.
It's like, damn.
- That's awesome.
- Yeah, he's the best.
Last time I was with them, they have a house out in South Bend.
So they, they're always, they go to every single Notre Dame game.
My cousins, here's a good one.
My cousins, uh, they lived here.
They lived in Mechanicsburg and they would go, they would drive to every single
Notre Dame game,
uh, which is like a 10 hour drive.
- Jesus.
- There were days where they would leave Friday night to get there for a, you
know,
3:00 PM kickoff on Saturday and drive back after the game.
Lunatics.
- Dude, that's insanity.
- Lunatics.
Last time I was there, they were eating ham salad.
- Yeah.
- Ham salad.
- You know what it's called?
It's called monkey meat.
That's an upstate Pennsylvania thing.
We had that when I was a kid.
- Oh, it was the grossest shit I've ever seen.
Yeah, that's where they're from.
- Oh, it's great.
- It's like a pink paste you put on like a hot dog bun.
- Oh, dude.
- It's the most disgusting shit I've ever seen.
- Dude, I'm gonna throw up.
- I'll tell you what's in it.
I'll tell you what's in it.
My aunt makes it.
It's unbelievable.
It's chopped ham, a little bit of relish and mayo.
Fantastic.
It's like garbage pate.
- It's, it's some of the grossest shit I've ever seen.
Actually, I, uh, here's a picture of my cousin, Frank.
Also, he's, again, he's wearing a Purdue basketball jersey during the day.
- I'm thinking he didn't go to Purdue.
- Oh, that's fucking, oh my god.
- Shout out to Frankie, boy.
What up, Frankie?
- Frankie is the best.
There he is eating a ham salad sandwich.
- Oh, my God, dude.
- Oh, look.
Here's the, here's the windbreaker at the wedding.
- All right, now, like, what did he say when you, when you shit on him?
Like, dude, you're like, clearly, I just saw the picture of you.
You're wearing a suit and tie.
And what does he, what were you like, why aren't you in a suit?
And he's like, this is okay.
- Yeah, of course.
He's like, I'm not wearing a fucking suit.
Come on.
He, this is a guy who during the Christmas parties or any party,
he'll lay on the couch.
Like the whole family will be in the room.
- He's just laying on the fucking couch.
- He lays on the couch.
He also always has a jug of iced tea as a spitter.
- Oh, my God.
- He's got a jug of iced tea, dude.
- Piece of shit.
- Dude, if you're carrying a spitter at Christmas, you're fucking trash.
Let's get your uncle or your cousin on next episode.
- He's got a little, he's got a little bow on it.
- He's nuts.
You'd love him.
- Oh, that's too fucking funny.
Oh, my, dude, the spitter.
I thought you were going to say he would carry around a jug of iced tea to
drink,
but the spitter is over the top.
- Jug of iced tea always has a gym bag with him.
- He never goes to the gym.
- No, he goes to the gym every day, dude.
He's jacked.
He's so strong.
- Gym bags are garbage, though.
- Yeah, he's got that retard strength.
- Yeah, he carries around a weight belt and a gym bag filled with skull.
- Oh, man.
- He sounds like my favorite fucking guy.
That's awesome.
- He's my favorite.
He was just telling me how skull doesn't kill you.
I was like, I really need to quit dip because I dip.
And I was like, I got to quit.
So he's like, it doesn't kill you.
It doesn't kill you.
I'm fine.
And then he smiles.
He's got like-
- He starts to bench it.
He's like, dude, I'm fine.
- His teeth are falling out.
- It makes you strong like me.