Name: 4th of July BBQ w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2022-11-08T22:09:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '4th of July BBQ w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '4th of July BBQ w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-08. Transcript available.

Are you garbage?
I was at our friend Paul Verzi's house.
Yes, you were.
Uchus.
A Uchus, who, as we know, is a classy guy, and he holds these...
An ambassador of class. He's been on the show twice.
He holds this annual 4th of July party, which was just, you know, the other
night.
Not a bad piece of property he's got up there, neither.
That guy's on top of the hill, I tell you.
He is. Top of the hill, he's got the high deck.
I felt like I was in Switzerland, and we were, like, doing that switchback to
get up to...
He lives up there, baby.
Nice house, beautiful piece of property, and I got to tell you, they throw the
fuck down.
But this is a thing. He's, like, a...
So this is my first, like, adult party I'm going to with a little bit of cash,
right?
With a little bit of disposable...
Where your family's not involved.
Where my family's not involved, right?
And, like...
You don't got your mom to go to to fucking, yo, break me off 100 for the bar.
And this is a party I feel that you bring something.
You can't show up empty-handed.
At a Verzi party?
You can't do it.
I wouldn't show up.
I wouldn't walk up to his car without a bottle of something.
You kidding me?
This guy's classy.
Because you know if he showed up at your joint, he's going to have a little
something with him.
Of course.
Yeah, of course.
He's going to put an addition on your house.
Kevin, ground pool, you choose.
You want a diving board or a sliding board?
You choose.
So, I didn't know what the...
So, I'm this...
And, like, this brought up so much shit in me from being a fucking piece of
shit for the past, you know, whatever, 15 years.
I've never given anybody a good gift.
Anytime I'm given a gift, I'm self-conscious because I'm like, ah, they're
going to be like...
Your wife won't put her purse down?
People don't know how to act.
So, I never know what to...
Are all these foods free?
What's going on?
I never know what to do.
So, I'm like, this one's on the line.
I got to come fucking heavy bike.
I got to come correct.
And I got KCB, our last guest, texting me.
What are you bringing?
What do you get?
You know, what are you doing?
It's going to be a bag of Tostitos.
I can tell you that.
So, I go, can't go...
So, I even...
I fucking hit up Yanni.
I go, I need some fucking intel.
I go, Yanni, what's Mr. Verzi like to...
What kind of wine's he like?
Maybe he's got the scoops and some medium salsa.
I brought the queso.
That's a party stopper.
The queso's a showstopper.
Yo, toss this in the microwave real quick.
I want to put a pin in the story.
I remember the first time I had that salsa con queso.
Oh, come on.
Shout out to the Stunsky's house in like fucking 98.
Blew my hair back.
Those boys in the Tostitos lab weren't screwing around.
I'll tell you that.
Those guys were working overtime, racking their brains.
Come heavy or don't come at all.
That is the fucking salsa con queso motto.
Somebody stormed into a board meeting like, stop, I got it.
Right?
Holy.
Their spinach dip ain't nothing to shake a stick out of here.
I don't know about all that, but I'm fucking...
I stay south of the border.
That sounds like Canadian bullshit to me.
I go south, okay?
You and the Canucks can have the fucking spinach dip.
I'm down here in a sombrero partying.
I remember...
In case it's going to keep me.
My boy, Pat, we were drunk and we got back to his crib at night in like, I don't
know, high school or whatever.
He heated up?
That wasn't a thing.
Oh, jar right in the microwave.
That's what he did.
He came down.
Give it a little stir.
And I go, what's that all about?
What's that thing you got over there, dude?
Hey, where's the taco truck, huh?
Dude, I put one fucking...
One little fucking corner of a toast just to fucking wet my whistle a bit and
get my bearings.
Woo!
Yeah, it's like two weeks vacation.
That's a fucking...
Dude, that's a game changer, that shit.
Shout out to that.
We got to get a jar for the fucking studio.
Jar for the house.
Yeah.
So, and then my mom started buying...
I don't know.
This goes back to a thing.
I don't know if it was just never on my radar.
It was just always in the fridge and I never fucked with it.
But once I knew it, it's like then...
There was a couple of things that when they hit and your mom discovered it, it
was now
a staple and everybody loved it.
For us, it was those Snyder's broken honey mustard and onion pretzels.
Yeah.
When we found those things, it was like we discovered fucking...
I can't fuck.
Those things are like...
Those things are like radioactive to me.
They got a weird scent, a weird color.
They give you broken pretzels.
Buddy, I'm paying full price for the bag.
How about a little fucking...
How about a full pretz?
That was when we found out about honey roasted peanuts.
That was a game changer, too.
Brought like the planters.
We had no idea.
Foley's were never the same.
Took out a second mortgage.
Put your fucking planter's truck backing up.
Beep, beep, beep.
Put an exit of wood pellets.
How do you think the peanut bought that monocle?
It's all Foley money.
You put fucking Mr. Peanuts kids through college.
Skip a university?
Skip a university?
Okay.
So I gotta be honest.
I'm sweating this gift a little bit.
Sure.
So I hit up Yanni.
I go, yo, what's fucking Verzi?
What kind of wine's Verzi like?
He was like a nice cab, whatever.
Then I went back and listened to his episode,
because I know he mentioned a couple of fucking wines.
You two started throwing Stag's Revenge or something.
Stag's Leap.
Stag's Leap, the place in my neighborhood that didn't have it.
No, but there is a place in my neighborhood that's top shelf.
Like, I don't belong in there.
Sure.
That's most places for me.
So, check your W-2s on the way in.
I have an incomplete W-9.
Sorry, we cannot let you in.
From 40 years ago.
Still trying to get my head back.
So, I don't know what to do.
I'm panicking.
You know, I want to come correct.
He's also helped me out a lot personally in stand-up.
He used to take me on the road with him.
Sure.
It's more of like a gesture.
You know, I want to come correct is what I want to do.
Solid gold telephone.
Get him a shark watch.
I just bought two shark watches this weekend.
Oh, man.
This guy's going to be underwater all summer.
Goes in the dark underwater.
You have an above-ground pool and an underwater watch.
This guy's topsy-turvy over here.
Got a space penny right upside down.
This guy's ready for anything.
We have to keep him guessing.
Part the cars behind the garage.
Oh, man.
That's funny.
So, I ended up.
I get nervous in the wine place.
I don't even, I don't have confidence.
I'm like Googling the wine thing to make sure it was the right thing in the
wine store.
Wine's not my forte.
If it ain't Nisi wine.
You should have called me.
Well, you said you bought a bottle of Stag's Leap.
I listened in our episode.
A battle?
A battle.
A bottle.
I was going to say a bag.
A bottle.
So, I end up.
So, I go, you know what?
This is fucking.
You can only.
I think it's easier to go wrong with a bottle of wine, right?
I mean, not really.
I mean, he also said, he goes, you can go to everything.
You remove no doubt.
You remove all doubt.
You did that anyway.
That's what I wanted.
No doubt.
I wanted.
I'm coming fucking correct.
Well, you did that.
Kippy's at the party.
You did that.
I got a bottle of Lagavulin.
I don't even know how to pronounce it.
Lagavulin.
Something.
16.
What?
The high numbers.
16.
16% alcohol?
They had a 12.
I said, kick rocks with the 12.
A three?
Don't even look at me.
No, Lagavulin.
16.
That's his.
He goes, if I'm blowing it out, like if I'm like really going, like he's got it
on the
road a couple of times.
That's top shelf.
100 bucks a bottle.
100 bucks.
Probably wasn't a little bit more.
Oh, 108 with that.
All right.
They got me in Manhattan.
They get you.
Yeah.
Something like that.
A Johnny Walker blue.
But he said, he said, he's like, that's mine.
If I'm blowing it out, I'll get a bottle of that.
There you go.
And we'll go.
We'll go at it.
I feel like Johnny Walker, though, no matter which one you get, is like a
someone who doesn't
know about liquor, but wants to buy an expensive liquor.
Yeah.
Sure.
I wanted to come in like subtle.
Like I've heard you talk about, here you go, boy.
Pretty classy.
So.
Not a Jew.
You didn't do the rookie mistake of just putting it on a table.
You handed that to him, I would hope.
Well, listen.
This is the story.
That's a hander.
Yeah.
I'm not fucking letting that get mixed in with the fucking bottles of Schmiernoff.
Get the fuck out of here.
All of a sudden.
I made them come out to the car to get it.
All of a sudden, they're making mixed drinks with it.
What the fuck?
Fucking $32 shot you're taking.
No.
Come out to the car to the trunk.
So, I'm feeling.
So, then I've never felt confident giving a gift.
Now, that's like a new feeling for me.
So, I'm like, am I.
Gotta feel confident giving that.
I did.
So, I go up.
So, he's actually out front when we're pulling up.
Like, he's somebody.
He's out front.
So, we're walking down a beautiful piece of property.
I've heard he's got.
We're walking down a driveway.
And he goes, yo, kid.
What's up?
Comes out and meets us like in the front yard.
You know, dap him up.
I go, yo, this is for you.
In the box.
It comes in a box.
Not just a bottle.
You get a box with this thing.
I've never bought.
I mean, I bought wine in a box.
But that was the actual.
The bottle came in a box.
You ever give one of those wood boxes?
Come on.
I mean, what are we doing?
That's right from John Jameson, that thing.
Barrel whiskey went overboard.
It's private stock.
Kept it up in his room under his bed.
You can talk about a head stack.
So, I go, oh, here you go.
And like, I hand it to him.
He hugs me.
He hugs my wife.
Here you go.
Oh, shit.
Whoa.
He goes, oh, damn.
Fuck.
Thank you so much.
And then I knew it hit him because we take a couple of steps.
There's nine other bottles.
He's using it to start the grill.
But I hit him with it.
And he goes, oh, thank you.
Like, you go, oh, shit.
Thanks, you know.
And then we took a couple of steps, like, walking towards the house.
And I think it hit him.
And he goes, hey, good.
He turns around to my wife.
He goes, I mean, is this guy fucking class?
Or is this guy fucking class?
I'm like, yeah, man.
I was like, well, I'm coming.
I got to come correct here, baby.
If I'm coming correct anywhere, I'm coming correct here.
Fuck my parents.
I got to impress Mr. Mersey.
Then you pull out the buffalo dip.
Keep it real.
Got the con queso on me.
Bam.
Where's the microwave at?
I always thought it was a tough look.
People showed up with, like, you know, potluck stuff.
And they have the tinfoil over top.
Get a top today.
Come on.
I mean, if you're going to, like, I think that's fine.
If I, like, you know, it just might be because I'm a cousin.
If I'm going to, like, my fucking Aunt Patty's house or something, that's fine.
Because it's so, you're not putting on presentations to your, like, immediate
super family.
If you show up, and there's probably something banging in there, too.
Yeah.
If you show up to that.
Like Nisi's taco dip.
Shout out to the taco dip.
Never met a corn chip it didn't like.
It comes up, dude.
It's like a big fucking circle tray.
Dude, that on Christmas Eve.
Oh, ho, ho, ho.
Instead of mistletoe, you got taco dip?
Hold on.
I'll be calling it a taco dip.
Wait a minute.
So let's say, let's say, let's say.
This is a fucking doozy, folks.
Let's say in some instance.
Sure.
All right.
You did bring something.
All right.
Like, uh.
We brought some dessert or whatever.
Yeah.
All right.
Which I was kicking around.
No, he doesn't want.
He's got his.
What?
Some regular bozo.
But that's also the thing.
You can't show up to Verzi's like that.
You're fucking up with she.
You know, she has a vision.
I know.
They don't want you bringing it.
I was like, yo, what time tomorrow?
Three?
He's like, yeah.
I'm like, can I bring anything?
He's like, nah.
Yeah.
I was like, yeah.
Well, you got to answer.
You show up with a fucking 11 Krispy Kremes.
I got munchkins.
Whose birthday is.
I think I just killed you.
I've never seen you react like.
Dude.
Bring in munchkins.
I've been picking at him on the ride up.
Bring in munchkins, man.
It's such a trash look.
Unless it's early in the morning.
They're the only time munchkins should be making an appearance.
What are munchkins?
Get the fuck out of here.
Get the fuck out of here.
You want to be my producer and you know what a fucking munchkin is?
They're donut holes.
Yeah.
They're donut holes.
Oh, Duncan.
Made to perfection by one of the true artists of all time.
Joe Duncan.
Joey D.
Joey D kills.
You get a fresh one of those things?
Good night.
Woo.
Yeah.
I just want to say that that was the first time I felt good giving a gift.
Nice.
And it felt nice to give it to him.
Nice.
Who's so classy.
Yes.
You know, who's a very, you know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Felt really good.
That was good.
I got to say, by the way, he fucking souped her nuts.
Dude, I saw.
That party was.
I saw.
They must have set up about 35K worth of fucking firework.
Proper.
Like music cues.
Fucking Star Spangled Banner.
Ray Charles.
Did he have anybody working with him?
Because that's what I was wondering.
Yeah.
A couple of guys.
Really?
Yeah.
A couple of guys that weren't at the party?
No.
We didn't have a crew coming.
They're all missing fingers and shit.
Fireworks guys are here.
He's dressed like Danny McBride.
No.
Running around.
No.
That's awesome.
It's a good thing now.
It's like the crew's there.
Gotcha.
Like, you know, there's a couple of neighbors.
Gotcha.
A couple of regulars.
Stuff like that.
Gotcha.
That's awesome.
Home run.
Fucking food.
Everything was great.
I can imagine.
Great.
Good job, buddy.
Good job.
Felt real.
I felt like in a...
I felt like in a...
I drove my 2021 lease Kia up there.
I felt...
I was like, I'm doing...
Like, I'm not meeting my parents.
No nothing.
Kippy's back, baby.
Try to keep a good man down.
That's good shit.
My question was...
Sure.
If you go to somebody's house and you have, like, a baking dish or whatever, do
you wait
and take it with you or do you just let that slide?
Me, personally?
What's your rule on that?
What would you do?
Keep...
I don't want it.
Fuck, I want my dirty dishes back.
No.
Yeah, that stuff to me is like, I'll buy a new one.
Really?
Yeah, I don't care.
The piece was just leaving fucking cookie sheets everywhere?
No, she probably was.
That happened all the time.
Like, I would go to my...
You know, I'd go to my Aunt Patty.
I'll bring this back.
Give this to your mother.
It's from Easter.
Whatever.
I was like a fucking Tupperware salesman.
Hey, honey, would I work for a catering company?
Fucking the cash talks.
Let's go.
Game here for the game.
Make way with the green.
Ah, that's fantastic.
I love it.
Mm-hmm.
It was great.
How was your...
I don't think yours was as star-studded.
There was no Lagavulin, I can tell you that.
Shotgunned a couple of fucking paps, but...
I woke up.
I had fucking eight racks of ribs that I was responsible for.
Went out to the fucking...
You had to eat all eight of them?
My, I told you about, hey, rules are rules.
Tradition's tradition.
It's the only tradition on 4th of July.
The fattest guy is the eight racks of ribs.
No, I had to...
I had responsible for eight racks of ribs, and fucking I go out in the morning.
Traeger's not working.
Starter wasn't going.
Couldn't get the fire going.
What'd you do?
Called an audible.
I fucking put him in the microwave.
Now, we did him in the oven for four hours, slow-cooked, and then I finished
him on the grill.
The only thing that saved me was the sauce.
Took a little bit of fucking barbecue sauce, some German mustard, and the drippings
from the pan inside where I did the ribs.
Put it in an IV.
Made some smoothies while we waited.
A couple appetizers for the boys, huh?
Something to take the edge off.

4th of July BBQ w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip

Are you garbage?
I was at our friend Paul Verzi's house.
Yes, you were.
Uchus.
A Uchus, who, as we know, is a classy guy, and he holds these...
An ambassador of class. He's been on the show twice.
He holds this annual 4th of July party, which was just, you know, the other
night.
Not a bad piece of property he's got up there, neither.
That guy's on top of the hill, I tell you.
He is. Top of the hill, he's got the high deck.
I felt like I was in Switzerland, and we were, like, doing that switchback to
get up to...
He lives up there, baby.
Nice house, beautiful piece of property, and I got to tell you, they throw the
fuck down.
But this is a thing. He's, like, a...
So this is my first, like, adult party I'm going to with a little bit of cash,
right?
With a little bit of disposable...
Where your family's not involved.
Where my family's not involved, right?
And, like...
You don't got your mom to go to to fucking, yo, break me off 100 for the bar.
And this is a party I feel that you bring something.
You can't show up empty-handed.
At a Verzi party?
You can't do it.
I wouldn't show up.
I wouldn't walk up to his car without a bottle of something.
You kidding me?
This guy's classy.
Because you know if he showed up at your joint, he's going to have a little
something with him.
Of course.
Yeah, of course.
He's going to put an addition on your house.
Kevin, ground pool, you choose.
You want a diving board or a sliding board?
You choose.
So, I didn't know what the...
So, I'm this...
And, like, this brought up so much shit in me from being a fucking piece of
shit for the past, you know, whatever, 15 years.
I've never given anybody a good gift.
Anytime I'm given a gift, I'm self-conscious because I'm like, ah, they're
going to be like...
Your wife won't put her purse down?
People don't know how to act.
So, I never know what to...
Are all these foods free?
What's going on?
I never know what to do.
So, I'm like, this one's on the line.
I got to come fucking heavy bike.
I got to come correct.
And I got KCB, our last guest, texting me.
What are you bringing?
What do you get?
You know, what are you doing?
It's going to be a bag of Tostitos.
I can tell you that.
So, I go, can't go...
So, I even...
I fucking hit up Yanni.
I go, I need some fucking intel.
I go, Yanni, what's Mr. Verzi like to...
What kind of wine's he like?
Maybe he's got the scoops and some medium salsa.
I brought the queso.
That's a party stopper.
The queso's a showstopper.
Yo, toss this in the microwave real quick.
I want to put a pin in the story.
I remember the first time I had that salsa con queso.
Oh, come on.
Shout out to the Stunsky's house in like fucking 98.
Blew my hair back.
Those boys in the Tostitos lab weren't screwing around.
I'll tell you that.
Those guys were working overtime, racking their brains.
Come heavy or don't come at all.
That is the fucking salsa con queso motto.
Somebody stormed into a board meeting like, stop, I got it.
Right?
Holy.
Their spinach dip ain't nothing to shake a stick out of here.
I don't know about all that, but I'm fucking...
I stay south of the border.
That sounds like Canadian bullshit to me.
I go south, okay?
You and the Canucks can have the fucking spinach dip.
I'm down here in a sombrero partying.
I remember...
In case it's going to keep me.
My boy, Pat, we were drunk and we got back to his crib at night in like, I don't
know, high school or whatever.
He heated up?
That wasn't a thing.
Oh, jar right in the microwave.
That's what he did.
He came down.
Give it a little stir.
And I go, what's that all about?
What's that thing you got over there, dude?
Hey, where's the taco truck, huh?
Dude, I put one fucking...
One little fucking corner of a toast just to fucking wet my whistle a bit and
get my bearings.
Woo!
Yeah, it's like two weeks vacation.
That's a fucking...
Dude, that's a game changer, that shit.
Shout out to that.
We got to get a jar for the fucking studio.
Jar for the house.
Yeah.
So, and then my mom started buying...
I don't know.
This goes back to a thing.
I don't know if it was just never on my radar.
It was just always in the fridge and I never fucked with it.
But once I knew it, it's like then...
There was a couple of things that when they hit and your mom discovered it, it
was now
a staple and everybody loved it.
For us, it was those Snyder's broken honey mustard and onion pretzels.
Yeah.
When we found those things, it was like we discovered fucking...
I can't fuck.
Those things are like...
Those things are like radioactive to me.
They got a weird scent, a weird color.
They give you broken pretzels.
Buddy, I'm paying full price for the bag.
How about a little fucking...
How about a full pretz?
That was when we found out about honey roasted peanuts.
That was a game changer, too.
Brought like the planters.
We had no idea.
Foley's were never the same.
Took out a second mortgage.
Put your fucking planter's truck backing up.
Beep, beep, beep.
Put an exit of wood pellets.
How do you think the peanut bought that monocle?
It's all Foley money.
You put fucking Mr. Peanuts kids through college.
Skip a university?
Skip a university?
Okay.
So I gotta be honest.
I'm sweating this gift a little bit.
Sure.
So I hit up Yanni.
I go, yo, what's fucking Verzi?
What kind of wine's Verzi like?
He was like a nice cab, whatever.
Then I went back and listened to his episode,
because I know he mentioned a couple of fucking wines.
You two started throwing Stag's Revenge or something.
Stag's Leap.
Stag's Leap, the place in my neighborhood that didn't have it.
No, but there is a place in my neighborhood that's top shelf.
Like, I don't belong in there.
Sure.
That's most places for me.
So, check your W-2s on the way in.
I have an incomplete W-9.
Sorry, we cannot let you in.
From 40 years ago.
Still trying to get my head back.
So, I don't know what to do.
I'm panicking.
You know, I want to come correct.
He's also helped me out a lot personally in stand-up.
He used to take me on the road with him.
Sure.
It's more of like a gesture.
You know, I want to come correct is what I want to do.
Solid gold telephone.
Get him a shark watch.
I just bought two shark watches this weekend.
Oh, man.
This guy's going to be underwater all summer.
Goes in the dark underwater.
You have an above-ground pool and an underwater watch.
This guy's topsy-turvy over here.
Got a space penny right upside down.
This guy's ready for anything.
We have to keep him guessing.
Part the cars behind the garage.
Oh, man.
That's funny.
So, I ended up.
I get nervous in the wine place.
I don't even, I don't have confidence.
I'm like Googling the wine thing to make sure it was the right thing in the
wine store.
Wine's not my forte.
If it ain't Nisi wine.
You should have called me.
Well, you said you bought a bottle of Stag's Leap.
I listened in our episode.
A battle?
A battle.
A bottle.
I was going to say a bag.
A bottle.
So, I end up.
So, I go, you know what?
This is fucking.
You can only.
I think it's easier to go wrong with a bottle of wine, right?
I mean, not really.
I mean, he also said, he goes, you can go to everything.
You remove no doubt.
You remove all doubt.
You did that anyway.
That's what I wanted.
No doubt.
I wanted.
I'm coming fucking correct.
Well, you did that.
Kippy's at the party.
You did that.
I got a bottle of Lagavulin.
I don't even know how to pronounce it.
Lagavulin.
Something.
16.
What?
The high numbers.
16.
16% alcohol?
They had a 12.
I said, kick rocks with the 12.
A three?
Don't even look at me.
No, Lagavulin.
16.
That's his.
He goes, if I'm blowing it out, like if I'm like really going, like he's got it
on the
road a couple of times.
That's top shelf.
100 bucks a bottle.
100 bucks.
Probably wasn't a little bit more.
Oh, 108 with that.
All right.
They got me in Manhattan.
They get you.
Yeah.
Something like that.
A Johnny Walker blue.
But he said, he said, he's like, that's mine.
If I'm blowing it out, I'll get a bottle of that.
There you go.
And we'll go.
We'll go at it.
I feel like Johnny Walker, though, no matter which one you get, is like a
someone who doesn't
know about liquor, but wants to buy an expensive liquor.
Yeah.
Sure.
I wanted to come in like subtle.
Like I've heard you talk about, here you go, boy.
Pretty classy.
So.
Not a Jew.
You didn't do the rookie mistake of just putting it on a table.
You handed that to him, I would hope.
Well, listen.
This is the story.
That's a hander.
Yeah.
I'm not fucking letting that get mixed in with the fucking bottles of Schmiernoff.
Get the fuck out of here.
All of a sudden.
I made them come out to the car to get it.
All of a sudden, they're making mixed drinks with it.
What the fuck?
Fucking $32 shot you're taking.
No.
Come out to the car to the trunk.
So, I'm feeling.
So, then I've never felt confident giving a gift.
Now, that's like a new feeling for me.
So, I'm like, am I.
Gotta feel confident giving that.
I did.
So, I go up.
So, he's actually out front when we're pulling up.
Like, he's somebody.
He's out front.
So, we're walking down a beautiful piece of property.
I've heard he's got.
We're walking down a driveway.
And he goes, yo, kid.
What's up?
Comes out and meets us like in the front yard.
You know, dap him up.
I go, yo, this is for you.
In the box.
It comes in a box.
Not just a bottle.
You get a box with this thing.
I've never bought.
I mean, I bought wine in a box.
But that was the actual.
The bottle came in a box.
You ever give one of those wood boxes?
Come on.
I mean, what are we doing?
That's right from John Jameson, that thing.
Barrel whiskey went overboard.
It's private stock.
Kept it up in his room under his bed.
You can talk about a head stack.
So, I go, oh, here you go.
And like, I hand it to him.
He hugs me.
He hugs my wife.
Here you go.
Oh, shit.
Whoa.
He goes, oh, damn.
Fuck.
Thank you so much.
And then I knew it hit him because we take a couple of steps.
There's nine other bottles.
He's using it to start the grill.
But I hit him with it.
And he goes, oh, thank you.
Like, you go, oh, shit.
Thanks, you know.
And then we took a couple of steps, like, walking towards the house.
And I think it hit him.
And he goes, hey, good.
He turns around to my wife.
He goes, I mean, is this guy fucking class?
Or is this guy fucking class?
I'm like, yeah, man.
I was like, well, I'm coming.
I got to come correct here, baby.
If I'm coming correct anywhere, I'm coming correct here.
Fuck my parents.
I got to impress Mr. Mersey.
Then you pull out the buffalo dip.
Keep it real.
Got the con queso on me.
Bam.
Where's the microwave at?
I always thought it was a tough look.
People showed up with, like, you know, potluck stuff.
And they have the tinfoil over top.
Get a top today.
Come on.
I mean, if you're going to, like, I think that's fine.
If I, like, you know, it just might be because I'm a cousin.
If I'm going to, like, my fucking Aunt Patty's house or something, that's fine.
Because it's so, you're not putting on presentations to your, like, immediate
super family.
If you show up, and there's probably something banging in there, too.
Yeah.
If you show up to that.
Like Nisi's taco dip.
Shout out to the taco dip.
Never met a corn chip it didn't like.
It comes up, dude.
It's like a big fucking circle tray.
Dude, that on Christmas Eve.
Oh, ho, ho, ho.
Instead of mistletoe, you got taco dip?
Hold on.
I'll be calling it a taco dip.
Wait a minute.
So let's say, let's say, let's say.
This is a fucking doozy, folks.
Let's say in some instance.
Sure.
All right.
You did bring something.
All right.
Like, uh.
We brought some dessert or whatever.
Yeah.
All right.
Which I was kicking around.
No, he doesn't want.
He's got his.
What?
Some regular bozo.
But that's also the thing.
You can't show up to Verzi's like that.
You're fucking up with she.
You know, she has a vision.
I know.
They don't want you bringing it.
I was like, yo, what time tomorrow?
Three?
He's like, yeah.
I'm like, can I bring anything?
He's like, nah.
Yeah.
I was like, yeah.
Well, you got to answer.
You show up with